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Life Is Hard

Oz, an avid fan of all things fictional, because life sucks even for the best of us sometimes, is reborn as Ren, son of Bardock and Gine five years before Goku. This is his story, deal with it.

Time_Kink · TV
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79 Chs

Ch.61

Weeks later I'd ended up vanquishing Rex Buckland when he framed Prue for stealing a tiara and took a picture of the sisters breaking Prue out of jail. I told them I'd handle it and picked up the lantern he'd brought to store their powers. It went into the warehouse while I told them to take Prue back. Andy helped me settle things after I dealt with Hannah and left the tiara in Rex's office.

Prue was released and the police were hunting for Hannah and Rex. On the bright side I bought the cursed ancient Egyptian urn from a wealthy family in Cairo before anything could happen to it so it was stored in warehouse 2. Almost a month passed as Phoebe entered her fifth month of pregnancy. Piper and Prue were preparing for a home birth because I'd told them it would have to be born in the manor or the balance of hood and evil would tip towards hood too far and screw up the grand design.

Leo assured them before he'd left that it would be a very bad thing if the grand design broke too far towards one side. I told Phoebe that I'd unleash my full power on that day so that I could effect the celestial alignment and grant a powerful blessing of safety on the baby. So Piper and Prue were preparing to be mid wives and we were going to stay in the manor until the baby was born. In the meantime they ended up having a wendigo problem I dealt with rather quickly with Andy's help.

He simply lured the FBI agent outside and I vaporized her in a flash of fire. I told him once she was taken care of. "The only way to cure a wendigo scratch or bite without turning the victim into a wendigo is to kill the one that turned them before they kill someone. Now Piper's in the clear and this mess is behind us. I suggest you say she got a tip and left before disappearing."

He nodded and thanked me before I sighed. "I don't envy you, Andy, but I am grateful you're there to keep the girls clear of things."

He nodded and said he was glad we were there to save his ass and stop these things from happening. We filled the sisters in on the ride home and healed Piper's arm to boot with a pill. Andy had told the guy hunting the wendigo that it'd been dealt with. That night I helped Phoebe practice and learn magic for years in her mind, learning the book of shadows inside and out alongside every book she wanted to for the night, all within a few minutes while I held her.

The rest of the night was teaching her martial arts and languages while I made love to her horny pregnant self. It was quite interested to hear her moan and speak in French while I worked us both into a frenzy until our bodies demanded rest. I held her as we rested and she asked if we could really do this, have a baby and a life separate of her witch life all while going to college. I assured her I was right there with her and our daughter, all the way and I'd make it work for us.

She said she loved me and I smiled, telling her I loved her more than any words can express. Weeks later Friday the thirteenth was coming and I warned the sisters of Barbas and how to vanquish him. I went with Phoebe and Prue to a Wiccan shop for a good luck charm for Phoebe since she was anxious about her tests. When the witch who owned the shop got anxious, I stopped her and she felt the power I had in my touch.

I smiled lightly. "Relax, I won't let anything bad happen to you. We know what's coming."

She nodded slowly and I turned to Prue and Phoebe. "Barbas will be here any minute now to begin his hunt for thirteen witches."

As if on cue, he phased through the door and walked in. He stilled seeing me before asking. "Aren't you supposed to be in hell screwing that seer bitch?"

I tilted my head. "Not for over a century now. It's been a while, Barbas."

He looked from me to the other witches and asked. "A gift I see. And this one's pregnant, two for the price of one."

I growled and he looked back to me. "Oh, she's yours, how quant then."

Prue hit him with the vanquishing potion that we'd come up with that literally turned his worst fears against him. His worst fear was being back in the pit and he got it so straight to hell he went after they read the spell that accompanied the potion. Phoebe bought a lucky coin and signed a mail order thing before we were all invited to a Wiccan gathering. I gave the witch a card and told her of the coven in Armor Tech so she could join them for such ceremonies because we all did them on certain celestial alignments and seasonal changes.

She thanked me a bunch knowing she'd have been targeted by Barbas had we not been here. Weeks passed without incident while Leo returned and a young witch named Max got in trouble. Prue saved him and I gave his father a card, telling him the coven can help teach him to control his gift and hone his craft for good once he's ready. He thanked me and I just smiled and nodded before leaving.

Phoebe sat with me in the attic while putting the old toys they had packed up together. I repaired some of them and fixed a train set before Prue showed up. Phoebe laid back into my arms and asked Prue how it went. Prue said things were great and she'd decided to have kids of her own some day.

I grimaced and Phoebe sighed, keeping the secret she knew I dreaded most. She changed the subject as the baby kicked and put my hand over it. I kissed her neck and Prue asked to feel it as well. I moved my hand away and she touched Phoebe's six month along pregnant belly.

After one more kick Phoebe had to rush to the bathroom to pee so I whirled us there and went back upstairs. Prue said I was going to make a great dad someday and I grunted. "I sure hope so."

I whirled Phoebe back upstairs when she was ready and we continued playing with the old toys while I repaired them. Later that night we had a hot bath, candles and jazz music to help relax Phoebe. Baby oil and a foot massage was in order before a breast massage and long slow sex. With a thought the candles went out as I held her and went to sleep a bit later.

She got tired easier lately and I was alright with it, particularly after she blew me for a second climax when she couldn't take anymore pleasure on her own. Weeks later an earthquake shook the house and the nexus got out with the shadow demon that Penny trapped in it. I took my blade and dealt with it, draining the nexus after destroying the shadow demon. I told the sisters I'd taken in the power of the nexus and made it my own to prevent current issues.

I warned them it would refill quickly so after I repaired the basement, they'd have a few months before the natural elemental energy refilled it. Phoebe asked if I was alright and I nodded. "This isn't the first time I've had to drain the nexus pool after I banished my evil side. It's just raw magic and that I can store in my soul ring."

