A dream? Or a lost memory?

By the time the funeral was finish, we all drove home quietly. I miss them already. The moment we arrived at my grandparents house, I dashed up to my room and changed to something more comfortable. I'm emotionally, mentally and physically worn out. I lay on my bed face flat. Will I ever find happiness? I glanced on the door. My eyes flutters and slowly drifting to sleep.

"Lily! Let's play inside your room." A boy probably at the age of five jovially suggested and without hesitation I nodded. We both entered and sat comfortably on my bed. I grabbed my Barbie doll from the nightstand and happily dressed her up. While Timmy on the other hand, played a box of Lego's. My Barbie doll was taken away from my grasp, stunned. I glance at him and he's standing at the far end corner of the room, with my Barbie doll in his hand. I looked up to meet his eyes. He gives me an impish grin.

"Get it from me Lily." He jests, and stuck his tongue out causing my veins to boil in rage. I stood up and ran after him. I grabbed his shirt when he swiftly dodged me. I groan in frustration. I grabbed him again when he was too fast to catch.

"Timmy! Give it to me! Or else, I'm going to drag you to hell if you don't! " I yelled. I frown at him while I crossed my arms to my chest, and to my disbelief, he laughed his ass off. He covered his abdomen with his arms and there were tears forming in the corner of his eyes, for laughing to hard. His laughter echoed throughout the room, it was so irritating that I had the most brilliant plan. I ran after him. His eyes widens in shock and he scooted out of my bed. The box of Lego's fell down and its content scattered along the floor. And to my dismay, I stepped on one. I whimpered in pain as my feet pulsates in agony. In the corner of my eyes Timmy hastily approached me, with a concern expression.

"Are you all right Lily? Are you hurt." he asked worriedly while he placed my Barbie doll on my bed and he helped me stand up. Enemy down, so down. I grin in my thoughts. He examined my knee then ankle.

"You seem fine." he grinned and without hesitation I pushed him. I trotted to my bed and took my Barbie doll and covered myself with a pillow using it as a shield. Timmy was on the floor frowning and I giggled and stuck my tongue out to him. He stood up with a wicked expression on his face and I squinted my eyes on him. I hugged my Barbie doll firmly and he dashed in front of me. And I covered myself with the pillow when he threw the pillow across the room and started tickling me to death.

Knock knock... Knock... knock...

I pry my eyes open and sat up. Another weird dream. I sigh. "Come in."

"Olivia, it's time to eat dinner." Granny said and I nodded. I stood up and Granny and I both descended the stairs.

I sat at the opposite of Granny while Gramps sat in the middle. The only noises we heard was our spoon and fork clanking. If my parents where here, my dad would crack jokes, trying to make my mom and I laugh. He'd also tell my mom how his day went in his office and my mom would listen whole heartedly. Then they'll ask me how school was, and they'd ask when they'll see Dylan again. I terribly miss them. Although there was a time when Dylan came over for dinner and he helped my mom cook. And we'd all chow down. Then my parents would banter how cute we are together. Also they'd tell us they don't want to have kids yet and we should graduate college first and find a stable job. When they said those words in-front of me while Dylan was beside me. Made me want to incinerate in my chair because I felt completely embarrassed, but I know they're only informing us. But still, it's too straightforward.

"Olivia," Gramps called, I looked up at him, bringing me back to reality. "We transferred you to your old school here, remember where you studied, during elementary? Because your Granny and I don't want you driving two and a half hours to your previous school. We hope it's alright with you?"

"That's great. Thank you." I say, feeling relief because I won't see Dylan in school.

"Oh by the way. First day of school starts the next day, Olivia." My granny says. "You can roam around the neighborhood or go to your favorite ice cream shop around the corner.

"It's still here?" I ask in surprise, I guess some things never change.

"Oh yes of course..." Gramps smile. "It became the most famous Ice cream here in town."

"I'll check tomorrow." I smile thinking of the strawberry ice cream, slowly melting on my mouth is totally heavenly. I wish my parents brought me here often especially the weekends,

But they never did, not even once.

