I Dreamt About the Lonely Star

There are things we can't avoid, quarrelling with our partner especially if you don't trust each other, like us.

"Feronne, how many times do I have to tell you that she's married! she's married! and you have nothing to be jealous of!" He shouted in front of my face, this is our biggest and worst fight, and this is my first time seeing him shouting at me, I never know his side and this kind of behaviour.

"You hugged her! I saw you both hug each other!" I saw him together with her, it's different like their touches, their eyes. "Feronne, she lost her husband! do you know the feeling of losing your love ones?" putting someone as their reasons just to defend themselves.

"It is not you who lost someone! why you have to hug her and really in front of me?!, how many times I have to held back my feelings? how many times do I not think of things that will ruin our relationship?" I asked him "What will you feel if one day I'm not on your side anymore?" he asked me back. This is not what I'm thinking. "Ricko that's not what I think!" I doubt myself and him, I don't know what words to believe, sometimes I think too much, sometimes I act like a child, but does he know how I feel? does he know what I felt right now?

"Then don't be so immature, it's just a comfort hug!"

No, he didn't...

"Let's cool off, give me some space, I'm tired" after I said that, I left and I went back to my house. I want to rest, I'm tired physically and emotionally. I can't believe what I've heard, I tried to understand him yet he don't even want to try to understand my feelings too. This relationship.... I don't know... I feel like I'm drowning, I can't breathe, It so heavy inside. I can't see lights and hope, I'm drowning.

While I'm in the taxi, I received a message coming from him

[Let's break up]

He ended it, he ended our relationship for over 7 years, how can he do that. I want to go back and beg for him to be with me, but I can't, he doesn't deserve me and I don't deserve him, we both don't deserve each other, 7 years for me to realize that we're not destined.

"Ma'am?" the driver is waiting for my response, I guess I'm already here "We're already here"

"Thank you"

It's been a year since I lived here, this is my Grandma's house that is already belongs to me since she died together with my family, I lost my family, I lost my lover, I'm the only one left. My loneliness is killing me every day and it got worse since Ricko left me. I don't have a plan to stay longer here, I want to go outside the country, I want a peace of mind. Maybe that's the only way for me to get up.

After I entered, I immediately book a ticket, why not right? it sounds fun.

Afternoon, I have already prepared the bedroom for me to get rest since a lot happened recently, I want to rest for a while, but I'm still thinking about our break-up, does he really get this so far? do we have to break up? 7 years of relationship, it's not worth begging for another chance. Maybe this is really our fate that we're really not meant for each other, maybe... one day I can find the best man for me.

I'm lying on my own bed as I'm staring outside at the window "Why it's only had one star" I asked myself while staring at the one star in the sky.

"Feronne, I'm home" I heard someone is calling my name outside the room. I stood up and open the door, I found nothing "Feronne, where are you?" his voice is so deep that makes me feel goosebumps, I tried to answer him as I walk down on the stair "W-where are you?" I went down but I saw no one, "I'm preparing our dinner, please come here" I heard a voice coming from the kitchen and I walk there and I saw someone standing while preparing a food. His not facing me, h-how come?

"W-who are you" I said, he suddenly faced me "Feronne!" he said, he turned off the gas stove and he walked towards me "I missed you" he said as he hugged me, I found it weird because first, I don't know him, he might be a killer or a thief. But at the same time, I found his hug unrealistic, his presence is cold and at the same time. Our hug tooks longer it becomes warmer and I found it comfortable "W-who are you" I asked again and he parted away.

"That's not funny! I'm your lover!" he said while pouting his mouth and I found it cute, so I hugged him again without thinking, it feels like he's my lover, I can feel it "I'm just kidding".

"Are you hungry? I'm sorry I came home late, I can't find myself" he said as he crossed his arm, I don't know what he was saying "What do you mean?" I asked and got confused from what he said. "I don't remember anything, by the way, I'm hungry, let's eat!" he changed the topic.

