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I'm a Pastor, what the hell is an Acute Gastroenteritis Outbreak Spell?!

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn't help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire. Firstly, what in the world is the "Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis" spell? And don't even get me started on the "Osteoporosis" spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like "Blood Burn," "Gradual Freeze," and "Mental Chaos." Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities? Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn't help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield "Doomstorm" and "Ice Age," swordsmen boast "Sword Rain: Homecoming" and "Wind-Cutter Slash," while archers showcase "Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars" and "Storm Arrow." Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named "Cancer Cell Proliferation," "T-Virus Infection," and "Rabies Outbreak." In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, "Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!" Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, "Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don't know!" Even a boss character confesses, "Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!"

Yiqian Qingdai · Spiele
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601 Chs

Chapter 15 - The Horror of Anal Fissure Features! Powerful AOE Control!

"Who are you?!"

The figure of the deceitful bandit once again materialized, his tone extremely angry: "What did you do?!"

"What did I do?"

Zheng Cheng grinned: "Guess?"

His Acute Gastroenteritis Instant Eruption Technique, after being upgraded to LV3, had transformed from a single-target spell to an area spell.

Every time it was released, it could target three objects.

The moment Yao Zhixue froze Qingteng, he had already broken free from Qingteng's control spell.

An Acute Gastroenteritis Instant Eruption Technique fell on the deceitful bandit and the black wolf.

The deceitful bandit's level and strength were obviously higher than the black wolf's, otherwise he wouldn't have resisted for such a long time.

As if sensing something, the bandit's face changed dramatically, he roared: "Black Wolf! Kill him quickly!"

"Com...Commander, I...I might've eaten something bad, I am... fluttering…" the Black Wolf managed to speak while holding his stomach.

At this time, the middle-aged Professionist also recovered.

This was a life and death battle, why wait!

He wiped the filth from the corner of his mouth, held his breath, picked up his giant sword and slashed.

"Die, damned Fallen One!"

"Damn it!"

The Black Wolf, who was still straining, changed his complexion, pushed off with both legs, narrowly avoiding the attack, leaving a yellow fluid in mid-air.

He clenched his sphincter muscle, temporarily sealing the gushing liquid, and clawed from below.

"Even if I'm shitting myself, killing you is as easy as..."

"Plop...!"

Barely making a move, his abdomen churned again. The muscle immediately relaxed, and another large ball of sticky liquid sprayed out.

"Plop!"

The middle-aged Professionist swung his sword again, and due to the severe abdominal pain and his position in mid-air, the Black Wolf's body could not dodge in time!

A single stroke dissected his right arm at the elbow!

"Ah!"

Black Wolf screamed and immediately spun around to run.

"Commander! I can't stop it! I'm fluttering... Ah!"

As he ran, he still couldn't stop, another large ball of purely yellow sticky liquid gushed out.

The ground was full of it, even the hair between his legs was covered in the disgusting liquid.

"Die, you!"

The middle-aged Professionist roared, picked up his giant sword and chased after him!

Meanwhile, Yao Zhixue suddenly grabbed in the direction where Black Wolf was escaping

"Damn it! Black Wolf, dodge quickly!"

The deceitful bandit in the distance changed his complexion and loudly warned.

The fleeing Black Wolf didn't hesitate and immediately pounced forward.

But it was too late!

A frozen pathway emerged in front of Black Wolf, freezing him in his tracks.

If it had been earlier, he could easily have shattered this frozen pathway with a single heave.

But now, with his severe abdominal pain and his right arm severed, his instinctive reaction was slowed down by countless times.

"Plop!"

The middle-aged Professionist finally caught up and his sword struck the Black Wolf's neck!

Sharp and tenacious, without any hindrance, he beheaded the Black Wolf!

The massive wolf body quivered and finally slammed heavily on the ground.

Blood spouted from above it, while the yellow liquid still gushed from below it.

"Damn it!"

The bandit cursed, his normally calm face now distorted by rage.

Seeing the middle-aged Professionist who had just killed the Black Wolf now coming towards him, his eyes were filled with wrath.

