214. The Batman

Bruce wakes up in bed as Diana smiles sweetly at Bruce.

Bruce smiles back.

"Good morning," said Diana.

"Morning," said Bruce as he stood from his bed and yawned.

Bruce stands up and prepares to brush his teeth in the bathroom.

"Bruce," said Diana.

"Yeah?"

"You promised that you'd take us to the park today."

"Oh. Well, yeah! Of course!" Bruce spits in the sink.

"Well... You look like you're going to a meeting."

"I won't. I promise. I'm just excited that we're going to a place where we'd love."

"Damian and Cass are still asleep. I'll go wake them up," smiled Diana.

Bruce sighed.

*BZZT*

Bruce sees flashes of heat vision right before his eyes as he covers his face. Bruce takes some pills and drinks them.

"YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME!!!"

Bruce closes his eyes shut and shakes his head.

"DAMIAN!!! CASS!!!"

*BZZT*

Two children could be heard screaming.

Bruce covers his mouth and trembles.

"DADDY!!!" smiled Damian and Cassandra, both hugging Bruce as they ran into the bedroom.

"Hey, kids! You wanna go out for the picnic?" smiled Bruce.

"YEAH!!!" smiled Damian and Cassandra.

Now...

Damian and Cassandra stare blankly at the Taloses before them who point their blasters at the pair.

"This is all your fault," said Cassandra. "You should've woken up Mom and Dad when they took us!"

"Oh, please," said Damian, very calmly yet with rising intonation. "It's your fault that you didn't let me sneak behind them to kill them off."

"Oh! Yeah! You can kill them!" said Cassandra, sarcastically. "Yeah! A ten-year-old who just started training three years ago!"

"Oh, please!" yelled Damian. "I am the first male Amazon in the world. I'm basically the most unique creature on the entire planet... or, counting what we've experienced... multiple planets!!!"

"Dork."

"Doofus."

"Dingus."

"Dolt."

"Dickhead."

"Dumbass."

"I'm running out of insults that start with the letter D."

"Devil Woman. I win."

Bruce, Frank, Matthew, Tony, Wade, and Harley wake up in the middle of the ground, all feeling rather dizzy.

"Damian!? Cassandra!?" yelled Bruce, as he nearly tripped. "Peter!?"

*vroom*

Tony looks outside the window and sees some cars driving away,

"Wayne," said Tony. "Some weird robots are driving away."

"After them," said Bruce, as he puts on his mask. Tony and Bruce press buttons on their chests. Nothing.

*pchoo... pchoo...*

"What the hell!?" asked Bruce. He kept on trying to press the button on his chest.

"They disabled our suits," said Tony.

Bruce looks outside.

"There's a van outside," said Wade. Wade walks outside. "Let's go!"

"Wait... This looks like a trap," said Bruce.

"Yeah!? Well, we'll follow them and see what they've got!" yelled back Harley. "You wanna find your family, right?"

"That actually makes sense," said Bruce, as he walked outside.

"I'll drive," said Tony.

"Shotgun!" smiled Deadpool.

The group entered the van as Tony took the wires at the bottom of the steering wheel and connected them. It sparks as the van purrs.

Tony sighs. "This van is in desperate need of an upgrade."

"We don't have time," said Bruce. "Drive."

*vroom*

"Where'd they go?" asked Frank, as he, Wade, and Harley cock their guns. Matthew swings his batons around.

"I don't know..." said Tony. "I'm looking around for some clues."

Frank hands Bruce a gun.

"No, thanks," said Bruce.

"Suit yourself, Batman," said Frank.

*vroom*

Bruce sees Damian and Cassandra in the cars before them.

"They have my kids," said Bruce.

"Wayne... I know what you're thinking..." said Tony. "I've heard of what you can do in the TVA... I suggest you don't-..."

Tony turns to Bruce, but Bruce is already gone.

"Did-..." said Deadpool. "Did anyone see him vanish?"

(theme begins... Subscribe to the owners of the Video! Their links can be found in the top-left corner.)

Bruce grapples to a light pole and drops on one of the cars.

