Harry and the broken school

I looked at Madam Marchbanks and said: "No madam Marchbanks just Dumbledore playing god. Let me introduce myself, I am Lord of House Potter, Lord of House Gryffindor, Lord of House Slytherin, Lord of House Gaunt, and Heir of House Black. These six girls I am in negotiations for betrothal contracts, Miss Hermione Granger, Miss Daphne Greengrass, Miss Tracey Davis, Miss Luna Lovegood, Miss Hannah Abbot, and last but not least Miss Susan Bones.

And to make a story short I have my pensive ready so you can see the memories first hand. Tracey can you give your memory of last night's dinner, from when I sat down with you until I walked out.

Mipsy can you bring some empty vials to store them please."

I love those little buggers, only snapping the fingers and you get what was asked for. I remove my KISS, it's going to a special place, Tracey was already putting her memory in. "Only Madam Marchbanks Hermoine and me, you all were there so we don't crowd. Madam if you please."

The three of us entered, and watched the whole scene, me claiming the basilisk, the lordships, and the life debts. "My, my, you've been busy Lord potter." "Just Harry Madam, I am not even 13 years old so Lord Potter sounds way too pompous. The next memory is from me and just for you and me madam."

Storing this memory, I pulled my talk with Daphne and Tracey from this morning. "This is a bit disturbing Madam but a must-see." We entered and the whorehouse scene played, Madam Marchbank's grip on her cane became tight. "Heads will roll, I promise you that."

"Next is a selection of the most important actions taken place in the hospital wing."

To start with Pomfrey, skipping the kiss, claiming Snape, the teachers shipped off to St Mungo's and me squibbing Dumbledore. For this, all the girls were coming with us.

"Again, there are some happenings that are very disturbing, leave the comments when we get out."

So Pomfrey diagnosing me, calling the Aurors and healers, the healers shoving the teachers to St Mungo's, Hermione was happy I didn't show the kiss, claiming Snape after my accusations of him running a whore house eased Hermione's temper. The finale with Dumbledore's light show and Fawkes turning him in a matchstick, me nicking the Elder wand was almost unnoticed, that old bitty still got good eyes. So after we were ejected I started my diversion, while putting the memory's away I said:

"So here we are, I am now the highest authority in the castle, I locked the headmaster's office and now I am waiting for warders from Gringotts and the ministry of mysteries to analyze the wards before I take control of them until another headmaster is appointed. I however have no authority over the students, they are now at dinner with the head boy and girl in charge with a 7th year from each house.

This is why I called you, Madam Bones and the Aurors are too busy because Snape is singing like a canary. And me sitting on Dumbledore's throne is just silly. So madam Marchbanks the students are all yours."

"How old are you again boy?.. Never mind, accompany me to the great hall, all of you."

"Follow me please, I know a shortcut that halves our travel time, or we can go instantaneous witch do you choose?"

"The less walking off course, I am not hundred years anymore you know" "Now madam I wouldn't give you a day over ninety, more to the early eighty's. Mipsy, Dippy, Witty, and Kitty can you help us please." "What can us do for Master Gryffi?"

"Can you pop us in the great hall behind the teacher's table please?"

Instantaneous pop, I heard Madam Marchbanks mumbling about retarded headmasters who let her walk all the way from the gates to here. I go to the throne, nobody dared to sit on it, stood in front and everything got quiet.

"Lady's and Gentlemen I am here to announce that Lady Griselda Marchbanks is taking charge of student affairs, although House Slytherin is in deep trouble, very deep trouble. If pure blood means you can rape anybody you want, you better think again. Pure-blood Lords are supposed to guide and rule, take care of the community, not rob, rape, and destroy it like lunatics.

I know Snape and the headmaster encouraged it, well Snape is now my slave for betraying a life debt of my father and Dumbledore is a squib because I let Magic and Hogwarts judge him.

I am now going to take control of the wards and be damn polite to girls, or you will be kicked out or even squibbed out of here. Madam, they are all yours."

Madam Marchbanks looked impressed, "Thank you, Lord Potter."

She looked over at the students and said: "I watched in the last hour, the memories of what is happening here, and I am shocked. Tomorrow the owl and newt exams begin, the rest of the students are all going to be tested on potions and charms. 5th and 7th years get tested after exams.