"Are you okay?" The guy asked me while we were lying in the bed, I keep thinking about sudden scenarios a while ago, why he appeared to be my lover, I don't even know him "Who are you"

"Why you keep asking m--" I cut him "You're lying" he sighed and he look up into the sky "I'm the one-star" I looked up and realize that the one star in the sky was already gone "I'm the lost and lonely star, I saw you looking at me that's why I came after you" he got up and faced me "I like your eyes, It's like a winter snow eye, and I like your lips too, it's sexy and kissable--" I got up as I got shocked "Are you a pervert star?" I can't believe from what he said, he's really defining me "No, that's a fact, everyone thinks that" well yes, he's right, everyone talks about my eyes being white grey.

"Hana Byeol, that's my name" what kind of name is that? "Is that your name?"

"Yes, and I'm appearing in someone's dream, I want to give you happiness and love" He said while his eyes are twinkling like a star, he's definitely a star, I love his black eyes too, and his big hands. "Then you're in my dream right now?" he nodded, I lay down again and he did the same "I'm lonely too, I have no one in my life, they left me, and I'm scared, I want to disappear"

"You fool, you're not, I want to love as a human too, is it fun to love someone?" He asked me and he smiled "It's fun, but unfortunately I'm suck having a relationship. You know what, I want to become a star like you," I said "I want to live like a star, and be happy"

"I'm not happy being like this, but since I met you here, let's go out and explore the world with you, it sounds good right, I want to be with you" he said as he stood up and he lend his hand, I took his hand and we both went out.

"I'll take you to your favourite restaurant" he said while we were walking outside "How did you know?!" how did he know that, no one knows my favourite things, places "I'm a Star" he said and he brought me to a random house as he opened the door and we both teleported to another place.

"This can't be!" I can't believe he bring me here to my favourite restaurant, It's been 6 years since I came here, our first anniversary happened here.

"Feronne don't think too much! let's enjoy the food, one Kare-Kare and Pork Sisig and for me, I want Cassava cake, for the drinks, 1 water and 1 Ice Amerikano" He knows even my favourite foods and drinks, I almost forgot that this guy in front of me is not human.

While we are waiting for our order, I opened a conversation with a question "Why you came after me? why me?" I asked him. He stared straight into my eyes, I can see now his face, he's handsome, do really Stars has a good appearance? It's so unfair!

"I like you"

I dropped my jaw, this guy is insane, what was he thinking?! "Y-you" I can't speak, my heart is throbbing so fast "Y-You're k-kidding right?" I looked away, so I can breathe properly.

"Yes, I don't do jokes, how can a star joking around" I can feel that he's staring at me, this man is crazy! "Stop looking at me, It's uncomfortable--"

"But I want to look at your face" he cut my words off "I like you, and I'm honest, no need to answer me back, I don't exist" I stared at him, his eyes now are not sparkling and twinkling anymore but only sadness. A star like him wants to live like me as a human, and a star like him only lives in imagination and dreams but not in reality. I understand his feelings now makes me feel sad "Then, let's make it real" I said but his expression didn't change. "I don't exist" he released a heavy breathe "I'm only a star who came so far away, I have no long memory to keep, the moment you wake up, we both forgot our memories in our dream. So, we can't make it real and this is not real"

"Why did you confess?"

"Because this is what I felt for you, I'm scared that after you wake up you will forget me, and this feeling" he touched his chest "will forget you"

So, after I woke up, we will forget each other, but why do I remember some dreams that I dreamt before "I can remember dreams, it's possible to know you after I wake up" He sighed again, I know, he doesn't exist in reality, I want to see him after I woke up, I want to see him again.

"Here's your order, please pay after at the counter" He smiled at me, it was sincere and genuinely

"DO WE REALLY HAVE TO GO HERE?!" this Star guy brought me at the top of the building "It's fun right?" The guy asked as he laughed, No! "No!!! It's not!! let's go down! I want to go down" This guy is crazy as always!

