HAUNTED BY THE PAST

His eyes shot open and for a split second you could see the fear and fragility he always kept hidden. But just as fast, it disappeared as if it wasn't there. His eyes hardening to steel but his heart still ached. He hated it. He hated having to take deep breaths to calm down. He hated the way his heart was beating so hard his ribcage felt congested. He hated it all. But mostly, he hated the fact that that particular memory was still fresh in his mind like it had just happened the day before.

He had been called in for the debriefing by his brother, well, they were not blood related but familial bonds were much less significant to him than the bond he shared with this particular human. No, he was just among his favorite human beings, so he preferred to refer to him as brother. As he rounded the corner to his brother's office, he saw the ever smiling secret agent who was supposed to be on an undercover mission half way across the earth walking towards him. He smiled brighter and he groaned hoping to be ignored with a simple greeting. Luck was not on his side. Much less with the information that he was given. H couldn't remember much else but one statement rang out loud and clear in his head, "Noah is still alive."

As much as it was relief to get the news, he felt a familiar yet strangely unrecognizable pang of pain in his heart. As the only other time his heart recognized that pain was at the news of his death. "ha!" he breathed out in an attempt to get his thoughts in check. Rather than expressing the pain, he let out a laugh so loud his co-worker got startled. His maniacal laugh left chills in those that heard it. He tried to keep the pain at bay. Crying is a sign of weakness, he chanted over and over in his head but still.....nature demanded he show his pain and soon his laughter was replaced by a heart wrenching scream of pain as tears flooded down his cheeks.

"ah shit! Why does this have to happen in front of that sorry excuse of a human?" was all he could think. His body was working against him. And it surprised him because this is the most emotion he had been able to show in years. Looking up to the ceiling in an effort to get hid act together and redeem his reputation, he let out a small laugh..."it's better that he gets to live a much better life now", he says softly more to himself than the guy standing beside him. Looking down, he breathes in and stands up, his legs cave for a moment and he has to brace himself against the wall. He looks ahead and sees his brother standing a few feet in front of him.

"you knew?" he asked softly knowing he could be heard in the silent hallway.

"I guess they got to you before I could tell you", he answered as he turned around. "Let's talk in my office", he spoke as he started on his way knowing Rael would follow him. Sighing, he pushed himself off the wall, swept his hand through his hair in frustration and followed his brother in silence.

"I hope you enjoyed the show", he said softly to the coworker who had told him the news. "it might be the last thing you enjoy in this life", he said as he turned slightly to smile at him. It has nothing short of an innocent smile but the look in his eyes spoke volumes, a dark madness stirring within those onyx eyes. And at that moment the co-worker, knew he fucked up.

Rael slammed the door shut behind him the moment they both entered his brother's office. "how long?" he asked in a voice dripping with malice but also if one were to notice it at all, there was also hurt....he sounded broken and betrayed. He stood there rooted to the spot by the door, not moving an inch, still waiting for his brother to start giving reasons for why he didn't tell him about this or how the fuck Noah was still alive.