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I'm A Great Villain So The Author Hates Me

Work In Progress Premise: Asani left a comment on a novel that he thought the villain should have won against the hero. It was due to bad writing and monologues that he lost. After getting hit by the legendary trucka-kun and being transmigrated into the novel as a minor villain with the same name, Asani's job is to be a better villain to defeat the heroes The problem is that the author of the novel hates him. He continually writes additional gifts for the heroes, sets pits for him, and does everything within his bounds as the god of the world to defeat him. Join Asani as he fights against his built-in character flaws, organizes the villains into a consistent state, and tries his best to defeat the author while being a successful villain.

Summer_Daze · Fantasie
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53 Chs

Chapter 38 – First Dungeon (17)

POV: Asani Martin

 

As I walked past the still-sitting Lionel, I gave him an amused smile while waving his sword in a mocking manner before I walked toward the back entrance.

 

Stepping out, I saw the bodies of the students lined up neatly on the ground, still swaddled by webs. They all lay deathly still, and if it wasn't for the slight movement of their chests, I would have thought they were dead. Once I was out of sight of lionel, I called out to the mimic.

 

"Oi, blobby."

 

Squeak?

 

Grabbing the stinky mimic from my head, I chucked it down at the ground.

 

As it hit the ground with a splat, looking like a puddle of ink, I poked it with Lionel's sword. As it reformed into its usual shadow blob form, it rolled around, avoiding the sword, and squeaked indignantly.

 

"What the hell did you eat that you're so stinky? And you dared to stink me up, too? Shall I beat you up?"

 

As it shook its body rapidly, I gave it a gentle smile.

 

"Then open your mouth and store this sword for me with your storage skill. Properly spit it up when I want it back later, got it?"

 

The mimic began wiggling before creating human-like lips, and then the discordant voice whispered.

 

"Sorry."

 

"Apology accepted. Open up." 

 

Tossing the sword to it, I watched as its mouth ripped and expanded until it looked like a black hole, then swallowed the sword and let out a horrific belch. Releasing more of that stinky gas.

 

"Disgusting. Stay the hell away from me, you stinky skunk. If you want to be useful, go find my pack and bring it back." I calmly booted it away from me as it tried to cling to me.

 

Ignoring the feelings of sadness it sent over, I crafted a small knife and began the tedious job of slicing the webbing on each student while taking the opportunity to analyze them.

 

Spotting a couple of mimics among them, I took note of them and made sure to steal all the watches of those with messed up statuses and grab any weapon I saw. As for the other students, I let them keep their watches for now while transferring the majority of their points to myself.

 

Although I wanted to kill the mimics now, I didn't want to alert Lionel, and more importantly, I was more curious about what they were planning to do. It would be better to maintain the status quo and kill them later or, even better, use them as a bargaining chip to gain some benefits from the school.

 

Laughing happily at the points raking in, I compared my current amount to those on the leaderboard. Seeing that I was now behind the current leader, Solomon, by only a few thousand points, I was almost tempted to sell Lionel his sword back for all his points and register myself just to see the look on Solomon's face as he got knocked down a rank.

 

Unfortunately, that would be silly. I couldn't let Lionel have a weapon around me; I didn't want a target on my back and definitely didn't want to antagonize that crazy Nova brat any more than I had before. I would just have to wait until the exam results were announced when this tortuous exam was over.

 

Whistling happily at the thought of the surprised look on Professor Lee's face when I not only came in the top ten but the top 5 as well, I continued freeing the students of both the webbing and their points while keeping an eye out for Lionel, Julius, and Lina.

 

Lina was still busy looking for cores while Julius was arguing intensely with Lionel.

 

The little mimic brought my pack over while it chirped unhappily in bird form. I don't know where it found water, but it was less stinky and a bit damp, so after patting it, I allowed it to rest on my head before I began bringing out ingredients to begin making dinner. 

 

To feed the sheer amount of people, it only made sense to make a large stew and rice, so I began chopping up meat chunks, vegetables, and potatoes, sauteeing and seasoning them up before letting everything begin to stew in 3 large pots. 