Bruce takes out a Batarang and slices a hole out of the roof of the car. Two Taloses with blasters in their holsters are driving the car. One takes out their blaster and blasts at Bruce. Bruce leaps backward and dodges the blast. Bruce stabs the roof of the car once more as he breaks open the car door and swings inside, dropkicking the two Taloses as they are broken to pieces on the road.

Bruce then takes out some sort of magnet and attaches the magnet to the roof. The circular magnet then blasts out a grappling hook as the car in front of him is pulled backward. Bruce then does a hard left and flips the car he's riding as the car next to him is crushed.

The Talos looks behind him and says in a robotic voice, "Bruce Wayne of Prime-Earth: Status Unknown."

A fist inside a heated gauntlet punches a hole into the car roof.

"Status Alive."

Bruce pulls the Talos' head and throws it into the road.

Five slender Taloses appear that hold katanas as they slash their katanas toward Bruce, who successfully blocks them all with merely one counter strike.

Bruce then manages to grab all their katanas as he swipes their legs.

Bruce clenches his fists.

As the three of them stand up, Bruce shoots his grappling gun into the trio's heads all at once as he swings the Taloses from left to right and throws all of them offboard, hitting the other two as all five crash into pieces into the road.

(theme ends)

Meanwhile, Tony meets a Talos riding a taxi who prepares its blasters at Tony...

"Wade," said Tony.

"Yeah? Oh!" Wade sees that they are being sideswiped.

Deadpool shoots the Talos in the head, killing it.

"Adamantium bullets, baby!" smiled Deadpool.

Tony holds up his fist.

"What?" asked Deadpool.

"I think he's cheering," said Harley. "Y'know! Like... Woohoo!"

"Woohoo!!!" Deadpool copies him.

"No, you idiots. Grab my watch and pull it and over my hand," said Tony. "Haven't you ever heard of me!?"

"I honestly don't care," said Deadpool.

*PEW PEW*

Tony's and Wade's heads dodge the blast.

"JUST DO IT!!!" yelled Tony.

Deadpool grabs the watch and pulls it over Tony's hand as it morphs into a repulsor cannon.

"HOLY SHIT!!! THAT'S FUCKING COOL!!!"

Tony opens his palm and points it at the Talos's head.

*pchoo*

The gauntlet charges.

*PEW*

*BOOM*

The Talos explodes and so does the car.

*clang*

Someone above lands.

"I'll take care of it," said Matthew.

"Wait," said Tony, as he hands Matthew new shiny red batons.

"What's this?" asked Matthew.

"Adamantium Batons," said Tony. "Laced with nanites."

Matthew nods. "Thanks, Stark."

(theme begins at 0:20)

Matthew swings outside as three slender katana-wielding Taloses swing their blades.

Matthew bows his head and takes out his batons.

The three attack at once as Matthew blocks all three with his arms. The three continue to throw slashes and kicks as Matthew struggles to block all the katanas. Matthew then manages to trap all katanas in his arm and his baton as he bashed all three of them with his baton.

*PEW*

Matthew senses the blasts' heat as he leaped upward and does a spinning aerial cartwheel, dodging all of the ray bullets as he stabs the car roof, nearly dropping on the road.

"You okay there, Red?" asked Frank, as he discharged bullets at the robots with his machine gun.

Five more come as Matthew blocks all of their five katana swings at once as he twists his baton. A long stretchable rope appears as he spins around their necks and tears all of their heads off.

"I'm okay!" yelled Matthew, as he swings back into the car.

(theme ends)

Deadpool and Harley shoot several Taloses behind them, both laughing and acting all trigger happy.

Meanwhile, Bruce, far behind the others and on another enemy's car, reveals a gadget as he shoots two bullets into two facing buildings with his gauntlet right before the car he is on. Bruce presses a button as two ropes magnetically intersect right in front of the car. The car stops and flips backward as Bruce leaps upward and his cape widens like a bat.

*beep beep beep beep*

The Talos looks down and sees that there is a beeping round object on its chest.

