273. What are the Rock Humans?

"Lumper Stiltskin is a Troll. Trolls are known to love literature and have been known to hide treasure. The reason why I was hunting Lumper Stiltskin was that Rick said that the Stiltskin family had one of the books that they would die protecting. We tried to do it the civil way and asked for the book. They denied access so we tried to steal it. Now..."

*SLAM!!!*

"You killed... a suspect..." Raphael facepalmed while speaking in sign language.

"Well!" yelled Gabrielle. "Technically... He tried to kill us... so-!"

"Gabrielle... That man belongs to a very powerful family in Scotland!"

"So!? He was a bad guy!" yelled Narcos. "So, we killed him!"

"That doesn't undermine the fact that you tried stealing this book! What even is it!?"

"Is... Is he asking me?" asked Mercuria. "What did he-?"

"What book is it?" asked Gabrielle.

"That, since you didn't read the title... is the JoJo Family Biography and Encyclopedia!" smiled Mercuria. "Sorry, sir. That was insensitive."

"Oh... It's fine... Wait... What? So... You... have connections with the JoJo Family?"

"They know we're Ibarras," whispered Gabrielle.

"WHAT!?"

"Is he mad at you after you said that?" asked Mercuria.

"Will you just look at his facial expressions!?" asked Gabrielle.

"What facial expressions?" asked Mercuria.

Raphael panics and looks outside his office and looks at the other officers. He sighs as he walks to the windows of his office and closes the blinds of every corner. "Okay... Are you saying that Narcos here is connected to some of the stuff Dad used to research?"

"Yeah," Gabrielle nodded. "Narcos is classified as a Rock Human. He has a connection with some sort of organization Dad was after before he got taken out by Stefan. They're called the Dark Quartz Organization. They've been wary of us since. They've been doing something sketchy underneath... everything! We asked around and even talked to the higher-ups! They have no idea what they are and what they're trying to do...One of our enemies said, however, is that they're planning to destroy everything Dad built. They're trying to disassemble Maharlica."

"Why!?"

"Because they are coming."

"Who's 'they!?'"

"We don't know... But they have something to do with this symbol." Gabrielle shows the back of the book: Black quartz.

"That looks like Steven's Gem..." said Raphael.

"Right!?" asked Gabrielle.

"Dude..." said Raphael. Raphael smiles and fist bumps Gabrielle. He then slaps the back of her hand with the back of his and then high fives her. He then grabs her hand and chest bumps her.

"Wait... you aren't that uptight!?" asked Mercuria.

"My work self is not my real self," smiled Raphael. 

"What did he say?" asked Mercuria.

"My work self is not my real self," smiled Gabrielle 

"Could've been easy on me that time I dropped your doughnuts..." whispered Mercuria.

"Easy..." said Raphael with his hands.

"I feel like you heard that... so... sorry..." said Mercuria. "How are you understanding what he's saying!?" Mercuria asked Narcos.

"How do you not?" laughed Narcos. "You got any buttons, Mr. JoJo?"

"I like this guy!" smiled Raphael. "Really do!Anyway... As a boss, I should fire you. But as 'her brother', I'll let you off with a warning," said Raphael.

"What did he say?" asked Mercuria.

"As a boss, we'd be fired. But as 'her brother', 'right on,'" smiled Gabrielle.

"That's not what I said," said Raphael.

"See ya!" Gabrielle stood up and left. The other two followed.

"It was two years ago from this day that Simoun, the father of my child, was killed. It was around that time when these people began covering up his story, which is why people now think that Simoun, mi Amor, never existed and was purely a legend. These Rock Humans are a parasite race similar to the Cuckoo Chick. They are taken care of by creatures who are not of their species, taking the place of their own children.The strange creatures known as Rock Humans have an organization. An ancient one. It is called the Dark Quartz Organization. They had been an underground organization using equivalent exchange via fruits called the Locacaca and selling the fruit for high prices. Why? We still don't know.I've been following them lately and they had been rallying up Rock Humans. I ended up decapitating some Aswangs myself during the dark of the night. The Rock Humans seem to have connections to the Aswang Kingdom Salvi now leads.Today marks the day Emilio declared independence to the Philippines. I'll just be happy that I'm free right now...

Maria Clara, June 12, 1898."

Note: The Philippines did in fact declare its independence on June 12, 1898. But...

*flip*

Gabrielle is reading through pages along with Mercuria and Narcos.

