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Kaguya-sama Wants My Surrender!

By accident, Amamiya became a participant in a bizarre real-life escape game. He soon discovered that he could see prompts hovering over both the monsters and his fellow players. And so… things started to feel a bit off. In the Ghost Academy, during a game of "statue," a ghostly girl on the playground looked at him with tear-filled eyes: "Don't come any closer!" In the Horror Canteen: "Dear student, you’ve wasted food. I demand hush money." In the Devil's Examination Room: "Is it wrong to bribe the evil ghost teacher with cash?" Amamiya could also motivate his teammates. [Player: Kaguya Shinomiya] [Status: Crouching and trembling] [Prompt: Please use the following methods to boost your teammate’s morale.] Amamiya sighed. "Shinomiya, can you please show a little more spirit? Did you not eat?" "…"

IamNoob · Anime und Comics
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103 Chs

Chapter 14: Is it Wrong to Bribe the Ghost Teacher?

The ghost classroom.

The death examination room.

Amamiya found himself walking involuntarily into the classroom, his body acting on its own. Once he sat down at an empty desk, he regained control and let out a quiet sigh of relief. Now that he was free to move again, he took a moment to observe his surroundings.

Most of the other students were vengeful spirits, sitting quietly in their bloodstained school uniforms. Their skin was pale, and they exuded a sinister, cold aura as they kept their heads bowed in silence. Among them were also a few unfortunate players, much like Amamiya and his companions.

The walls and windows were smeared with bloodstains and claw marks, some of which still appeared fresh, hinting at the horrors that had taken place here.

On the podium stood the invigilator: a tall female teacher with waist-length hair. Her figure was surprisingly attractive, and Amamiya couldn't help but think she must have been a beauty in life.

His gaze traveled up to her face.

...Yeah, no. Definitely not a beauty anymore.

Her face was a patchwork of knife scars, her eyes glowed a deep red, and the corners of her mouth were twisted unnervingly. If anything, she could've benefited from wearing a mask.

As Amamiya stared, a line of text materialized above the teacher's head:

[The teacher once accepted bribes to leak exam questions. Now, she's full of resentment and extremely dangerous. Avoid direct confrontation. Find her weakness and tame her.]

Amamiya's eyes wandered downward to the invigilator's chest.

Yep, two very obvious weaknesses.

"The 444th round of exams will now begin," the invigilator rasped, her voice hoarse as she stood at the podium, brandishing a bloodstained triangle ruler. "I will now explain the rules."

"This exam lasts for 20 minutes. During this time, no one may leave the classroom—doing so will result in death."

"After each question is answered, the paper will grade itself. Failing students will be... punished."

'Fail and you die... Even Professor Mia Kalifa isn't this cruel', Amamiya thought grimly.

At that moment, whispers reached his ears from the other players.

"Hey, those three over there... Aren't they the bosses from the cafeteria?"

"They're the ones who made all the ghost students pay up!" one player whispered. "I even saw a ghost girl try to resist, but they messed with her until she cried."

'Messed with her?! No physical contact was involved! When did this story get so exaggerated?!'

"They've gotta be veteran players for sure," another player said, watching Amamiya, Kaguya, and Chika from a safe distance.

'Sorry to disappoint you', Amamiya thought wryly, 'but the pink-haired girl behind me, currently doodling on her desk, is a total newbie who's just as lost as you are.'

Turning his attention to the test paper on his desk, Amamiya noticed it was covered in large bloodstains, almost obscuring the questions. But as he stared at it, the bloodstains receded, revealing the first problem.

[This bloodstained exam paper is filled with resentment. Please reuse it to save energy and protect the environment.]

"Hey, this first question's super easy!" Chika's voice hissed beside him.

Amamiya's eyes fell on the first question:

What is one plus two?

...Really? High school students and even adult players were sitting here, and the first question was "What is one plus two?" 

'Who do you think we are?'

He quickly ticked off the correct answer. Next.

The second question popped up:

Rabbits and chickens are placed in a cage together. There are 35 heads and 94 legs. How many rabbits and how many chickens are there?

'An elementary school-level problem?'

He ticked the correct answer with a slight smirk and moved to the third question.

What is the 100th decimal place of pi?

'Your sister!'

Who in their right mind could answer that?! Amamiya stared at the question in disbelief.

Suddenly, he felt a poke on his thigh. Turning, he saw Chika scribbling the number nine on the desk with her finger.

'You... you remember pi to the 100th decimal place?'

Chika leaned closer, whispering, "I peeked at Kaguya-chan's paper!"

Ah, that made sense. Kaguya, with her extraordinary intelligence, could certainly remember pi to the 100th decimal place. 

'Kaguya-sama, forever our goddess!'

Feeling more confident, Amamiya ticked off the third answer. Then came the fourth question, and his hope instantly crumbled.

What color are the invigilator's panties?

A: Red 

B: Black 

C: Blue and white stripes 

D: None

'What the... how are we supposed to answer this?!' Amamiya mentally screamed. It was impossible to tell without... asking directly or, well, peeking. Even Kaguya wouldn't know this one.

Just then, a line of text appeared before his eyes:

[You decide to lift the invigilator's skirt to check... You die.]

'Great advice. Thanks.'

As Amamiya mulled over his choices, another player took a more daring approach. He pulled a small mirror from his pocket, positioned it near his foot, and slid it forward when the invigilator passed by.

Big mistake.

"Cheating is punishable by death," the invigilator hissed, her voice dripping with malice. She swung her bloodstained ruler without hesitation.

Blood sprayed across the room.

Silence fell as the players quickly gave up any thoughts of peeking.

Moving to the next question, Amamiya stared blankly at the options:

What punishment will those caught trying to escape the school face?

A: Hanging 

B: Impalement 

C: Riding the Wooden Horse 

D: The Sheep Punishment

'...What is a sheep punishment?'

Frustrated, Amamiya glanced at the invigilator. Since she was right here, there was a better chance of bribing her than figuring out the punishments.

As he stared, another line of text appeared:

[After persistent observation, you have uncovered the invigilator's weakness: There is no problem in this world that money can't solve.]

'That's it!'

A plan formed in Amamiya's mind. A moment later, as the invigilator walked by his desk, Amamiya discreetly placed a Ghost Academy coin on the table.

Clink.

The invigilator paused.

"Teacher, you dropped this," Amamiya said innocently.

The invigilator stared at the coin for a moment before silently picking it up. Then, she reached out and tapped an answer on his test paper.

D: No underwear

Amamiya filled in the answer.

The test paper graded itself immediately: Correct.