Why Would I

"Ah..." Ari groaned as she rolled over to her side.

Wincing, she rolled onto her back and let out an exhausted gasp.

Vibrations emitting from her phone placed on her nightstand called her attention away from her aching side.

"Probably spam, it's probably spam. Probably spam it's probably spam" Ari said to herself as she shut her eyes.

Continued vibrations caused her eyes to pop open as she sighed.

"I'm gonna look and it's definitely going to be spam" she said in an audibly exhausted state.

Gingerly sliding over to the side of her bed she grabbed her phone and turned it on.

Staring at her lockscreen she squinted at the light in her eyes as she adjusted to the brightness.

Looking at her screen she read the messages and rolled her eyes.

Looking at the time she rolled onto her back and scooted up.

[You've been added to the group: Orion's Rager]

[Kelsey: Um who added the buzzkill]

[Orion: Lay off she always does something wild at these parties I wanna see who she punches this time *cry laugh emoji*]

[Ari: Calm down before it's u this time Franklin]

[Paul: LOL she government named u bro]

[Now see if that was me I wouldn't allow it but you do you lil bro]

[Ari: tf u talking about Paul, you're the nigga I punched last time]

[U would allow it.]

[Kyron: Ohhhh she's going off again!]

[Orion: HAHAHA see, Brooks a vibe when you just watching]

[Ari: I'm not going to your party just to smack someone up for your amusement]

Rolling her eyes Ari closed the group and went to set her phone down.

It vibrating in her hand had her instinctually check her messages.

[Orion: Hey it's Orion]

[Ari: Duh bitch I have your number saved]

[Orion: wait why we don't talk]

[Ari: I have everyone's number saved so I can ignore the jackoffs *smiling face emoji*]

[Orion: Okay I just wanted to tell you I wasn't the one trying to invite u]

[Tom asked me to and that's bro so I did]

[You don't have to rock up but we both know he's a good dude and he really sounded like he needed to talk to you about something so at least talk to him pls]

Reading Tom's name had the back of Ari's head burning from guilt.

[Ari: aight I'll talk to him]

She said before immediately shutting her phone off

Gnawing guilt over her gleeful participation in Zoe's infidelity rattled her.

"Shit, I should tell him what we did...wait she's dead am I really gonna ruin her rep cause I'm feeling guilty...shit" Ari said as she ignored her aching body and buried her head in the pillow.

Letting out a deep sigh she reached over and turned her phone on.

[Ari: Hey Orion tell Tom I'll see him whenever he's free]

As soon as the text appeared in the chat Ari shut her phone off and placed it down.

Looking at the peaking sunlight edging over the top of her curtains she sighed.

Slowly rising out of her bed she poked at her side.

"Oof" she said as she walked over to her mirror and lifted her arms slowly.

Wincing at the pain and strain that stretching was exerting on her sides she looked at her bruises.

Turning on the spot to see the red bruises on her sides, she put her arms back down and sluggishly went to take a shower.

Stood naked under the hot water her compounding guilt washed over her as she monotonously took a shower.

She was wracked with guilt as her mind took a long scenic tour through all of the time and opportunity she had to tell the truth.

From the first time she realized she had feelings for Zoe and did a terrible job hiding it.

The night she was walking a drunk Zoe home and got pulled into a passionate kiss when she tried to say goodbye at her doorstep.

A kiss that got taken away from her the following day with a rambling voice message about how the thing she'd waited for was just a drunken mistake.

The giddy snickering she sat through from Zoe talking about how much she liked some new guy named Tom.

The only time she attempted to pull away and leave Zoe to her lonesome which ended in them intertwined in lust in Ari's room.

To the day she convinced herself all the sneaking around and lying and crying was worth it.

Zoe had finally picked her, she had one this sick twisted game.

All of that to only to find her strewn across the roof of a car bleeding profusely.

"God I'm a fucking asshole" she said as shut the water off.

"Why would I do this for so long" she said as her voice cracked.

Unable to escape the torture of her decisions she kept playing everything back in a loop in her mind.

Now wearing a shirt and underwear she sat on her bed and heard her phone buzz.

Heart dropping she saw a text message from Tom.

[Tom: Hey Ari ik this is weird but can we talk later?]

With her knees trembling she took a deep breath and swallowed spit.

[Ari: Yeah sure when you free?]

Watching the speech bubble animation as Tom typed a reply Ari had no idea what she was hoping to get as a response.

[Tom: Heading out now how about in an hour?]

Ignoring the nerves bubbling within her, she sought to right a long overdue wrong.

[Ari: Yeah sure see you soon]

She hit send and immediately dropped her phone on hee bed.

Springing up to her feet she paced back and forth nervously.

Tossing her closet open she pulled threw a pair of sweatpants on her bed.

Hands shaking as she put them on her indecision rattled her mind.

Catching her foot in the wrong leg she fell over onto her already injured side.

"Ah..." she said as she kicked the pants off and rolled onto her back.

Clutching her side her pain snapped her out of her funk and an answer appeared.

"Hang on I'm getting Zoe back. I can't do this to her when she's dead, she can talk to him about all this when she's back. Not my place..." she said as she slowly got up and got dressed.