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Love Me Like This Love Me Like That

A woman experiences persistent sadness that never leaves her, like an ever-present companion. This feeling is sometimes comforting but often times tormenting. She hears voices in her head that sometimes blur the lines between her thoughts and its will. Her forever companion is her shadow, a reflection of herself that is in constant support of her, it assures and comforts her. She has grown dependent on these inner companions. Jenna, a 24 year old black girl has had it tough, she’s your textbook ghetto girl. From a crack dealing father, to a mother who got knocked up as a teenager and kept popping babies as fast as she was popping pills, Jenna has seen it all. The only solace Jenna has is herself and her three friends, the voice in her head, her shadow and depression. That is until she meets Adam. Adam is the polar opposite of Jenna, he grew up sheltered in a loving home and never had to worry about money unlike Jenna who fought for her survival every day of her life. To Jenna, he is just a rich white kid who is playing with her because he finds her interesting. An accidental murder or two, maybe even three brings them closer and they fall deeply for each other. Adam wants to pull Jenna out of the darkness but Jenna wants to bring him down with her because there is nowhere better than rock bottom for someone hiding from the light. Will Jenna be able to leave the darkness and find comfort in the light Adam provides her or will she succumb to her inner demon and prove that broken girls stay broken and break everything around them.

Jini_thewriter · Urban
Zu wenig Bewertungen
20 Chs

Chapter 19

"What do you want to eat?" Adam asked, Jenna pondered it as she put on his shirt and shorts that he lent her, they were bigger than she was, which was to be expected given their height difference. She loved how his clothes smelt, how his scent cascaded over her like a waterfall.

"I think I'll have whatever you want" Jenna answered from the other side of the door. Adam had exited his walk-in wardrobe for her so she could change comfortably, he had taken a pair of joggers and a hoodie for himself.

Jenna fumbled with the ropes of the shorts, they were long, which was also to be expected. She allowed her hands fumbling with the rope to take her mind away from the fact that she didn't have a decent idea of what to say if Adam prodded her again for what she wanted to eat.

She never thought she had options when it came to what to eat, she only ate whatever she saw, whether it was edible or not. She never had options, now that she was being given options it was nerve racking, she didn't know what to say.

Jenna didn't want her choice of food to disappoint Adam, she didn't want him to lose interest in her because she didn't know the basic food a rich person ordered.

"How about we have Chinese?" Adam asked, "I'm really feeling noodles right now"

It felt like a weight was being lifted off Jenna, like rocks were taken off her shoulder, she was grateful that he made the choice, but it also made her curious as to whether he realized her dilemma in not knowing what to choose.

Jenna slid the door open, Adam stood with his back to her, his phone edged between his shoulder blade and his ear. He was talking to someone on the phone, Jenna figured he was talking to the delivery person, since he kept mentioning names of food that Jenna had never heard before.

Jenna stood there, watching, savoring, drinking in the image of how broad and well sculpted Adam's body looked. His back still had water droplets sliding down, courtesy of the fact that he hadn't dried his hair yet.

Adam turned around, it was like he was aware of her presence in the room, his face lit up with a smile when his eyes landed on Jenna's small figure in his clothes.

"I knew you were bigger" Jenna started as she moved closer, "But this right here is just too much" Jenna said slowly, she played with the hem of his shirt that was hanging around her knees.

Adam didn't say anything, he just stared at her, the smile on his face becoming darker and dangerous, his eyes going from light to dark. Jenna was stunned, his face was a blank canvas that was showing everything he was thinking, Jenna had never had anyone be that transparent with their expressions with her.

"Is it a bad look?" Jenna asked, she felt unsure, what if she was just misinterpreting the look in his face, what if he was actually appalled by how his clothes looked on her, maybe he felt that she had made his clothes filthy by putting them on.

Adam moved closer to Jenna, slowly, it startled Jenna, he was always being so careful with her, it made her feel small and loved. "I'm a few seconds away from deciding if I want you or the takeout for dinner" his voice was low and sent shivers down Jenna's spine.

Jenna could feel her mouth go dry, her brain went empty, pictures of their intimate activities on the bed flashed through Jenna's head and she felt shy. She knew he meant every single word he said, she could see it in his eyes, the way he looked at her like she was an item on the menu.

"That sounds dangerous" Jenna whispered, she wanted him to make good on what he was thinking, but she was still scared, she was still new to everything and she didn't want to bore him out.

"I'll only do what you want" Adam said, his hands played with the ends of Jenna hair.

"Well, I'd like for you to sit down while I dry your hair" Jenna answered after a moment of pondering, the sunny smile lit Adam's face once more and the tension in the room dissipated.

"You'd do that for me?" Adam asked, his eyes were wide like saucers, he looked like a kid that was just told he could have any flavor of ice cream he wanted, with as many scoops as possible.

Jenna nodded, she was stunned, she couldn't understand how such a small gesture made him so happy. It wasn't like her mother always dried or braided her hair, but she used to before the kids became way too many to keep count.

"Should I go get the hair dryer?" Jenna asked, she gestured to the dresser at the corner of the room where she had kept the hair dryer after removing it.

"I'll get it for you" Adam said, the grin was still on his face when he returned with it, he sat in front of the mirror, Jenna stood hesitantly behind him, she had offered to dry his hair for him but in truth had no idea how to do it for other people besides herself.

"What if he finds your hands dirty and doesn't want them in his hair?" the voice asked, it was a small whisper but it echoed widely in Jenna's mind, it was like a small pebble that was thrown into the river, creating a bigger ripple.

Jenna's hand shook as she reached out to touch Adam's hair, she couldn't control the shaking, she kept attempting to reassure herself that Adam didn't mind and he was even very happy when she offered to do it for him.

"What if he only acted that so you wouldn't feel bad?" the voice asked, "what if he was just hoping you would get the hint and not touch him"

Jenna tried to shake the thought out of her head but it cluing to her just like her wet clothes had clung to her lanky frame. Jenna stared at her skin and the brown on her hands begun to look more like dirt than her skin tone.

"One second" Jenna said, she turned away from Adam and headed in the direction of the bathroom, "I need to wash my hands"

"Your hands?" Adam asked, confusion written all over his face as he watched her figure walk towards the bathroom.

"Yeah" Jenna answered, "I just noticed something I need to wash off"

Jenna's body shook with the effort to not run into the bathroom, she sighed in relief when she walked in and closed the door behind her. She walked determined to the basin and turned on the tap.

Her hands shakily reached for the bar of soap, she lathered her hands slowly and rubbed and rinsed them under the tap. Jenna inspected her hands, feeling satisfied she dried them on a paper towel and turned to leave.

"Did you actually think they're clean now?" the voice asked.

Jenna paused, she looked at her hands, the color of her hands once more mirroring dirt, her breath came in short gasps as her hands shook violently.

She was dirty, she needed to wash the filth off her hands before she could touch someone as clean and pure as Adam.

Jenna turned back to the sink and turned the tap back on, she rolled the sleeves of Adam's t-shirt up and lathered her hands once more, she scrubbed every part of her hands the way she had seen them do in the health care ads.

Jenna paused and looked at her hand, the more she scrubbed the more they looked dirty.

I'm not fully back but I'll be updating from now on.

Jini_thewritercreators' thoughts