For the Slytherins who were most active and aggressive at raping better start running now, because Aurors will knock on your door. Let us enjoy the rest of our meal. The library is restricted to owl and newt students. Thank you."

The girls pulled me to an open space at the Gryffindor table and took dessert. Luna with all flavor pudding. Me? I tried treacle tart… it is good, but so are a lot of other things. The twins approach us

"O Lord Potter, we heard,"

"O Lord Gryffindor, that you single-handed,"

"O Lord Slytherin, which means with one hand on your back,"

"O Lord gaunt, disposed of the entire staff."

"O Heir Black, is this true?"

"My dear junior marauders, I indeed did such a thing. Although it was a small action the consequences were big, I just asked Madam Pomfrey to do a diagnostic spell on me. Who would know there was so much wrong with me, Pomfrey even had to call for the Aurors.

On my friendly suggestion, she did a diagnostic charm on herself, and tadaa: the first of the staff for St Mungos. Pomfrey called a bunch of healers from St Mungo's to diagnose the rest of the staff.

They found out Dumbledore has the teaching staff so dosed up in potions and spells, the poor things believed what was coming out of Dumbels ass was chocolate, and out front lemonade.

I doubt we will see them here again. So who won the contest? Who is the lover boy?"

The twins had to process all the info I dissed out, a first-year girl came closer and asks: "Did you come here to select your second Gryffindor girl? I volunteer."

Those bloody twins jumped in the conversation.

"O Lord Potter, two girls per House."

"O Lord Gryffindor, it is only fair."

"O Lord Slytherin, quick select a lion and a claw."

"O lord Gaunt, so there is balance in your house."

I turned to the girl: "I didn't know I needed two girls per house, who said this? And why would you volunteer? And why is six not enough? What is your name?"

"Well Lord Potter my name is Romilda Vane, you have two badgers, two snakes it is only fair you pick two from the other houses. You have 5 Lordships, so a wife, a consort, and a concubine for each, you only got six, can I have a spot?"

Speechless, Hermione looked scandalized, my snakes were giggling, the badgers already pointing and selecting candidates, Luna was busy with the important stuff: her pudding."

"You know those Harry Potter books are fiction right? Meaning what happens in there is fantasy. Me marrying 15 girls? What time do they have with me? 2 day's a month? What are they going to do for the other 28 days? Find a lover? Miss Vane you look like a nice girl, wait till your 5th year, and find a decent man for your own. I happened to like these six girls here, maybe there are going to be more, or maybe less. I am not even 13 years old yet, so I am not in the market for more girls."

What do they think I am? A bloody stag with a herd of does? Do they know most of those stags don't make it through the winter, fucking until he is exhausted, and next year the doe's pick another vict- lucky stag.

What is it with those witches, a normal girl wants her man for herself, these flock together like I was Merlin... Now I remember, Goblins have their Great Goat God, wizards have Merlin and Morgana. Swearing should be fun too, Merlin's saggy balls or Morgana's tits, any body part can and will be used.

The twins lost their cool: "You know the marauders?" "Who are they?" "Can we meet them," "Introduce us please?"

"Now my dear junior marauders, no more Lord Potter or Gryffindor? New idols coming up and the old ones already gone and forgotten, I'm hurt. Introducing them is going to be a bit hard, on the other hand, you both lived with one for more than ten years, he was incognito so to speak, in hiding, lying low, living the lazy life. He goes with the name Wormtail."

Come to think of it, that bastard was in an ideal position for looking up the girl's skirts. It is the only thing positive I can find about rats anyway, disgusting animals, when walking they let a track of urine drops so they can find the way back to the nest, when eating they shit to make room for more. So anyone wants a pet rat?

Before Gred and Forge can say anything Hoggy pops in and said: "Master Gryffin there be Goblins at the gate asking for master."

"Let them enter Elder Hoggy, I was expecting them, lead them to the headmaster's office. There are wizards from the ministry coming also."

Standing up I told the girls: "you can stay here or go back to my quarters, I go with the head boy and girl as witness inspect the ward-stone before I take control."

