I guess it's someone he's planning to continue seeing

Ric and I hung out till midnight before he left to go home. We hung out like we usually do, playing games and watching shows together like we always do. We both had work in morning so it was better to catch some sleep before then.

As I got ready for bed, I kept thinking about little moments from our night. How our arms touched when we reached for snacks. His smile that felt so familiar.

"Stop it, Bee," I told myself while rigorously shaking my head. "Don't go there." I add. (Dangerous territory).

I tried to get Ric off my mind as I fell asleep. But my mind had other ideas.

First, we were holding hands, walking through our old neighborhood where we grew up. The trees, sounds, everything felt like the good old days we had as kids before things got complicated.

"Remember when we came here after school?" Ric asked, smiling at me. His smile ever so warm as always.

I nodded, his hand felt so natural in mine. "Those were simpler times. Better times I'll say. I miss those days." I say smiling back at him. I couldn't help it.

Then the scene changed. Now we are strolling along a beach as the sun set over the sparkling ocean waves. The sea breeze blew as Ric pulled me close, tucking my hair behind my ear. I held my breath at his gentle touch.

"You're so beautiful," he said said, suddenly reaching out to cup my chin. "I don't know what I'd do without you in my life." he adds.

I felt my cheeks flush as I gazed into his eyes. "You know I'll always be right here," I replied softly, covering his hand with mine and gave me that grin that never fails to make my heart flutter. "Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" He asks.

Ric gave me a warm smile. "I need you to know how incredible you are, Bee. How you make everything better just by being yourself." He reached for my face, stroking my cheek lightly.

My heart was thundering in my chest as his face inched closer. "Ric..." I breathed out, getting lost in the increasing intensity between us.

Before I could respond, his face inched closer until his lips were just a whisper away from mine. Our lips were just a whisper apart when my eyes flew open. I gasped, flushed and tangled in my sheets, heart still pounding from the abruptly interrupted dream moment. (Damn dream).

Those vivid, romantic words and moments, they had to just be my subconscious working in on their own, right? It has to be, because there's no way such a thing will ever happen. But a part of me couldn't dismiss the apparent truth the dream seemed to be screaming at me. I felt a profound longing and affection for Ric that went far beyond our friendship or family bonds, defying every rule and boundary in existence.

As I replayed the intimate details, I couldn't help but remember how the undeniable romantic energy felt so real. One I could not pretend wasn't there, despite how unacceptable it is.

Rather than just shame or guilt, confusion swallowed me as I reckoned with these new feelings I've come to realize I have for my lifelong best friend and cousin. I surely will never succumb to such. I'm not even brave enough to even admit the meaning to myself? To face the consequences of this anyway.

"It's merely a dream " I say to myself. "It has nothing to do with reality."

Flustered, I reach for my phone to check the time. Thankfully it's four in the morning. I got up to get dressed for my run in a hurry, my mind unable to settle on a path forward and as if on impulse, I grabbed my phone and dialed up Paul.

"Hey, it's Bee. You free for dinner later?" I ask, my heart cautioning me not to. But am convinced or at least hoping that a date could temporarily stop all the questions in my mind and besides, I made Ric promise we'll date other people, so I should do just that.

Hours later, I meet up with Paul for dinner at a new restaurant downtown. He looked nice in a white shirt and his usual subtle cologne.

"You look really beautiful tonight, Bee," Paul said with a warm smile as our drinks arrived. "Not that I'm surprised, but I am curious what made you finally reach out to me for a date?"

I smile back. Paul has liked me for years now but I frequently look for reasons to avoid actually going out with him.

He was undoubtedly a catch, sweet, successful, the kind of guy many girls would feel lucky to date. But no matter how charming Paul was, I just could not seem to manufacture any romantic feelings for him. I wish I could but then that's the essence of this date right?

"So, working too hard as always I assume?" Paul asks as we go through the menu. "When was the last time you even took a day off?"

I shrug sheepishly "You know how it is, I can't help being a workaholic. My job keeps me insanely busy but I love it."

He reached across the table to briefly squeeze my hand and I quickly withdrew them. It was like a reflex thing to do. "You need to be better about taking breaks, Bee. All work and no play is no way to live." He said purposefully ignoring how I reacted and I am glad about that. I've always known him to be considerate though his touch sparked no affection for me. The idea of taking our this to a romantic level simply did not appeal for some insane reason. But that is something that can be rectified with time.

We chatted more about my intense work habits as our food arrived. Paul was in the midst of lightly scolding me about my lack of work-life balance when he suddenly paused.

"Oh, sorry, forgot to mention that I actually ran into Ric earlier today."

My ears immediately perk up at the sound of his name. "Oh yeah?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"He was having coffee at a cafe with some woman," Paul said softly. "She looked pretty...cozy with him, if you know what I mean." He winks at that and i try hard to smile at that.

A pang of something unfamiliar twists in my stomach at the mental image. Ric...on a date? Why did that make me feel almost jealous? He didn't even tell me he was going on another one but then it's not as if I didn't know completely.( he should have atleast told me yesterday). But then I can't blame him after all I made him promise to do that.

"Uumm, I guess it's someone he's planning to continue seeing then." I say carefully. I couldn't even bring myself to think about the possibility.

Ric had made no secret of his dislike for Paul over the years, though I never knew why. So Paul tended to steer clear of him. Paul shrugged. "Seemed like it could be headed that way at least, based on how the girl was around him."

I frowned, some irrational part of me feeling...hurt? Protective? Over Ric being romantically involved with some girl. (What has gotten into me these days).

"Well, good for him then, I guess," I replied, trying to sound indifferent. "You know it's funny that we are close but I actually don't know much about his dating life." I say knowing fully well it's a lie.

As the night went on, that nagging feeling lingered like a stone in my stomach. Making me start to seriously question whether this recent sense of possession over Ric is healthy or if it's pushing me towards something else altogether.