Chapter 2: Leveling explained and the Demon King's general

Day 2

The day started when the sun began to show itself in the space between ancient tree trunks I had finally fallen asleep after an hour and half of level up notifications, apparently when you turn 3 years old you're able to receive notifications and you gain experience points before you are able to receive notifications aka why my first night as a 3 year old was filled with annoying notifications, as I became more awake the feeling of the hot swampy air became more and more pronounced on my feet, the thing was I had fallen asleep inside my hut with my feet inside swell, but the wood edge of the floor was touching the back of my heels I looked to my side to find a huge muscly masterpiece of an arm coming from my shoulder, my arms were nice but this was something like the you'd see in an anime where the main character's dad has a similar name to mine, I sat up and hit my head on the roof breaking a hole in my hut.

"Ahhhhh, what the hell, what happening?!" Burro frantically exclaimed after the clatter of twigs hit the floor, he looked over to me, and his jaw hit the floor, "who are you and where did the muscle bound toddler go?"

"What are you talking about Mr Burro?"

"Ain't no way you leveled up enough to hit the peak physical form of your race."

"Does leveling change your appearance or something?"

"Hold on let me draw the old you and the new you in the dirt, maybe you can understand what happened then," Mr Burro said, before exiting the ruined hut. He drew kitten next to lion, I don't know how I could tell what they were given how bad he was at drawing.

The sound jiberish and laughter became apparent approaching from behind me.

"what are you doing on my swamp?!!!" I yelled as I turned to see a group of green mige... I mean small people almost got in an HR crisis there.

Mr Burro grabbed a branch to defend himself and covered his rear with his free hand, "my body is a temple, my body is a temple," Mr Burro repeated this phrase after falling to the ground and curling up in a ball.

Goblins? yeah, that's what they are, there was an anime about a guy who killed them in very creative ways in my past life, and they looked just them.

"Merry Christmas, happy birthday, ooogalydooo, I'm pregnant and it's yours," the goblins started saying random stuff but then I remembered how goblins goblinate stuff they tell lies to ruin the days of honest hard working adventures, where the hell did they pick up the word "Christmas" this world is completely different from the one I lived in if I'm not wrong, they kept getting closer as one a big one approached wearing a big head dress made of what looked like wooden dildos, he stopped and everything was still but then he screamed "oh yeah" while making the face of a gooner after coooming he then proceeded to slap his shoulders and then his no no stick which was barely covered by a loincloth, he then started humping the air and ran toward me with a knife.

As I laughed uncomfortablly I flicked his head which became an explosion of brain matter, blood, and shards of his skull, "now Scram lil humpers!" I say making a scary face, they didn't get the memo, "roar!!!!," With that they ran away.

Mr Burro was laying on the ground knocked out, convulsing while "saying no Fleece Johnson" maybe there was booty warrior here too. I wake up Mr Burro and try to ask why he got so scared of the goblins.

"I've never been assaulted, but my pops went to prison once and told me he met a goblin named Fleece Johnson who loves the back door, ever since those stories were told to me I've gone into a panic attack any time I see a goblin," he said all of this with a blank expression and tears rolling down his face.

No words could describe how fucked this man's childhood was, but at the same time this feels like a familiar situation, the sun started setting so I put the hut back together but even bigger so I could fit.

Day 3

The sound of growing and moaning, woke me up, way to early, I looked over to see Mr Burro was laying across the floor out cold it was still dark out meaning one thing undead

I looked outside and saw a bunch of skeletons and siting around the camp fire we had used for cooking dinner the night before, they didn't even have any weapons so I decided to just go see what's up.

"Yo what up bone bros?"

The skeletons turned to look at me, as one in fancy robes took a swig from what looked like a wine bottle surprisingly the wine didn't spill which was odd because skeletons don't have guts.

"You there, you speak so casually to a general of the demon King's army, have you no survival instincts?, either way it's a good day so I won't fight you, come enjoy some booze with us."

"Kay," I replied.

After getting black out drunk the sun began to rise waking us up the general became enveloped in flames

As I got up to try and save him I noticed an earth shattering headache any time a noise was made but I decided I was gonna save my boney bro and so I did, I dragged him into the hut where Burro was just waking up.

"Good morning world, GOOD MORNING YUJIRO!!!" The donkey man yelled sending my headache into over drive.

"SHUT UP DONKEY!!!" I yelled as the pile of bones started reforming to a humanoid structure I blacked again.

When the sun was setting again I woke up to find a woman in fancy mage robes cooking something in a brick oven her eyes were read and hair as white as the moon, porcelain skin, her perptions were nothing to snear at either when I looked at the robes I realized that was the skeleton I had saved, a sexy lady I called bro. I walked outside to see what was going on and figure out how we got a brick oven.

"Welcome back to the world of living Master Yujiro," the woman said.

"Sorry but if I'm not mistaken you're the skeleton I got drunk with right?"

"You're right I'm a vampire so when I get killed in battle my body has to regenerate from mist, but if you left me in the sun in that state I would have been gone, so I am indebted to you master."