 

As the food began bubblinng, an enticing scent began spreading all around. Satisfied, I created a chair for myself and sat down while occasionally stirring the pots and keeping an eye all around.

 

"Mmmm, that smells delicious. What are you making, Asani?" Lina asked as she dragged over a large log to sit on as she stared at me. Glancing at her ash-covered face, I rolled my eyes before replying.

 

"Stew beef with rice. Fifty points a bowl. 25 points for a refill."

 

Lina: "…"

Asani: ":)"

 

"You're a scammer, you know that?"

 

"Nobody is forcing you to eat. After all, you also brought ingredients, right? Go and cook for yourself then." I shrugged at her before getting up to stir the pots again.

 

"I only brought ramen, eggs, bacon, and snacks. I can't cook." She grumbled before giving me a mischievous smile as she began edging for one of the pots. Seeing her intentions from a mile away, I smiled gently before crafting a sludge potion bottle and holding it over the pots.

 

"If you try to steal it, I will properly blow it all up, and nobody will be able to eat tonight. Fifty points a bowl and not a point less, Miss Meraki. I know you have it."

 

"Petty kid."

 

"Greedy brat." I retorted.

 

As we stared at each other in a deadlock, one of the students began groaning as he sat up.

 

"Wha- whats going on?"

 

As if it were a chain reaction, the rest of the students slowly woke up, looking confused as they slowly staggered to their feet.

 

"Where am I? Wait, where are the spiders? Do I smell cooked food?"

 

"Beef! I smell beef!!!"

 

"Oh sweet baby Jesus, is that stew? And rice?"

 

As the noise began getting crazy and the students began chattering, I looked around and focused on the obvious troublemakers.

 

Crafting a gun, I shot up in the air twice.

 

Bang! Bang!

 

"Let's be orderly here. Those who have points can buy a bowl of food from me. 50 points a bowl. 25 for a refill. If you can't pay, you can sign an IOU for 1000 credits per bowl, which I will follow up on when we get back to the academy. Miss Meraki here will be the witness."

 

"What?"

"You fucking scammer!"

"Hell no!"

"I don't mind paying."

 

As they began getting rowdy once more, the lead troublemaker, a student called Michael Sloane, a dyed redhead with a mohawk, pushed forward until he stood across from me while glaring angrily.

 

"Wait, aren't you the last ranked student? What makes you think you can bargain with us?"

 

I pinched my nose at the heinous stench coming from him while responding calmly.

 

"First, I just finished risking myself to rescue you from being spider food, so I suggest you watch your tone and don't do anything crazy. Secondly, it's mine, and I can do what I want with it. It's my food, my pots, my fire, my water, my ingredients, and at this point, you're breathing my air. Nobody is forcing you to eat. You all can leave. Just know that if you fuck around with me, you're sure as hell going to find out."

 

"Let's get-,"

 

Before he finished speaking, I shot an explosive bullet at his foot, making sure not to injure him yet forcing him to leap backward and fall on his ass.

 

"I said let's be orderly. Fifty points for a bowl of food. If you buy three bowls, I'll only charge you ninety-nine points. If you don't have your watch, you can sign an IOU with me, or you can make a deal with Miss Meraki here for other food items or supplies. If you try me, the next shot goes through somebody's foot, and then I'll destroy all the food. If you don't believe me, let's try it. I've already eaten."

 

As the students stared at each other, thoughts whirling as they gauged their chances, Julius' voice broke the stalemate as he strolled through, still in his blue boxers.

 

"Hey, kid, anyone causing you trouble?"

 

"I'm not sure. Are you?" I gave the students a shark-like grin.

 

At his appearance, the area immediately quieted down, and as Julius surveyed them with cold eyes, flames licking up his feet, everyone obediently separated into two different lines, one in front of me and one in front of Lina.

 

As I dolled out food and collected points and signatures on IOUs, Lina sold bathing supplies, extra clothing, weapons, and ramen to the other students before telling them to get away.

 

At some point, Lionel had disappeared, and I couldn't see him for at least a mile. Good fucking riddancece.

 

As the area finally cleared after I shot warning bullets toward the loiterers, the three of us finally sat around the fire, digging into multiple plates of food. All that could be heard was the sound of cutlery scraping against plates and the gulps from chugging water.

