Can’t speak.

Oikawa sat on his previously warm and comforting bed in his previously cozy room. Now everything was just cold and lifeless. Every single one of his belongings had been moved out except for the makeup that dauntingly rested on his bureau.

It was his wedding day, a day he had been looking forward to since he learned what marriage was. A day he was supposed to plan for upwards of two whole years in advance, he was supposed to pick everything down to the color of headbands the guests would wear. A day that was supposed to be the happiest day of his life….. yet it wasn't.

He wasn't happy.

He didn't look forward to it, he couldn't plan for it, and neither did he want to. He hadn't picked one color or decoration, he wasn't even allowed to pick the style of dress he was wearing. Forget the dress, he couldn't even pick out the man he'd spend the rest of his life with. That didn't make him happy.

Tooru forced himself to suck in a deep breath and walk over to the mirror that was hammered into his wooden walls. The small and short journey just solidified the aching feeling in his stomach at the fact all of his things were gone. He didn't even get to pick the things he wanted to keep, they just took everything, decided what he needed for his new life, and packed it into the carriages he and his husband would be riding to the South. He only had a small bag which he barely started to pack when he had to stop. It was for a trip to Europe which his brother promised to take him on before he sadly passed.

He looked himself over in the mirror. The pale golden dress was objectively beautiful, it would make most omegas feel pretty with its intricate design and pillowing skirt. But he didn't feel pretty at all, he felt sick to his stomach.

But he also didn't have the time to continue to be moping around in self-pity. The guards were going to barge into his room at any moment and he needed to have his makeup done when that happens, which he hadn't even started yet.

He picked up the buttery and pale substance and started patting it on his skin. He needed to cover up every single imperfection so he wasn't rejected and then could become actually worthless. When the skin-colored cream blended into his face like a second skin, he started working with the rouge. He stuck a finger into the red powder and then slapped a little dot on both of his cheeks. He patted them both in. It's funny how he took all color from his face with the cream and then mimicked his natural flush with the powder, but that was the beauty of makeup.

He put the finishing touches on his makeup and stood back to look at himself. He felt ugly, it felt like the makeup was caked into all his pores. He was ordered to do his makeup exactly like his mother wanted and has always not taken after his parent's likes.

BAAM

The omega jumped as his door was slammed open and three burly men walked in. The guards, he recognized.

"We are here to escort you to your ceremony and make sure you do not run away." The one in the middle and the closest to him bellowed.

"Um… I just need to go to the bathroom first." Tooru nervously answered--it was partly true, there was makeup all over his hands and he needed to wash it off, but he also needed to stall and give himself more time to breathe.

"We are not allowed to let you go outside of our sight, so we must accompany you there and inside. Do you still wish to go?" The guard on the left said a little more gently than the last.

"Yes, but shouldn't an omega accompany me instead?" The boy asked politely but still firmly as he wasn't going to be seen and helped half-naked by some random betas and alphas.

"Of course, I will go fetch some omegan servants." The one on the right and the smallest one offered.

So for a few minutes he was left alone in awkward silence with two large and scary men that were practically having a staring contest with the sitting omega.

Two new people barged into the room hurriedly, they were probably nearby seamstresses as he was never allowed actual servants, only guards.

"We will escort and help you to the bathroom, come." One of the girls said grabbing his wrist and pulling him along as the other picked up the ends of his dress so it wouldn't drag.

The guards ended up following them till the opening of the bathroom door and then waiting outside. The girls joined him in the stall and held his dress up as he excreted into the porcelain bowl. Everything was awkward and very uncomfortable but it was necessary so he just lived with embarrassment. After they washed their hands free of the makeup and germs, the three made their way out of the bathroom to the guards.

"Ok, we will now accompany you to the ceremony." The biggest of them said and motioned for the omega to walk ahead.

He just nodded and bowed to the ladies as thanks. They immediately ran off. The walk to the palace's worship room felt like an eternity but all too short at the same time, Tooru's heart was beating out of his chest and his hands started shaking. All he could do was peer at the walls that held onto those intricate but familiar designs as he passed by.

When they made it to the big white doors, Tooru was almost having a full anxiety attack but tried his best not to let it show on the outside. He just stood there till he found the words he was looking for.

"I'm sorry- I can't- I can't go in first." He heard himself say with a broken voice.

One of the guards lightly pushed him back so he was now the one standing in front of the doors instead of Tooru.

