Ch 42 All of Me

"I am a werewolf. For real," I said at her exasperated look. "I honestly am. I'll show you, when you're ready."

"You should go out to the woods," said Anna nervously.

"You've never seen it, have you?" grinned Running Elk.

"I've seen the wolf," said Anna. "River Woman was a beautiful wolf."

"The transition is something to see. When he stood up that night! Did I ever mention how beautiful your mom was? I really was in awe. Just, uh, don't do the shoulder thing. It looked," he paused trying to find the right word, "weird."

"Wait, I thought you said you found out the night you got your spirit guide! When did you see River Woman?" asked Anna, suddenly full of suspicion.

"I saw her the anniversary of her death," Running Elk said softly. Anna's eyes went wide when she caught his meaning. I caught his eye, grinned at him.

"Best night ever!" we said again in unison.

Mahina didn't say anything. I think she half expected us to say we were pulling her leg.

I added fur to my hand, the same way I did for Sister. Her startled look was priceless.

"Dad worked hard with me, controlling my ability to change between man and wolf. He worked hard just training me. I love being what I am. You should have seen me in the fire. I carried that girl out on my back. I never would have made it either in or out without being what I am. When she looked at me, she saw Spirit Wolf. Spirit Wolf even gave her a message that I didn't know anything about," I said, grinning a little before getting serious again.

"You ready for more?"

"This is real. You really are?"

"I really am. I'm also still me, the same me you've gotten to know since I bumped your table at the coffee shop. I'm not the kind of werewolf that's in Sister's stories." I chuckled a bit. "The real thing, like I told Sister, is being a man, who can be a wolf. Or is it being a wolf who can be a man? I'm both, have been both. And before you ask, the moon is irrelevant!"

"Show me," Mahina said softly.

I took off my shirt and looked around the neighborhood. I partially shifted, adding fur and claws, my face taking on just a hint of the wolf. I didn't hold it long, just in case someone came around a corner.

Mahina had moved her hand along my furred arm. She looked fascinated and thoughtful. I wondered if it had really sunk in yet. Running Elk was grinning. I followed his line of sight to take in Anna, who had a fist in her mouth, her eyes huge. I think she was in shock. I leaned over and pulled her hand out of her mouth.

"You ok?"

"No. Grandfather said... it doesn't matter. I'm ok. I'll be ok. You're family, Little Wolf. This doesn't change that. It's just..."

"It's all right," I said. "I know it takes a bit of getting used to."

"I'd like to see you as a full wolf," said Mahina.

"You already have," I said with a grin, "on the cover of each of my mother's books. And since Sister insisted you read them all, you already know everything about it, except that I can change physically. Remember what Sister said?"

Mahina stared at me a second, her eyes getting big before understanding took over and she laughed out loud a little. I had a big smile myself, especially since she seemed to be accepting everything pretty well. Sister had told Mahina that the children's stories were a good example of what a werewolf child should learn. Sister had insisted Mahina tell her what her favorite pictures of me as a wolf pup were. I think Sister had stayed up and read all of the children's books about me in one night!

"I still want to see you, in real life."

"Go for a walk with me?"

"Sure," she said, getting up. She seemed a little hesitant when I held out my hand for her, but she took it, looking slightly troubled and very thoughtful.

"Dad, be back later."

"No problem."

I caught a whiff as I stood, and turned toward the back door where Dad had stayed.

"I have this," he said. "Just go. Don't have too much fun, and stay away from our neighbor's den."

"Yes, sir."

I was thoughtful as I took Mahina's hand.  I know what I had smelled, and I understood now why Dad had stayed in the doorway. Grandfather had come. Dad had kept him from interfering. I had seen the claws on Dad, had smelled the increase of the wolf within him. I figured it was about time Grandfather had an up-close and personal encounter with us. Better Dad than me. I might do something I'd regret.

"We have a pack of natural wolves that moved in last fall. There should be pups around soon."

I kept the conversation on our neighboring wolf pack as we walked away holding hands. I kept things casual looking. I pretended not to notice our audience.

Uncle Two Feathers didn't even try to hide his stare. The other two older council members followed behind us at a distance for a while. I stopped when I knew we were out of sight of the council members. We had left the houses far behind, having walked for about half an hour.

"In Sister's stories, the werewolf always goes behind a tree so no one has to deal with being naked. Dad and I have gotten fast at stripping. If I half-shift, there's a fair bit of fur. I mean, you'd see me naked as a wolf anyway, if you know what I mean?"

I paused, seriously considering shifting behind a tree, but I didn't want to hide anything from Mahina.

"This is more awkward than I thought it would be," I said running my hand through my hair. "Of course, I never really pictured shifting in front of someone. It's different shifting in front of other guy wolves. I did once in front of someone who wasn't a wolf. Mac had come out but that was..."

Mahina put her finger on my lips. "You're rambling. Are you nervous?"

"More than I should be," I said grinning.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Hmmm," was all that came out of me as I went for a kiss, ecstatic that she allowed it. I kept it a simple one, glad that she didn't object. I dared another and was gratified when she returned my gentle smooch. I pulled back to look at her. She gave me a nod, steeling her courage. I took her hands in mine.

"I don't know if I have actually said it or not, but I love you, very much. Even if you don't want to marry me because of this... I know it's a lot."

She put her finger to my lips again. "Got to be the most original marriage proposal ever," she said teasingly.