 

As I dumped some food into the little mimic's mouth, it let out a satisfied burp before climbing onto my lap and spreading into a puddle.

 

"That familiar is pretty useful, and I'm assuming it's yours and not Julius. What is its name?"

 

"Dunno, I just call it blobby."

 

"That's its name? Why do you call it that."

 

"Cause it looks like a blob?" I shrugged

 

"What the hell is wrong with you, Asani? Should I call you big head? Or yellow eyes? Give it a proper name." Lina gave me an incredulous look, and I rolled my eyes at her.

 

"Listen. I don't understand why you're on my case. Professor Lee's familiars are called Red and Blue, so I think I'm ahead of the curve here. Besides, I don't think it cares."

 

"Have you asked it?"

 

"Why would I? It hasn't complained yet."

 

"Well, it can talk for one, so why don't you ask, or I'm changing your name to Yellow Eyes."

 

"I don't know why you care so much," I grumbled before looking down at the little mimic. "Do you want a name?"

 

"Yes." The discordant voice sounded out as a pair of human lips popped out of the puddle in my lap.

 

"Oh. You don't like blobby?"

 

"No."

 

"How about Black?"

 

"No."

 

"Ink? Puddle? Squeaky?" I rattled off a list of names, ignoring Lina's incredulous expression.

 

"No."

 

"You have got to be kidding me, Asani."

 

"What?"

 

"You can't be serious with those names."

 

"I think they're perfectly fine names. Direct and straight to the point. Again, the bar we're aiming to beat is Red and Blue."

 

"No! Choose a good name."

 

"You sure have a lot to say about a familiar that's not yours. If you care so much, why don't you name it."

 

"Wait, c-can I?"

 

"I don't fucking care." I shrugged and continued eating.

 

Suddenly excited, she sat up and began making cat-calling noises at the mimic.

 

"Come here, you little cutie. Your owner might be a piece of shit, but your aunty Lina will name you properly."

 

Separating my legs so the mimic could fall to the floor, it rolled over to her before transforming into a little bird. She quickly cupped it in her hand and began nuzzling her face into it.

 

"How do you feel about Shadow?"

"No"

"Dusk?"

"No."

"Gluttony?"

"No."

 

"Damn…you're picky as hell." Lina mutteered.

 

"How do you feel about Onyx?" I suddenly asked it.

 

The mimic paused for a second; its little bird head tilted in thought before it nodded rapidly.

 

"Okay, from now on, your name is Onyx. Are we done here?"

 

As I sent Lina a smug look, the mimic chirped happily before flying over and resting its chubby body on my shoulder. As it tried to snuggle into me, I lifted it and settled it on my head.

 

It was quiet for a moment, each of us in our own thoughts, before a bright light shone out, and a figure appeared, dragging something behind them.

 

Turning to look at the incoming person, I rolled my eyes and stood up.

 

"Way to make an entrance, Nova."

 

As he stepped into the light, I could see that his body was soaked in blood. His hair was stained red and stuck to his forehead and neck, while his previously gray clothes were stained a dark red.

 

"I try for my fans, you know. Anybody want wings for dinner?" Solomon asked with a slightly crazed smile on his blood-splattered face. Still smiling, he flung the object so it landed right at my feet with a meaty thunk. Seeing what he threw, I couldn't help but frown at him in disgust as I kicked it back toward him.

 

It was a wing.

 

A dark blue, feathered wing with cuts and blood all over it. The wing itself was taller than even Julius, and if I hadn't seen the owner a couple of days ago, I would have assumed it came from a monster-sized chicken.

 

Lina took one look at the large blood wing that clearly came from one of the heroes we had seen at the beginning of the exam and began puking her guts out as her face turned red, white, and then green. Her eyes began watering as she continually heaved.

 

Seeing her reaction, Solomon laughed wildly before picking the large wing up and waving it around as if it were a banner, causing several small feathers to fly into the air.

 

"What? If you squint, it kind of looks like a big chicken wing, right? I think it would be tasty if we roast it. Unless you brought a deep fryer? I haven't quite figured out how to duplicate frying with lightning yet," Solomon said with a wry grin before tossing it down again.

