Chapter 1 : I'm Reincarnated But
Have you ever felt regret but couldn't go back in time to assuage it? Well, that's my situation right now.
My name is Kiyoshi. I'm 18 years old, male, just your everyday passerby. I thought I lived a good life—or at least, that's what I remember. Because right now, I'm standing in front of a god. How do I know it's a god? Because the being in front of me is indescribable and powerful. Just looking at it makes me want to pass out. And right now, yeah, I'm dead. Absolutely dead. Super dead.
If I try to remember, the cause of my death is that I accidentally slipped in the bathroom, hit my head on the ground, and died on the spot. Funny, right? Well, it's not funny to me.
I was very angry. I was trying to lose my virginity at the time, damn it! Thinking of my girlfriend waiting naked in the bedroom while my dead body lay in the bathroom makes me depressed.
I think I lived my last life as a good person. I was very filial to my parents, did good deeds every day, and participated in charity every week. And this is my fate?!
God really treated me unjustly. I want to tear him apart and feed him to the fish, but it's God, you know. I'm powerless against him. So I can only stand in place like a statue.
"So, I've been reviewing your life. I sense your good karma is the brightest, so I brought you here."
Good karma? What use is that anyway? I'm still a virgin because of that. I was so close too. It's driving me crazy.
"Actually, it's not your time to die yet. But because of some damage I've suffered, affecting my inner world, many beings have died. Your imbalance happened because of that. Usually, all the dead in my world go through my reincarnation cycle. But because I see your bright karma, I felt pity for you. Maybe I can compensate you."
"How will you compensate me, then?"
"I see, you are not mute. I thought you couldn't speak, standing still like a statue."
It's because of you, dammit. It's so frustrating. I cannot retort, or I will cease to exist.
"I can reincarnate you into the True Universe."
"True Universe? What's that?"
"Actually, the world you came from is my inner world. I use your world to supply my mystical power. That's why your world is devoid of qi. The True Universe is where all worlds are naturally born, not handmade like my world. That world can regenerate qi in the air endlessly and can be used by all living beings. The True Universe is also protected by the Great Dao. In your world, the True Universe is referred to as an immortal cultivation world."
My eyes sparkled as I remembered some manga from my past life, especially the cultivation manga. The idea of being stronger than anyone else or even creating another world excites me.
Maybe I can get rid of my virginity, my only regret in that world. I want to be surrounded by girls or at least have one girl by my side.
"I want it. I want that. Please, God Almighty, reincarnate me into that place. And also, can I keep my memory?"
"Ugh, to keep your memory, you will have to rely on yourself. But maybe I can do some favors for you. I can strengthen your soul. It will have a great effect on you in the future."
Then the god flicked what seemed to be his finger, and I felt warmth all over my body—or my soul?
After that process, the god swung his hand, sending my soul to the nether realms.
The nether realms feel like a ghostly place. The environment is so gloomy, it's extremely terrifying. And what is this? The queue of souls waiting to be reincarnated is so damn long. At this point, I will go crazy before I can reincarnate.
And going crazy is the last thing I want. I have to find another way.
Maybe I should consider breaking in line? These souls seem to lack minds of their own, but the creatures guarding the line are terrifying.
After much consideration, I decide to break in line while carefully avoiding the guardians of hell. Before long, I arrive at the front of the line and break in, waiting to enter the Hall of Yama.
As I enter the Hall of Yama and am judged, I feel very terrified. If I'm honest, I know the legends of Yama and Meng Po, but the Yama in front of me looks like a demon from my last life. He is so terrifying that he makes my soul tremble.
"Your karma is very good. I see you've definitely been living a fruitful life, helping people. I will reincarnate you with good talent and into a wealthy family. So, go drink the soup and reincarnate," Yama says, his voice hoarse.
Just like that, I'm guided to drink the soup. I know this soup can wipe my memory, so I just pretend to drink it. For further safety, I act like I have no mind so I can get out of here safely. Shortly after that, I enter the reincarnation gate.
When I open my eyes, a bright light covers my vision. I see a burly, muscular man holding me. He must be my father in this lifetime. My father is quite handsome but has a fierce face.
Wow, he looks badass. With a face like that, every girl in my last life would swoon over him.
His face is smiling as he looks at the woman in front of him.
She must be my mother. I take a look at my mother and exclaim in amazement. She has silver hair, and she is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Compared to my girlfriend, it's like comparing pigshit to a beautiful panorama. The difference is like heaven and earth. I wonder why I was so blind to think my girlfriend was the most beautiful in the world. Whatever, maybe right now, she's just discovering my dead body in the bathroom. Ugh, just thinking about it makes my anger rise. Ah, on second thought, maybe my wife in this world will be so beautiful too. I will get engaged first, though. Yama said I reincarnated into a wealthy family. It seems like I hit the jackpot in this life.
"Isn't she cute like you, darling? I bet she will become the most beautiful woman in the world like you."
"Yes, dear, she is so cute. I hope she becomes a strong cultivator like you, dear."
What, what, WHAAAT? She, as in a woman? I'm a woman! Oh god, my dream, my goal, my harem—sh*t! What did I do to deserve this?
I am so frustrated that I start crying. I want to curse, but there is nothing the baby can do except cry.