Getting Hard on the Hogwarts Express

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Gilderoy?" Miranda asks me.

"I'm quite certain," I say giving her a trademark Lockhart roguish smile. "Isn't this conversation familiar?"

"I trust you, it's just that, well...they're children. Children can be quite cruel, you know," she says.

"If I can't even handle a single train ride, I think I better bail out now," I say. "I'm supposed to be stuck with an entire castle of them for a whole year, I believe."

She chuckles lightly. "Lay low, this time, Professor," she says joking. "I love seeing you in the headlines, but even for you, it's a bit of excitement isn't it? Angering Malfoy that way," she says with a frown of worry.

I feel a shot of warmth in my chest at her concern. "I'll be good," I say.

"You promise?" she says.

"Well, it depends. If I'm not, do I get a spanking?"

She rolls her eyes. "You just had to ruin it." The Hogwarts Express blows its whistle. "Well, I suppose you better be on your way," she says looking down. "Here," she says.

"What's this? More paper? I promise to deliver the next chapter of my manuscript soon," I say.

"No, it's not that. It's just a few sandwiches," she says looking shifty.

I'm taken aback a moment. The Lockhart charm comes into play? Or is it my own? I shake the nonsense out of my head. "Thank you. I'll enjoy them on the ride," I say between the whistles. "I better run."

"Owl me when you arrive," she calls.

I run aboard the Hogwarts express. Now to find Harry. Lupin rode the Hogwarts express, and he was the "cool" teacher. Hence, I must also ride it.

As the train departs the station, I pull out my wand. "Point me to Harry Potter," I say. The wand points backward. Back towards the...station.

"Oh, right. Dobby. Well, I'll be the cool teacher for someone," I mutter to myself. It slipped my mind that second-year Dobby blocks the entrance to the station making Ron and Harry miss the train.

Instead, I wander through the train carts checking the compartments. Several compartments are, unfortunately, "full." Instead of the cool teacher, I'm just the awkward adult chaperone. I finally find a compartment that can't make excuses.

"Neville, my apprentice," I say shoving him aside and causing him to squawk in surprise. I survey the other occupants of the compartment. A bookish bushy-haired girl, a delicate blonde girl with radish earrings, and of course, a lithe redheaded girl. No doubt, Hermione, Luna, and Ginny.

I pat Neville on the shoulder and wipe imaginary tears. "You truly never let me down, Neville. Not even a week into the apprenticeship, and you do your master proud." Neville's ears quickly turn redder than the Gryffindor common room.

I turn to each with a smile. "Gilderoy Lockhart at your service," I say smiling. It's the girls' turn to blush. I nod inwardly. This was the reaction I was looking for. I notice Hermione is reading a book by yours truly. "A fine choice in reading the material," I say causing her blush to deepen.

"My name is Germione Hanger - I mean, Hermione Granger," she says. "Did you really wrestle a werewolf?" she says. I nod in affirmation, and she immediately begins to rapid-fire literary questions which I promptly ignore.

"Ginny Weasley," Ginny says in a tiny voice.

"Charmed," I say.

"You have quite an alarming infestation of nargles," Luna says.

"Yes, the medi-wizards said something to that effect. So do all boys, so you should stay far away from them," I say. Luna's eyes widen, and she scoots to the edge of the seat.

A clatter from the doors of the compartment reveals two identical red-heads causing Ginny to look up in surprise. "What are you two doing here?" she says speaking up.

"Now-now Gin-gin," says twin-one. "We wouldn't leave our baby sis all alone her first Hogwarts ride without a little checkup."

"I'm not a baby," she says scowling. "And I don't need a checkup."

"Says you," twin-two who eyes me suspiciously. "But I think this one looks a little old for the sorting hat," he says tapping his wand against the door frame.

"Indeed, brother of mine. One might think a wizard sitting alone with children be a tad strange," he says.

Hermione scowls at the twins. "Have respect, Fred, George. This is our new professor," she says.

"And my master," Neville adds.

"Oh, er, right. Sorry professor," twin-one says.