"I will count down from five, once I reach one, I will open this door." The man said, calmly and politely.

"Oh- thank you- Thank you so much." Tooru murmured genuinely, his eyes scrunching up with emotion and unshed tears.

"Five."

He followed the movement of the man's hands reaching the handles and gripping both of them.

"Four."

He mirrored the movement by gripping the sides of his dress.

"Three."

His hands stopped shaking as much and simmered down to a slight tremble.

"Two."

He took in a deep breath.

One….

The doors opened revealing the old worship room he used to frequent, now filled with dozens of people sitting on those old, wooden benches. He could recognize maybe 15 people compared to the hundreds actually there, most of them being cooks or servants that served his family. The decorations were all white and gold, his dress a pale gold with white accents.

His stomach flipped three times over when he locked eyes with his soon-to-be husband sitting in front of the alter.

He stared at him and then quickly looked away. His skin was a sunkissed tan and his eyes were a piercing green. He also looked pretty put together which made him wonder if he was actually from the "savage" South. The guards that were still in the back of him pushed him forward causing him to trip, only slightly but still trip, and then continue to walk into the daunting room. Violin music started playing as soon as he stepped in, which certainly didn't help his nerves.

He made the short distance over and tried to carefully sit himself down but his full body tremors made it not so graceful. He tried his best to not make awkward eye contact with his soon-to-be-husband but with the man so close and directly in front of him, there was no helping it. He looked up to see the man was still staring at him with undistinguishable emotion. It made Tooru's heart beat faster for way too many reasons.

He didn't want people looking so closely at him like this when he feels so ugly. What if he decides he doesn't like Tooru and will take back the treaty? But then again, the detailed stare was slightly romantic to the omega that has never experienced anything romantic, and it made some of the knots of dread lighten up in his stomach.

He was so distracted he almost couldn't see his father advancing towards him but as soon as he did he straightened himself up and looked down.

He felt his arm get painfully pinched and then his father bent down to whisper in his ear.

"You not dare baffle me this present day. Everyone is watching you. You better behave" He said it quietly enough so that others wouldn't hear the threat (not like they'd care) but loud enough that the words hurt and the warning wove into his brain to be kept there and not forgotten.

He nodded and waited till his father was far away to pat his now red arm.

"Are you alright?" An unfamiliar and smooth voice cracked through the air.

He looked to see his fiancés face scrunched up in an unreadable emotion, which made sense as the words were spoken with an accent.

He nodded quickly, feeling his face start to turn red.

"I call the attention of all." His father suddenly bellowed, "As thou can see, my omegan offspring shall be wedded to the southern kingdom. We have agreed on a treaty, thou shall have to welcome the way we now work withal the south"

' He couldn't even say 'son'…'

Tooru thought bitterly as the crowd clapped no matter their opinion.

All of a sudden he was being handed a candle by a church official which made him remember this ceremony would be incredibly long.

He bowed as he gave the candle to his fiancé, just as he was lectured and trained to do. Then he gracefully picked up the stone cold fire-striker and the thin piece of wood laid next to it.

His fingers shook as he rubbed them together, becoming more and more erratic each second the fire wouldn't start. Sparks and pieces of metal flew in the air when finally, he saw the illuminating flame growing larger and larger on the end of the wooden strip. He quickly and less than gracefully pushed the fire toward the candle to light it.

When he saw the flame of the candle dancing on his fiancé's face, he laughed nervously in relief. The same church official immediately took the wooden strip and fire striker from Tooru's shaking hands and replaced it with a candle of his own. This whole ritual was supposed to reflect how he would give and do everything or more for his husband and that his husband being satisfied would be enough for Tooru. So, he again bowed and reached his lonely candle out toward his fiancé's lit one. The flame danced onto his. In Tooru's opinion, this was stupid.

When both candles were lit his fiancé immediately stood up and so he followed. They brought their candles to the altar where a priest recited a prayer for their marriage before taking them to the wall where hundreds of candles stood, still lit.

They placed their candles down in the only space. And chanted the same mantra Tooru had been learning for weeks.

"Anima mea est amica mea. Animam meam do mundo et reddo mundum."

He only had a vague idea of what it meant, something about souls and love, since it was in a language no one spoke around here anymore. But it was tradition for the Eastern Kingdom.

After that he had to stand next to his fiancé as he gave a long speech in both Watihain, the language that the Southern kingdom speaks, and Corish, Tooru's language. But something good did come out with the speech, he learned the man's name.

