Between Life and Death

Death was pitch black.

I couldn't put my finger on it or prove it exactly, but I definitely felt like I was moving. And, like the dilemma about whether I was dead or not, I didn't really know if it was me or my surroundings that were in motion. The amount of information I was trying to process made my head hurt. Wait a second, head? I thought I was dead. If I still had the ability to feel discomfort, that must be a clear sign that I was alive!

The party soon stopped when I remembered how my right hand looked. Even though I didn't know whether I had a mouth or not, I still felt like vomiting. The image of charred flesh jump scared me every time I closed my eyes. Wait, I have eyes? What and where am I? Did Chloe manage to get a firefighter to save me? Did they manage to put out the fires just as I was losing consciousness?

No, I definitely died. That much is true. Maybe this depressing void of black nothingness is the afterlife; so the atheists were right, it is just a black void. Well, at least I died a hero. At least, that's what I think. To some, my death will seem pretty stupid; jumping recklessly into a burning building isn't really the smartest of moves. Then again, I saved my sister's life. If I didn't step in, she would have died before the firefighters and cops even got to her. A life for a life, what a cruel world.

I remember learning about Buddhism in history class and the belief in reincarnation. I wasn't super religious, but boy if this reincarnation business was real, I hope I'm reincarnated as a handsome 6'4" dude with great genes. Hell, maybe this dark void was just the reception hall to the reincarnation.

"You're right, this is a reception hall! Looks like you mind's intact from the transfer after all!"

The actual hell? Who was that?! And how can they hear my personal thoughts? Wait, can dead people even think or is it...

The voice felt infinite and all-encompassing, like even my very soul could hear it. I guess this was the god of death or something? Checkmate atheists, I guess gods really do exist.

"Well, you're not really thinking, you're just shouting...really loudly..."

...who are you?

"Psssh, you don't have to know all of that..." the entity dodged the question. "Anyways, welcome to Limbo!"

Limbo?

"Yes, Limbo!" the entity seemed to have a very grandiose personality, as every word they said had an oomph to it. From the sound of it, their voice seemed to be a cross between masculine and feminine, so it was hard to pin a specific gender. "This is the passageway between worlds, where souls are judged based on their karma,"

Karma? Like how many good deeds I did over the course of my life?

The entity seemed like it was trying to stifle an uncontrollable laugh at my statement, and boy if I still had a human body, I would cover my head in shame right now. It seemed I asked a question so stupid it made a primordial deity nearly burst out laughing.

"You're funny, sir." the deity said, the sound of it's voice made it seem like it just finished laughing internally. "If all people had to do to get reincarnated in a good life was help thousands of old ladies, we'd basically be handing out freebies!"

We? There are others like you?

The deity seemed to the flustered at my intuition and stayed quiet for a while. Did I ask a question I wasn't supposed to...or did I accidentally catch on to a big secret that this deity wasn't supposed to reveal...

"Y-You're a sharp one," the deity said. "Gotta watch my words around you, though you'll know soon anyways,"

What?

"A-Anyways, enough chit-chat! Time to evaluate your karma!"

It felt like someone was reaching a hand into my very soul and firmly grasped it, basically it felt like pins and needles on my very existence. The deity really wanted to get a feel of my soul by the way they were touching it. Finally, after a while, the feeling subsided and the deity's hand stopped touching my soul.

"This can't be..." the deity exclaimed breathlessly. "There's just no way..."

My stupid ass floated like a dumbass waiting for my evaluation while the death god murmured to itself in disbelief. You know how I said the death god's voice felt all-encompassing? Yeah, even his whispers felt like mini pins and needles on my soul.

After a while of schizophrenic-level whispers, I started getting worried. I wasn't THAT bad in life, right? I mean, I'd say I was a pretty chill dude. I tried not to cause trouble, and always paid my respects. Or maybe the death god was awestruck by my brave sacrifice to save my sister, that or he's laughing his ass off.

Finally, I had the balls to ask what was wrong. "Anything wrong over there...?"

A brief silence followed before the deity spoke again. "It seems like you are what we- I CALL- a special existence..."

Special existence? What's so special about me, is my karma too low or too high?

The deity took a deep breath. "...actually, it's perfectly balanced...and I mean PERFECTLY! It's as if you were static your whole life!"

That felt like both a compliment and a slap to the face at the same time.

So what does this mean? Am I not going to neither Heaven or Hell?

The deity chuckled nervously. "Well, people who were terrible in their past life get reincarnated into Hell and have to fight their way out and pass a series of trials to better themselves; meanwhile, people who were good people get reincarnated into Heaven and must help out the world to keep said status,"

...and since I have a perfect balance of both, what happens to me?

"Lemme think..." the deity said. The silence of the void was loud enough, and I heard them murmur a few times before the spoke again. "Well, I reached a conclusion,"

Wow, that was fast...what's the conclusion?

"Congratulations, Ezra Christopher Martin," he announced as a loud noise began to fill the void. "You're about to become the first of your kind!"

W-WHAT?! Wait, can you explain more please?!

The loud crackling and hum began getting louder and louder as the void began bleeding white; I was getting reincarnated.