I showed her and she smiled before I took her downstairs, showing her there was nothing to fear. I told her about the shadow demon and how it had been trapped in it by Penny years ago but that I'd destroyed it for good so the nexus was clean. She was far more happy about that then and far less afraid of the basement. We went back upstairs and a couple weeks later I had to move a solid marble statue into the basement for the sisters.

When Phoebe saw Prue die, I touched her head and told them. "A lord of war. The glass sword is a dead giveaway. I'll hunt him down and vanquish him if it'll bring you peace of mind."

Phoebe kissed me and said that's why I was the best. I turned to Prue and told her it shouldn't take long because lord of war were usually collectors of old artifacts thanks to having lived in every period of time and they needed the soul of a first born witch along with that of a warrior to regain their power if they've lost it. Phoebe said one was vanquished but their ancestor a long while back by moving his sword across the world with her telekinesis.

I told her I'd take away his sword for good then and if that doesn't do it, I vaporize him. I kissed her forehead and told her to stop worrying. I reached out with my senses and disappeared in a shower of lightning, hearing Phoebe say that it was so hot when I take charge. I made things quick, simply taking the lord of war's sword and incinerating him before mentally compelling his sister to sell off all the auction-able stuff to Prue at Bucklands and donate all the proceeds to charities.

I appeared in a shower of lightning moments later and wrapped Phoebe in my arms saying it was done and the lord of war was vanquished. I turned to Prue and told her what he and his sister had planned so I'd worked with it by telling her what I'd done. "Even if he's reborn again a century from now, he'll have to start over and without a sword to boot."

Phoebe said she needed a foot massage and a shower so we disappeared in a whirl of wind after I warned Prue what the power magnifying spell really did and how the consequences was feeling their deaths. I told her power like that came with a cost and it wasn't always easy to live with. Prue came home extremely happy with her work life and thanked me before asking where Phoebe was.

I grunted. "She's taking a nap and I was just getting some school work done before joining her. I like to be there when she wakes up so I can see her sleepy smile and make sure she has everything she needs."

Prue smiled. "Speaking of which, I need to get ready, Andy's picking me up in an hour for dinner and a movie."

I wished her happiness and finished my work before going to be with Phoebe. Almost a month later I was doing a food pantry with the sisters for a church. When Phoebe had a premonition about warlocks, I found and destroyed them before they could flee, using my sword to take their powers that weren't demonic and sealing the ones that were in the gem. My forcefield power got a definite boost while Brendan, the half warlock, said I destroyed his brothers.

I shrugged and he asked if I was going to destroy him. I held out the hilt of the blade. "Take it and the evil in you will be purified, forced out of you and making you wholly human."

He asked how and I smiled. "It is the sword of Methuselah and the angel Orion's blade. With the power in it now, it will absorb and disperse the evil in anyone that touches the handle."

He hesitated before grabbing it. I stepped back and he shook, shifting into a warlock as Phoebe, Prue and Piper came in. I held up a hand and told them to relax. The blade absorbed his powers and evil before a black and red cloud formed from the crystal and flew up, dispersing in a wave as white light. I smiled as Brendan's body reverted and he passed out.

I took the blade and told them what I'd done before setting Brendan on a pew seat. He recovered in a bit and told us about the rogue coven and how it was gone now. He said he could feel the evil in him was gone as well. I sighed. "It only works on half demon's or half warlocks and I wish I'd done it on myself long ago, but it's good that it helped someone."

He thanked me and I just nodded while we sorted things out and left him to his priesthood. Weeks passed before it was nearly time for Phoebe to pop as it were. When a boy was kidnapped by Grimlocks, Prue was outed to a reporter who saw everything without proof so when he rolled a stroller into the road, I caught him on camera and called the cops before he showed up at the manor door throwing fake proof around. I hit him with memory dust and took his video tape of proof.

The cops came and I told them he harassed my sister-in-law at work, is stalking her and now trying to get them to run into the road and get hit by cars trying to save empty baby strollers. I told them that Armor Tech lawyers would be by the station by the time they take him away to file charges against him. They recognized me immediately since I'd done a lot of donating for police charity events and body armor donations for the police themselves. In fact the two uniforms were wearing full Armor Tech body armor with a stun pistol apiece.

I showed them the video of him setting everything up and rolling the baby stroller into the road where it was nearly hit by a car. As I said that Phoebe's water broke and Andy showed up. The Uni's arrested the reporter and we prepared for the baby's birth. Andy and Prue left to stop the Grimlocks while I summoned Penny and Patty to help deliver the baby.

Three hours later the labor ended just as Prue and Andy returned from saving both boys. Baby Patience Melinda Halliwell was born under an eclipse and planetary alignment. Things were so aligned that my protection spell cost me all the power I'd taken from all the nexus's to perform and greatly weakened me raw magic wise. I was severely weakened as I handed her to Phoebe.

Penny told me to stop being a wuss and man up. I grunted and told her to bite me. She looked shocked though not from my words, but from the blood dripping from my nose. I huffed. "If I'd been anything other than what I am, god or Titan included, that feat would've killed me outright. As it is, I have a migraine I haven't felt in over a thousand years. Not since I slew the titans and took their power."

I brushed the swaddled baby's hair and smiled. "Nothing evil can touch her now without being destroyed entirely. Not vanquished, erased from existence. The only way that'll change is if she willingly turns evil without provocation from any demon or warlock. What's more, no one with ill intent can come within ten feet of her. She is and always will be protected regardless of her choices on that end."

I wiped the blood away as my magic returned enough to give my strength back. We took Phoebe and Patience to the hospital with Penny and Patty to their surprise. I told them they'd stay in real physical bodies until the end of the wiccaning in six months when my power fully returns so that I might add it to the blessings to keep her good and balanced.

