66

Harry stared in shock, this being not what he expected to happen, "I'm so sorry."

"We lost him." Henry says.

"No-no-no- He could've gotten knocked somewhere or maybe even run somewhere." Cisco denied, not wanting to believe that we had just lost Barry, running and checking GPS signals from the screen in front of him, "Nothing on the GPS."

Within a few minutes, Harry, Iris, and Joe were running to find what had happened with Jesse and Wally, Henry soon going to give Jesse his best medical attention.

I slowly stood up, as Cisco looked at me with sorrowful eyes. "I- I have to go." I stutter, a small cough leaving my mouth as I turn to walk away.

"Zee-" Cisco starts to say, as I cut him off, looking at him. "I- I'll be back later- I just- can't be here right now." I told him, before leaving star labs and getting to my apartment as quickly as I could.

I step into my apartment, kicking off my shoes, sitting onto my couch.

My eyes drift to the arm of the couch, where they landed on one of Barry's sweatshirts, tears filling my eyes by just the sight of it. My hands shakily grabbed onto it, as I held it to my chest tightly, squeezing my eyes shut, letting out a choked sob.

Barry Allen was actually gone. And he left at the worst time. He left trying to become whole again. He left while me being upset. He left with me being in the worst mood, being rude to both him and everyone else. He never knew why I was upset. He never found out.

I never told him I love him. I never listened to him as much as I should've. I argued too much with him. I let my emotions out so much that he was always preoccupied with me.

There was so many things I regretted. And now, he wasn't here for me to fix any of it.

Whatever had upset me before, still had me upset, but the fact that I was still upset about it or could ever be upset about something like this especially when Barry politely turned her down and told Iris he was happy with me, made me even more upset with myself.

.

My thoughts were interrupted when there was a knock at my door. I slowly got up, walking to the door, opening it to be greeted by Iris West.

"Hey-" I say weakly and quietly, my voice raspy from crying so much.

She gives me a pained smile, her voice also quietly and broken, "Hey. I thought you might need a friend."

I blink long and hard, before opening the door wider, "Come in."

She walks in slowly, as I close the front door, looking at her, as she speaks again, "I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay." I simply say, my entire mood going blank, as I dropped Barry's sweatshirt back onto the couch, wiping my tears with my sleeve, sitting on the arm of the couch, clapping my hands together as I let out a sigh.

"I've been thinking a lot recently- with everything that's been going on- and everything I've seen-" She started, "And I ended up telling Barry that I had feelings for him. Now, I would never try to come between you two-"

"I know." I quietly say.

"I don't know what I was thinking- and I could tell it really bothered you when I said what I said before everything went down and- I'm sorry. I am. I just felt the need to tell him before something like this happened. And it did happen. I'm not even sure if I mean it, it's probably just a phase." She says, "I'm sorry."

"A phase where you have feelings for my boyfriend?" I ask her, "Is that why you couldn't go on that date that one day? Not because of Eddie- but because of Barry?"

She stays silent for a while, before speaking up quietly, "I'm . I don't want to get between you two- because I love you two together- I've been wanting you two together since he came out of his coma last year. I don't know what's up with me- but I know this will pass. I don't want to break you guys up- I just felt like I was keeping something from you guys if I didn't say anything about it. And I was completely out of line when I said what I said right in front of you. I'm sorry."

I stay silent for a second, before looking at her, "It's okay." I tell her, "I'm not upset with you. You don't need to apologize to me. I feel like I should be upset with you- but I understand where you're coming from. I can't be upset with you for any of it."

She goes silent as I speak up again, "I wasn't upset with either of you. I was just upset that because- you're right. Maybe you guys meant to be together. Your future's are rewritten together. Which means Barry and I obviously don't last, Iris. It's only a matter of time- and that's what got to me."

"Don't say that." She says, "Don't say- you and Barry won't last. I know you will. You guys- are the ones who are meant for each other. You guys are the ones who are supposed to get married. You two have such- a good relationship- and always find your way back to each other. Whatever the future has in store for you- it's not this." Iris denied.

I go silent, not ready to argue with her about what the future has in store for Barry and I, and how the future can't be changed. I give her a sly nod, "Fine."

She nods slowly and hugs me tight, as her broken voice speaks, "I can't believe he's gone."

"I can't either." I say quietly, closing my eyes as I hugged her back, holding back tears.

We both pull away, as she looks at me, "You need to get some sleep, okay?"

I give her a nod, before she leaves, as I lock the front door, before taking a long shower, then moving to my room, laying in bed, in hopes of falling asleep.

-

"Barry's alive- and in the Speed Force?" Are the first words that leave my mouth as I walked into the cortex a few hours later after not being able to sleep, dressed in a pair of sweatpants, a white cropped t shirt, and one of Barry's jean jackets, my feet wearing slip on vans, my hair being in a messy bun. My eyes were slightly puffy and red, the bags under my eyes existing due to the lack of sleep I got last night, this being the worst I've looked in a while.

"Yes. And- remember Tony?" Cisco asked me, as I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets.

"Should I?" I ask him, my eyes squinted in suspicion, my mind not clicking on who he was.

Iris nods, "Crazy strong- man of steel- kinda dude? Had a huge crush on me last year-?"

"Oh- yeah, him." I say, as if I did know who they were talking about.

"So you do remember?" Cisco questioned.

My lips form into a pout as I look away, in thought, before looking back at them, "No."

A playful eye roll comes from Cisco, "Well- he's now a . You're the only actual- somewhat trained meta that might be able to help."

"Can't you just- breach him somewhere?" I ask, staring at him, my ideas out of wack due to the lack of sleep.

"It doesn't work that way, Zee- I can't just breach him to another place where he can continue his destruction." Cisco told me.

"It's not like I can just him, Cisco." I pathetically laughed lightly in amusement.