*BOOM*

The truck explodes as Bruce tumbles forward. Bruce then presses a button on his boots as he leaped upward and toward the next car. He lands as they blast their ray guns at Bruce. Bruce kicks down into the driver's seat and blasts his repulsion soles at its face repeatedly as the car is forced to crash and explode. Bruce leaps upward and lands on the next car, where he drops a tiny ball into the car. He grapples up and onto the next car as he presses a button on his gauntlet.

*SHING*

Very slender needles, about a nanometer wide, made from vibranium and adamantium alloy, are shot out of the ball as the Taloses inside are instantly killed.

Bruce then drops on the last car close to him, in the far lead, where his two children stayed.

Bruce breaks open the car roof as the Taloses instantly shot at his two kids.

*DING*

The Taloses are confused as some sort of barrier is blocking their shots.

"Stefan. We cannot shoot the hostages."

"DON'T SHOOT THE HOSTAGES, YOU IDIOTS!!!" yelled Stefan on the radio. "THEY'RE HOSTAGES!!! WHO THE HELL IS CAPABLE OF KILLING LITERALLY EVERY TALOS I HAVE THERE!!!? They're supposed to be made of Vibranium, Adamantium, and Promethium with artificial fucking intelligence!!! WHO CAN BEAT THEIR THOUGHT PATTERN IN A FIGHT!?"

"Bruce Wayne, sir," said a Talos.

"WHO!?"

"Me," Bruce spoke into the radio as he snapped the two Talos' necks.

"Hi, Daddy!" smiled Cassandra.

"Hey, sweetie," said Bruce. "Damian, you're grounded."

"WHAT!?" asked Damian. "WHY!?"

"Because I know you did something stupid," said Bruce.

"HOW!?"

"Because you just told me right now that you did something stupid."

"BRING THE TWO CHILDREN TO ME!!!" yelled Stefan. "THAT WAY, THOSE IDIOTS WOULD BE LED INTO MY TRAP-!!! Hello? Hello!?"

Bruce grabs the microphone. "Is this Stefan?"

"Who the fuck are you supposed to be?"

"I'm Batman."

"Okay, 'Batman...' I must admit that I have underestimated you... But do know this! That this battle between us!? This isn't over!"

"I honestly don't care," said Bruce, squinting his eyes.

"Yes, you do... You fear me just as you feared your other enemies... You have no idea what I'm capable of."

"Neither do you, I. You pretty much underestimated me. Good job, Damian."

"What!? What are you talking about!? J-113!!! Look behind you to know what they're doing!"

The robot looks behind itself.

*PEW*

The robot's face is blown to bits as Damian jumps to the driver's seat and drives the car.

"Shit!" yelled Stefan.

"Are you some kind of idiot?" asked Bruce.

"SILENCE, WENCH!!!" yelled Stefan. "I AM DARKNESS!!!"

"Pfft," said Bruce. "No, you're not. I was raised in the darkness."

"AND I WAS BORN IN IT!!! I... WAS MOLDED BY IT!!!" yelled Stefan.

"That just means you can see better in it. But unlike you, I know what it's like to bathe in the sunlight and not let it shine my eyes... I don't allow it to blind me... I don't allow it to overwhelm me... And here you are acting like you control this situation. You don't. Nothing in this world is something you control. However, what you can do is equalize the playing field. I don't think you can do what I do, because I don't think you're smart enough to do what I do. 'Unbreakable...' Psh... What a joke."

"Hmhmhmhmhmhm... Hahahahahahahahaha... I know what you're doing there. You're taunting me... You... You sly dog! Hahahahahahahaha! You think you're ready to beat a Fortisite like me? What have you got up your sleeve... Batman?" Stefan growled.

Bruce looks at his utility belt's glowing green brass knuckles.

"I have a pretty good idea with what I'll do to you..."

"You won't kill me, would you?"

"If I have no other choice... I'll kill you without a second thought."

"I don't think you have the balls."

Bruce squints his eyes. "Try me."

"Good luck."

*click*

"Damian," said Bruce. "Turn us around."

"Yes, father," said Damian, as he turns them around.

"Shit... I hope that we can survive what's to come..." said Batman. "'Survive'... Heh..."