Doubts and Identity (2)

"WHO ARE you?"

It was just three words, three words that made it seem like time has stopped for a moment as the silence surrounding us became unbearable.

I always think thag I like to stay away from trouble and that I have all the luck in the world, well, aside from my past life situation. Still, I believe I still have some luck left.

Well, that luck seem to be running out now.

Avril's eyes seemingly became still, like she is gazing at me almost peering through the very depths of my soul, almost like a doll if you will.

You know, those creepy ones that looks life-like and stares at you for far too long at night. That one.

I don't want to stare back but I was a little competitive, which is a bad habit of mine, as I feel a shiver run down my spine in anticipation. I fidget uncomfortably in my seat while staring back at her unwavering gaze.

I think I regret asking that.

"I should be the one asking you that, My Lady." She spoke, her voice cold as it rang in my ears.

'HUH?!'

I flinched slightly but I also kept my ground, staring straight into Avril's eyes.

I feel like if I looked away, the conversation will be treated as if it never happened.

After a few moments, her staring at me while I stare back, never backing down, as she slowly sighs and shake her head.

I mentally raise my arms and put on a proud face.

'I won!'

"Do not worry, I am not an enemy."

I snapped out of it as I became serious, though it was hard to be one, as I place my elbows on the table and linked my fingers together, placing my chin on top as I spoke.

"That cannot be decided based on words alone."

Avril slowly smiled and nodded at me, she looks slightly proud and I don't know why but I will accept it.

"As I have expected, you are quick to catch on." She said as the smile disappears from her face.

I huffed proudly, like a horse that was praised, as I cross my arms and became more confident.

"Did you deliberately told me this so I could confront you?"

"Maybe."

I don't know what mind games Avril is playing but I don't have the capacity to solve it right now.

Anyway, after Avril said that, the tone in the room completely shifted as Avril grabs all the books on the table to return it to the tower of books.

I didn't realize that it was late afternoon now and dinner will be presented shortly.

"I think that is enough history telling for today, don't you think so, My Lady?" She stated instead, clearly avoiding my question.

"You are avoiding my question, Avril."

She turned to me after I said that, an amused expression on her usual stoic face as she arranges the books and spoke.

"I am not, My Lady. I am simply not answering it."

"What difference does that makes? Your silence is just the confirmation that there might something else I have to know."

'Besides, the more you choose not to answer, the more I am curious about your identity!'

I almost pout, like the child that I am, as I cross my arms and stare at Avril.

She seem to be a little pressured by my pouting, or she was just simply annoyed, as she sighs and puts her hands on her waist. I can already see a lecture coming in but...

"My Lady, you said that you have to know, but do you need it?"

I pursed my lips and didn't say a word after. I mean, what am I going to say? I was really curious but I don't need it at the moment.

Will it help me to get close to my sisters? Avoid events that are in the novel?

N.O...but it makes me all the more curious!

"Having is not the same as needing. If you just have to know more, you are free to do so but think about it very carefully, My Lady." Avril added as she placed the last book before returning to my side.

But…

"Why are you acting like I could trust you?"

Avril paused for a moment, her eyes travelling from the books to me as I stare at her, unwavering.

It is no surprise that I did get along with her, but that doesn't mean that I would trust her immediately.

With the way she acts and talk, it seems like her previous job before being my maid has some kind of relation with the history of the kingdom, seeing that she knows too much but kept silent.

"It is because you could trust me, My Lady."

'Trust…'

Why is that such a strong word in my vocabulary now?

Was it because of what happened in my past life? When I was pushed to that train leading to my death? Probably.

I inwardly closed my eyes and tried to remove that thought. I admit it, I am scared of death. It was not warm nor was it welcoming, it was cold instead.

It was even worse when I feel like I still know how I died, but that shouldn't scare me as much as the possibility of dying once more.

If I am going to die, I want it to be of old age!

I sighed and shake my head at Avril, turning my head as I looked out the window and saw the marvelous color of the sky turning into night. The stars slowly showed up and the moon is peeking behind them, waiting for the sun to completely disappear.

I fully accepted my reality now, and to learn more about the world behind the novel, I should probably trust Avril.

After all, isn't she the only person I could rely on?

"Fine. Let's go to supper now, Avril." I said as I turned my head towards her and stood up from the chair.

Avril gradually let out a smile, "As you wished, My Lady."

I rolled my eyes and pouted, crossing my arms as I look elsewhere, my eyes into slits.

"And you are right, again." I half-heartedly confessed and murmured it under my breath, but Avril heard it and smiled slightly before bowing.

"I always am, My Lady."

"Where did you get that confidence from?" I asked her as I raise an eyebrow at her shining eyes.

She tilted her head, "Where else would I have this if not for My Lady?"

"Are you saying that I have the same confidence?"

"You said that, not me."

"Avril!"