"No time to explain, we already spent too long in here!" the deity said. "But don't worry, I'll be reincarnating with you!"

WAIT! DID MY SISTER COME THROUGH HERE?! MAYBE AN ASIAN GUY?!

By now, the white energy had completely swallowed the void and a bright light was shone onto my face.

"Pssh, don't worry about them," the deity said. "Now onwards to a new life!"

I have a feeling I wouldn't get used to this.

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I woke up the sounds of a wilderness; birds chirping, the sound of rushing water, and most importantly, the sun beating down on me. A beautiful serene forest was laid out in front of me, and I watched nature in all it's glory.

I could feel, know, sense, and hear everything everything: it was something akin to near omniscience. It felt like I was both drunk and high at the same time, the intense euphoria that flooded my consciousness. If I had a mouth, I'd be moaning with pleasure right about now.

"Snap out of it!" a loud and familiar voice rang in my head.

"W-What?! Why are you still here?!"

The deity seemed pissed that I had forgotten about it. "I said I would tag along," it screamed. "But beside that, don't give in the euphoria!"

"Why? It feels so good..."

It was pleasure beyond my wildest imagination; better than anything I ever felt as a human. I felt so whole, so free, I could feel anything I ever wanted to feel all at once whenever I want. All I had to do was close my eyes and give in...

"NEVER EVER GIVE IN TO THAT EUPHORIA, YOU HEAR ME?!"

I was quickly dragged from my state of high-intensity euphoria to the real world, and I felt as if I was just awoken from a spell.

"W-What just happened...?"

The deity sighed. "That's the Lure of Death, never EVER think about going into that state again, you hear me?"

"What's the Lure of Death?"

"It goes by many names: The Call of Death, the Lie of Entropy, the Spirit State, but what it does remains the same: kill your consciousness."

My mind raced to make sense of this knowledge. The Lure of Death appeared to be a dangerous temptation, a siren song that offered incomparable pleasure and knowledge at the risk of losing one's entire self. It was a state that might enslave even the most disciplined mind.

Questions whirled through my mind like leaves caught in a gale. What was the personality of this divinity who had forewarned me? Why had it decided to accompany me on this journey, and why did it appear to be so concerned about my safety?

"Well, how do I defend against it?"

"Simple, simply become stronger. The Lure of Death only calls out to weak spirits, so simply get stronger and it'll go away."

"Wait, spirits? Plural? You're saying I'm not the first of my kind?"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! When I said first of your kind, I meant you are the first spirit than can get stronger! Most spirits are shards of consciousness that eventually fall for the Lure of Death. They're not really anything special so the people of this world don't really see them as valuable."

Realization hit me like a truck: all this time I was speaking to a god about something one could find in a fantasy game or novel, but I never once stopped to think about it...

"Hey deathgod, we're on Earth right...?"

The deity laughed in my head, a really bad sign. "You still think we're in your world? Nah, sorry to inform you but we're not in your world-"

"We're in the Overworld."

"The Overworld?! What the hell are you talking about? What is this place?!"

Everything didn't make sense anymore. I looked down at myself, and saw that my body had changed to fit the appearance of a glowing ball of energy. I didn't have feet, nor hands, nor any recognizable human trait: I was just a simple ball of light.

"W-What happened to me..."

The deity sighed. "I see your information relay needs some work," he said. "In any case it's as I said, you are a spirit now and this is your spiritual form. Since you're a low-level basic intelligence, your body cannot materialize properly hence why you are just a ball of light. Another factor is your karmic levels, they are simply too low for you to even take form. There are other factors too, but let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"Wait, what do you mean 'other factors'? My mind isn't processing things right..." I thought. "Um...what are you going to do with me?"

"...what do you mean by that?"

"...is this punishment or something? You know, because I'm only an 'low-level spirit', am I considered evil in this world?"

"Not at all! Of course you won't! This isn't punishment, it's more of...well, how do I put this in the non-harshest way I can..." I could hear him mutter about something, bits of his internal dialogue echoing through my head. "You've just been...well, abandoned..."

Abandoned...

"No!" I protested. That couldn't be right! My thoughts were jumbled, it seemed like every single part of my life was wrong. This was so confusing! Why did everything seem to go wrong at every turn?! Can something just go right for me for once!

"What do you mean abandoned? What have I done to deserve being abandoned?!"

"Woah woah, cool your jets!" the deity said. "Maybe I used the wrong analogy, you aren't abandoned, the world and I just didn't know what to do with you! Like I explained, you have a perfect balance between evil and virtuic karma, so we couldn't send you to Hel or Heaven! If we sent you to either one, it would throw off the balance of the spiritual world!"

Spiritual balance? Heaven and Hell? Evil and Virtuic Karma? What the hell is even karma? My head hurt, my mind reeling from all these concepts. How does the fact that I am supposedly the balance of evil and good relate to my current situation? Am I supposed to do anything with this new found knowledge? I mean, how could I possibly help myself in this state.

It was all too much, I couldn't process it all. I didn't want to think about this anymore, I wanted someone else to just make all these thoughts make sense...

