Nothing To Him

*Charm's POV*

"Bakit kayo nagpunta dun, Charm??"

"A-ano bang sinasabi mo, Kuya?"

He's here in front of me at hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot ko sa mga tanong niya.

"I know you went to the hospital with Theia."

Paano niya nalaman?

"Tama ako diba?"

Lie.

"We stayed here. Hindi kami umalis sa bahay."

Ayaw ko siyang tignan sa mata habang nagsasalita dahil mahahalata niyang nagsisinungaling ako.

"Are you sure?" Tanong niya. "Kapag tinanong ko ba si Manang o Kuya Rod, sasabihin rin nilang hindi kayo umalis??"

Si Kuya Rod yung naghatid sa'min sa ospital. I even told Manang na aalis kami. Alam nila yung totoo at ayaw kong magsinungaling rin sila para sa'min.

"Look at me in the eye and say that again, Charm."

Hindi ko kaya..

"Charm, please."

"..."

"Just tell me the truth!"

But I couldn't.

"You don't want to talk?" Sabi niya. "Fine. I'll ask Theia myself."

"Kuya!"

Humarang ako sa hagdan bago pa siya makaakyat.

Hindi pwede! Malalaman niyang umiyak siya.

She wouldn't be able to handle this right now.

"Umalis ka dyan, Charm."

"No."

"If you don't want to tell me, just get out of my way."

He waited but I kept blocking his way.

"Charmaine!"

"Okay! Okay!"

I give up.

What's the point of lying and keeping this away from him kung alam narin naman niya?

"Oo na. Pumunta kami sa ospital." I said. "She wanted to see him."

"I knew it!"

"I'm sorry. I don't have a choice."

Mali ako ng sinabi. There was a choice.

But it wasn't for me to choose. Si Theia lang ang may karapatang pumili.

"Bakit mo siya pinayagan??"

"What do you want me to do, Kuya? Stop her?"

"Of course. Yun ang tamang gawin, Charm." He said. "Yun ang dapat na ginawa mo."

Alam kong yun ang tama pero yun nga ba yung dapat gawin?

"Alam mo ding hindi natin pwedeng pigilan si Theia."

"Edi sana sinabi mo manlang sa'kin." Sabi niya. "You know how much I hate it kapag may tinatago kayo sa'kin."

"I know." I finally had the courage to looked at him kasi totoo na yung mga sinasabi ko. "But I couldn't say no to her lalo na't matagal niya nang gustong makita si Nathan."

He looked so frustrated.

"I'm sorry hindi ko nasabi. Ayaw ko lang namang mag away kayo." Sabi ko. "Hindi ko rin naman siya hinayaang pumunta mag-isa. Kaya please, wag ka nang magalit Kuya."

Huminga siya ng malalim.

I'm trying to gauge his reaction for a moment and let my arms fall when he seemed to calm down.

"How is she?" He asked. "Kanina pa siya nasa kwarto simula nung tumawag ako."

Lie, Charm. Lie.

"I told her to rest." Sagot ko. "Mukha siyang napagod pagpunta namin dun."

"Wala bang nangyari sa ospital?"

"Nothing in particular." I said. "Sinilip lang naman niya si Nathan tapos umalis narin kami."

"Hindi ba kayo nakita nila Naomi?"

"Hindi."

Kapag umoo ako, patuloy lang siyang magtatanong kung anong nangyari at yun yung iniiwasan ko.

I thought it was over but he sighed.

"Charm, I'm going to give you another chance." He sounded serious again.

Am I not convincing?

"Hindi nila kayo nakita?"

"Hi-hindi.."

Kinakabahan nanaman ako ulit.

"Let me through." Sabi niya. "I want to make sure she's okay."

I automatically held my arms up. I really don't want to do this pero kailangan.

Kailangan kong protektahan si Theia.

"You're not letting me see her." He noticed. "May hindi ba ko dapat malaman kaya mo to ginagawa?"

Alam niya.

He knows the truth. That was another test. For some reason, alam niyang nakita kami nila Ate Naomi.

How can I lie to him if he knew na nagsisinungaling ako?

"Kuya, just this once." I pleaded. "Listen to me."

"No, Charm. Ikaw dapat ang makinig sa'kin. You should tell me everything that happened."

"But.."

"Kanina ka pa nakaharang dyan. Ano bang tinatago niyo sa'kin?"

Karapatan mo mang malaman, wala naman akong karapatang sabihin sa'yo.

"Charm, get out of my way." He said. "Kung hindi mo kayang sagutin yung tanong ko, I'll go ask Theia."

"If I tell you the truth, hindi ka na ba aakyat?"

Should I do this? But this is wrong.

"Tama na yan."

******

*Theia's POV*

"Bessy, hindi ka ba kakain?"

"Bessy, pansinin mo naman ako oh."

"Theia.."

"Just go, Charm."

"Theia naman.."

"I want to be alone."

"Pero..."

"Please."

I know she wants to do something for me pero gusto ko lang talaga mapag isa.

"Kahit ngayon lang, hayaan mo muna ako."

"If you need anything, nasa baba lang ako."

Gusto kong tumigil na sa pag iyak but no matter how hard I try, ayaw. Ayaw ng katawan kong tumahan.

He doesn't love me anymore and yet I'm missing him.

Lahat yun para sa'kin.

He's letting me know na hindi niya ko kailangan, na wala siyang pakialam kung hindi niya na ko maalala, na hindi na ko importante sa kanya.

I am nothing to him.

I was just a part of his life. A life he forgotten.

A memory he doesn't even want to remember.

