Now You Know

And, that my friends, is how I managed to get pregnant by someone else's man. No, I'm not sorry. Well, that's not entirely true. I am sorry I can't be his wife and that we can't be a family the way I always hoped, but I'm not sorry that I'm having his baby because it means I will always have a part of him with me. And yes, I will tell him about it. I just don't know if it'll be before or after this scheduled shin dig.

I was startled by a loud knock on the door. "Geesh, Erin! What are you doing in there!!"

'Shit, it's Mother.' "Almost done," I called, stuffing the test strip and packaging into my purse. I'll have to tell my parents, too, but not yet. Darren first. "All yours," I said with a fake smile.

"Took long enough." She sniped. I made it to her bedroom door before I heard her voice call after me. "Hey!"

"Yeah, Mom,"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You sure?" Her eyes travelled down to my mid-section, hovering a little too long for my comfort.

"Fine, Mom. Really"

Her eyes came up and met mine. She didn't believe me. 'Oh, no! She knows. Don't panic, don't panic.' "If you say so." She turned on heels and went back to the bathroom.

Well, that was close. I went to my house in the back trying to think of anything I could use an excuse not to go. Think about it; his wife's baby shower probably isn't the best place to tell him he's got another baby in the works. Still, he had to know. He deserved that much. Maybe I could just text him? Or... I could tell Amy. No doubt she would tell him if I asked her to. No, that wouldn't work. The last time she got involved, it sped up the wedding date, no telling what this news would do. Maybe I should just keep it to myself; like not even tell him. Avoid the drama altogether. It's not like he can do anything about it anyway. After all, he has a wife and a very powerful father-in-law that could make life miserable for me and my child. 'I honestly don't know what to do, Lord. I've been such a selfish idiot.' I curled up on my bed and let the tears fall. I don't know how long I laid there crying or how my mother managed to sneak in without me hearing her but she had climbed in behind me and held me as I spent the last of my tears in silence. She asked no questions, made no judgments, just held me as I cried. And when my tears were done all I could squeak out was "I'm sorry."

"I know," she said hugging me tighter. "I know."

I fell asleep in her arms, exhausted from crying. When I woke up, she was gone. I found a note on my nightstand she had left "Dad and I are heading out. We will see you there if you choose to come. Either way, stay safe and know that you are loved. Love, Mom. PS: These will help with the nausea" Lying next to the note was a small tin of ginger mints. 'I knew it! She knows' Oh, well. It's probably for the best anyway.

My phone chirped with a message alert. Amy. "I hope you're coming. Trust me, it'll be worth it."

I simply replied "Undecided."

"Seriously, girl. It'll be worth it. Have I ever lied to you before?"

"Fine. See you later tonight." I hope she felt my eyes roll.

Okay, so before I go face the masses or 'messes', as the case may be, let me inject a bit of info here. After that breakfast with Amy, you know, the one following my weekend 'sex'capade; well, Amy did dig into the story that Darren had told me. She said she had started with Rocky, Amir's older brother and Darren's closest friend. She figured if anyone knew anything it would him. He told her the same story Darren had told me, that the girl was in fact Amir's girlfriend and the baby she was carrying was not Darren's. He told her that his parents were threatened with having their visas revoked and being deported back to India if they tried to stop the marriage to Darren or claim the unborn child.

Then she got a hold of Amir who confirmed the story again and finally the girl herself admitted that she had never been with Darren and no desire to be married to him, saying her heart belonged to Amir, but being a minor meant she couldn't stand against her father. This naturally sealed the deal for Amy, and she became angry. She had confronted the governor about what she had heard without telling him where she had heard it. He dismissed her accusations as political rumors spread by his enemies and the following day, he had the two married before a justice in a private ceremony at the mansion, having only his house staff bear witness.

So one weekend he's begging me to run away with him, the next week he's married to a teenager and I'm just lost. Amy swore she had something up her sleeve that would fix this whole stupid mess but I had no faith in it. Ugh, I should've just agreed to run off with him. But then, Darren would probably be in prison right now.

I put my suitcase in the trunk of car next to the gift I had gotten the baby. It's not the baby's fault we're in this mess. I spent the drive reliving every moment I have ever had with Darren from the time he licked the ice cream off my cheek at my tenth birthday, to the time I painted his nails hooker red while he was passed out from being out all night from his prom. I blared Skillet on the radio and let my memories wet my cheeks as I drove.