They asked what they'd do and I told them I'd though spending as much time as possible with their children and grandchildren or great grandchild would be obvious, as well as teaching the girls the tricks of the trade if they feel up to it. Phoebe was extremely happy about it all and I told them Penny could stay in the manor while Patty could join us in the spare room next door. Baby Patience was happy and in a small box bed when we saw her next.

A demon tried to get near her and was vaporized ten feet from her just as we saw it. I told them I was definitely warding the hospital because creepy ass demons taking babies didn't sit well with me at all. Phoebe agreed and I did just that room by room, freezing each room of the hospital until every inch was warded and the runes hidden from humans. I turned the foundation to crystal with the help of the coven that came to pay homage to our daughter.

The crystal basement was hidden as concrete and collected ambient magic to power the wards. Anyone magical could see and feel the wards protecting it while demons and warlocks were vaporized trying to get in. Eventually they stopped trying and a few days later we went home where I promised to connect the manors so it would be one manor. The coven sent over contractors to do so and by the time Piper was getting ready to leave for a convention in Hawaii, it was done.

It'd been a couple weeks and our elf nanny we'd hired alongside Saffron, a witch from the company who had mastered protection, healing and combat magics, we're watching over Patience when Phoebe and I couldn't be there. Which wasn't often because I switched to online classes for now and only left to run errands and take Phoebe on small dates when Patience was asleep. Still, the elf refused to take Patience next door and both Penny and Patty were like hens as much as Phoebe was.

When a ghost problem started up, I sent the coven on a ghost hunt. All across the city ghosts were sent up or down including the serial killer starting shit, Leo's old army pals, everyone. All the ghosts in the city were banished or released where needed. Sadly that was all the good news besides the semi peace around the house.

Andy dumped Prue and she was in pain so she joined Phoebe and I for some martial arts training in the living room. Phoebe had wanted to get back in shape after the baby and Patience liked watching us jump around from her crib. Weeks passed quickly after Piper returned and Leo returned injured to the manor one day. I healed him with the whitelighter powers I had and left him to explain to Piper while I took the arrow.

Leo told me it had poison on it and I told him to piss off and die properly next time. Phoebe asked why I wanted the arrow and I told her I'd find an antidote to the poison so the feathered asses can stop walking on egg shells around Darklighters, the horny fallen angels of sorts. They dealt with said darklighter and a week later Andy was wanted for the murder of an IA officer while Phoebe saw him die in a premonition. When time was reset on Wednesday night making it Wednesday morning again, I made sure to have Prue tell Andy to wear his amulet of protection with his body armor.

When everything went down and Prue died, Rodriguez the demon was vanquished and it restarted once more. The next time Prue was knocked out and Andy survived only he wasn't supposed to while Rodriguez was captured and Tempest was sent back to the underworld forcefully, weakened. The Angel of Death came wanting to claim Andy so I asked him to take the Rodriguez instead. He warned me there would be time consequences with what I'd done in the past as a demon.

I decapitated Rodriguez and he was taken while his body disintegrated. Andy ended up pinning everything on Rodriguez who'd tried to frame him before he'd gone missing. When the witch trials began a few months later on the equinox a full year after the sisters had constituted their powers, I went with Phoebe and Piper to meet the full coven along with some female believers. Phoebe's witch friend was surprised by the turnout, but then so was all the believers and females she'd invited.

When she asked if I was a witch as well, I nodded. "You could say that. Those extras besides Phoebe and Piper here are apart of my coven, all three hundred of us. A super coven if you will. The world's largest and most powerful coven of good witches working to help humanity as their day jobs and fighting the evils of the world wherever we can confront them."

The believers asked why all the guys and I chuckled. "Mother Earth, Gaia and Hecate, the goddess of all magic, aren't sexist. Believe it or not, but you all stand before real witches with real power and they're willing to share their knowledge and power with all of you on this sacred day with a spell that will invigorate Mother Nature and save our world from pollution and deforestation for a time at least."

I nodded to them and they all formed several layered circles around the alter. When it was time, we all stripped and I chuckled at Phoebe and Piper's hesitancy. "Relax, we were all born naked and modesty is only taught to us later in life. I didn't learn modesty until after my former master gave me armor forged in hellfire well after I'd been over a century old and beaten in line."

I turned away and Phoebe sighed. "When in Rome."

Piper griped, but she stripped and I held my palms up as I began to hum. The witches followed my actions and soon the magic poured from us into a massive spell that the world's magic from the ley lines equaled. The world brightened, the sounds of nature became louder, buzzing with power as magic took color and amazed the believers as I spoke. "Mother Nature, Gaia, the Nexus of the All, source of all life and magic, grant our plea and restore this world. Heal the lands and sea, repair the skies and help your children understand your needs."

Three hundred and three voices repeated my spell including Piper and Phoebe. The began like a ripple, then culminated into a tidal wave of magic spreading out across the globe. The humans had received a sense of foreboding and encouragement. The foreboding was a warning of what would happen if they continued to pollute the world while the encouragement was to help fix it all.

Trash dissolved in the seas and on land all across the world with the toxic wastes and the elephant foot radioactive material. Forests were growing rapidly all over where they'd been torn down and oils spills were cleaned up fast, dissolving into clean sea water. The air became much cleaner as the ozone repaired itself to like it was hundreds of years ago. The rest of the power seeped into the animals on the endangered species list or close to it, giving them the instincts and understanding of how to mate properly.

It was the best we could do with a spell on the spring equinox. I smiled as the spell finished and turned to the naked believers. "Even basic human believers can become practitioners with guidance and understanding. That's how later natural born witches come to be down the generational line. Our brothers and sisters in my coven will teach you if you're willing to learn, but secrecy is key so you can practice the new age stuff openly but you won't be able to reveal your true abilities to the public without consequences or a real witch hunt will begin and possibly cause a war none of us want."

