Dreaming

It was almost the end of the day by the time Andrea headed back to the office. Walking back into the courthouse, there were very few 'Tims' around. They tended to be early-morning go-getters, as well as cutting out early if they got the chance. Those who were night owls would be hunkered down in their offices rather than cluttering up the hallways.

The public defender offices were almost as quiet as when Andrea had arrived early that morning. She slipped into her office and quickly checked if there were any urgent messages that needed responding to. There was an email from Madison with a summary of all her cases that had been reassigned, a question if she'd taken the afternoon off again, and apparently Madison would be unavailable this evening because of some date with a Spanish teacher she met. Andrea could feel her head getting tight just thinking about telling Madison about the case she might be taking.

With one thing and another it had been a very long day. Andrea would be glad to just write a couple of quick email responses, and then head home for a well deserved rest–

"Ms Mason. In my office if you please…"

–Or she might be about to have another conversation with Jacquelyn.

Andrea hadn't planned on dealing with this right now. After consideration, she thought it better to plan to talk to Jacquelyn in the morning after some sleep and a chance to compose herself. As she stood and walked to the boss's office, her legs wanted to just keep going and run right out of the courthouse.

She reminded herself how she had felt when she had found out that Jacquelyn had been part of the deception perpetrated against her. How Jacquelyn had sent her blindly into a meeting with Kyle without any warning. She had a feeling that Jacquelyn was going to be upset with her, but she needed to remember that she had far more reason to be mad!

When she stepped into Jacquelyn's office, for once she wasn't busy on her computer or reading documents. Instead, she was sitting at a cleared desk, hands steepled in front of her. The cleared desk felt almost threatening, like it had been prepared to do battle.

Andrea had her full attention. It was an imposing thing to have.

Andrea usually remained standing when she talked with Jacquelyn, unless it was going to be a long meeting. It felt respectful, and possibly an unconscious preference to be close to the door in case she needed to run.

Today she took a seat. She considered mirroring Jacquelyn's posture, elbows on the desk, fingers steepled. Put herself in a position of them being equals.

'Too aggressive,' she decided. Instead, she crossed her legs and rested her hands lightly in her lap. Not defensive, just defended. Casual… confident… strong.

Just like she'd been taught.

"Have a little phone trouble earlier?" Jacquelyn asked.

Andrea thought about what she might say if asked about cutting Jackie off earlier. 'Sorry, I was going through a tunnel' was tempting. 'Busy with your big project' was, too. One thing she knew she didn't want to do was apologize. If anything, Jackie would be disappointed with her for acting weak.

She decided to ignore the question and launch her own counterattack instead.

"Did you know?" she asked simply.

Again, Andrea had thought about lots of possible responses. Maybe Jacquelyn would deny it, maybe she would play dumb and ask, 'Know about what?' Or maybe…

"Of course I did! It's my job to know everything around here."

…maybe she would be her usual direct self.

"Why?" said Andrea.

"Why what? Why take the case? It's our job, it's what we do. Why give it to you? Because you've earned it, it's a big opportunity, a big challenge and I think you're up to it."

Andrea was flattered, but it still didn't feel like the whole answer.

"But that's not what you're asking, is it?" said Jacquelyn. "You want to know why I lied to you, right?"

Andrea nodded.

Jacquelyn leaned back and put her hands behind her head, rubbing her scalp through her thick hair. "I'll tell you why, Ms Mason. Firstly, because I knew you would dither, and lying to you was the easiest way to get you in the room."

Andrea bristled at Jacquelyn's suggestion that she would have 'dithered'... in part because she knew deep down that it was true. But that didn't mean she had to like hearing someone else say it.

"So you're saying you lied to me for my own good?" she asked.

"Of course not! The second reason I lied is because the powerful people pulling the strings on behalf of your young Mr Wynn wanted me to. I don't know how that boy has so many powerful favors to call in, but now they owe me a couple of favors. I'd probably have done it anyway for your sake, so getting to make some powerful friends at the same time… That's an easy choice." Jackie shrugged as though it was the most obvious choice in the world.

"So you betrayed me for the sake of influence?" Andrea asked, irritated that Jackie didn't seem the least bit guilty about her actions.

"Betrayed?" Jacquelyn scoffed. "Grow up! So I lied, I tricked you into a meeting you'd have gone to anyway if you have any sense and maybe set you up to embarrass yourself a little. You still could have walked out anytime, you could have told that boy to take a running jump… Instead it sounds like you've been running all over the place acting like you've already decided to take the case. So are you going to?"

Andrea ignored the question. She wasn't ready to move on to talking about the case, she had more she needed to say first.

"I don't like being manipulated," she said firmly.

"Good for you," Jacquelyn replied. "Neither do I." She leaned forward and pointed a well manicured finger at Andrea. "The question is, what are you going to do about it?"

When Andrea hesitated, Jackie continued. "You want to give me an ultimatum, a threat. I can feel it. You don't just dislike being lied to, you don't like feeling like you can't trust me anymore. Well, consider that a lesson learned. You shouldn't have trusted me in the first place. I like you, kid, I think you have potential. I won't screw you over if I can help it. But you can trust that I'll lie to you again if I think it's the right thing to do.