Sooner or later we were done eating. I helped Granny with the dishes and then sauntered in my room, I'm lying on my bed, holding my phone in my hand.

Is he looking for me? I wondered. Well, probably not. I felt a tear run down my cheek. Crying over a boy is definitely not worth your tears Felicity Olivia Robertson. I placed my phone inside the drawer where it belongs. This is part of moving on.

֍֍֍

I turned left, then right. I punched my pillow in frustration. I snap my eyes open and stared at the ceiling. I couldn't sleep. My tears run down my cheeks like ceaseless rain, making my eyes puffy like clouds, and the never ending labyrinthine in my chest made it hard to breath. I sat up and the lamp post from outside the window made a dull light, somehow illuminating my room. Glancing at my digital clock on the left, instead I found brown boxes. It escaped my mind that I'm in my childhood room. I glance at the right and there I found the red digital clock, saying ten in the evening. I sigh in frustration and pushed the covers to the side. I stood up and grabbed my slacks on top of my study desk and rummaged through the boxes, searching for my jacket. I need to take a walk and gain peaceful mind or else I'd lose my mind. The moment I found my maroon jacket, I wore it and my sneakers.

I wiped my tears away and tip toed while descending down the stairs hoping not to wake my grandparents. Though I know they're humbly asleep in their room. I turned the flashlight on from my phone because the hallway was too dusky to see anything clear. Finally, I reached the bottom and sauntered to the front door. I twist the cold doorknob and widely opened it. My hair slapped my face when the cool windy breeze passed by. I stepped outside and gently closed the door shut.

The lamp post illuminated the streets with warm yellow-orangey color. Then I let my feet decide where to go. I turned to my right and started ambling on the sidewalk, without a destination in mind because I'm not familiar with the place. I slip both my hands in my jacket's pocket.

I was the only one walking in the street while a few cars passes by. I glance up and stared at the dark grayish cloud sky. I smiled, the weather feels like my life at the moment. It's dark, dull and it was like miasma obscuring the glittering stars.

Misery, the heart ache plagued my heart and soul as it told me, I'd never see their warm smiles, their funny teasing jokes, the fact that they'll never see me graduate, and even if I ever get married. I'd probably end up as a nun. Well in short I'd never see them again. Just the mere thought of it sends every single organs turn to a helix, squeezing the inside of me. I sat down and hugged my legs together. When tears burst out of my eyes. Just in, a roar of thunder erupt in the sky. And all at once the rain poured hard, soaking me wet. My hair sticking to my cheeks. Then I knew.

I need to let this out.

Rage began to fill my mind and soul. Why does the world have to take them away from me?! And the hell with my ex-boyfriend of mine! He should be here when I needed him the most, but he's with her. Damn him and his promises. Damn this life of mine. Damn everything, and damn these tears!

"Shit!" Someone yelled in a distance.

I look down. And on my hand, small size pebble with dirt, realizing I was in the midst of throwing it. Unclaspsing my hand, the small pebble fell onto the concrete floor.

Dammit, what in the crap am I doing? Hitting people with rocks?

I glance in front of me and there was a guy, standing a few feet away.

He was also soaking wet. I stared at him and he fiercely look at me with squinty eyes. His hair sticking on his forehead. The light coming from the lamp post behind me made him looked fierce. I glance to his chest, he wore a jersey shirt that bond with his body that showed his masculinity. He wasn't bulky in fact, he's lean and well fitted. His chest rose and fell, as if he ran a marathon, and his six pack abs appeared under his shirt. I quickly went back to his eyes. He was still staring at me, but then I glance at his right hand that's curled into a ball.

"I...I'm sorry." I stammered.

"K," He murmured and walked away. Suddenly he halts mid-step and glances at me over his shoulder. "You should probably change, you're a compete mess." He yelled and continued to walk away.

Complete mess? I know I'm a complete mess but does he have to rub it in! What a complete jerk! I clench my hands forcing myself not to go after him and throw a pebble on his face.

I heavily sighed, my jacket is completely soaking and it hung onto me like an anchor weighing a ton on my shoulder.

I turned around and headed back home. I had enough for one night.