The Meaning of Death: A Doctor's Past (2/2)

Margaret POV:

"...Why do you look after me?"

I shifted my gaze away from the medical book I had been studying. It was a book that I had completely memorized already, but sometimes it was nice to reread things. I needed to know if there was anything I might have missed, anything that would draw me closer to solving this unexplainable feeling in my chest.

"I owe your parents this much..."

Sebastian stared outside the window; his eyes full of sadness and loss. Some time passed by, but I remained silent. He turned his head slowly, looking at me with those melancholic eyes while his eyebrows quivered.

'Don't look at me like that.'

I clenched my teeth as I devoted my full attention to the book laid out on the desk.

'I know it was you... I know you're the one who killed my parents!'

My hands balled into fists before unravelling gradually. I took a deep breath and regained my composure.

'That's right. I don't hate you.'

We spent the rest of the evening together until I was ready to leave. He offered to walk me home, but I declined. Sebastian may be my guardian now; however, he didn't intrude in my life, nor did he force me to do anything I didn't want to do.

I opened the door to my apartment and was greeted with a smell many would regard as foul, but to me, it was beautiful. My feet stopped in the short passageway, gazing at the two long white coats hanging from the wall.

I grabbed one of them and slipped my hands through the sleeves. I made my way into the bedroom, quickly peeling away the quilt that covered the best parents a daughter could ever ask for.

Their faces were slightly rotten, and maggots fed on their flesh. I stroked their faces lightly before embracing them both.

"I'm home."

They had died with a smile on their face, which was still present now, despite the decaying state of their bodies. They were two of the best doctors in District 4, yet I didn't understand what caused them to die with that kind of... Happiness.

Every time I looked at their faces, this strange feeling in my chest grew. People told me they had died for something greater. Others said they died saving patients, valuing the lives of others more than their own—it was wrong. They were wrong.

My parents saw something during their last moments; they had discovered some sort of truth that released them of their struggles here. What parent would die with a smile while leaving their only daughter behind? The masses didn't understand, but I knew my parents well.

After their deaths, I didn't mourn. Instead, I devoted myself to adding more knowledge to the extensive library in my head. There had to be something that I was missing. There had to be some sort of answer to the dilemma I was facing.

"Margaret, you up for some training today? The little ladies miss having their older sister around."

Sebastian tried to be more cheerful than usual as we met at the daily scheduled time. I recalled babysitting Jasmine and Ness while narrowing my eyes. I opened my mouth, about to decline, when a thought suddenly occurred to me.

'Shin...'

The Ki Stage that allowed one to create a unique ability. An ability... Perhaps that was what I was missing.

"...How long will it take me to reach Shin?"

Sebastian's eyebrows furrowed while he examined me closely. I wasn't sure what was going through his mind, because I was already planning out just what kind of ability I would create.

"A few months if you work hard. You have your parents' talent, and you're already at the stage of upper Uso."

"Then let's start right away."

I got up from the desk and closed the medical book I was reading. Sebastian stared at me for a few moments but didn't say anything in the end. He walked on ahead while I finished tidying up, as the corners of my mouth rose.

***

I sat down on the bed that had been died a blackish colour and shifted my gaze to my parents. The muscles that once showed their expressions clearly had been mostly eaten away, revealing parts of the skull beneath it in several places.

"I'm home."

I pulled them both into a hug while more sacks of their flesh dropped to the bed. For the past few months, I had trained intensely with Sebastian, and eventually, I broke through to Shin. My lips curved into a wide smile as I rubbed what was left of their backs gently.

"I now know why you both were smiling~"

***

I manipulated the air, slowing my descent towards the ground as Sebastian dashed into my vision in a panic. Jasmine and Ness turned the corner a few seconds later with tears in their eyes while they stared at me.

Death's Love was already active, and Love's Time only needed a few more minutes to be complete. It was a shame that the number of targets wasn't as much as I would like, but it was a start: they would be freed first.

"Margaret! Stop this now!"

Sebastian roared at me while my lips curved into a wide smile.

"Stop? Why would I do that? Shin made me realize the truth. It gave me the answer I had been seeking."

I peered down at them from above.

"This isn't the world of the living, but the dead. These husks of flesh merely serve to trap and torment our souls. Death is the only way to be free."

I watched Sebastian's eyes visibly shake as he stared at me.

"My parents died with a smile on their faces because they understood this. They understood that Death is the ultimate form of Love. So I'll free everyone from this hell!"

My pupils dilated as I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. I knew I was right. Only I understood what this place was, why the suffering could never end... Only I could solve it!

"Big Sis!!"

Jasmine and Ness ran towards me with tears in their eyes. My eyebrows crumpled together as I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

"Sis?"

I pointed my finger towards Sebastian, who was frozen in place.

"That man was the one responsible for killing my parents."

His body trembled while Jasmine and Ness abruptly stopped running. They shifted their gaze to Sebastian, then back to me. I observed the confusion and the fear that washed over their faces.

"!"

Ness bit down on her lip and charged forward with her small hand outstretched towards me.

"Big Sis! Don't go!"

Jasmine chased after her while calling out to me, causing my vision to become blurry. Tears pooled at the sides of my eyes against my will as I ignored their cries. I saw the Bombs of Life strapped to their hearts and wavered.

'...I will save you both.'

I stretched out my hand towards the sky when Sebastian bolted in front of Jasmine and Ness.

"I'm sorry, Veronica. I won't be able to keep my promise to you."

His Ki exploded, pushing me down to the ground while he leapt into the air.

"Red Mist: Absolute Dissolution."

He fanned his fingers and coughed up blood that turned into a cloud of dark red smoke. It shot forward, reaching all of the targets in a blink of an eye.