"But if you want to issue an ultimatum, you need leverage. So what have you got? Are you going to quit on principle? For the sake of truth and honesty? Leave that boy to face his trial without your help because you got your feelings hurt?"

Andrea thought for a moment. "I'm not going to quit over this, not right now." She tried to look and sound as stern and confident as she could. "But I promise you, Jacquelyn, if I find out you've lied to me again, we're going to have another conversation, and if I don't like your reasons, then you bet I'll quit so fast it'll make your head spin!"

A slow satisfied smile crept across Jacquelyn's face. "Attagirl," she said. "I believed you meant that. You drew a line in the sand and told me what would happen if I crossed it, and you left yourself a little wiggle room in case there's a time you agree I was right to lie to you. Now you can trust me to be honest with you, unless I think you'll think the lie was worth it.

"But one last thing." Somehow Jacquelyn grew even more intense. "You might find a time where you think it would be very poetic to lie to ME, and tell me that it's for my own good… In case you need it saying, you had better be damn sure I'm going to agree with you, or it's not going to be my head spinning, am I clear?"

"Crystal clear," said Andrea.

"Wonderful," said Jackie, clapping her hands together. "So we can all be friends again and move forward. Isn't that nice?"

Andrea had to ask. "Is this how you treat everyone? So… transactionally?"

"Welcome to the game, Andrea. If you're not willing to be a player then you're a pawn. Principles are wonderful things, but they should never stop you from doing what needs to be done."

Andrea thought she could see what Jacquelyn meant, but didn't like it much. Ever since she had met Jacquelyn, she had wanted to be like her. Now she wasn't so sure. Now Andrea hoped that she could be better.

"So back to the question of the day," Jacquelyn said. "Are you going to take the case?"

"I'm still deciding," Andrea admitted.

"Still dithering, you mean," snorted Jackie. "What did I tell you this morning about trusting your judgment? Do you just want me to order you to take the case?"

"No." Andrea shook her head. "No, this is something I need to decide for myself."

"Damn right it is. You're not any use to anyone if you're not invested. Look at it this way," she said, holding up a finger in turn. "First, it's the right choice for your career. This is a huge opportunity to take a step into the big leagues.

"Second, no matter what happens, you've got the potential of making some powerful friends yourself, if you play your cards right. If Mr Wynn has that kind of weight to throw around just to hire you, imagine how grateful he'll be if you win?

"And third, I know you want to. McCabe doesn't think it can be done, but you're stubborn enough and bull-headed enough to do it if anyone can.

"So what do you say? Are you in?"

Andrea stood up. "I say, 'Thank you for the advice, Ms Wojciechowski.' I will take it under consideration."

"As you wish, Ms Mason. Just don't keep that boy in suspense too long."

* * *

The police precinct wasn't so very far from the courthouse, but it was a detour from her usual route home, especially to go there this late at night.

It took a while to convince the officer on the desk that she couldn't wait until the morning, but he relented when she explained that it wouldn't be necessary to go to all the trouble of prepping an interview room.

She didn't usually have any cause to visit the actual cells at the police station, but these were unique circumstances. The lights had been dimmed a little from their usual daytime brightness to make it easier for the inmates to sleep. For safety's sake, it was still kept bright enough that the guards could see all the prisoners clearly, so most of them had their faces to the wall and backs for the bars to try and shield their faces from the light.

That was just how Kyle was laid, hardly enough room for him on the narrow prison bunk. The guard rapped once on the bars before stepping back to watch the rest of his charges.

Kyle twisted around at the noise, bleary eyed. He looked Andrea up and down with a sleepy expression before closing his eyes again and flopping down on his back.

"I like this dream," he said aloud.

"Should I come back later?" Andrea asked.

Kyle turned his head to her and frowned, still squinting sleepily. He reached up to rub his face and blinked a couple of times. After a moment, his brain seemed to catch up with what his eyes were telling him and a delighted grin slowly spread across his face.

…like a rising sun.

"Hey, Blondie," he said, his voice still a little croaky from waking. "It is always a pleasure to see you. They got you doing overtime making house calls?"

Andrea crouched down next to the bars so she could be more at eye level without him needing to get up. He looked exhausted. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, can't complain. I took your advice, tried to catch some shut eye." He gave a huge stretching yawn. "I wish I'd known you were coming, I would have tidied up the place."

Andrea looked around at the bare cell. It somehow felt even more stark and spartan than the interview rooms. "Yeah, this place is a real mess. You should have them send the maid for you."

"I'll take it up with the management," he agreed. "So did you have more questions for me, or is this just a social call?"

"Well, I made a promise earlier, and I figured you'd prefer I didn't keep you waiting."

"That's very considerate of you." Kyle's grin faded a little and he took a deep breath. He looked like he was steeling himself. "Does that mean you have an answer for me?"

"Yes," she said. "Get some sleep, Mr Wynn. You've got an appointment with your defense attorney in the morning."

Kyle was blinking a lot as he smiled at her. Was he trying to hold back tears?

"Thank you, Andrea," he said quietly. "I know I'll have sweet dreams now."

She nodded and, impulsively, gave him a wink. Then she stood up and walked back to the officer who had been waiting for her.

She didn't know how she was going to win this case. She didn't know if she was going to regret taking it.

But she was glad she hadn't waited until the morning. That had been a smile worth taking a detour for.