Heading to the staff table I approached Madam Marchbanks: "I invited Goblin warders and the ministry department of mysteries to inspect the ward-stones, to see what Dumbledore messed up with them before I take control. If you like to witness it you're welcome to join, otherwise, I will take the head boy and girl."

Madam Marchbanks said: "Take the young ones, it will be a learning experience for them, I am too old to run around in this castle." she addressed the two: "You two accompany Lord Gryffindor - Slytherin to the headmaster's office and assist him with anything he asks. When it's done report back to me with you're findings."

This put a leash on their neck without me even asking. "Follow me to the headmaster's office please."

At the entrance, I told the gargoyle: "open please" The thing hopped aside, we got up, entered, and heard the paintings arguing. I clapped in my hands and yelled: "SHUT THE FUCK UP" before the paintings could say anything I started ranting.

"You useless paintings are supposed to assist the headmaster with your counsel, how come did you let it go so far out of control with Dumbledore. What use are you hanging here for when you let that maniac screw the students here for more than 50 years. Are you blind? Senile? Or eager to help the bastard with his schemes. You better have a good answer or I'll throw you all in the garbage bin."

The head boy and girl got the shock of their lives, I looked at them and said: "What? They are bloody paintings, where are their brains? Do they think for themself? If they did, Dumbledore would get sacked in the fifty's instead of now." This would cure that superiority complex some of them have.

"Boy,.." "It is Lord Gryffindor or Lord Slytherin for you, useless piece of canvas."

"Lord Gryffindor, we are honor-bound to help the headmaster, we can't refuse to help him or her."

"The most pathetic excuse I heard so far. You are honor-bound to help his crimes? You can't report his crimes? Are you not honor-bound to the school to give the children a safe place to learn, to teach them the best you could? Did you or did you not know what he was doing? The whole staff is in St Mungo's dosed to the gills with potions and charms. You all better think what your future is here, and what you can do for the school, or you can bugger off to your other paintings."

A painting of an old witch sighed: "We have no excuse Lord Slytherin, we will discuss this when we are alone"

"Now, what other skeletons are in Dumbledore's closet, I bet the stone from last year is here some were to or did he the same as Tom Riddle? I wouldn't be surprised if he did. I am glad Fawkes is free from him. Where can I find the main ward-stone and are there special requirements for access and take control?"

"There is a hidden door behind his desk to stairs down to the basement. You lay your hand on the stone and Hogwarts will judge your claim."

"Then we will wait for the Goblins and the ministry, there is at least a confundus on it otherwise Dumbells couldn't get away with it."

Thinking of something I went to the door and yelled down: "You better let everybody come up or you can get a job opening a broom closet."

People came upstairs Goblins and ministry a bit pissed of for the waiting, I apologized: "I am sorry for the waiting I thought the gargoyle would let you pass. Anyway, the headmaster is judged and punished by Hogwarts and magic, basically, he is a squib now, I am Lord Gryffindor and Lord Slytherin, and taking control of the ward-stone until a new headmaster is appointed.

Before I take control I want you to analyze the main ward-stone for faults and tampering. The current Head boy and girl are witnessing this representing the school, me for the founders, and Hogwarts. And you both so there can not be a discussion of foul play."

"Well met basilisk-slayer I am Bogrok, these are Orguk and Argnok, Argnok is a curse breaker and we are warders" "Well met Master goblins may your enemy's rot on the battlefield, and their women experience real men." Meh... Forget the gold, go for the woman.

"Lord Gryffindor, I am Croaker from the department of mysteries, this is my team warders and curse breakers. Can you take us to the ward-stone so we can start?" Well met Croaker, after this we two have some serious things to discuss in my chambers, but first this."

I turned to the paintings and ask: "How do I open the door?"

"There is a niche in the wall with a little statue, remove the statue, and put your hand on the back of the niche. If it accepts you it opens." "Thank you."

Putting my hand in the niche was a bit embarrassing, cause I had to pull a chair to reach it. At least it opened.

Downstairs we got in a room within the center a big… rock, I expected something more spectacular, something shining or hovering, looking mysterious. "Gentlemen and Master Goblins, analyze for faults and tampering if you please."

Standing next to head-girl "Did you expected something different too? It looks like normal rock with some runes on it. I thought it was like an obelisk or altar shining with fairy's flying around it, you know?"