I instinctively glanced towards Love's Time as I felt the number of Bombs of Life rapidly decrease.

'!'

I gazed at the timer in confusion. The clock hand repeatedly moved back and forth, inches away from 12 O'clock but never reaching it. It refused to go any further, as if it were restricted by something beyond what Sebastian was doing.

'...He... He's using his own life as a fuel for his ability...'

My knees buckled while Sebastian smiled at me through painful eyes. Love's Time disintegrated, and my ability was forcefully cancelled against my will. The Bombs of Life were erased, leaving me with a feeling of emptiness.

I stared at Sebastian, who fell to the ground, bleeding heavily as Jasmine and Ness supported him. They looked at me with eyes of love and sadness... They looked at me like a family member while I slowly stumbled backwards.

'...I'm not wrong. You just don't understand, even though you should...'

I turned around and ran. I ran without ever looking back, and somehow, once I came to my senses, I had made it all the way to District 1.

I slumped my back against the wall and let out a deep sigh. I ran my hand through my hair as I regained my composure.

"Fine. I'll start again."

***

"I heard that you're an incredible doctor."

I placed my hand on my hip as the Ruler's gaze swept over me.

'...I barely managed to nurse a couple of patients before being found out...'

I clicked my tongue when the woman standing by his side immediately glared at me. Her Ki erupted, shaking the entire area violently as cold sweat dripped down my back.

"How dare yo—"

The Ruler raised his hand, and the woman instantly bowed her head. Her Ki vanished abruptly while the Ruler peered down at me with fierce eyes.

"Explain yourself."

I felt several powerful Ki practitioners turn their attention towards me; I couldn't lie here. I explained everything in detail, about my plan, my goal and about the true meaning of life. The more I spoke, the more I got lost in the fact that I knew the truth.

"I understand."

'What? Really?'

My eyes lit up as I observed the Ruler carefully. His expression hadn't changed once despite everything I had told him, so it was hard to get a read on what was going through his head.

"Where there is light, there must be darkness. Inner Astril casts its shadow over us. They oppress us, restrict our economy, and give us an allowance like beggars on the street. If we try to escape this prison, they strike us down at the border.

At the same time, they corrupt this place further, moving behind the scenes in order to create more suffering and despair. I will break the system because I am a King made to do so."

'...What a load of rubbish. Your hands are just as dirty as theirs.'

I had seen the way this man ruled, and he was no king.

"Become a Royal Guard, hone your ability and go back to District 4. Go back and be patient. Wait for the perfect opportunity to arrive and liberate your people."

My eyes beamed at his words. Sebastian had the power to cancel my ability, so that was the first issue that needed to be solved. He wouldn't chase after me here, so I had time on my side.

'This time... I'll be patient.'

"Yes, my king."

I dropped down to one knee while my lips rose.

***

As expected, I was put under tight surveillance, only allowed to nurse patients that were on death's door. I watched tens of people die daily as they grabbed hold of my hands and thanked me. They thanked me for trying my best to save them, for staying by their side when they were thrown away like trash... They thanked me for caring about them.

"Doctor... Thank you..."

I observed a woman who had been fighting hard for the past month use the last of her strength to clasp my hand. Her last breath escaped her lips, slowly drifting up towards the ceiling.

'...'

I stared at the blood on my hands and all over my clothes. I closed her still eyes and sat down on the chair beside the bed. My head slumped forward as tears involuntarily rolled down my cheeks.

"...You're free now... You don't need to suffer anymore..."

More time passed, and eventually, my restraints loosened. I ended up meeting Lissandra before sneaking back into District 4.

From there, my plan began.

***

"Read it."

Sebastian handed me the letter, not waiting for me to make a choice. I gently took it out of his hand and undid the bow plastered to the back of the envelope. My trembling fingers unfolded the piece of paper, revealing its contents within.

"To our beloved daughter,

How old are you now? Are you still eating well? Have you become the doctor you always dreamed of being? We... We have so many questions, but our voices can't reach you beyond the grave. We know that we will probably die soon.

Some people may call Sebastian, our good friend, selfish, but they can't see the bigger picture. A revolution can be quelled, but the fire it has lit will serve as a light for future generations. It will be a reminder that someone tried and failed, so you try and succeed.

Just as a doctor learns from their studies and fellow colleagues, so will people learn from past attempts at changing situations bigger than ourselves. Please don't hate him for it. He may not be blood-related, but he is family. This may seem unreasonable to ask, but please...

Comfort him.

Tell him to stop blaming himself and be strong.

As for you, our lovely daughter, your love for life is unquestionable, but don't let it consume you. A doctor isn't someone who saves others, but someone who supports their patient to the end using every method they can. So, at the very least, that patient can pass on with a smile, knowing that we did everything we could for them.

Remember this: We love you, Margaret.

From,

Your beloved parents."

The paper shook violently in front of me as tears gushed out of my eyes. I clenched my teeth; my bloodshot eyes staring at Sebastian's back.

"...Ridiculous. This is ridiculous!"

I roared while getting to my feet. I ripped the letter in half as rays of light shone through the torn paper. I watched it fall to the ground and stretched out my hand towards the sky.

"A doctor's job isn't to save? Comfort you for your selfish decisions? You honestly think I'd believe that load of rubbish?!"

I screamed as the tears showed no signs of stopping. Sebastian glanced at me with sadness in his eyes, causing my eyebrows to quiver.

'Family...'

"Bomb of Life!!"

I ignored it. I ignored all of it and activated my technique. I'll save everyone properly this time. I clenched my fingers tightly as the bombs exploded all across the district.

"!"

I dropped to my knees as Sebastian's eyes widened in shock. I shifted my gaze to the torn letter before staring at the quiet blue sky above.

It's done.