"Many of my friends were killed... Villages were torn apart... Children and women were shot dead by the white men who came to our country. I watched my best friend get shot in the head and tossed in the river along with hundreds of bodies the Americans genocided. I thought we were free...White men are truly evil... and Cryptids are lower than them. Rock Humans? I don't know what to think of them yet.The Dark Quartz, and the Aswang Kingdom, now calling themselves the New World Order, seemed to have helped the Americans conquer the Philippines. The New World Order seems to be planning 'to achieve Heaven.' The Dark Quartz seems to only aid them with weapons like no other... and helping them search for the Ark of the Covenant. Their motivations are still unknown.America believes that they are some sort of Messianic savior. We already have one... So if an American ever reads this... Back off. I beg of you... Back off... We've lost enough... My second son, who was one, tried to protect me. The soldier shot him in the face. Fuck you.But in the end... so did we... but fuck you. Get the fuck out of our country.I enjoyed crucifying one American... cutting off his ears and nose... feeding them to my dog... I buried one alive and fed one to ants... Yet it is justified... as what we do is for freedom.

Maria Clara, March 3, 1901."

Note: Maria is talking about American Exceptionalism and how many Americans believe that America is destined for greatness and destined to help people. That was the belief that drove Doughnut Trumpet insane. That was also the belief that caused the Maharlican-American War. Ironically, Miguel showed Maharlican Exceptionalism, an ideology in this world that his own nation is destined to help the world. Both were hypocrites. Both were politicians. But both did what they thought was best for their country...Yeck.And yes... The Americans, according to accounts, also did war crimes in the Phil-Am War. And... so did the Philippines.

*flip*

"I am Pedro JoJo. I am 14 years old and I just fathered a child, Daniel JoJo. Today, I encountered a creature unlike any other. Their woges were similar to silicon stone. It was horrifying as I have never seen such a Cryptid before. This must be the Rock Humans mother once spoke to me about.I crept in the night to enter one of their establishments, which is a cave in the dark woods. I expected a much more tribal place, but I was wrong. I encountered highly advanced technology made of shimmering crystals and gems. I found weapons that were advanced enough to break diamonds into pieces with ease. I saw cannons that vaporized a pond in seconds. All these crystals, though they glowed brightly, were purely black in color. It was eerie. I decided to leave the site to study them in silence rather than decapitating them. After all, they are not harming anyone at the moment. They merely trade some sort of fruit that seems to equivalently exchange body parts of objects with others.

Pedro JoJo, August 27, 1910."

*flip*

"...After decapitating the Jap with the katana I stole using Hermit Purple, I cut down the next few with my sword. I watched the women's dresses get torn apart by a Japanese soldier. I ended up vomiting on the sidewalk after I saw the mutilation that asshole did to the child in her womb. After going for another round on her, the woman died. The soldier, the Japanese soldier, then woged into a Rock Human.'Huh...' I said. I was enamored yet horrified at the same time.He then brought out his Stand, 'Swing,' and attacked me by warping the tiles on the ground into pools of lava. So I killed him with the katana.

Daniel JoJo, February 12, 1944."

Note: The Japanese did in fact commit war crimes in the Philippines. Some Japanese raped the Filipinos' women, called 'Comfort Women.' They were raped, sterilized, and was forced to abort their children. The Philippines did probably as well, but that's fucked up.

"I found a Rock Human and followed him to a meeting in a hotel upstate. I listened to their conversation and they talked about someone named Bill Cipher and how they're planning an invasion. An invasion from people out in the stars. Aliens, perhaps? Probably not. But if they're real, we have to be ready. Whatever is about to come, we should be very, very careful.

Plan: Project Maharlica.

Ricardo JoJo, October 5, 1966"

*flip*

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WADDUP JOJO NATION!!!?IT'S ME, BROTHER GRIMMS!!! ARTHUUUUUUR JOJO!!!Seriously, though. Bodacious... I found a Rock Human Colony in the southern caves just like what Ricardo talked about. I realize now that they're way too dangerous. But yeah. They are planning a secret invasion from some dudes called the Dark Gems? Pfft! Whatever, man! Yeah! And I'm so scared by some weirdos!

Arthur JoJo, December 17, 1996."