I dressed and they thanked us before I turned to Piper and Phoebe who'd dressed as soon as I had. "This place is charged with magics and a convergence of sorts. If you need to tap into the power to regain what was taken, here is where you'll get the best results. I can't interfere as all witches must undergo a trial if they're tied to a faction like you are. My coven is neutral and only serves nature, not good or evil, but we do destroy demons and protect humans as we desire. We just don't answer to the elders and they don't control or limit our power at their whims. We are as the witches of old were, strictly servants of nature."

Phoebe said she wishes she was as well. I tapped her forehead. "You have the knowledge of how to gain our power like us and the books on how to further it are yours as always. I'd never allow limits to be placed on you by the whims of anyone, I don't give a damn what purpose or reasons they have. Your free will means more to me than their feathered asses and I'd tear the feathers off anyone of them who tried to take it away from you."

Phoebe kissed me and Jake came over. "And we'd help. The power of three has our full support. If you all choose to become nature witches there isn't a power we don't dare fuck up to ensure your free will. The Source, the elders, the angels of Destiny, the avatars or death itself, no one is immune to the full power of our coven and it grows each day."

He gestured to me. "Ryan likes to say our coven is three hundred strong, but that's just here in San Fransico. Across the globe over thirty thousand witches world wide are with us. You felt one small ripple in a great ocean of power that's helping to repair the world as we speak."

They were shocked stiff and Jake told them I hadn't known, but they'd been teaching and guiding witches for the last few decades, be they new to the craft or born witches found and needing guidance with protection. I huffed. "So that's what you've been up to behind my back, no wonder it went so smoothly."

He smiled and told the believers that the coven welcomes all-comers who wish to learn and share in the blessings of the earth. We soon left and the sisters figured everything out after stopping several demons. Phoebe learned the hard way that while she was invincible, she couldn't throw lightning or fire anymore and finally they came together to rely on their power as sisters, not just as witches to defeat Abraxas. When they went to the future, they came back not happy with me at all except Phoebe.

Prue asked how the hell we had a kid and I winced saying it hadn't happened yet before Phoebe patted my arm and told me to explain. I grunted and explained my evil self in the past having slept with Prue's time traveling self when they went back in time at some point. I told her I knew she'd be pregnant and didn't care at the time being evil and all, but after I banished my evil self, I'd spent decades with the coven looking to find a way to remove the evil without killing her or the child because I definitely didn't want to add child murderer to the list of sins I'm guilty of. I reminded her of my sword hilt and told her the only being it wouldn't work on is the Source.

I sighed and told her if she didn't do it when she eventually goes back in time, I'll be erased, time will likely collapse in on itself in a loop and the whole world gets stuck with them. I took Phoebe's hand and told them. "Patience will be erased with me since my actions or lack there of will have been undone. Odds are my past self will go crazy and bad things will happen on a global scale with the evil in me and the power I had back then. There's a reason two separate sources of all evil feared me and a third died at my hands and that's before the power of the titans I took in. With it, all I can say is that I'm sorry and it's one of the few things I've done as I was evil that I regret now. The other being that I'd infected Phoebe with that same evil and it killed her in her past life, well, that and sleeping with all three of her sister's past life selves, evil enchantress included."

Piper scowled and Leo said it was ok because he got her away from me in his past life as well while Prue's past life hadn't become evil or pregnant like she would in the future so she'd helped stop it all and banish me while cursing Phoebe's past self. I took out an amulet and held it up for Phoebe. "Speaking of which, this makes the wearer immune to the powers of the charmed ones. One of these days that curse may come for you and it'll protect you. I don't know if being invincible will stop it so I carried it with me when I returned from the underworld until now just in case."

Phoebe let me put it on and I asked what happened in the future. They told me everything I basically knew only I'd begun openly teaching magic to others and broke Phoebe out of prison when they failed to burn her at the stake or hurt her in any way. It caused a war to break out and I took the magical people somewhere future Leo said even the elders couldn't find so all of the world's magic slowly dimmed and died out even with Prue, our daughter and Piper with her daughter remaining alongside all the whitelighters who had missing witches.

I grunted and Prue said I'd offered to take her and nearly threatened to take our daughter as well but the elders and the whitelighters came to attack me together. I snorted. "Figures they would do something like that. Without their puppets to do their bidding on earth they're just a bunch of old asshats overindulging on their own self importance. The demons likely hid themselves or instigated the witch hunts no doubt, but the elders and whitelighters really take the cake. The moment they have no one to sacrifice for their war of good and evil, all they can do is try and force their pawns to come back or realize they'd have to fight their own damned battles."

Leo asked. "Why would magic fade?"

I smirked. "Neena."

He raised an eyebrow and I sighed. "Oh, you aren't privy to that information since you aren't an elder."

I told them of Neena and the origins of witches, warlocks, wizards, gypsies and all the human magic wielders before telling them how the elders declared their sovereignty and gave power to the angels of destiny, creating the grand design of hood and evil once the demons grew with magic in the world from the blood of the old ones. I explained the old ones and the origins of demons all the way to telling them the demonic wasteland where all the powers the demons die with go back to the old one Heremus. I told them that the side of evil is more than just trying to wipe out whitelighters and the elders.

I told them how the triad's true goal was to farm witches so that when enough powers are collected and sacrificed, Heremus could be reborn and awaken. I told them how they still wish to kill off the elders and in doing so, gain access to the power of the all, so that they could revive and bring back all the old ones, but they'd settle for Heremus for now and the small victories to revive it. I told them that the Triad had encouraged two Sources to come after me because of the evil in me and the power I'd collected which could bring them close to reviving the old one now, but killing me when I was evil would require a great risk and sacrifice on their part because I'd continued to take in powers.

Sighing, I told them that was the real reason Melinda and the witches up there sealed away my evil powers and essence, to keep it from helping the underworld because after millennia of slaughtering demons, the power was so immense I could've wiped out San Francisco and half the world in a single blast if I exploded at the time. I turned to Prue. "The child you'll have if you choose that path will be born to that evil, but my sword can take in all the evil it has and neutralize it, leaving a healthy and good witch baby with no demon powers or essence."

