"Crap. I can't do this anymore."
Louisanna sighed in exhaustion as she tried to absorb all of the things she had read in the book that was placed on her lap, but no matter how hard she tried, nothing remained on her mind as her thoughts were roaming somewhere else.
There were two things she was thinking about. First is the bills that she needed to pay at the end of the month, especially her mother's hospital expenses which doctors say is quite a waste because her mother's condition doesn't change after all those years, and it was even worsened these past few days.
Second is her vivid dream about Domhall. She didn't know why but there was something in his presence that makes her captivated by him. She knew that he was a dangerous guy, but at the same time, she wanted to wrap both of her arms around his waist, lean her head onto his chest, and feel his heartbeat.
'Maybe because I was fascinated by his powers.'
Louisanna nodded a little as she tried to convince herself of that thought. There's no way her heart would feel something on a man who proclaims himself as the demon king.
There's also no way that she is in her sane mind because she was even entertaining the fact that all of those things happening to her was true.
What she was thinking right now was even more ridiculous than those stupid fairytales she never believed in even when she was a child.
Louisanna heaved a sigh again for the second time as she closed the book she was holding. They have a quiz at the last class on this day before she could go to work.
It is a major subject, but she can't do anything if there isn't even one single word retained in her mind every time she attempts to review. She would just pray that the quiz would postpone tomorrow.
"Studying is exhausting, isn't it?" Gianna asked her which made her snap out of her thoughts.
She was sitting beside him, but unlike her, Gianna wasn't studying. She was just staring at the sky which looked like a painting at this moment.
The color of sky had a mixture of the colors orange and red, and there are birds flying in some parts of it.
The scenery was overly breathtaking, so Louisanna had no questions about why Gianna had her eyes glistening as she never blinked once while trying to capture the image of the sky in her mind.
Louisanna didn't know that there was another reason why Gianna was fascinated by the sky. She stares at it like she hasn't seen that kind of view for a long time. Her eyes had a jolly expression on them... with a hint of longingness. Louisanna wondered why.
'Gianna is weird sometimes,' she told herself as she shook her head and looked at the sky as well.
She admits that it was pretty, though, but not to the point that she would be teary-eyed while staring at it. Maybe Gianna was suffering from something. She closed her eyes as she decided to remove that thought from her mind. Everyone has a problem they needed to solve, and overwhelming emotions they needed to overcome, just like her.
"No. Studying is fun," she answered as she leaned her head onto Gianna's shoulder. "Trying to survive every single day isn't."
"Did something happen?" Gianna asked her as her best friend's gaze went on her.
Even though she wasn't looking, she could feel the intensity of her stare. Her gaze was fixed on the students walking in front of them. Some of them were smiling while reading a book or talking to their friends, while some are alone while listening to music on their headsets.
But all of them were happy, and she could feel it. She somehow asked herself, if life became kinder to her and she doesn't need to experience all of these suffering and responsibilities at a young age, would she be able to smile genuinely as her classmates? Would she be able to have a normal life? Because in this life she has, even breathing became an obligation for her.
'Am I that bad on my past life for Heaven to let me suffer this much?' she couldn't help but ask herself in a bitter yet sorrowful tone.
"No, I'm fine," Louisanna answered as she closed her eyes. Darkness filled her body as she felt drowsy. "It was just so tiring. Everything feels exhausting."
Her body weakened as she let herself be vulnerable at that time. She could feel how her limbs felt like jelly as she didn't move much. It's not even helping that her head feels like it's getting pounded these past few days.
E novery part of her body was hurting, and she feels like her will to live was already decreasing. She's exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally.
But every time she's with Gianna, she feels like she's already safe. Gianna is in one of her comfort zones.
"Aw, my girl," Gianna told her as her hand traveled on her head and caressed it a bit, trying to put her to sleep. "It might be hard for you..." she even added as she showed a sad smile.
If only she can take the pain away, she would be glad to take it. It was her mission, after all.
Louisanna has Gianna as her guardian angel. She guided and protected Louisanna for the past three lifetimes she spent her life with her.
She was with her not just in this kind of suffering she's experiencing today, but also on those horrible days in her past lifetimes she was with her. In every lifetime Louisanna had, there's always a challenge or a wave of despair waiting for her. It was like a cycle that never ends.
And as much as Gianna could see what was happening with this lifetime; the fourth lifetime to be exact which would probably be the last time she was going to be Louisanna's guardian angel, she could see that their horrible fate would start playing again.
"I'll try to protect you as much as I can, Luna..." she whispered to her as she tapped her head for the last time since she already fell asleep on her shoulder. "I won't let you get hurt again."