"No, don't be afraid, I'm here, trust me" he held my hands and we both sit at the roof "Don't move, or I will push you" I said

"You can't, I'm a star!" he said confidently, this man is crazy as always "crazy star"

"This, I found this somewhere, while we're walking" He showed the necklace, it's a one-star around the circle "Keep this"

"It's so beautiful" he put the necklace on me and we both stared to the sky. "Look, you can see only a moon, no stars in the sky" I looked up and I only see the moon, It's so bright but the person beside me is brighter than the moon "The moon is so bright, but you can't see any kind of different stars" he said as he looked up. I faced him, "but you're the brightest" he faced me and we both stared to each other, his eyes again are sparkling and twinkling the part where I loved the most about him "I can see the star, it's right beside me"

"I like you too, and this is what I felt" he smiles as his response, we both know we can't be to each other in the future, we both know that these feelings we had will be gone tomorrow, or later "I want to see you again," I said as my tears fell down on my cheeks "I want to see you again tomorrow, right after this dream, I want you to visit my dream again but not as a stranger again, Hana Byeol"

He stroked my cheeks as he wiped my tears "I want too, and I'm scared that it might happen later after you wake up, but I'll try my best to visit you in your dreams, Just look at the lonely star in the sky, It's me" he hugged me and I hugged him back, I don't want to let go in his arms.

"Just look at me, only me" he said as his voice broke "I'm looking at you, only you Byeol" We both felt that I'm going to wake up "If things don't work out, I want you to live happily, please live and be happy" He's the person who gives me so much love, He's still a person to me even though he's just a star showing at night in someone's dream, he's still a person to me that I want to love with. I closed my eyes until I felt a light presence, He's gone.

"Hana Byeol" I said while my eyes are still closed "Hana Byeol" I heard no response, He's really gone, I started to cry in despair and loneliness. In the short time have been with him, I learnt what love is, it's not measured by how years you've been with the person, It's genuine and sincere love he gave, and I learnt not all stays forever.

*She's dreaming, she's dreaming*

*A night thick with moonlight*

*It's our only time together*

*She's dreaming, she's dreaming*

*You're asleep in me*

*I can't help but smile*

*I'm just looking at you, because*

*In the morning, as if nothing happened*

*You'll wake up*

"Agh!!!" I stood up, my phone keeps alarming "7:30 am?!" I quickly went to the bathroom and I found myself in the mirror "Why my eyes are so fluffy, I remember I did the skincare right" There's now way my skin card gone wrong?

"Wahh!!" this place is so beautiful, I can't wait for my future without Ricko. Ricko is done, I want to enjoy myself again. After I woke up my heart is not heavy anymore, and I can't feel the pain from what Ricko did. But something is missing, my heart is beating so fast after I woke up "This is because of the alarm" I sighed "Yeah, the alarm"

"Here's your key ma'am, Welcome to Bright Hotel again" the Korean woman said, the name of this hotel is unique and it's literally bright because the inside of the hotel is so bright---full of light and luxury chandeliers. I went to the elevator are so I can go rest and have some good sleep. Before the elevator open, someone bumped my shoulder, it hurts and the guy who bumped into me is so tall and his books are completely everywhere "I'm sorry, I didn't see you coming" I said and helped him pick his books. As I picked up the books, there was a necklace inside of it. "Star?" the necklace is so beautiful and shiny, the star inside the circle is so familiar to me.

"Are you done looking at my books and... my necklace?" I got back to my senses after i heard his voice. The necklace is so beautiful and I think I've seen it before.

"S-sorry, here, I'm sorry again for bumping you" I bowed and wait for him to answer, I faced him again and his eyes are sparkling, it shines on me and his smile is like a sunflower that blooms in a summer day. This person is familiar to me and It seems like I met him before, my heart is beating so fast, I can even hear my own heartbeat.

"It's okay, Ms. Feronne, I'm glad that I met you again. But this time I met you again in real life"

The End of I Dreamt

Feronne and Byeol meet again but in the reality, they both dreamt of each other in coincidence.

Notes: Thank you very much for reading \○/

AUTHOR BY: @sstfar

Start: March, 2022

End: April 19, 2022/ Revised: June 29, 2023

(Idea by the song of Exo, She's Dreaming)

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