Dead Inside

Faint light filtered through the translucent curtains, casting a soft orange hue over Eren's face as he stared blankly out the window.

His lips curved downward into a faint frown, his thoughts heavy and restless. Behind him, Levi's voice grated through the air, laced with irritation as he cursed at him. Yet, Eren barely registered it, too lost in the image seared into his mind—the broken girl he'd seen over the past few days.

Mikasa.

Her tear-streaked face, her ragged breaths. The way she looked at him, unflinchingly loyal, even when he'd been cold and distant.

In two days, she would leave. She would pack her belongings, walk away, and join the Military Police. And that would be it. They would become strangers, nothing more than distant, bittersweet memories. A pang shot through his chest at the thought, but he shoved it down, burying it beneath layers of self-imposed detachment.

A faint knock at the door jolted him from his spiral. He instinctively curled into himself, huddling on the edge of his bed, his hands pressing tightly against his ears as if to block out the world.

Don't come. Don't speak.

He knew what he'd hear if he opened the door. Her voice—shaky, fragile—would break him further, and he wasn't sure he could take it.

"Idiot... You alive?"

The voice wasn't hers. It was sharp, low, and distinctly annoyed. Eren sighed and let his hands fall to his sides, his fingers curling into the bedsheets before he slid his feet into his slippers. The cold of the floor met his dragging steps as he trudged to the door.

With a reluctant twist of the lock, he opened it, his tired eyes meeting Levi's piercing gaze.

"Yo. What's—"

Before he could finish, a sudden, brutal punch to his abdomen sent him crumpling to his knees. Pain exploded through him, saliva dripping from his mouth as he doubled over.

"The hell..." Eren groaned, clutching his stomach as he glared up at Levi, only to catch sight of someone standing behind him.

A familiar grin met his gaze.

"Armin?" Eren rasped, his brows furrowing in confusion as his eyes darted between Levi and his blonde friend.

Levi's cold stare scanned the room, his nose wrinkling in disgust. "The hell's that smell? Did you shit yourself from that punch?"

Eren's jaw clenched as he tried to retort, but Armin stepped forward, his hand extended with an amused smile. Despite himself, Eren accepted the help, his fingers wrapping around Armin's steady grip as he pulled himself to his feet.

"Here. Eat up."

Levi's gruff voice interrupted as he shoved a piece of bread into Eren's mouth without ceremony. The taste was stale, but Eren chewed mechanically, his body still protesting the force of the punch.

Levi turned away, his boots thudding softly against the floor as he moved toward the curtains. With a sharp tug, he yanked them open, flooding the room with light.

Eren shielded his eyes, squinting at the sudden brightness.

"What are you two doing here?" he finally managed, his voice rough.

Levi glanced over his shoulder, his expression unreadable. "Cleaning up your mess, idiot."

"Mess?" Eren started to protest, but his words faltered as he felt Armin's hand slide against his abdomen from behind.

"Mikasa… I'll always wrap that scarf around you… now and forever," Armin teased, his voice adopting a playful lilt as if mimicking Eren.

Eren choked violently on the bread he was chewing, his face flushing with embarrassment. "The fuck!" he sputtered, snatching a glass of water from Levi's outstretched hand. Levi's expression remained one of utter disappointment as he watched.

"Ereh… My Ereh…" Armin continued, his voice high-pitched and exaggerated like a lovesick girl's.

Eren turned an even deeper shade of red, jerking away from Armin and glaring at him. "How… how do you even know about that?" he stammered, his flustered face betraying his growing discomfort.

Levi, ever unimpressed, answered the question with another quick, brutal punch to Eren's stomach.

Eren doubled over, grunting. "How else?" Levi deadpanned, straightening his glove as though nothing unusual had occurred.

Then, like a terrible realization dawning, Eren's eyes widened. "Don't tell me… Did she…" His voice trailed off, almost pleading.

Armin nodded enthusiastically, his chuckle filled with mischief.

"So… you two kissed, huh?" Levi asked flatly, his tone betraying no emotion as his hand brushed over the dusty surface of a side table. His gaze darkened as he stared at his finger. "This place is filthy."

Eren, already crimson, buried his face in his hands. The embarrassment was suffocating. "It's not like that!" he protested weakly, though his burning face told a different story.

Levi sighed, shaking his head. "I never thought she'd be the one to make the first move."

Armin leaned back, grinning. "Honestly, I didn't either. But good for her." He glanced at the ceiling, a faintly amused smile tugging at his lips.

Eren, meanwhile, sat slumped forward on the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees. He couldn't even look at them. His mind whirled not with anger but with discomfort at how quickly things spiraled. He wasn't mad at Mikasa for spilling the details, but he'd have preferred the whole kissing incident stayed buried forever.

"So, what's next?" Levi asked, crossing one leg over the other as he lounged comfortably on the sofa.

"Nothing," Eren muttered, his eyes fixed on the floor.

Levi raised an eyebrow, his expression sharpening. "So after everything you said to her, after kissing her, you just want it all to disappear? Pretend it never happened? Move on?"

"Maybe…"

Levi's fist connected with Eren's ribs again, drawing another pained grunt.

"Hey! Am I some kind of punching bag to you?" Eren protested, clutching his side.

Levi nodded with his signature calm. "Can't help it. You deserve it."

Eren frowned, sighing deeply as he leaned back, letting his head rest on the hard edge of the bench. His thoughts swirled with guilt and frustration, but before he could gather his words, Levi spoke again.

