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Kaguya-sama Wants My Surrender!

By accident, Amamiya became a participant in a bizarre real-life escape game. He soon discovered that he could see prompts hovering over both the monsters and his fellow players. And so… things started to feel a bit off. In the Ghost Academy, during a game of "statue," a ghostly girl on the playground looked at him with tear-filled eyes: "Don't come any closer!" In the Horror Canteen: "Dear student, you’ve wasted food. I demand hush money." In the Devil's Examination Room: "Is it wrong to bribe the evil ghost teacher with cash?" Amamiya could also motivate his teammates. [Player: Kaguya Shinomiya] [Status: Crouching and trembling] [Prompt: Please use the following methods to boost your teammate’s morale.] Amamiya sighed. "Shinomiya, can you please show a little more spirit? Did you not eat?" "…"

IamNoob · Anime und Comics
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103 Chs

Chapter 47: Not a Single Drop Left

"Human, playing dumb won't help you…" 

The cow lady spirit smirked menacingly, but before she could fully enjoy the moment, she realized something was wrong. Her mouth began moving against her will, as if compelled by some mysterious force: 

"… Don is here!" 

Wait, what's happening? Why is my mouth moving on its own? And who is this Don? 

Alarmed, she clapped a hand over her mouth and cautiously retreated half a step. "Human, what have you done to me?"

"We're actually undercover agents," Amamiya said, stepping forward with purpose. "Three long years of investigation, and today, we've finally caught you, the infamous criminal Don."

The cow lady spirit, confused and indignant, stammered, "But I'm not—Don is here!"

As Amamiya continued his approach, unfazed, he even reached out to touch her. Furious, the cow lady bared her jagged teeth in defiance. 

"Arrogant human, you dare—" 

'Snap.' 

Amemiya calmly grasped her wrist. The cow lady spirit, fully prepared to unleash her wrath upon him, suddenly froze in place. Her body refused to obey her will. She could only move her mouth and eyes.

"What... what did you do to my body?" Her voice wavered with a hint of fear.

Amemiya twisted her arm behind her back with practiced ease, securing her. He spoke with a stern authority, "From this moment on, your body belongs to me."

"W-wait, what do you think you're doing!?" Panic seeped into the cow lady's voice. "I'm a vengeful spirit! How dare you try that with me?"

Amemiya was briefly taken aback by her insinuation but quickly caught on. With a low, deliberate voice, he replied, "You have no idea what humans are capable of."

After all, why should the fact that she was a ghost matter? So long as she was cute, nothing else mattered.

"He really is a boss…" Asuya, who had been quivering in the corner, stared in disbelief.

Just moments ago, she had been hiding in fear. Now, the real boss was making a vengeful spirit submit to his will. She was glad she had clung to the right person.

Meanwhile, Chika stomped forward, her cheeks puffed up in anger. "Why did you call me fat earlier?!"

Women are perpetually sensitive about their weight, just as men are sensitive about their… length. And Chika was no exception.

The cow lady's eyes rolled toward Chika's chest, her spirit subdued yet still managing to speak with a saccharine tone. "Human, isn't that just useless fat on your chest?"

Amemiya involuntarily nodded in agreement. He had seen it himself—there 'was' a lot of unnecessary fat.

As Chika noticed Amemiya's nod, her bangs shaded her eyes ominously. She smiled sweetly, her voice soft as she tilted her head. "Amamiya-kun, did you just… nod?"

"Yep, I nodded." Amemiya replied confidently, completely unafraid.

The cow lady's low emotional intelligence was to blame here. She had mistaken plumpness for fat. What she should have said was that Chika had a "great figure"—an answer more considerate and fitting.

"What I really meant," Amemiya added with a composed expression, "is that Fujiwara-san has a splendid figure. When standing next to other girls, you shine like a firefly in the night. Even combined, Shinomiya-san and the others don't match up to you."

"...stare—"

A cold, piercing gaze bored into him from behind. Kaguya stood with her arms crossed, her face utterly unreadable. Her voice, however, carried a chill as cold as midnight. 

"To judge a girl based solely on her figure… Natsuki-san, you truly are a shallow man." 

"Well, congratulations," Amemiya responded dryly. "You've discovered a universal truth."

No man in the world isn't shallow.

Redirecting their attention back to the vengeful spirit, Amemiya spoke up again. "Miss Cow," he said, assigning her an appropriate name, "I heard you can conjure food out of thin air?"

"Despicable human," she sneered, "don't think you'll get anything from me!"

"So you 'can' produce food," Amemiya mused, his eyes narrowing as he focused on the cow ghost. A prompt suddenly appeared before his eyes:

'[Upon careful observation, you have discovered Miss Cow's secret. You may now toy with her tail]'

Amemiya's face fell in disappointment. 'Her tail? Not the front?' 

Still, he reached out and grasped the tail. It was cold to the touch, with no body heat at all. It felt more like a prop, though it had a certain firmness and texture when squeezed.

"W-wait!" the cow lady cried, her voice trembling. "Don't touch me there!"

Ignoring her protests, Amemiya continued his actions. After a short while, Rikka suddenly exclaimed, "Look at the cup!"

Everyone turned their gaze to the cup on the table. To their astonishment, white milk had suddenly appeared out of thin air.

"This is beyond unscientific," Kaguya muttered, her eye twitching slightly. "It defies all logic."

Amemiya, however, remained calm. "There's plenty of illogical things here. The real question is, can the milk be drunk?"

Without any proper testing equipment, the only way to find out was to conduct a human trial.

"Kujo-san…" Kaguya's gaze shifted toward Asuya Kujo, who stood nearby.

Kaguya, having been raised under the elite education of the Kaguya family, had no qualms about using others to her advantage. There was no way she would drink milk of unknown origin. As for Amemiya and Chika, they were her close companions—too important to risk.

But before Kaguya could finish, Chika suddenly stepped forward and declared with determination, "I'll drink it."

Without giving anyone a chance to stop her, the girl gulped down the milk in one go, then placed the cup back on the table with a satisfied sigh. "...Another cup, please."

Everyone stood in stunned silence.

To be safe, they waited a few minutes, watching Chika closely. To their relief, she remained perfectly fine—brimming with energy, in fact.

"The milk is delicious," Chika reported with a grin, giving a thumbs up. "No strange taste at all. It's just like an authentic milk, and my stomach feels nice and warm after drinking it."

The cow ghost, growing anxious, quickly interjected, "You humans are pushing your luck!"

Amemiya calmly reached for her tail again. "Miss Cow, if it hurts, just let me know, and I'll be more gentle."

"No! Don't touch my tail!" she whimpered.

"This is non-negotiable."

"N-no more," the cow girl ghost's eyes grew misty, and her voice trembled with desperation. "I haven't eaten in ages… there's really not a single drop left…"