Iwaizumi Hajime.

It made Tooru's heart hurt like learning his name made this all too real.

He couldn't hear anything but static and at some point a ring was slid on his finger, a kiss pressed to his lips.

He's not himself anymore.

He's now 'Iwaizumi Tooru'

~

After 2 more long hours, the wedding ceremony finally ended.

He had to recite more chants and speeches than he could count, and he had to sit through at least 15 old alphas go on rants about politics and sexism being natural while breathing down his face.

"Tradition" Tooru murmurs to himself, his red lips in a scowl.

At that point he was glad omegas were expected to not speak in these kinds of events so that he didn't have to answer back to any of them, he pitied his poor husband.

Now he was being pushed around by guards and servants trying to figure out where they were supposed to bring him.

"Is he supposed to go to the carriages? He's leaving today right?" One of them whispered.

"What about the southern prince? isn't he supposed to be withal husband?" Another asked.

"O come on ye idiots!!! In half an hour is the dinner, we need to prepare him for the dinner!!!" The one that was gripping his shoulders shouted.

They all scrambled to the worker's wing of the manor, dragging Tooru with them. The servants grabbed a newly sewn dress that was hopefully more comfortable than the one he was being ripped out of. It was happening so quickly that he barely had time to yell at the guards to leave because again, he still didn't want some random alphas to see him half-naked.

"Oh, make haste Tooru. You have no more time to dilly-dally!" One of the seamstresses said as he violently pulled his arms through the dress.

If he was younger he would've commented on the way the boy failed to call him 'prince' but Tooru was already tired of it after so many years.

"-Ugh!" Tooru grunted and pawed at his stomach as the seamstresses started on the corset without warning, knocking the wind out of him.

It felt as if he suddenly belly-flopped into the dark blue ocean, the water surrounding his features and the pressure squeezing his lungs. In moments like this, the physical pain usually gave him leeway from all the emotional hurt he was plagued with during the day. But now all he could think about was what would happen if this caused oxygen to delay going to his brain and he died instead of having to move from the only memories of his childhood and his brother. Would his mother sob? Would she grieve? Would his father feel guilt for the first time in his life?

"Breathe." One of the younger ones supplied realizing he still hadn't returned to normal.

He tried a laboring breath and then another till his breathing was semi-okay and his body wouldn't shut down.

"Come on boy, ye need to leave now." A guard said, pushing through the door and scanning the room for the prince.

He didn't even get to look at the dress but whatever, anything his parents picked would probably be ugly anyway.

He walked alongside the guards to the dining hall that he will never forget--regardless of the fact he was never allowed in it. From sneaking in as a child he could see it was stunning with silver and white chandeliers dangling from the mile-high ceiling, the long wooden table covered in a silky cloth adorned with copper wine glasses, and dark elegant chairs. Sometimes he would fantasize about throwing parties with bunches of friends and guests, being able to glutton out on warm food, and drinking wine out of fancy cups. At night, he could hear the laughter of his mother and father echoing from the dining hall into his small room while waiting for one of his brother's servants to bring him a lukewarm and soggy version of whatever they were eating.

Core memories.

He bowed to everyone as he walked in and shakily trotted toward where he saw his 'husband' sitting.

"Since Tooru decided to finally accompany us, we shall be able to start the royal dinner!" His mother said, spitting his name like it was venom.

He nodded and took a seat next to his husband that looked somewhat confused, which bewildered Tooru as he observed his husband have deep conversations with many people in Corish, showing his ability to speak it. So it wasn't a language barrier...

"Could ye pay fucking attention boy?" His father shouted suddenly, he didn't even notice someone started talking.

"I apologize, could you repeat that? I am so sor-" Tooru nervously tried fixing.

"As I was saying, ye and your husband shall be riding to the Southern kingdom on carriages tonight. Thy wedding night shall betide when you get there per the southerner's request" The man declared angrily.

Tooru wondered why the South insisted on having their wedding night there and how they convinced his tight-willed father to change his plans--but all he said was...

"Ok, thank you, Father. Again, I apologize."

His father just ignored him as always and continued to talk to his mother, sometimes turning to his little brother to scold him for a random reason, which gave him plenty of flashbacks.

The flashbacks were interrupted by a loud slurp coming from his side, he turned to see Hajime ripping at a piece of meat with his mouth and utensils, the sauce running down the sides of his mouth and onto the plate. The clumsy view along with the contrast of the fancy background caused Tooru to snort and then nervously cover his giggles behind his hand.