〔SUCCESS! SUBJECT HAS ATTAINED SKILLS: 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗢𝗥, 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗢𝗔𝗗, 𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧, 𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥, 𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗡, 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬!〕

...the hell?

"Well, I'll be... I didn't think you'd get one this early, let alone six of 'em!"

〔ALERT! SUBJECT HAS ACQUIRED UNIQUE SKILL: 𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗖𝗘〕

"HAHA, NO WAY!"

I had no idea what was going on. Suddenly a loud autonomous noise just started blaring alerts in my head saying that I had acquired something, but I don't know what it was talking about. I tried asking for an explanation, but apparently I wasn't able to speak at this point, at least, not very well. I kept trying to explain to the deity, to find out what exactly had happened, but I received no answer.

〔ALERT: WOULD YOU LIKE TO MERGE SKILLS 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗢𝗥, 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗢𝗔𝗗, 𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧, 𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥, 𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗡, 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬?〕

This was why. Apparently I can't speak while this thing is going off in my head, and I can only speak if it's asking me a question. Anyways, what even are these 'skills'? Is this a game? By any means, nothing bad comes out from merging stuff right? Can't hurt.

〔𝘶𝘩𝘩...𝘺𝘦𝘴?〕

〔ACTION CONFIRMED! MERGING SKILLS ⟲...〕

I really hope I made the right choice...

〔SUCESS! SKILLS 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗢𝗥, 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗢𝗔𝗗, 𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧, 𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥, 𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗡, 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬 HAVE BEEN MERGED TO CREATE THE UNIQUE SKILL 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗨𝗧𝗘𝗥! WOULD YOU LIKE TO MERGE 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗨𝗧𝗘𝗥 WITH SKILL 𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗖𝗘?〕

〔𝘺𝘦𝘴...?〕

〔ACTION CONFIRMED! MERGING SKILLS ⟲...〕

I wonder what skill I got from that...

〔SUCESS! SKILLS 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗨𝗧𝗘𝗥 AND 𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗖𝗘 HAVE BEEN COMBINED TO CREATE THE RARE SKILL 𝗦𝗨𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗨𝗧𝗘𝗥〕

"WHAAAAAAAT?!" the deity screamed. If this robot voice wasn't keeping me from talking, I would've gave this loudmouth god a piece of my mind!

〔SKILL ACQUISITION COMPLETE〕

Now I can talk.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SCREAMING INTO MY EAR FOR, DAMNIT!!"

God, I have got to find a way to get this guy out of my head. It's like having a college roommate stuck to you 24/7, the kind of obnoxiously loud roommate that would just couldn't keep his mouth shut and screamed at his monitor when he lost a video game match.

"S-Sorry, I'm really sorry," he apologized. "I just didn't expect you to get a skill this powerful already,"

Honestly, I could see where he's coming from. But I still didn't understand what the full extent of these 'skills' were?

〔NOTE: A skill is a learned mastery of the body and world made reality that can be learned or passed down through beings. Skills range from breathing and running to having the ability to alter space and time to a being's will. However, the more powerful and world-altering a skill; the more karma a being will accumulate whether evil or virtuic〕

Wow thanks for the rundown, Siri. The last part caught my attention though: the more powerful and world-altering a skill is, the more karma a person would accumulate? Since my skill is called an 'Rare' skill, the only guess would to say it's definitely something world-altering. Meaning, I would receive a huge amount of karma by wielding it; throwing off my perfect karmic balance...

"Whatever you're thinking of, it's probably correct," the deity said in a serious tone, something I've never heard him speak in until now. "Luckily, the skill 𝗦𝗨𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗨𝗧𝗘𝗥 has neutral karmic force seeing as it only gives the user near-omni-science,"

"W-Wait, really-"

"But listen to me closely," the deity finally started acting like a deity, his voice all boom and echoey. "No matter what, you can never EVER use an evil or virtuic skill. You're probably aware, but if you use any of these types of skills, it'll throw off your extremely delicate karmic balance and send you to either spiritual realm,"

I had already made that assessment in my head, but hearing him confirm it made it all the more terrifying. It's also probably going to be hard to get stronger, as I don't know how often I'm going to come across skills with neutral energy. And knowing how tough it was getting an evil or virtuic one, I wouldn't want to screw myself over.

"R-Right, of course. Good advice," I said. "But about my skill, you said it gave me near omniscience?"

〔NOTE: The Rare Skill 𝗦𝗨𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗨𝗧𝗘𝗥 is one of few Rare Wisdom skills with the power to rival a Supreme Skill. The skill allows the user to speed up their thought process to near infinity, split one's mind to handle other tasks, as well as an artificial consciousness that answers any question they might have〕

Wow, it's like having a Google Search engine directly in my head; not to mention it's also a huge exposition dumper, isn't it?

I sighed. "Yeah, this skill is way too powerful for me," I said. "What am I even supposed to do with it?"

"What do you mean 'what am I supposed to do', there's only one thing you can do," the deity said. "Listen, as a low-tier spirit you're going to be hunted down by other high level spirit for your consciousness as well as your spiritual essence; so there really is only one thing you can do."

He's right. There's only thing I can do if I want to search for Tsagi and my little sister.

"Training." I said.