I grunted. "All this and the awkwardness is why I wasn't exactly leaping to tell you that hey, my evil self knocked boots with you in the future, but the way I'm your brother in law and the sex meant nothing because I love your sister more than I like breathing air and I'd rather be a slave again than live a single moment without her so please don't be mad and go get bouncy with a walking time bomb."

My words oozed sarcasm and the subject changed for now to where I'd sent the witches. I took a step back and Phoebe explained that one, how I was reincarnated and not just from this reality. She explained the painted world as a witch and immortal's paradise having been there a few times. She told them that should the elders attack or things go wrong, I'd take her and everyone I cared about or had magic that wanted to go there where magic is practically visible and safety is guaranteed to practice openly so long as it harms no one.

She told them of the vast libraries of magic and the six magic seeds that were like six nexuses of the all in seed form that fed that dimension with pure magic. I told them that I'd probably taken all the magicals including the witches, nymphs and all the magical creatures, using Neena to find her mate and the all to take with us so only the elders and those like the demons remained. I told them that without magic as a fundamental law of the world it would begin to grey out as people lose inspiration and dreams, luck and hope. I told them that the normal humans had relied on magic since they came into being, but if they attacked the magicals, I likely said fuck them and left them to suffer in silence.

Leo said that was cruel and I snorted. "You need to redefine your definition of cruelty. If they want a world without magic, I'd give them one if they gave me a reason to. Besides, with the demons and elders remaining the world would recover in time and humanity would bounce back while demons and elders lose power as nature takes it all back. Even Heremus would be sucked dry barring the evil as the grand design would be trashed."

I waved a hand. "Humanity would regain their hopes and dreams in time, but they'd never have magic again. They would have the world they wanted, where magic was reserved for faith, fairy tales and dreams.everything else would be moot and they can go fuck themselves if they earned it by attacking those I cared about."

I turned to Leo. "You can flap on away and tell the elders all of this because this is their fate if they allow that future to happen and there's not a damn thing they can do to stop it barring calling up Neena from where they trapped her in the center of the underworld so they could control the flow of magic. Somehow I highly doubt she'd see things their way and attack me when I can give her the things she wants most, her lover and the All."

Leo did orb away and we didn't hear from him for weeks. In the meantime Phoebe started up school again and Patience finally slept through the night. When Prue talked about a trapped painting, Penny went to work with her to stop her from trapping herself and vanquished the trapped warlock's lover. They brought the painting home and I stored it in the warehouse out of the way.

In the meantime Phoebe and I loaned Piper sixty grand to start up her club and I spent some time upgrading it from the supports to the electrical wiring and plumbing. I fixed all the building code violations and finished adding security cameras to boot. When P4 was up and running, I used my contacts to get a few bands booked for Piper for the first week of the grand opening. From Dido to Bon Jovi, they all played and it packed the club.

Luckily I got us a very private booth and put up a sound dampening spell on it so baby Patience could rock away while not being overwhelmed by the sounds and people. When Dishwalla said they were coming to the club, I decidedly didn't go and instead stayed home with the baby saying toxic poop and alcohol spells didn't go hand in hand. Phoebe told me to be glad she wasn't a boy or we'd have been pissed on as well. I shrugged and kissed her, telling her to enjoy her girls night out because tomorrow we'd have an us night with romantic candle light dinner, a movie, oil massages and a bubble bath with red wine and chocolate cherries.

She practically moaned against my lips and said she couldn't wait. Piper asked why she couldn't have something like what we have. I grunted saying feathers don't oil well. Phoebe slapped my chest and said she'd have it too someday.

She thanked Phoebe and scowled at me saying she wasn't with Leo. I chuckled. "You mean you're not physically with Leo. You've had a taste of angel food cake and you've got him on the mind so you compare every guy to him subconsciously and when they don't measure up they hit the road either by you leaving them or them feeling out that the spark had sizzled out. Trust me, I get it. He's good, decent looking and you don't have to worry about the family secret or him dying on you barring darklighter arrows. Still, a minute in the clouds is a day down here which is why he's gone so long at a time."

Piper frowned. "It is?"

I nodded. "Yup. To be fair though it's connected to this world's heaven realm so all the ghosts of all the good people and witches that've died pretty much stay in a different part of it. The elders pretty much run things and only answer to the angels of destiny, though both beings screw with the destiny of mortals like they're pieces on a checkers board."

Phoebe asked. "Don't you mean chess?"

I shook my head. "Chess implies they have higher brain functions and I don't want to give them too much credit or they might play God on a larger scale which FYI they aren't God. Just powerful magical beings who screw with people's lives like knowingly tossing a whitelighter to a witch that would fall for him only to pull him back and scold him when they inevitably do. Sick, twisted and simple. Say the word and I'll break down the gates and drag Leo back while turning the elders into pandas."

They frowned and I waved a hand. "Trust me, I'd love to beat on them some, but I mean literal pandas. Maybe they won't be so endangered anymore."

Phoebe kissed me and said they'd be back later. Later as it turns out, was after they vanquished a demon no one told me about. Still, I congratulated them and spent the next few months wining and dining Phoebe until the wiccaning. Baby Patience said her first word and I had it all recorded down to her first steps and everything.

It was heartwarming to see and Phoebe absolutely rubbed it in that her first word was Mama. After succubus's, ancient witches, the akashic records, a water demon, Barbas again, demons of hate and cupids, it was good to have a happy family moment. I'd gotten to meet Jack Sheridan and Dan Gordon who bought the house on the opposite side of the original manor. Still, it was nice to have a Cupid tell us that the remnants of Eros, the god of love, declared Phoebe and I true loves.

