Chapter 10 "You Don't Need to Act This Way"

For seventeen years, Lu Heyang had heard all kinds of insults.

For example, when he was kidnapped by human traffickers who lured him away from playing ball alone downstairs with a piece of fruit candy wrapped in shiny paper, they cursed him while whipping him with a spiked wooden stick, calling him worthless, an unwanted child. His foster father would say he never smiled, that he was heartless, and even went as far as to say he looked like a girl and was destined to sell his body. But none of those words could compare to Lu Xun's "troublemaker" or "you look like a quail."

These were merely childish taunts between teenagers, nothing truly vicious, and even a bit petulant. But while Lu Heyang had learned to distance himself from the pain when others insulted him, to discern what was real and what was not, he lost that ability when it came to Lu Xun.

Lu Heyang didn't remember how he pushed through the crowd to leave the skating rink. His whole body felt as though it had been drenched in sweat, only to have the chill dried by the sun, which then seeped back into him anew.

Lu Xun's bike was already gone, leaving only a tire mark in the dirt where it had been parked. Lu Heyang stepped on it and ground his heel into the earth, flattening it.

It was dinner time, and the streets were bustling with cars and people, yet Lu Heyang felt as though there was nothing around him.

In that moment, he suddenly realized that Lu Xun's seemingly friendly invitation was probably just a way to show off his superiority. Lu Xun had money for entertainment, knew how to skate, and played soccer—things that Lu Heyang should have been enjoying, all of which had been lavished on Lu Xun instead.

He just wanted to pity him, to see how ridiculous he looked knowing nothing, and then, when his patience wore thin, to mock him and belittle him.

That night, Lu Heyang developed a high fever, spiking to 40 degrees, and was rushed to the hospital.

When Lu Bingwen found out that Lu Xun had taken Lu Heyang out to mess around, he severely reprimanded Lu Xun. For the next few days, while Lu Heyang was bedridden, Lu Xun didn't appear before him.

When Lu Heyang recovered and returned to school, his relationship with Lu Xun had returned to square one. But from his perspective, there wasn't much worth regretting.

He continued to play the role of the obedient and well-behaved older brother, no longer holding out any hope, merely maintaining a nominal relationship.

At least he had a place, an education, food on the table, and a normal life.

For these things, he willingly remained ignorant and indifferent.

Lu Heyang walked into the classroom, placed his bag down as usual, and while organizing the scattered worksheets on his desk, he felt a letter. It was pale pink, addressed to him in small, delicate handwriting.

He opened it—it was a love letter.

It was from the girl he had accidentally knocked over that day, named Meng Fanyi.

Meng Fanyi naturally knew that the collision was unintentional, just an accident, but Lu Heyang had apologized in front of everyone, saving her from embarrassment. Additionally, with his good looks and reputation as a top student, she began to develop feelings for him.

Lu Heyang stuffed the letter into his drawer and ignored it.

After that, a new letter would arrive every week, like snowflakes finding their way into his desk.

Later, Gou Erdan found out about it and felt utterly humiliated, as if he had been given a massive green hat to wear. First, he let the air out of Lu Heyang's bike tires, and then he went further, threatening to break one of Lu Heyang's arms.

Lu Heyang treated it like a joke, continuing to go to and from school alone.

Strangely enough, by the second half of their junior year, the matter seemed to fizzle out. Lu Heyang had always assumed it was because Meng Fanyi had lost interest and Gou Erdan had found something else to amuse himself with, never considering that it might have been because Lu Xun had gone to fight Gou Erdan.

Few people knew about this; even Cheng Dongxu was kept in the dark.

In truth, Lu Xun didn't fully understand why he did it either.

Perhaps it was because Gou Erdan had said that Lu Heyang was just a pretty face, someone who sold his body. He also said that breaking an arm was nothing, that he would make sure Lu Heyang couldn't stay in school.

When Lu Xun slammed Gou Erdan into the mud, pounding his smug face, when Gou Erdan kicked him in the shoulder, when they grappled, rolling on the ground, tasting blood in their mouths, Lu Xun seemed to suddenly understand—he didn't care whether Lu Heyang knew what he had done for him.

He simply wanted anyone who dared to harm or slander his brother to be thoroughly punished, inside and out.

But if Lu Heyang had been more inquisitive, he could have found out.

That evening, when Lu Xun returned with bruises on his face, a purple patch at the corner of his mouth, a swollen temple, and a bleeding cut on his cheek, it was a rare sight, even for someone like him.

Lu Heyang, who was about to cook, stood at the kitchen door holding the rice cooker, watching as Lu Xun, covered in mud and grime, slung his jacket over his shoulder with a hook of his finger and walked past him, slamming the door shut behind him.

A moment later, Lu Xun heard a knock on his door—three times, two light and one heavy, polite yet distant. Lu Xun ignored it and yanked off his dirty T-shirt over his head.

The knocking persisted, stubbornly indicating that the person wouldn't leave without a response.

Annoyed, Lu Xun yanked the door open with a swish, blocking the entrance to his room.

"What do you want?"

Lu Heyang, caught off guard, still had his hand raised to knock, which landed directly on Lu Xun's bare chest.

"S-sorry."

From the point where his knuckles touched, warmth began to spread. They had never worn split pants together, never bathed together, never slept in the same bed. They were strangers to each other's bodies. Instinctively, Lu Heyang lowered his gaze, avoiding looking at the body in front of him.

Even though he had everything Lu Xun had, their bodies were still different. Lu Xun's muscles held strength, his bones not yet fully developed but his muscles already sharply defined, with visible bruises on his shoulder blades.

"I brought some herbal oil and band-aids," Lu Heyang said. "I won't ask what you did outside. You don't need to be so defensive around me."

Lu Xun was exasperated. He had expected the other to ask a few more questions, and he might have modestly taken credit, but it turned out the other didn't care at all.

"Mom and Dad aren't here, you don't need to act this way," Lu Xun said coldly as he took the herbal oil.

"If you don't want it, forget it."

Lu Xun shifted the herbal oil to his other hand, avoiding Lu Heyang's attempt to take it back, and then left the door open.

"Come in."

Lu Heyang looked at him strangely.

"Help me apply the herbal oil."

Lu Xun sat on the edge of the bed, raising his face with a smirk. Whenever he wore that expression, Lu Heyang knew he was brewing some wicked plan, like a black flower about to bear black fruit.

"Aren't you supposed to be a good big brother? You wouldn't refuse such a small request, would you?"

Gritting his teeth, Lu Heyang stepped into Lu Xun's room.