Si Ivy lang ang mahal ko.

His words echoed inside my head.

This is new.

Hindi na yung masasayang alaala ng sinabi niya sa'kin yung naaalala ko. Kundi yung nakakasakit na.

Would these tears ever stop?

"Kuya!"

"Umalis ka dyan, Charm."

"Charm? Kuya?"

Tumayo ako at lumapit pintuan.

Anong nangyayari? Bakit ang lalakas ng boses nila?

I carefully opened the door at dahan dahang naglakad papunta sa may hagdan.

"Wala bang nangyari sa ospital?"

His question made me stop.

Ang daming nangyari.

"Sinilip lang naman niya si Nathan tapos umalis narin kami."

"Hindi ba kayo nakita nila Naomi?"

"Hindi."

She's lying for me.

I peeked and saw Charm standing on the stairs. Hinaharangan niya si Kuya.

"Charm, I'm going to give you another chance." He said. "Hindi nila kayo nakita?"

Si Ate. Sinabi niya na pumunta kami pero mukhang hindi alam ni Kuya yung nangyari.

"Hi-hindi.."

"Let me through." Sabi niya. "Gusto kong makasiguro na okay lang siya."

Hinarang ni Charm yung kamay niya sa hagdan.

"You're not letting me see her." He said. "May hindi ba ko dapat malaman kaya mo to ginagawa?"

"Kuya, just this once. Listen to me."

"No, Charm. Ikaw dapat ang makinig sa'kin." Sabi niya. "You should tell me everything that happened."

"Kanina ka pa nakaharang dyan. Ano bang tinatago niyo sa'kin?"

"But.."

"Kung hindi mo kayang sagutin yung tanong ko, I'll go ask Theia."

"If I tell you the truth, hindi ka na ba aakyat?"

She's protecting me.

"Tama na yan."

Kuya's eyes darted to me. Charm even turned around para tignan ako.

"Charm, it's okay." Hinawakan ko yung kamay niya. "You can remove your hands now."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded and she slowly moved out of the way.

"You can go now, Charm." I said and looked at my brother. "Kailangan pa naming mag usap ni Kuya."

***

"Bakit ba kailangan niyo umalis ng hindi sinasabi sa'kin??"

"I'm sorry.." I looked down.

"You told Charm didn't you?" Sabi niya. "Sinabihan mo siyang wag sabihin sa'kin?"

I slowly nodded my head.

"Why would you do that?" He asked. "Nagagawa niyo nang maglihim at magsinungaling sa'kin."

"Kuya, hindi naman sa ganun."

"Diba napag usapan na nating hindi mo pupuntahan si Nathan?" He said. "You promised me."

"I didn't promise you anything." Sabi ko. "You told me that I could see him after I rested for three days at pinuntahan ko lang siya pagtapos nun."

"No." He glared at me. "You disobeyed me by going to him nang hindi ko alam. You could've been hurt. Hindi mo manlang inisip yung kalagayan mo."

"That's why I didn't tell you." I told him. "You always overreact."

"I don't." Sagot niya. "Do you even know what haunts me every single time? Yung nawalan ka ng malay pati yung duguang paa mo. Lahat yun nangyari sa harapan ko nung kasama mo siya sa ospital."

"You need to stop this, Kuya." I said. "You have to stop worrying about me all the time. And I didn't get hurt. I'm fine."

Physically.

My mind corrected me.

Wala akong sugat sa katawan pero meron sa parteng di niya nakikita.

At hindi niya na kailangang malaman yun.

"How could I? Paano kung may nangyari nga?" He asked. "Do you think I wouldn't do anything?"

"Nothing happened okay??" I answered. "Sinilip ko lang siya tapos umuwi na kami ni Charm."

"Wala ba talaga?"

"Wala."

Walang nangyari.

Yun lang dapat yung paniwalaan mo.

"Really?"

"Wala nga!"

He won't be able to argue since wala naman talaga siyang alam bukod sa pagpunta namin. Ate didn't had the chance to tell him.

"Fine." He said. "Hindi mo na siya pwedeng puntahan. This will be the last."

"Kuya, you heard what Charm said." Habang tumatagal, nagagalit na ko sa kanya. "Hindi mo ko pwedeng ilayo kay Nate."

"Hangga't hindi siya okay, hinding hindi kayo pwedeng magkita."

"What??"

"Hangga't di ako siguradong hindi ka niya sasaktan, hindi pwede."

"Bakit ka ganyan?" I asked. "You're making me really angry!"

"Kasi Kuya mo ako."

"But.."

"No buts." He said while looking at me. "Hinding hindi ka na makakapunta or makakalapit sa kanya. I won't let you get hurt lalo na't siya ang dahilan."

"Ugh! I really hate you!" Inirapan ko siya. "Hirap na hirap na ko tapos ganyan ka pa?"

Mukha ding pagod na siya pero hindi ba pwedeng suportahan niya nalang ako??

"Si Nathan lang ang nakalimot, Kuya." I said. "Siya lang ang nakalimot na minahal niya ako, na naging kami. Pero ako, ano? Naaalala ko parin lahat. Ang alam ko, kami parin. Ang alam ko, mahal parin niya ako."

I walked out.

Hindi ko siya nilingon at dumiretso ako paakyat sa kwarto.

I couldn't tell him what happened in the hospital.

He can't find it out no matter what.

Kung nasaktan ako sa mga narinig ko, alam kong hindi lang siya masasaktan, magagalit pa siya at hinding hindi niya mapapatawad si Nate.

I won't ever let that happen.

******