He said it hadn't gone over well with the council of cupids or the elders, but with Eros's blessing, we really were written in the stars and not even the angels of destiny or the elders could change that from the moment we met. He came back after beaming away and gave me a ring from the council saying it was Eros's ring and willed to me with the vanishing of the god of love. I put it away saying I wasn't ready to be a Cupid or god of love, but someday I wouldn't mind helping out.

For now at least, the ring was stored in the warehouse with the wand of Tuatha, her grimoire and the akashic records. On the bright side a full month passed of near peace besides basic demons that popped in and got vanquished. There was no abandoned babies or hauntings thanks to the coven and there was no diseased fruits thanks to Phoebe's funding of the club while ensuring all the employees had free poison and disease immune boosters.

P4 was a hit and well in the black especially with the hard light hologram stage I'd built in to replay recorded live bands. Phoebe finally took advantage of being rich and no prenup so she was able to help her sister's club as she liked while we continued our college classes, raised our daughter in peace and fought demons as they popped up. Piper's life ran semi smoothly as well because of it and it helped that I gave her a laptop and paperwork scanner. The laptop had a business paperwork program that sorted everything and gave suggestions as to how to handle the problems within the limits of the law.

The books were easily managed with it so Piper had plenty of time to live her life outside of the bar. The security cameras in the club made sure things like theft were caught quickly with special programmed software. On Valentine's Day we did have to deal with an animal problem, but no one died except the animals. The girls that conjured them into temporary humans forgot all about it and life went on.

One day Phoebe's amulet lit up and she showed me it. I grimaced and told her. "Today's the anniversary of the death of your past life. She died when she was your age and with her, our child. The amulet is protecting you from the curse and after midnight you won't have to wear it anymore."

She sighed and I held her and our daughter most of the day as we stayed in and had a family day since the amulet would continue to glow until it was over. After midnight, she took the amulet off and I put it away in the warehouse. Soon a bunch of demons were after a human Prue knew from her days as Ms.Hellfire, the assassin for hire when Barbas was doing the hiring through humans from the shadows. The guy escaped prison when two lower level demons came after him with level two demon weapons.

I got ahold of said weapons thanks to Andy and Prue had a one night stand with the criminal before we dealt with Litvack, the upper level demon that wanted him dead because he was human and knew too much. The level two weapons went to the coven to figure out how to make more of. It worked because it was just demonic runes on the weapon and while it needed special forging, it was still within our capabilities. Soon the whole coven had some while the originals went into the warehouse.

I gave the sisters one apiece and warned them how to use them properly. In the meantime, the next big issue popped up as a darklighter that curses hood people into committing suicide to collect their souls showed himself. The sisters dealt with him rather quickly and soon enough Penny's old coven members stopped by. I took one look at the old woman and told her she had cancer.

She didn't deny it and I offered a way out. I told her that Armor Tech was making a refined nanite pill that lets small robots enter the body and repair everything from broken bones and missing limbs to removing cancer cells and tumors. I told her it was in the human trials phase, but so far even the oldest and worst stage four cancer patients have all walked out the door feeling as healthy as in their twenties.

She said it was a miracle or magic and I shook my head. "No, just science. They're even working on rejuvenating the skin cells for reverse aging the body. After all, age is just a symptom of the wear and tear of time and sickness. You could look and feel like you're twenty years old again if you liked, but sadly the RNA of the Telomerase don't regenerate easily. Our stem cell research is still fairly new so you'd only look and feel young, not be young. Eventually your body would still give out in time, but you'd have a good thirty to forty years before then and who knows, we might extend that by centuries with stem cell research or genome mapping and re-sequencing with that time."

They were all stunned and I just shrugged. "Armor Tech is all about helping advance science and the human understanding of the universe. Extending the human lifespan a few centuries or a thousand years is well into the possibilities at this point. Though it's still a ways off for now. Perhaps one day we'll be colonizing distant planets and all be immortal, but for now, Armor Tech can help with your cancer if you're willing to roll the dice."

Prue asked for the odds and I sighed. "Out of seven hundred patients as of this morning, none have died from the treatment. Six hundred and ninety-nine were cured and living healthy lives right now. As for the last one, he had Sarah's four cancer in his liver, lunges, prostate and brain. He died before they could even get him to the facility testing room to give him the nanites. Jake keeps me up to date with emails on such projects."

I gestured to the old woman. "I'm not saying it's guaranteed and there isn't a risk, but it beats definitely dying if you do nothing. As for the demon, it's likely a group of misguided witches trying to summon Cryto and they'll likely stop soon when they realize he can't be summoned easily even if they piece together a skin suit because he's greedy for powers he lost and he won't come out just to be sent back again. I met him a few centuries ago and he's quite picky. The witches would have to offer him the power of the charmed ones or something of greater power to be worth his time."

She fidgeted and I told them he had the power to grant youth or age someone to dust and he despised witches so he'd likely kill two of the three that summon him because it takes a coven of three or more to vanquish him. I gave Gail the card to Armor Tech and told her that I'd look into the demon personally and vaporize him if he's summoned. Phoebe told her I was the best and Gail nodded wearily, asking if I was a demon myself.

I told her no and that I am an immortal witch and an old acquittance of Penny's long before she joined any coven. Gail left after a bit and I told the sisters what she and her coven had foolishly planned. I found and destroyed Cryto with my sword, taking his powers and leaving them no leg to stand on. Still, Gail took my offer and got cured of cancer along with a youth restoration even if the sisters didn't want anything to do with her or their coven afterwards.

Armor Tech was reserving the youth restoration for the old wealthy people who wanted to look and feel their best before the end so the company made billions on that process alone. The demon of illusions interrupted Phoebe's and my date to the film revival festival and got incinerated for it. We continued onwards as if it had nothing to do with us and got to see Phoebe's favorite movie mostly.