The man turned to him looking like a dear in headlights, quickly taking the meat out of his mouth and wiping his face.

"What's so funny hither?" His husband asked, his eyebrows twisted playfully.

That just caused him to laugh harder and he turned his whole body around in his chair to try to muffle his laughter, the rest of the table only being able to see his shaking back.

"Totemo fofo" He heard Hajime murmur under his breath in what he perceived as Watihain.

His laughter eventually died down as he remembered his parents were there.

"Hmm?" He questioned as he couldn't understand the language.

Tooru felt a hand on his shoulder, then his back, and then his waist, which was pulling him to face his husband again.

"It means to eat your food? Ye don't know that?" The alpha joked.

He just sat there stunned at the sudden physical contact for a few moments before stuttering out a response.

"How would I?" He replied softly with his face down to his collar bone turning red, now aware of his parents piercing stare from across the table.

He didn't know if the touch affected him so much because he still didn't know if Hajime was a safe person or whatever else but he did know he would have to get more and think before figuring it out.

"Seriously, eat. We shall be leaving shortly after this and the meals supplied on the long trip to my home are less than pleasurable." His husband stated, now pushing Tooru toward his plate and taking his hands off his waist.

Without the touch, he felt strangely cold.

~

It was almost completely black out when Tooru and Hajime were escorted out of the Western palace, which made Tooru doubt the legitimacy of them leaving tonight. As if he could read the omega's mind his husband informed him that the Southern horses they had brought with them had night vision and also doesn't need a person to control them as their instinct is to go straight home, with no detours unless instructed to. Like a self-driving carriage.

Tooru had a lot of questions about the South and the information about Southern horses seemed to fuel his brain to think of even more. Before, when he learned that he was being forcibly married to the Southern prince, he was too struck with grief from his brother's passing to think about how he'd be treated there. Now, he has all the time in the world to think of all the books he read as a child, the rumors he heard from guards, the political news from his father, and the gossip from his older brother all about the South.

Most of what he'd heard wasn't exactly good. Tooru heard that Southerners are innately evil, which he didn't really believe because he's seen and lived with real evil and it's hard to come by. He also heard that Southerners bathe only once a week, which he really didn't want to believe because hygiene is very important to him. He read that Southerners are extremely primitive and go by their instincts, he kind of does believe that since it's in all the books and gossip. He heard that they hate omegas even more than the West and don't allow omegas to have any jobs or receive money for their labor, which is even worse than his evil fath-

"Shall thou go in?" He heard a male voice ask him.

He turned toward the voice to see a servant boy around his age, most likely a beta, leaning in to ask the question. He turned back to see the carriage suddenly in front of him and his husband talking to another alpha off to the side.

"Oh sorry, ay I am." Tooru quickly waddled up the big step doing his best to not accidentally flash someone and took a seat in the lavish but very uncomfortable carriage seats.

He looked back at the servant boy and now with the light from the carriage, he realized the boy had chains wrapping around his ankles, his hair was a rat's nest, and his body had streaks of dirt all over it. He never saw anything like this in a royal palace before.

"What is your name?" The omega asked, in a polite but informal tone.

The boy ignored his words in favor of staring straight ahead. Flabbergasted at such a low nonroyal servant's audacity, he got frustrated.

"Are you ignoring me? Seriously? Hello?" He continued and even started waving his hand in front of the boy's face.

"I do not answer to sluts." The boy actually spits out, like Tooru felt drops of moisture land on his face.

Though he was extremely shocked, the shock couldn't cover his anger and he quickly replied.

"I'm sorry to inform you-- but you are not any better than me, most likely not better than anyone withal ye messed up hair and dirty self." He rebutted quickly.

Tooru felt proud of himself for approximately 3 seconds till he noticed that his husband was already finished with his side conversation and now staring at Tooru with a sickened expression.

"...Well, it seems you've met him but this is the servant that shall be riding in our carriage." Hajime said now nearing it to get on.

Tooru moved over so his husband could sit next to him but the alpha sat across from him on the other side of the carriage instead. The servant joined his husband on his side and they had a small conversation where they learned the servant's name is 'Akaashi.'

The myth of going to sleep angry never applied to the omega as he frequently was sent to his room after a scolding for simply existing.

So he allowed himself to slip and succumb to his exhaustion while staring out the dark window thinking about how this is the worst day of his life.