*flip*

"Oh, sweet Jesus. Yeah... So... I lost my robot hand. I need to have it rebuilt. However... I did find out that the Dark Gems are not a Cryptid group or a conspiracy cult. They're aliens. I found one. Called Black Onyx. Tall gal. Weird helmet. They're inorganic silicon-based extraterrestrial humanoids. There are apparently two species. Light Gems, who are colored and bright, and Dark Gems, who are black and dark. They are very powerful creatures as I've seen this gal hold up a whole truck with one arm. They've killed thousands of planets throughout the 4th-World Andromeda Galaxy. Freaky, huh?So, here I was behind a rock in the woods while listening to their conversation. And apparently, these guys are totally terrifying. For God's sake... One even growled like a cosmic beast that my ears couldn't comprehend.There was also a higher-up called Black Opal. She was tall, powerful, and pretty friggin' terrifying. Then, there was their leader, Black Diamond. High, mighty, and tall. For once, I felt fear unlike any other... more fear than the time I fought Salvi and Kars. I was so scared that I ended up retreating.Why? Because Black Diamond began puppeteering these Rock Humans like there were her slaves. The Rock Humans not only have a spiritual connection to these guys but a more biological one. They are driven to serve these creatures. Though, the fact that they have free will and these creatures could freely take it away and manipulate their bodies like that is pretty fuggin' terrifying.Lesson Learned: Don't fuck with these guys. Also... all Dark Gems are women.Note to Self: Initiate Project Maharlica. A plan that would unite the world, possibly other worlds, to defend against the Dark Gems.

Arthur JoJo, December 18, 1996."

*flip*

"I just came from a shoot-out. I quite literally shot some dude with a sniper. Just kidding! I used a coca-cola and a bottlecap. I saw that his brains splattered all over as he dropped into the ocean. We... were... on a boat, by the way. I mean, I am a Master of Random Bullshit, after all.

Arthur JoJo, January 1, 2001."

"Grandpa..." she sighed, shaking her head and snickering.

*flip*

"Whoops. Turns out I killed the Rock Human's Boss. Uh-Oh...

Arthur JoJo, January 2, 2001."

*flip*

"It's been a year since I brought back the world that was destroyed. I did it. I initiated an interplanetary defense system by creating a sovereign nation out of the eight planets. Except, of course, for the United States of America. The stubborn President just can't seem to listen that a threat is coming.

I also married my beloved wife last year, and this counts as our anniversary. I wonder what gift I'd give her?

Miguel JoJo."

"Tch-!"

Gabrielle closed her eyes and shook her head.

"I have discovered the Wesen (Veh-Sen) hideout of the Rock Humans. They have been hiding in remote warehouses trying to create some sort of device. They're planning to do something with this device. It's a device similar to the device Rick made to wall off Universes. Not sure how this works. This device can be found in their Locacaca Farms in Mt. Banahaw.

Nicholas B., Sep 27, 2037."

"Who's Nicholas B.?" whispered Gabrielle. 

(theme begins)

"What's a Wesen?" asked Mercuria.

"It is the western term for Cryptids. The word 'Cryptid' is from the Spanish given term 'Cryptidos.' It's the term used in the Philippines and it later spread all over Asia. Sometimes, Americans use the word 'Cryptid' when speaking to Filipinos."

"Psh... Do Grimms have these weird random terms other than, well, 'Grimm'?"

"Actually, the proper term for Grimms is 'Decapitare.'" said Gabrielle. "We just call ourselves 'Grimms' because it is the German term for 'Wrath.'"

"Yeah. You do kinda have anger issues," said Mercuria.

"Psh. No, I don't," laughed Gabrielle. 

The pair stays silent.

(theme ends)

"Right?!"

"Oh, yeah!" yelled Mercuria, reassuringly.

"Yep! Yep! Yep!" smiled Narcos.

*flip*

"Rock Humans. I've done some digging and this is what I learned.

They're the creations of Dark Gems. They were created on multiple Earths with the purpose of hopefully replacing the species on Earth. While they reproduce continually with the host species, Rock Humans would soon dominate.

However, something went wrong.

Dark Gems, being 4th-World Creatures, never truly understand humanity as a whole. So, the Rock Organisms they created became rather violent creatures compared to the host species they are in. Rock Humans ended up having awful relationships with Humans and Cryptids which mostly ended with murder. This is because Rock Humans' first memories have their mothers abandoning them, causing them to have increased aggression toward other Rock Humans and the host species. Rock Insects and Rock Animals, meanwhile, evolved differently and looked nothing alike to the host species, except for Rock Dogs, of course. The Rock Organisms are not fully a failure, however, as they have masterfully camouflaged themselves in human society.