"This mission must not fail!"

"I..."

"Gulp..."

The bandit's face abruptly changed, and he glanced at Zheng Cheng involuntarily.

"Damn kid! What did you do?!"

He already felt a severe pain emerging from his abdomen.

Such a severe pain, even with his strength, he couldn't suppress it.

Zheng Cheng grinned, then turned to run.

Joking aside, if the BOSS was to let out an attack right now, he was still LV0, helpless.

If he was accidentally hit, he would be doomed.

"Bastard!"

The bandit cursed again, took a deep breath, endured the severe abdominal pain, and turned around to charge at Yao Zhixue again.

"This pain is nothing, as long as I capture Yao Zhixue that our lord wants..."

"Urgh..."

The intense pain in his abdomen, made him slow down by a third.

Even his attacking movements, became incredibly weird.

Zhixue's bright eyes, experienced this feeling deeply.

Her exquisite face, also revealed a hint of smile.

With a wave of her hand, the surrounding fog condensed, to surprisingly form three ice blades more than half a meter long in the air, shooting towards Guibai.

"Lassie! Come with me!"

The strange tone of Guibai came in, his figure flickered in the air, surprisingly producing three different shadows.

He easily dodged these three ice blades, and directly lunged towards Zhixue.

"Ah.....!"

In the mid-air, Guibai suddenly screamed.

A large amount of liquid surged out from his lower body, also carrying a strong smell of fresh blood.

His anus split!

Guibai forcibly suppressed the Acute Gastroenteritis Instant Eruption Technique, forcing the Acute Gastroenteritis Instant Eruption Technique to delay for a few seconds.

However, it triggered the characteristic of the Acute Gastroenteritis Instant Eruption Technique.

His anus split!

His entire rectum, has already split open.

That kind of piercing nerve pain, simply isn't something a mere Ghostraven assassin could withstand.

At this moment, he collapsed like a huge shrimp, a large amount of liquid mixed with blood gushed out.

And with each pour, his whole body convulsed continuously.

In just several seconds, he foamed and lost consciousness.

"This…"

Zhixue and the middle-aged professionist were all stunned.

Among these three Fallen Ones, Ghost Guibai was believed to be the most powerful.

But who would have thought, he lost his combat ability so quickly?

"Tsk…"

The frost enveloping Zhixue immediately dispersed, and her stunning figure slowly came out.

"Priest, you…"

"Hey! Who are you two, can you explain what happened here?"

The middle-aged man came over covering his mouth, and said coughingly.

Folks, who understands!

I just wanted to have a private time with my girlfriend, we haven't even scored yet, and were locked in a small space.

Then three menacing Fallen Ones appeared.

If I wasn't vigilant and brave, I would've been killed!

Zhixue's face changed slightly, and apologized: "I'm sorry sir, they probably targeted me."

"You?"

The middle-aged man wondered, "How could Dawn Organization target a young girl like you?"

"My name is Yao Zhixue."

"Yao Zhixue, Yao Zhixue..."

The middle-aged man repeated with a sudden gleam in his eyes: "The ninth star professionist from Junior High School 12!"

"No wonder..."

"My name is Huang Jiu, you can call me Old Huang."

Being named as the up-and-coming ninth star professionist, her name was almost known to the entire Xia Country.

Almost everyone, was looking forward to this rising new star.

While speaking, his face became even weirder looking at those people lying on the ground.

"Can any of you tell me, what on earth is going on?"

Zhixue's face was a bit embarrassed, and explained: "This…"

With the death of Guibai and his teammates, the fog that had originally shrouded the surrounding area was dissipating at a noticeable speed.

And in the darkness, three more figures rushed up.

"Hmm? Someone's coming!"

"Damn Fallen Ones…"

The trio became alert immediately, but they heard the newcomers also in great astonishment.

"Captain! The black fog is dispersing!"

"How could it disperse so quickly? Has our target been taken away? Rush in there, stop them!"

"Ugh... why does it smell so bad in here?"

Three figures, soon appeared in front of Cheng Zheng and the others.

"Huh? Zhixue?!"