Missy was almost crying because I asked something, come to think of it, bashing the paintings in submission, ordering Goblins and unspeakable's around is rather intimidating.

I whispered: "Don't worry maybe it comes in the next book 'Harry Potter and the Broken School', you can be the hero's sidekick. By the way who won the best lover contest?"

The head boy took pity on Missy and said: "Huffelpuf won with Ravenclaw a close second. Slytherin came in dead-last but we understand why now."

There was more and more noise from the ward team swearing from the unspeakable,s, Great Goat God only knows what the Goblins are yelling, nothing nice by the way they are looking.

Let's poke around a bit, "And? How fucked up is it?"

Croaker: "How this school is still functions is a mystery, layer on layer with functions who contradict themselves, intend based functions to let Slytherin and Gryffindor mistrust each other, to ignore important stuff specified by the headmaster, the list goes on and on."

Bogrok: "The alerts for dark items are disconnected, the same for creatures and animagus. The intend-based ward for sexual harassment is disconnected, so you can rape anyone you want. The wards for spellfire in the corridors are out too."

"I want a full report on the defects for evidence, and you can both decide who is going to fix them, and what the cost is going to be. It's time this madhouse is set to order. Is it OK for me to take control or do I have to wait for the repair?"

Bogrok: "It is best you take control now, so you can help out with the settings. Put your hand on this set of runes and push your magic in it."

This would be interesting, I never even done something like that, I put my hand on the spot and imagined pushing my magic in the stone, it started with a small stream, the stone began absorbing more and more, the feeling... Imagine you holding Nr2 in for a few days and releasing it, or a fart you didn't dare to let loose in company and had to wait for you to get outside, or you get out of bed in the morning and have to take a leak with a boner…. Well... It felt nothing like that.

The ward-stone was sucking me dry, I ask: "Is this normal? This stone is draining me. How long do I keep this up?"

Croaker: "Not long Lord Potter, nearly there. The normal procedure is to recharge each year, it seems it was at least 10 years ago, so only a bit longer. Dumbledore has a lot to answer for."

"Well be glad I didn't let Fawkes kill the bastard or he was torched to a crisp."

Croaker: "You asked a phoenix to stop doing things and he listened?"

"We are buddies, he helped me kill a basilisk, even healed me when this basilisk bit me, I helped him with breaking his illegal bonds of Dumbledore."

Meanwhile, I was drained from my magic at a disturbing rate, it was like I had not eaten for a week, and thanks to the fucking Dursley's I know exactly how that feels.

The stone began to give feedback, I started to feel the boundaries, a big chunk of the forbidden forest, the castle, from top till bottom. This feels so wrong, it's like driving on a motorway against the stream. Al sorts of warnings are ringing in my head.

"No wonder a troll could get in here, this idiot had all warning turned off."

Croaker: "There was a troll in here last year?"

"Technically, there were two trolls only one was set loose, the other one was a part of parkour to guard something. I'll show you later."

Finally, it settled, "Ok what now? The draining is gone, do I remove my hand?"

Bogrok: "Not yet first give me and Croaker permission to make changes to the wards. Then feel if there are curses on the stone."

"How in Great Goat Gods' name do I do that, I am a second-year remember? Not bloody Merlin."

Two gods in one line, let them sort it out. I gave permission to both and felt the changes to the wards.

It felt kind of strange, feeling the warders changing the settings like I was doing it myself. The feedback from the stone was unnerving, like sitting in your car when the mechanics strip it clean and rebuild it, the only thing untouched is the driver's seat. Suddenly I felt acceptance, a welcoming feeling, and magic tendrils going back through my hand into my body, searching and examining.

"This feels strange, is this the stone or some of you pushing magic into me? It is like I am searched for magically."

Croaker: "It's me I am connecting the wards to your magic, but your reserves are low so I had to look for them, It also gives me a chance to exam your body, because I noticed there are some things very wrong with you. Let's start with your bones, how is it possible to break them so many times, then the scars, your stunted growth, Merlin how come you are still alive?"

"The answer is simple Mr. Croaker: Albus fucking Dumbledore is what happened. When we go later to my quarters I will show you some memories. I say it upfront, Dumbledore has to go to Askaban or kissed by the dementors, I won't settle for anything less. Now, what else did you find in me? Looked at my scar yet? Oh, and see if there are bounds on my magic."