"I thought he looked familiar. Mum's got his poster pinned in the kitchen," twin-two says.

"Feorge, and Gred," they say each, in turn, shaking my hands.

"The pleasure is all mine," I say.

"What's this about a master? You haven't turned into a house-elf have you?" twin-one says.

"Master Lockhart signed a formal apprenticeship with me," Neville says.

"Blimey," twin-two says. "I guess you'll be a certified adventurer by the end of the year, then."

"That's right, Neville. Did you do the exercises I told you about?" He nods his head. "The sit-ups too?" He nods again. "The meditation?" He nods like a bird pecking seeds. "And did you polish your wand?"

He nods again, "Yes, sir. Three times right before bed, just like you told me."

Each of the twins immediate begins to crack up. Ginny, with as many brothers as she has, seems clued in as well from the small grin she is hiding. Ah, yes, I did indeed give him those exact set of instructions precisely for moments like this.

I eye each of the twins sternly. "And what's funny? You two look like a couple who like to get up to no good. I heard about you from my very big bestie Severus Snape. You won't be getting up to no good on this train will you?"

The two twins awkwardly muffle their laughter and share a glint of twin-speak with a single look no doubt planning my later demise. They shake their heads. "No sir," twin-one says. "I'd never in my life," twin-two says.

"Oh, that's good," I say lightly. "Because I saw Draco Malfoy two compartments down, and it'd be really awful if he were pranked. I'm sure his father would hear all about it too. Oh, look at this," I say leaning over. "You seemed to have dropped this bag full of gal-le-ons." I say in an exaggerated voice.

Twin-two looks at the bag blankly until twin-one gives him a shove with his elbow. "Right you are professor. We did drop this bag of gal-le-ons," he says in the same exaggerated tone of voice. "Two compartments down you, say?"

I nod slowly. "Yes," I say. "It'd be really awful for such an upstanding member of society to be pranked. But I'm sure you two boys aren't the type always up to no good," I say.

"Certainly," they say.

"Do you promise?"

They nod. "Of course," they say.

"Do you solemnly swear?" I ask.

They look at me queerly and share another short glance. "We do."

"Excellent. Carry on then. Oh, and definitely do not, on any account, ever, disturb Draco Malfoy's cabin. His father would be dreadfully disappointed," I say having enjoyed trolling the two twins slightly.

The two twins disappear. By this point, the children in the cabin are giving me odd looks. Luna, is actually staring at the ceiling, but she is the exception to pretty much every rule.

"You do realize they are incorrigible pranksters," Neville says.

I shake my head. "I doubt that."

Ginny is squinting at me, her shyness temporarily overcome. "Between the two of them, I doubt they even have a sickle."

Hermione looks mildly worried or even traumatized. "Was that really their bag of galleons?" she says doubtfully.

"Of course," I say with utmost seriousness. "Honesty and integrity are a vital code every educator lives by. And I, Gilderoy Lockhart, am not the exception, but the paradigm," I say.

She's smart enough to know better but still too naive to let herself see past my handsome teacher persona. I ignore the bangs coming from down the train.

The conversation patters out, and I find myself drifting off to sleep.

Small hands shake me awake. "Professor, professor," Neville says. "I think something's wrong."

I hear another few bangs and screams. "I'm sure it's just the twins," I say drowsily. Maybe I encouraged them a little too much.

The screams cry out closer now and much too genuine. I'm suddenly wide awake.

Isn't this the wrong script? They aren't supposed to show up till next year? If there are dementors here, I might as well snap my wand. There's no way I can pull off a patronus.

"Gilderoy! Oh, Gilderoy! Come out, come out wherever you are! I'd hate to slip and bite one of these scrumptious children," a man shouts followed by several men making mocking howling sounds.

"I smell your fear. Come out and play awhile."

I get up from the seat immediately. Neville grabs my arm, "Master," he says.

I push him back gently my face deadly serious. "You to stay here and lock the door. Don't come out, whatever you hear," I say.