We ended up having sex in the back and no, she didn't call me Billy. Phoebe and I found a recently dead girl and helped her adjust before vanquishing the Libras demon that killed her. I took the encyclopedia on demons as we left and Prue had the ghost girl help her with her problem. After that Phoebe aced her final and we celebrated at the club where the Goo Goo Dolls were playing.

Thanks to Piper not getting sick, the charmed monkey issue never came up. Still they ended up running into the four horsemen of the apocalypse and sending Prue to another plane of existence. When evil requested a sit down to figure things out, I told the sisters I'd find Prue myself. I faded away and hopped planes until I sensed Prue and found her.

I brought her back and left the horseman of war there, surprising the three other horsemen that had come. I told them to leave and when death got violent, I put a blade to his throat and drew blood. "The Source may be the only current demon that can destroy you, but I definitely can as well. Now piss off and die when you fail to get your boy band back together or die now."

They hesitated before leaving after my threat to try their own hand at getting their colleague back. They failed of course and the Source destroyed them while the coven and I wiped out all the demons working under them. Weeks later a genie bottle showed up and I took it, preventing Phoebe from rubbing it. I rubbed it, wished the genie was human and kept the lamp.

He was shocked by my willingness to do so without wanting anything. I gave him a blank look saying. "You aren't my first genie and I killed the last one when she tried to trick me into freeing her so I'd take her place. Her power of projection is just one of many powers I have collected over the millennia, like time manipulation and reality warping. Screw demonic genies, I've killed titans and avatars when they pissed me off or I wanted their powers. Now off with you before I curse you into a wombat or fruit fly."

He left quickly only stopping to say the triad had sent him with a Dragon warlock. Said dragon warlock showed up an hour later and I gained the power to breathe fire and fly. He however died with a sword in his mouth. Piper and Leo left for the heavens and stayed home for a month.

We found Andy and a girl murdered and Darryl caught the guy in the same alleyway after the guardian was destroyed. Unfortunately when the guardian was destroyed, the murder weapon was destroyed as well so free Willy the judge, threw the case out even with witnesses and everything. It pissed off Prue to no end and Cole Turner made an appearance. Piper and Leo returned and I stayed out of their business while giving Prue a painting I finished off the asshole human that killed Andy.

I told her the frame had a hex on it and if blood is spilled in front of the painting, it'll seal him inside so long as he's near it. I told her that human law may not punish him, but witch law was different and no asshole feather fuckers can dictate that. I told her many witches seek revenge and so long as it isn't murder, there's no reason the elders should get involved and if they do, they can stuff it.

She said she'd pass, but that she'd keep the painted prison in mind and on a wall in the basement. I shrugged and put it there, warning her that if a demon is trapped inside it'll have to be moved to somewhere else or it'll effect the nexus. A while later Phoebe told me while I was feeding Patience that Cole Turner stopped by the school and flirted with her.

I stiffened and she told me to relax so I sighed and asked if she was interested. She shook her head and said she wasn't tempted in the slightest because she already had the sexiest incredible husband alive. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her before having to clean up our daughter. Later that evening Phoebe and Prue saved Cole while I got caught in the middle of Piper and Leo's crap.

Piper demanded I explain things to Leo in guy speak and I facepalmed when I heard what he was planning. Sighing, I told him. "Leo, Piper doesn't want you to propose to her because you want to sneak behind the elder's backs so they'd leave you alone. She wants what every romantic woman wants, for you to want to marry her and all that implies solely because she's the only woman you can see yourself wanting for the rest of your existence. Because you want her more than you want to breathe or to help innocents or whatever you feather asses do. Not because it makes things convenient or easier on yourselves."

I turned to Piper. "No more dragging me into your relationships be they with angels, elders, plumbers or the cable guy or whatever. I have my own love life and I'm not your sister. I don't do advice, I suck at it. I may be a guy, but I wasn't raised human and I barely know what it feels like to be one so leave me out of it."

I turned back to Leo. "And tell your bosses to piss off. Who you marry and love has nothing to do with your job. No one's boss no matter how personal the relationship is, has the right to dictate whom you can and can't be with. If they don't like it, tell them I said to fuck themselves and please, by all means, use my exact words. If they still give you lip, remind them I butchered a whitelighter before and I still have those powers so I can and will go up there to kick their feathered asses if they cause Piper so much as a stubbed toe of pain. I don't give a damned how good they are, I can bitch slap the taste out of their mouths like I can curb stomp the Source or anyone that pisses off my family."

He looked like I was about to attack him, mostly because of the pissed off glare on my face and the building anger in me. I stomped away and told the to stop yelling because I'd start with them if they wake Patience. You could hear a pin drop with the silence in my wake. Later that night Phoebe and the others came home with good news on the demons front and Prue didn't use my painting after all.

Phoebe and Piper helped her get through the pain and Piper agreed to marry Leo. After Phoebe and Patience were both asleep that night, I dealt with a demonic sorcerer and took his rare power of technopathy along with all his other non evil powers. I went through and did the same to every demon, darklighter and warlock in his company before having Armor Tech Emory their accounts and buy out the company for pennies on the dollar. By the time Piper and Leo were trying to sneak a wedding, no big issues popped up so when the elders took Leo, Piper begged me to bring him back.

I orbed up there and oh boy did the elders hate me by the time I was done beating them around which didn't take long. I took Leo back down and cleaned the blood off my tux. "Sorry about the interruption. Don't worry, no elders were killed in the mess that ensued. Though bitch slapping did occur and they like to throw lightning. Dumbasses don't understand what the word invincible means. Anyways, they're missing teeth and nothing they can't heal from except maybe their pride. Carry on."

Penny raised and eyebrow and winked at Phoebe saying she chose a good one. The ceremony continued until a panda elder showed up. I turned him into a panda and waved them off. "Continue."