"Uh, uh," I said seriously. "I am not asking you to marry me, not yet. This is just the prelude. It wouldn't be fair to ask, without you having time, real time, to let all this sink in and give it real thought. Me being a werewolf, and honestly it isn't a word we use, we've always just referred to it as being wolf, but me being a werewolf isn't something to bring up after asking you to marry me. That wouldn't be fair. Trust me, when I do ask, I plan on doing it right proper."

I was already down to shorts. I stepped back, smiled at her, and dropped to all fours, shifting as fast as I could so she wouldn't get nauseated like Running Elk had. I sat back on my haunches, my tail wagging uncomfortably in the shorts, my tongue lolling out slightly. It was a pose I used to practice in front of my mirror, trying for the 'friendly dog' look.

Mahina's fingers reached out, much as Sister's had in the woods. Her fingers became entwined in my ruff. I closed my eyes briefly, sighing in contentment. I started rubbing on her, wanting my scent to cover her. She laughed, not realizing what I was doing.

"A wolf in shorts! Why don't Sister's stories just have the wolves keep the clothes on?"

"Because they'd look pretty silly," I answered her as I shifted back. "And they aren't comfortable to wear when running; let alone with a tail," I added with a bit of a teasing grumble.

"Show me how you looked in the fire."

We probably spent an hour with me leisurely going through my shifts. I finally managed enough courage to slip the shorts off. It felt ridiculous being embarrassed for her to see me as a naked wolf! I mean I had fur, and she had seen enough of my bare skin as a human. I hid my embarrassment by playing with her, being careful not to jump up on her. It was too easy to get excited around her and that wasn't something I couldn't hide as a wolf!

I kept us moving, mostly in a big circle. We talked about what it meant to be a wolf, both as a natural wolf and a werewolf. By the time we headed back, I knew the council members had given up trying to watch us. I couldn't help but wonder if they had thought their presence was going to stop me.

The council members who knew were sitting out behind Uncle's house when we got back. There was no sign of Grandfather. I couldn't help pointing them out to Mahina. She was a match for me alright! She waved to them, then made a point of stopping and kissing me before we walked on, our hands still entwined.

Dad was out by the fire. Running Elk and Anna had stayed. Derrick had finally come back around after spending the evening with Chani. He waved me over when he saw us.

"So, I had a chat with Chani tonight."

"Really? I had a chat with Mahina, " I said. She and I shared a grin and Running Elk snorted.

"About Chani?" Derrick asked.

"What about Chani?" asked Mahina.

"Chani and I went to prom together," I said. "We both love dancing and always seemed a natural couple. I knew back then though that there would never be anything between us. She could never accept the wolf within me, pressuring me to change my ways. It always kinda ticked me off, you know? That's probably why I embarrassed her the night of prom. I don't think she's ever really forgiven me."

"Or ever really gotten over you," said Derrick.

"Ya think bro?" asked Running Elk incredulously with a chuckle. "Everyone knows Chani still has a thing for Little Wolf and everyone but Chani knows that ain't nothing ever going to happen there."

"Chani is hopeless," added Anna. "I've tried to tell her."

"Chani is a decent person," I said, "very sweet, damn good photographer too. Just not for me," I added as I gave Mahina's hand a squeeze, smiling at her.

She smiled back. "I like Chani. Maybe it'll help if she and I had a talk. Maybe we'll go out for lunch tomorrow. I can get the inside scoop on you." She gave me that teasing grin I was becoming very familiar with.

"I can't think of anything about me you don't already know."

"Obviously you've never heard girls talk. And you'll stay away tomorrow! Promise?"

I gave her a nod as she grabbed Derrick's phone to call Chani. I was surprised Chani agreed.

"So, you two good?" Dad asked Mahina after she gave Derrick his phone back.

Mahina nodded as she went for my hand again.

"Hmm. We might have to do a family outing tomorrow night, maybe a trip to the pointe. Mac hasn't filled you in yet Derrick?"

"No, not yet."

"We still have to drive back, Dad, " I complained. "I don't want to leave out too late. But a trip to the pointe...might have to spend a weekend camping up there. Next weekend I'm driving up for that training Mac set up for me. I'll be fifteen days with that. What say we plan for the weekend after that?

"What kind of training?" asked Running Elk.

"Don't laugh. Dog training for drugs."

Despite my command otherwise, Running Elk busted out laughing. "Cuz!"

He couldn't get anything else out. Dad finally gave him an attention-getting punch to his shoulder. Running Elk tried to stop laughing, which caused Mahina to start giggling.

"Oh shut up, the both of you!" but I couldn't help chuckling a bit myself. Anna looked caught between wanting to join in and not wanting to offend me. At Derrick's look I added "because of the nose thing. Actually though, I'm going to learn about training the dogs. Can I help that I'll learn what the dogs are taught at the same time?"

Even Dad let out a smile. It felt good to end the night with laughter shared with friends and family. The laughter tempered the rage that had been in me.

I knew things were not good between me and my elders, but I also knew I still had family. As far as the rest of the tribe went, well, they never had known, so I was still just me being me as far as anyone else was concerned.

I shared a look with Running Elk. We gave each other a slight nod. We'd get together later, probably while the girls were having lunch, so he could fill me in with what happened after I left the council meeting, and I could tell him about showing Mahina what I was.

The last of the knot in my stomach began to dissipate. Grandfather had been what he had always been, just in front of the council. I had a feeling the newer council members might have some questions for him. However he answered them, it was no longer my concern, just like I was no longer his concern. It felt good letting go of that bit of stress.

Mahina tugged my hand. I couldn't help smiling at her even as I leaned in for a kiss. Having her know about me and accept me was also a relief.

Running Elk gave out a teasing holler as Mahina and I prolonged our kiss. That's what you have to put up with when you have family!