"Well, I can't blame you if you're sick of her. Honestly, she's a pain. Because of her, you've nearly gotten yourself killed—what, thrice now? Sending her to the MPs is the best decision for everyone. I don't want her in my squad anyway."

"That's... that's not true..." Eren whispered, his voice trembling as he clenched his teeth. "I'm not tired of her... I don't want to send her away."

The room fell into silence as Armin gently patted Eren's back, his kind eyes fixed on him with a soft, understanding smile.

Eren's gaze met the floor, his unshed tears threatening to spill. His voice cracked as he confessed, "I... I don't want any of it. I want... I want to be with her. More than anything. But..."

He faltered, the words catching in his throat. Images began to swirl in his mind—the haunting memories of Mikasa's near-deaths. He saw her getting caught in the Titan's jaws in Trost, the sickening moment Annie's palm almost crushed her, the blast of the Colossal Titan, her bloodied face in the field as she clung weakly to him.

"I... I saw her almost die... so many times," he admitted, his voice barely audible, his shoulders trembling under the weight of his memories.

His tears finally fell, hot and unrelenting, as he continued. "I've lost everyone I ever loved and cared about—Mom... Dad... Aunt and Uncle... Hannes... everyone. I'm scared that I might lose her too..." His voice broke entirely. "I... I can't bear it."

The tears cascaded freely now, his emerald eyes glistening in the faint light filtering into the room. His voice softened, but the raw emotion behind it was unmistakable.

"She's the most precious person to me. Mere words can't define how much I love her. But... I have to make sure she's safe. That she lives a long, peaceful life."

Eren looked up at Armin then, his shimmering green eyes locking onto his friend's gaze. "Same goes for you, Armin," he whispered, his voice hoarse yet resolute.

Armin stared at him, his smile faltering slightly, though his hand remained steady on Eren's shoulder.

Levi, however, broke the solemnity with an exasperated sigh, his head resting on his fist. "Then why'd you ask Kristen such lousy questions the night before the expedition? Are you some sort of idiot?"

"What questions?" Armin interjected, his brow arching as he turned his curious gaze toward Eren.

Eren quickly broke the connection, dropping his gaze back to the floor. His silence was deafening.

"This idiot..." Levi muttered, rubbing his temples as though the absurdity of it all was physically draining. "He went and asked Kristen if he'd join the MPs alongside the other brat. Said it'd be best for them to get along, maybe even support each other over time."

Armin's eyes widened, his gaze darting between Levi and Eren, who sat hunched over, his face hidden by the mop of his disheveled hair. Levi continued, voice heavy with disdain.

"And while Kristen was living in his delusional world this one here" Levi gestured lazily toward Eren, "was busy thinking that he'd simply spout crap to hurt Mikasa—doing everything he could to make her hate him more."

Armin couldn't believe it. "What?!" His voice trembled with disbelief as he turned to Eren. "You wanted her to hate you? Why?"

Eren didn't answer. His hands clenched tightly on his lap, his gaze locked on the floor as though the answers to all his problems lay hidden in the worn wooden planks beneath his boots.

"Long story short," Levi said with a sigh, his head tilting back against the rigid sofa, "he wanted her to forget about him. To move on. Why? I have no idea. But that's not even the dumbest part. He had Kristen answer some very specific questions, and—unsurprisingly—Kristen failed miserably."

Eren's shoulders trembled as he spoke, his voice hoarse. "Armin... Lust is different from love. Why can't anyone understand that?" He exhaled shakily, brushing at his tear-streaked face. "All Kristen could talk about was her looks. Her beauty. Nothing else."

Armin's lips parted, but no words came. He could only watch Eren in silence, a storm of emotions swirling in his chest. Why? Why couldn't Eren see what everyone else did? Why couldn't he let himself be happy? Why did he always push her away, sacrificing his will, his feelings? Couldn't he, for once, be selfish?

"I never expected you to be this pathetic... Falling in love with that pain..." Levi sighed as Eren shot him a glare.

"So what if I do!! Plus don't forget I'm the one who hooked you up with Petra... You owe me for that..." Eren sighed as a smirk creeped onto Levi's face.

"I know, you idiot..."

Before Armin could voice his thoughts, Levi's calm, low voice cut through the air, its sharpness as precise as his blade.

"Idiots. How long do I have to keep doing this?" Levi muttered, his tone exasperated, though his tired eyes betrayed a hint of amusement. "Isn't this much enough?"

Eren, sensing something off in Levi's voice, glanced up, his heart pounding. He froze.

At the doorway stood Petra and Hange, their faces a mix of curiosity and restrained laughter. And in the center—Mikasa. Her dark eyes brimmed with unshed tears, her cheeks flushed a deep crimson.

Her fists were clenched tightly at her sides, her trembling lips a telltale sign of her internal battle. She looked angry, embarrassed, and—somewhere beneath it all—happy.

Eren's eyes widened in shock as the truth struck him like a thunderbolt. They'd been listening. They'd heard everything.

The realization was paralyzing. His gaze darted back to Levi, whose neutral expression now carried the faintest smirk. This wasn't a coincidence. They planned it... All of it.

Eren rose shakily to his feet, his green eyes locking onto Mikasa's for the briefest of moments before shame overtook him. His gaze fell once more to the floor.

"I... Sor—" He barely managed to utter the word before—

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