Chapter 20

Trigger Warning ⚠️ Self Harm

"They're still dirty" the voice sneered, "Just like your dirty family history"

Jenna turned the tap back on, she turned the water on hot and scrubbed furiously at her hands. Her skin stung and angry red marks formed on them.

Tears welled in her eyes, she didn't want her hands to be dirty, she didn't want Adam to see how dirty her hands were, she didn't want him to catch a glimpse into the grim world of her life.

There was a knock on the bathroom door, Jenna didn't budge, she didn't notice the sound of Adam's constant knocking, her mind was focused fully on the task of ridding her hands of the filth that were on them.

The door to the bathroom swung open and a worried Adam walked in, his eyes landed on Jenna and surprise filled his face. He stood for a moment, his eyes taking in the scene of Jenna scrubbing her hands furiously under the hot water the tap was letting out.

"Jenna" Adam called out as he approached her with hasty steps, Jenna didn't acknowledge him, all she could her was the voice echoing over and over in her ears. Tears flowed down her face, matching the rhythm of the tap and masking her face in pain and agony.

Angry red marks covered the entirety of the back of Jenna's hands, her nails scrubbed harder and harder as she focused her mind solely on the task at hand.

Adam grabbed Jenna softly by the shoulders and spun her around to face him, his heart squeezed in agony as he watched tears cascade down her face, "What's wrong?" he asked.

Jenna didn't look at Adam, her eyes focused solely on her shaky hands, she didn't want him to see her that way, she had hoped she would have been able to have rid herself of the filth that stained her hands before he came looking.

Jenna sobbed harder, it hurt that he saw her that way, she didn't want him to think lesser of her even though there wasn't anything good about her, she wanted him to think she was strong, but now she knew she looked pitiful.

This was her second breakdown in one day and it was only the second day of knowing him, Jenna knew without a doubt that he wouldn't want her anymore, he would be tired of her antics, irritated even, probably even disappointed in himself for getting himself mixed up with trash like herself.

"Jenna, look at me" Adam said, he waited as Jenna slowly raised her eyes to return his stare, "what's wrong?"

Jenna opened her mouth to speak but she couldn't get a word out, it felt like she had swallowed something hot that had lodged itself in her throat, she tried clearing her throat, but the hot feeling wouldn't leave.

Jenna shook her head, she wanted to say something, to tell Adam that she wasn't normally like this, that she wasn't a problem, she wanted to apologize for her behavior, to beg him not to abandon her.

Adam wiped Jenna's face slowly, her eyes were still locked on his and it showed complete vulnerability, it made Adam's heart ache even more, his eyes moved down to Jenna's hands that were still clutched together tightly.

Adam steered Jenna to a seat at the corner of the room, Jenna allowed him to as she had lost all her reasoning and will to do anything, she felt bare and naked, her shameful self exposed for Adam to see.

Adam walked towards a cabinet, Jenna's eyes followed him, she watched as he scanned through it before coming back with what looked like a first aid kit. Adam knelt down in front of Jenna and gently reached for Jenna's hands.

Jenna retracted her hands back instantly, it was muscle memory, she didn't mean to pull away from his touch, she just didn't know what to do now.

"I'm not going to hurt you" Adam said softly, his eyes were fixed on Jenna, an act she realized he did often whenever she went down the rabbit hole.

Jenna searched Adam's face for signs of irritation, for a sign that he was just putting on an act and was indeed tired of her and her antics, Adam's eyes hid nothing and he looked genuinely worried for her.

Adam reached forward again for Jenna's hand, he held them softly in his hands, his hands were cool to the touch and it slightly relieved the burning feeling in Jenna's hands.

"Now, I'm going to apply this ointment on your hands and its probably going to sting like a bitch" Adam said softly, his eyes never leaving Jenna's, "let me know when you want me to stop so you can catch your breath"

Jenna nodded, she couldn't speak, she felt like if she tried to speak, she would only end up crying, she felt stupid, she felt like a fool for listening to the voice and belittling and doubting Adam's intentions towards her.

Adam applied the ointment slowly and carefully on Jenna's hands, it sting but it didn't hurt enough for Jenna to show it, it was nothing compared to the pain she experienced at the hands of her father, it was nothing compared to the emotional pain she had been living through.

"You're a strong girl" Adam said as he rubbed her hands gently.

"Are you trying to baby talk me right now?" Jenna asked, head bent and a small smile playing on her lips.

"What if I am?" Adam asked, his face mirrored a smile of his own, it was light and teasing, it made Jenna want to smile more.

"Then I guess I'd have to leave you to do it" Jenna said, "Since I quite enjoy it"