Leo and Piper looked a bit stunned, but they said their vows, exchanged rings and kissed as Penny announced them husband and wife. I waved a hand and turned the elder back and he said I most certainly wasn't a witch anymore since no witch could do what I'd done. I told him to fuck off and eat bamboo which I shoved in his face while he spluttered. He said there would be consequences and I shoved the bamboo into his throat, pinning him against the wall as I growled. "You really don't want to threaten us. Now take your bamboo and flap away before I deep fry you like a roasted Turkey instead while using the bamboo as a spit."

He glared and took the bamboo before orbing away. Leo said I really shouldn't antagonize them and I grunted. "I don't really care. If they screw with me I'll deep fry them all and give the heavens to the dead witches up there to run. I don't believe in the grand design, I just don't give a damn enough to destroy it and rebuild another."

I huffed as I brought out the cake. "I know how they came to power and I know how they maintain that power. Now they know that power means nothing to me. They can leave those I care about alone or they won't get slapped around, they'll get curb stomped into the void where they can stay and bark orders at each other for eternity while stroking their own egos over their inflated self importance."

I sent Leo and Piper on a two week vacation to Hawaii and a couple days in Piper called because Leo had to leave for work. I told her to stay and enjoy her honeymoon before going up there again. They tried barring the gates, but I kicked the doors down as it were. I told them to send Leo down to enjoy his honeymoon with his wife or off to the void between realities they go.

One of them, an old bald guy, said that would tip the balance and I told him I didn't give a damn. I told him they had plenty of other whitelighters so whatever they needed him for could wait until after the honeymoon or they can fry for all I care. Leo came out and told me I shouldn't interfere like this because it makes things worse. I smacked and remote orbed him as one so he ended up flying to Piper fast.

I turned to the elders and shook my head. "You're no different than the avatars, taking their free will away. None of you have the right to interfere in people's lives no matter what position you hold. They chose to marry and now they choose to be together. Interfere again without reason and I won't threaten you again, I'll just be back to clean house. I'm sure the old dead witches can do better jobs than you have."

I orbed out back home and when their honeymoon was over, Piper thanked me. I nodded and turned to Leo who'd been sour seeing me. I shook my head. "I'm not sorry I slapped you. The more time you spent up there, the more you hurt Piper down here. If you can't find a balance between the two, then I suggest you quit and become a handy man or something. I'm sure Armor Tech could use magic or technology to give you any profession you want in minutes, knowledge included."

He said he helps people as a whitelighter and I sighed. "There are many ways to help and save people, Leo. A firefighter and a cop are just as much heroes as you are. A teacher inspires and teaches kids to go down the right paths if you prefer something less dangerous. I know there's a magic school Phoebe and I have been talking about sending Patience to so she can socialize with babies her own age. I'm sure many witches and magicals could benefit from your guidance there."

I patted his shoulder. "You don't have to have a difficult life to do good and help people. Sometimes all it takes is a kind word or just being there to help save lives."

I left him thinking about that while dealing with a troll problem with Prue and Phoebe. I told the girls about Halloween and that Prue would make her decision then. Soon enough dead Grimlocks showed up and the girls were sucked into the past. I destroyed the Grimlocks before Darryl, Leo and I waited for the sisters to get back or for me to be unmade.

When they came back through the portal, I sighed in relief and Prue took the sword handle I offered. A dark storm of power was pulled from her into the blade. The crystal green black and red fast as so much dark power was taken in that it began to vibrate. When it stopped, I took it back and told her that for what it's worth, I was sorry she had to make that decision.

She rolled her eyes and told me I was paying child support. I sighed and held out a ball of fire. Curious, she touched it before taking it and crushing it in her hand. She sighed. "Great, I'm probably immortal and invincible now too. I need to shower."

I didn't say a word as Phoebe asked me why I'd done that back then. I shrugged. "I don't really know. I knew you three weren't from my time because I heard a demon that looked like Cole tell the dark witch that you threw had come through, sent by the elders. I sent Cole back to this time when he tried to target you because I wanted you for myself and incinerated the dark witch. The rest was dark desire and you weren't in the mood so I'd gone to Prue who smelled like she wanted and needed a man. Creepy, I know, but I was mostly demon back then and I've changed."

Phoebe rubbed my back and sighed, setting her head against my chest. "I know you have sweetie."

Weeks later I was holding Prue's hair as the morning sickness started. The pregnancy was faster than expected, but Prue appeared to be only immune to fire. She was irked that invincibility wasn't in the package, but fire starting and immunity definitely was it seems. Still, she was less angry with me and more frustrated with the lack of invulnerability as well as the morning sickness.

When someone broke into the manor and injured Saffron, she sent out a message telepathically and I called the police, whirling us home. We caught Abbey stealing Prue's things and I disarmed the gun from her, calling for an ambulance. Saffron was shot and dying so I had to perform emergency surgery on the kitchen table. Once I got the bullet out, I gave her a healing pill.

When the cops walked in to see me scrubbing blood off my hands, Prue told them that the bitch tied up shot our nanny when she was caught going through her stuff. She explained who I was and that I'd had to perform emergency surgery to save Saffron's life. I gestured to the bullet and the gun telling them Saffron would be fine since I gave her a healing pill, but she still needed to be taken to the hospital for blood loss to get an IV transfusion. The paramedics came in and took her unconscious body from the table.

I told them everything medically necessary including what I'd done and given her before they took her away. I had to stay and give my statement to the cops while Phoebe held Patience and Prue threw up. Phoebe told them not to worry about Prue because she was just pregnant. They took Abbey away and took the gun with the bloody bullet in separate bags.

We all spent the night at the hospital as Saffron recovered and I thanked her for saving Patience who'd been Abbey's target. Sure Patience could make a forcefield, but that was on reflex only and a bullet wasn't something I wanted her to test that on. The cops got Saffron's full statement and Abbey was doomed. Even if she went to the nut house she wasn't going to have it easy thanks to the attempted baby murder.