I step into the train cart with my wand hanging at my side closing the door behind me. I spot a large man, easily six foot four holding a student by the scruff of his robes. A Ravenclaw judging by his colors. A fourth year judging by his size, but compared to the strength of the man, he might as well be a first year.

Four men stand behind him, their wands drawn, holding the students there at bay. At the end of the train cart, another two are blocking the other exit.

"Gilderoy Lockhart," the man says dropping the student. He slowly begins clapping. "I've heard many a tale of you. A master dueler. Can even wrestle a werewolf," he says and the men with him begin to hoot and howl in protest. "A man without fear, who isn't afraid of offending his betters," he says.

The way he puts emphasis on the last word makes me think he's sending me a message. It isn't too hard for me to connect the dots.

Malfoy.

I must have really rattled him to pull something like this. There will be no obvious connection to him, of course, but I certainly got the message.

"I'm afraid I haven't had the pleasure of your name," I say.

The man smiles cruelly, prominent canines glinting in the light of the train. "Fenrir Greyback," he all but growls.

"I don't suppose you're here for a social visit," I say. Fenrir growls in response.

I snap forward in a blur raising my wand. Fenrir blurs forward himself lifting the fourth year bodily and throwing him at me. I expect this and spin around the student dropping my wand and catching him quickly shoving him into another train compartment. Fenrir bulls into me from the side with a cry.

From the beginning, he was aiming to disarm me, but it was a feint of my own. I never intended to engage him with spellwork. My magic stat was still trash after all.

I give a shout of my own, rolling with Fenrir. This isn't like the duel with Wimblin. It is brutish and feral. I use every ounce of my strength as it turns into a momentary slugfest. I roll with the punches, surprised at the strength of the man's blows.

My physical stat points are on par but maybe only barely. As he attempts to go for my legs I manage to slip a knee into his face. "First blood," I say.

He roars in response tackling me to ground. I am not one to be polite. I immediately kick him in the nuts, staggering him. I'm back on my feet in moments and take advantage reigning down blow after blow on his face even as my knuckles turn numb.

My breath comes in huffs as Greyback falls to his knees. I eye the men behind him, and their wands, not liking the odds. I'm not even sure news of this will have gotten back to anyone. I can't count on getting help.

Lockhart's big mouth got him in a bind or two. I really should have learned the lesson.

Greyback begins to laugh, a loud uproarious laughter. He wipes his face with his sleeves rising back to his feet. As the blood smears clear away, I see unmarred skin. "I reckon you might have really wrestled a werewolf," the man says, the deep rumble of his voice shaking my ears. "But I'm different," he says. As he stares at me, his black eyes seem to glow amber.

He blurs forward faster than I can follow. I don't have time to react. I feel a gust of wind and glass braking behind my back before I even register the blow to my gut. I realized I'm lying on the area between the carts. It's old-fashion and not enclosed.

He appears above me shoving my head between the carts and to the tracks. I struggle with every ounce of my strength. He pushes me further and further over the edge, the feeling of gravity grasping hold of me as inevitable as death.

"It's almost a pity. I'd have a place for you in my pack."

I won't die! I scream in rage forcing my body beyond its limits.

A blue screen springs to life.

High Synchronization with Existing Memories:

Wandering with Werewolves Ch 4 Unlocked!

Wandering with Werewolves Ch 5 Unlocked!

Wandering with Werewolves Ch 6 Unlocked!

My muscles swell and burst with new strength. I put my legs under me and kick Greyback flying back through into the train cart, just missing the two minions at his side.

One of them begins to point his wand at my face, but I snatch his wrist and pull him forward. The man flies toward me as if shot from a cannon. I continue the swing and throw him off the train. The other minion stares at me in horror and fumbles to the side trying to hide in the corner.

From the other cart, students look through the divider window in shock. I rip off my tattered lavender robes.

Every man has his bottom line. Greyback exceeded mine.

Ambushing me.

Threatening children.

Punching this beautiful face!

I am well and truly pissed!

