10

Eventually, we all settle into sleeping spots and attempt to rest.

The last few hours have been exhausting for many reasons, and everyone needs the sleep.

I feel more awake than I have in my life, but...I do want to get some rest. I know as soon as this adrenaline goes away I'll crash like never before, and I'd rather get out ahead of it.

The cave is eerily quiet as I stare up at the ceiling of the cave, listening to the sounds of the night, occasionally interrupted by the shifting of students in their sleep.

Normally I'd already be asleep.

"Are you alright, Caden?"

Amelia's voice is soft in the dark.

I think she's lying next to me. I can't see her, of course, the lack of light prevents that, but her voice is near enough and quiet enough that it's easy to assume so.

I blink.

Not only am I awake I am...still alive.

Somehow.

It's still hard to believe that.

I was there, and I still can't understand how I faced two fully-formed Gloom Dwellers and survived.

"Yeah." I mumble back. "Just thinking."

I hear the shifting of Amelia's body and I wonder if she's sitting up to look at me. I can't tell in the darkness. "What are you thinking about?"

I can hear the curiosity in her voice.

What am I thinking about...?

I'm thinking about what a terrifying monster Gloom Dwellers are, how strange and unbelievable it is that I survived two of them. I'm wondering when they'll be back to eat all of us, and trying to figure out what they wanted.

I'm wondering what all this means for me.

And then, more practically: "Do you think we'll all die?"

"I don't know." Amelia admits.

"Those two weren't typical Gloom Dwellers, clearly. There's no telling when more will appear. They could have hundreds in the forest - though that'd be unlikely, or they could have just send a wave of babies to start with."

She sighs then.

"If anything, the fact that we didn't see any sign of them in a whole section of the island means...it's probably just those two...but I don't understand why they're here instead of the babies when there's no way to predict final exam..."

She's mostly rambling, I think.

Letting the turmoil of her inner thoughts spill out unchecked from the exhaustion she's suffering.

"Oh." It's a dispassionate word. It's all I can muster in response.

Amelia hesitates for a moment.

"Are you...afraid?"

That's a good question.

Aren't I?

I guess, on an intellectual level, I'm scared.

I don't want to die. I don't want to be eaten by a Gloom Dweller.

But I think, what I'm really feeling right now, isn't fear.

...I don't know what I'm feeling right now.

I don't have a word for it.

"Not really."

I'm too stunned by the fact that I somehow survived this long in the first place to even register my mortality.

Amelia shifts again.

Maybe she's confused, or curious.

I don't know what else to say.

"Caden, what's going on? Why aren't you worried?" She asks.

I wish I knew.

But...I don't.

I'm a Tainted Blood. I don't have any power. But...I seem to be able to control the Gloom.

How can I be both of those things at the same time?

Am I an exorcist? But that can't be, because I've repeatedly failed the tests. I couldn't have secretly had 'blessed blood' all this time. It would have been noticed long ago.

I must be a Tainted Blood.

But I control the Gloom.

I don't get it.

And...a part of me is afraid to even tell Amelia about the fact that I can control the Gloom.

Because...

Maybe it was a fluke.

Maybe it was some kind of cruel ruse by that humanoid Gloom Dweller, tricking a dumb kid like me so he could enjoy it more when he returned and devoured us once we had a glimmer of hope to snuff out.

Or maybe it was real.

And if I can control the Gloom, a substance only Gloom Dwellers can control, what does that make me?

Could I possibly have...Gloom Dweller heritage somewhere?

Gloom Dweller blood runs through my veins?

That's ridiculous.

Humans can't just cross-breed with Gloom Dwellers. We don't have some shared heritage. Humans don't turn into Gloom Dwellers either, nothing like that.

But if a human and an exorcist cannot control the Gloom...

If a Gloom Dweller is the only thing that can...

If a Gloom Dweller can't be human...

Then what am I?

Amelia seems to notice something wrong in my voice, because she shuffles closer and takes my hand in hers. "Caden...?"

I startle a bit and she quickly pulls away.

"Sorry..." She murmurs. "But you seemed lost in your own thoughts, I..."

I exhale.

"...It's okay."

My brain is a mess of emotions. Confusion and worry being the biggest two.

"...Did you really think I died?" I ask.

"Yes." Amelia murmurs. "It looked like they captured you...and no one has ever lived to tell the tale of being taken by Gloom Dwellers..."

That's true.

The Gloom Dwellers consume souls and souls are irreplaceable. Once a soul is eaten, it's gone. All that's left is an empty husk. A human left in a permanent vegetative state, waiting to expire.

And that assumes the Gloom Dweller is gentle about its meal. Sometimes they aren't, and in those cases only the mangled corpse of the body remains.

People captured by Gloom Dwellers disappear overnight.

Forever.

Without exception.

Ever since the Gloom Dwellers first appeared, centuries ago, that's what happens to people they take.

That's what people told me happens.

But here I am.

I don't know how to explain it to Amelia without admitting the thing I can barely even admit to myself.

That I can control Gloom, somehow, despite all logic and reason.

How can I, though?

Is it because I'm a Tainted Blood?

There's just not enough evidence to go off of to decide.

Am I the only one?

Has it ever happened before? Did they just hide that this could happen to Tainted Bloods for some reason?

Was there something specific about these circumstances that triggered it which no other Tainted Blood experienced, perhaps?

I didn't have any answers, and I can't expect anyone in this cave to have any, either.

I just...don't know what to say.

"It doesn't matter." Amelia finally says. "I'm just glad you're still alive. Caden..." She pauses, as if she wants to say something important.

"...Yes?"

"...I know it's hard to hear when they call you tainted blood...and you feel that you aren't fit to be around all these exorcists."

Her breath catches for a moment. "I want to prove to you that you are wrong. To make you see that you belong here and shouldn't be hiding away from us. That you're one of us, too."

....She is a nice person.

Amelia and Flynn both are.

They're so popular I usually find them obnoxious, but...

She really is a nice person.

I wonder if she should really be so nice to someone like me.