II

I've never felt this way towards someone before. It's a little bit scary.

Writing helps me relax and think clearly, getting my mind away from Darren Mercedes. Especially with all the questions that are running through my mind. Why did I have to fall for him? I don't understand, there are so many other people I could've fallen for, so why Darren? Why do I have to have daydreams, thoughts, and hopeless dreams about Darren? All my friends have told me to confess, but knowing my rotten luck I would end up getting rejected. As I usually do.

I'm not scared of what he would say or do if he rejected me it's just my insecurities and past experiences... I don't want to take the chance of ruining the friendship we have. I can't and I won't do that to Darren. I'll just have to suck it up... and let it go.

"Kalina! Get out of the bathroom, Darren's here." My heart fluttered at his name and I let a small smile grace my face. I stand up from the ground and fix my shoulder-length dyed rose gold curly hair and splash some cold water on my face to cool the heat pooling inside my cheeks.

Straightening my red wool sweater and black slightly ripped jeans, then walking out into the hallway to see Yasmine waiting on me.

She had her dark brown hair in a slicked-back ponytail and had a white t-shirt and light blue jeans, "Today might be the day you finally tell Darren."

"I have no idea what you mean. We both know for a fact he didn't come to see me, probably came for Cat and D, but come on we have Chemistry anyway." I say with a bitter smile as we walked into class.

I nearly pass out at seeing Darren talking to our Chemistry teacher as we took our seats, "Looks like he came for the teacher rather than any of us." Yas whispered to me and I ignored her more focused on the notes the teacher had already placed on the board, while stealing glances at Darren.

"So best friend since this is our last class why don't we all do something after class?" D asked with her orange curly afro bouncing around as she hugged Darren.

"I'm down, who's 'we all' though?" Darren responded with a careless shrug of his shoulders.

"Cat, Yas, Kalina, and me obviously."

Darren threw his hands up in surrender, "I was making sure. As I said I'm down if everyone else is." I looked up from the hand that was covering my face and looked at Darren slightly.

I began to write in my journal as Darren began to answer questions the students asked about his college experience so far and how he was enjoying it.

As I'm writing Darren begins to describe his dorm room and I couldn't help but let my mind wander and my hand began writing.

I was in his dorm room. We were talking, goofing off while playing video games it was great we were laughing and I couldn't stop staring at him. The way his head was thrown back as he let out a wholehearted laugh from his stomach. How small tears were gathering in his eyes. I couldn't help myself so I lean forward while cupping his face and place a light kiss on his lips.

My eyes widen as it sets in what I just did, "Darren I'm so sorry. I should've asked. Oh my God Darren I'm sorry. I'll leave." I whisper as tears slowly run down my face and I get up to gather my things and leave when he grabs my wrist pulling me back down to the bed.

After pulling me down I looked to the floor as I felt his eyes on me, "I'm not mad Kalina, just a little surprised," Darren paused and made me look at him, "Can I kiss you?" I shyly nod and he cups my face pulling my face closer to his and he pressed his soft yet slightly chapped lips upon my own. He pulled me onto his lap and I slightly ground my hips into his-

"Yo Kalina, you ready to go or what?" D snapped her fingers in front of my face breaking me out of my thoughts.

I internally scream, but I have a tight smile on my face, "Yes, let's go. Sorry about that." I grab my things and start walking with the rest of the group with Yas walking beside me with a smile as Cat and D jumped at the chance to talk to Darren as we walked to the park.

"You guys are awfully quiet back there," Darren said as he turned back to look at us, "you guys can go home if you arent up for hanging out today."

"Nonononono, I- we wanna hangout. I don't have anything to add to the convo, so I'd rather stay silent." The three girls threw me a look and Darren's face slightly bunched up, he waved it off and we continued to the park.

Yas smacked the back of my head after they turned around.

"What the hell was that for?" And then she karate chopped the back of my neck. I ran away and she chased after me, "Why aren't you hitting Cat and D?"

"Don't worry trick they're next."

"Leave me out of this." Both Cat and D said as I ran closer to them so instead of hitting me she hit D. D left Darren's side to chase after Yas further into the park.

"Imma go after them to make sure they don't kill each other or get stuck on the fence," Cat said slightly jogging after them leaving me and ...Darren... Yas played the hell outta all of us.

I feel his arm around my neck and pull me into a sorta hug and I wrap my left arm around his neck as we continue to walk slowly towards the park.