A popular topic at the fanfics, bound from 10% to 95%, and when unbound going for super Harry, he has already a cape the only thing missing is putting his Y fronts over his normal pants, maybe some blue or red tights. I would say lose the glasses and comb the hair differently so nobody recognizes you, but without glasses, I'm as blind as a mole.

Wtf? I got assaulted with 5 different magic tendrils, do they think I'm a ride on an amusement park? Roller-coaster Harry? 3 wizards and 2 Goblins used the ward-stone as a medium to probe my body, not sure where my core is, even if it is a physical thing. The five tendrils arrived at my scar, surrounding it, shocking people is my specialty nowadays. Great Goat God and Merlin got a workout from swear words. I said: "I have an appointment with the Goblin nation to have it removed in a week or two, what about my magic? Is it affected or compromised?"

Croaker: "You are full of surprises Lord Potter, this thing is siphoning a big part of your magic, there are blood-wards active also feeding on your magic, highly illegal too. We will remove the blood-wards now, for that abomination in your scar, it can't be done here, so the Goblins can remove it at Gringotts."

Bogroc: "Basilisk-slayer, your magic is using more than half its capacity to feed those two things. The wizard who put up those blood-wards is going to shovel dragon dung for the rest of his life."

"Well Bogroc I squibbed him, I doubt he will survive very long. But feel free to feed him to your dragons."

The removal of the blood-wards went smooth, it felt like a backpack was lifted from my shoulders. Let's try some magic tendrils myself, I reached out into the room and made contact with the head couple, surrounding them trying to feel their magic, Missy crossed her legs blushing and the head boy covered his crotch….. "OOPS, I am very sorry to you both, I was trying if I could reach out with my magic, I didn't know I could physically touch you with it, or even knew it was possible."

Head boy: "I did not know it to Lord Potter, it felt really uncomfortable and invasive."

Missy whispered: "Very invasive."

"Again I am very sorry I will find a way to compensate you for this violation and await your suggestions."

Croaker: "You can remove your hand now Lord Potter, what you experienced was because of your contact with the ward-stone. This ward-stone is very powerful and amplified your magic causing the discomfort of those two. Still, it is unheard of for physical contact with magic. We can sense with magic but it is always with a spell, and feel it too but with our senses, not our skin.

We are done down here, we will file a report to you, the school, Gringotts so and the Ministry, I'm sure Bogroc will do the same. What other business do you have with me, Lord Potter?"

"There is supposed to be a curse on the job of Defense against the dark arts. Can you form a team with Gringotts to find and remove it during summer? This is going for more than 25 years, so it's long overdue. The other item is for you only, the Goblin nation already knows of it. Tell me Bogroc how much did you have to pay to view my memory?"

Bogroc: "It is scheduled four days from now, 5 Galleons did them ask, highway robbery I say, but the warriors that watched it, told us it was worth its money, so I am looking forwards to it."

"Accompany me up to the headmaster's office and I threat with a free viewing, all here are invited."

Moving up and closing the doorway I called: "Elder Hoggy? Can you please bring the pensive that was here in the headmaster's office?" With a snap of his fingers, I so going to try and learn this, the Potter pensive appeared. "Another thing Dumbels stole from House Potter. Anyway, this is me killing a snake."

I took the memory and put it in the pensive. "If someone conjures some chairs to sit around, it's about 30-40 minutes, so sit down and enjoy the show." Fuck telling the story, let them see the bloody thing themselves. Missy is going to piss her pants, head boy... Yes, he too.

I hope they realize the 50 galleons I'm missing with this free show… I am going to die a poor man, giving all these freebies. We took our seats and put a finger in the bowl. Starting from Fraudheart obliviating himself, till the stab in the diary and ghost Tommy disappears.

Missy was screaming when the snake came up until it died. The head boy had to pull her away, it started to annoy the Goblins, she buried her head on his chest, he put his arms around her, the bastard was scoring Kudo points, even had a hand on her ass. If he plays his cards right getting laid tonight is possible.