I need to protect my family...

Miguel JoJo, October 4, 2037."

"Tch-..." whispered Gabrielle.

"Something wrong?" asked Narcos.

"Nothing..."

*flip*

"A Rock Woman named Kesha killed someone named Gloria Costello."

Mercuria's eyes widen. "WHAT!?"

"You... know her?" asked Gabrielle.

Mercuria looked distraught. "She... was my big sister... I used to be really close with her... She... was a victim in a car crash..."

"It says here..."

"Gloria Costello, a Stand-User and a cop, was killed at 4:31 PM by a Rock Human going by the name 'Kesha'. She is a friend and is 22-years-old. She was working with me on the Rock Organisms case. We ended up figuring out that Black Diamond is already dead and The Boss had been dead for almost 40 years.

The Boss of the organization was apparently killed in a shoot-out in 2001. My father shot him in the head and he fell into the ocean, likely drowning. The body was never found. Goddamnit, Dad... No wonder the Dark Gems hate us.

Jesus Christ. There should be a top ten list with how many times I tried to kill Mafia Bosses.

After this, I'll be compiling some hidden documents I've found in the hands of the Rock Humans. I'll need Nick to help compile more.

Miguel JoJo, October 11, 2037."

"Nick? Who's Nick?" whispered Gabrielle.

"A... Rock Human killed my sister?" asked Mercuria. She clenches her hands and her expression hardens.

Gabrielle facepalms. 

"You okay, Gabe?" asked Narcos.

"I can't believe Dad cheated on Mom..." said Gabrielle. "How the hell am I going to tell her?"

"He didn't," said Anne, walking down the stairs.

"A couple of twins with ties to the Improbable Man said-..."

"He didn't... He wouldn't..." said Anne. "Your father was a good man... whether or not he believed he was...He would never betray us like that... betray me..."

"Then what? They were lying?" asked Gabrielle, as she stood up. "Face it, Mom! Dad was never perfect-!"

"Gabrielle!"

"Because if he was then he would be still here!"

"Stop that!"

"Because if he was perfect he would've chosen us over this stupid world!"

Gabrielle wept and stomped upstairs.

Mercuria opens her mouth.

"Don't," Narcos shook his head.

"I'll go get her..." said Anne.

Anne walked upstairs.

*knock... knock...*

Gabrielle is shown staring at the stars.

"Hello, sweetie!" smiled Anne.

"Go away," Gabrielle wiped her tears.

"Your father loved you," said Anne. "You know that, right? You know that he did everything for you... That he died for you."

"He did it for this stupid world. Read the book he wrote, Mom! He never cared about me! All he talked about was this stupid mission and I'm here forced to take on The Reaper's mantle!"

"You know that that's not true..." said Anne. "He wanted a world where you were safe, Gabrielle... He did it for us...Why are you really sad?"

Gabrielle wiped her tears. "I'm such... a screw-up... Dad does hate me... Because if he is seeing me right now... He'd be so disappointed!I got pregnant at 19 by a boy I liked! And I don't know what to do!"

Anne sighs and sits down with Gabrielle on the bed. "You know... You're more Zeppeli than you are a JoJo. Did you know... that everyone used to think that about me, too? Even me! I always believed things like... 'I can't swim...' or... 'I can't fight...' I was always the bystander, Gabrielle... Until Miguel told me that he believed in me.No one... No one except your father ever thought that about me... He loved me... and he loved your brother... and he loved you...So... if he was here right now... He'd laugh and say, 'Oh, please! You'd be fine! Quit your yapping and just get on with it! No one... not you... especially not my grandchild... has time for you to give up everything you've worked for right now. Come on. I know you can do it. I know you can because my blood runs in yours. Go get 'em, sweetheart.'"

Gabrielle smiled and wiped her tears. She hugs Anne.

"I'm sorry that I got pregnant, Mommy."

"It's okay! This... This is a good thing..." Anne laughed. "I'm sorry for yelling at you last month... That was uncalled for..."

Anne hugs Gabrielle.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you, too, Mommy..."

"We'll get through this... I promise..."

"I believe... I have faith in that, Mommy..."

Meanwhile...

Narcos flips to the next page...

It's torn off...

"A missing page?"

Narcos sees that there are three pages torn off.

"Huh..."