Around my waist is my last resort. A belt containing a concealed compartment holds several vials. I wasn't idle after the potion duel. My secret weapons. I immediately down a healing potion. Next is a concoction of noxious green. More vile than an avada kedavra and smellier than the Dobby's underwear. I drink the vial in a gulp and it burns straight down to my stomach.

I combined the knowledge of Brewsters and the shamelessness of Lockhart to create this potion. I call it "Get Hard!"

I roar as even more strength soars through my body, my muscles transforming and hardening like literal steel. I sprint across the train disregarding spells from Greybacks gang as they pepper my body. Frenir himself is just getting to his feet, picking himself up from the dinted walls of a train compartment.

I slam into him with all the force of, well, the Hogwarts Express, shoving him through one compartment then the next compartment to the shrill screams of students. Walls crumble like paper as I bulldoze through them, like Captain America but a whole lot smarter, better looking and with a much more refined grasp of the Queen's English.

I shove Greyback all the way to the external wall of the train and through the window. The long-limbed bastard manages to hold onto the sides as the glass and wall of the train explode.

The cry of a damsel in distress awakens me from my rage.

Another figure besides Greyback is hanging from the walls of the train as the ground and wind whip by.

A slender figure.

Long blonde hair.

Pale and tender skin.

Oh, it's only Draco.

"Please save me," he cries with snot and tears running down his face. I curse in my heart but grab the little smug-rich-viper spawn and shove him back onto the train. I turn back to Greyback to catch a blow to the body so powerful it sends me up into the luggage rack and bouncing back down the train.

Through the various holes in all of the walls, I see students cowering. It looks as if a bomb has gone off on the train. Greyback stomps back out into the corridor.

He is no longer only a six-foot-four man. His arms are covered in fur. His hands lengthened to claws. His face partially turned into that of a wolf. He lets out a piercing howl.

The new knowledge from Wandering with Werewolves tickles the back of my mind. "Alpha," I whisper.

Not a mere werewolf. A true alpha capable of partial transformations even without the aid of moonlight.

I crawl out from under a trunk that followed me through the luggage rack. I spit up a bit of green potion and blood. On second thought, drinking an untested potion might not have been a bright idea.

Greyback goes down on all fours preparing to charge. I know if he gets to me this time, there will be no second chances. I pick up the trunk and hurl it at him with all of my might. The trunk catches him in the face and unexpectedly explodes.

Shards of wood scatter along with enough robes and underwear to clothe half the school. A cauldron pot flies by my head. A golden snitch zooms by.

"My luggage," Malfoy screams in utter despair as if his family was murdered right before his eyes.

A slender length of wood falls by my foot. "Up," I say, and the Nimbus 2000 leaps to my hand.

Memories Detected: Uncommon Broom of A Spoiled Brat. Unlock Memories 80 SBP?

"Yes," I say as Frenir charges through the falling robes and underwear.

+10 Whining

+8 Bragging

+5 Taunting

+4 Flying

…

I leap onto the broom and push the handle forward shooting zero to sixty in just enough seconds to fly into Greyback. I lean under the blow for my head, grabbing him by the foot, and I fly toward the hole marring the side of the train. Greyback's claws bit into the floor but aren't enough to stop the might of the Nimbus as I swing the broom into a rough stop sending it and Greyback flying out of the train.

I roll across the floor and nearly out of the same hole as I strain to grab the sides. My strength is spent and the after-effects of the potion hit me, quickly draining my strength as I begin to slip. One of Fenrir's minions cautiously approaches me. He points his wand at my prone figure, his hand shaky, but a spell on his lips.

"Stupefy!" squeaks a voice. The redlight strikes the man in the back. Neville scrambles into the compartment looking dumbly at all the damage.

"Apprentice," I shout sliding out of the train. "Woah, professor," call two voices in unison grabbing either of my arms and pulling me inside.

The twins look at me in awe. "And I thought -

"We were troublemakers," each says looking to me and the other. Ginny, Luna, and Hermione also peak around the sides, as more and more shell-shocked students appear from holes in the train.

"One million points to Gryffindor!" I shout before promptly passing out.