Here I was… The hero.. 'claiming' six girls… and have to wait at least 3 years before I can even think about getting laid. Calculating my chances I get depressed, assuming I am in a coma, I expect they pull the plug after four or five months tops. I had my view on it made very clear: "I don't want to live like a vegetable, if there is no hope on recovery, pull the plug."

Then making this five months count… I do NOT mean to bang 13-14-year-old girls, far from it, but I spend my real puberty in an all boy's school, and on holidays had few contacts with girls, so this puberty is going to spend with a lot of them.

And yes it is embarrassing at 19 years old, not knowing which button to push to get rid of her knickers.

Croaker was pale, he needed some time to get his bearings straight. "Lord Potter, the implications of this event are going to be unheard of."

"I know Mr. Croaker the next memory is a good one too." Putting basilisk memory in a vial, by now I had some spares with me and put freeing Dobby in the bowl. "5 minutes but also 5 galleons worth."

Now, me 'Harry' surviving a second Avada got them speechless. Except for Missy, she was a screamer it seems, her lung capacity was staggering, the high tones she could reach… If the witch thing doesn't work out, a carrier in the opera was possible.

"You know Mr. Croaker, after Lucius Avadad me, for a few moments my life flashed before me, from the moment Tom did the first when I was sixteen months, up until he killed me off in my seventh year here in the forbidden forest.

I saw what Dumbledore did to me, the abuse from snape, the Daily Garbage-Prophet, the stupidity from the ministry, and the rotting ulcers in the wizard community.

It was like each year was a book I read or a normal's movie picture I saw. When I came by, remembering all the shit that is shoveled on to me, I decided to fucking change it all, and this is what I'd been doing since yesterday.

So I made snape my slave and squibbed Dumbledore. Those death-eaters are next, especially those who infiltrated the ministry, yes there are a lot of them."

I put Lucius in a vial and produced some more memories, the ones from the hospital wing and yesterday's dinner, and gave them to Croaker. "Look them over, I suspect Fudge and his toad here tomorrow, make sure you are there too with some trustworthy people, those two are the worst after the death-eaters. If they make a fuss I will screw them over. Now is there anything you want to ask?"

Croaker: "I will hold my questions until viewed these memories, Lord Potter."

"Then we are done here. Master Goblins thank you for your assistance Make your invoice to Hogwarts, there must be a fund for it, if not I'll create one. Head boy and Missy ask a house elf for the location of Madam Marchbanks and do your report. And head boy makes sure Missy is alright, she is pretty shaken up. Elder Hoggy?" Hoggy popped in "Yes Master Gryffin?" "Elder Hoggy can you put my pensive back in my quarters please."

I connected with the wards and opened the floo in the office, "I connected the floo here so you can leave from here. After all left I asked Hoggy: "are there secret places here in the office?"

"Yes, Master Gryffin There are two secret rooms." I looked at the paintings: "where are the rooms and are there traps in them?"

With guiding from Hoggy and the paintings I inspected the rooms, Grimoires from family's who were extinct, like MC Kinnon, Books about rituals and dark spells, it was a real treasure grove. Of course, the stone was there, I have to check Flamel is still live, several items with the Potter crest on were there. That man was worse than a magpie. Now the main question, did that bastard make a Horcrux too?

I made contact with the ward-stone and put my magic senses out in the rooms, not sure I find anything anyway, I'm only one day here and don't have a clue what to look for or how to look for it.

Several things stood out, the trinkets behind his desk, Harry monitors I guess. And yes sir a locket with very dark vibes was hidden behind a bookshelf, tomorrow I'm introducing it with a basilisk tooth. The diadem is going with me to the goblins, and the locket from Grimmauldplace, Kreacher should listen to an Heir of House Black.

I closed everything back up closed the floo, and told Hoggy to seal the office again.

Walking to my quarters I observed the castle, this is where the movies screwed up big times, how can a building of 1000 years old, build in a style from 500 years ago, or it was a mish-mash of building styles, which makes it an eyesore for me.

At my door, I said "Albus and Tom are best buddies" the armor nodded and opened the door.

Entering "Honey's, I'm home!"

My herd of does came running, hug's all around, then Tracey said: "My parents are coming tomorrow after breakfast." Daphne, Luna, and Hannah together: "Ours too!"

Fuck, the in-laws are coming. I hope I survive tomorrow.