 

"You are a sick individual, Nova," Julius muttered before standing up. "Kid, I'm going to walk around and see if I can spot Lionel or kill some monsters to get this bad taste out of my mouth. Call me if you need me."

 

"Okay. Kill any big monsters you see, and make sure not to go too far. Try to stay within a mile for me, and, I guess, more if you want Nova to find you. And take Meraki with you. She looks…pale"

 

"Got it. Let's go shorty." 

 

As the two of them left, I looked back at Solomon, noting that although he was standing upright and acting as crazy as usual, he was actually injured. His left arm hung limply at his side, looking as if it couldn't be moved, and from what I remembered, that was his dominant hand. His face was unbearably pale and covered in sweat. Occasionally, a chill would wrack his body, causing him to shiver.

 

He was clearly falling sick, had some serious injuries, and was trying to cover it up.

 

"Clean yourself up, you idiot."

 

Sighing, I stood up, crafting a towel, and threw it at his injured arm. As he turned his body and caught it with one hand, the other one not moving except for a twitch, it confirmed my suspicions. 

 

At best, his arm was just dislocated; at worst, he had nerve damage. Either way, it needed to be bound up, and he needed to stop moving it around. What a mess.

 

"It seems you've properly tamed Crimson while I was gone. How nice." Solomon turned to watch the retreating Julius before giving me a weird smile.

 

"First of all, shut up and sit down. You look like a hot mess."

 

"You should see the other person."

 

"Sure, sure. Just sit and let me pop your arm back in place before you damage it even more. It looks painful."

 

"Aww, don't tell me that you care about me all of a sudden?"

 

"I don't. I just think it would be foolish if objectively the best combatant on my side gets uselessly incapacitated from an injury that could be treated."

 

Solomon glanced at me coldly, his crystal eyes flashing as I felt a scan wash over me. Annoyed at his delay, I Analyzed him right back, forcing as much mana into it as I could to make him uncomfortable.

 

"Heh. Funny brat. My arm is dislocated, but it doesn't matter; I don't need it to do battle. I'll just wait it out until we get back, and I can get treatment from the nurse."

 

"Then let me at least clean the cuts with some alcohol. Infections are a bitch. Unless you're scared of a little pain." I observed his reaction, watching as he slightly twitched.

 

"I'm not. I'm telling you I don't need it, but if you're begging to treat me, who am I to say no."

 

As he sat down on the log. I crafted another towel and retrieved some alcohol from my pack. Walking over, I draped it over his head.

 

"Alright, I'm going to start pouring it on the count of five. One, two-"

 

Grabbing his arm, I quickly stretched it out and rotated it until it popped back into its socket.

 

As Solomon bit back a yelp and his head snapped backward, I quickly shifted behind him, crafted a strip of bandages and wrapped his arm before crafting a sling and carefully placing his arm in it. 

 

Quickly hooking it to his opposite shoulder, I smacked him upside the head before taking the towel and walking away.

 

"You're a fucking bastard." He gritted his teeth as more sweat poured down his face.

 

"And you're a pussy ass bitch who's afraid of pain. You gonna eat or not?" I didn't bother responding and just dished some food for him and offered him a plate.

 

He glared at me while mana visibly fluctuated around his body.

 

"I'm not afraid of pain; I just hate dealing with small wounds." He explained.

 

"I don't care. Food Going once. Food Going twice." 

 

"You're being awfully friendly to me now. Treating my injury. Feeding me. What do you want?"

 

"First of all, I'm always friendly to people who are friendly to me. Secondly, I just don't like questioning people on an empty stomach, so eat up until you're full and have regained your energy. That way, you can properly explain to me why the hell you look like that and why the hell you sent us to go work with a mimic instead of the real Lionel Lionheart."

 

Solomon stared at me, his eyes widening slightly before narrowing thoughtfully.

 

Snatching the plate from my hand, I could see a mana form the shape of a hand and hold it before him. Grabbing the spoon from the plate, he pointed it at me.

 

"Let's trade information. You talk first, and I'll eat. What the hell do you mean by Lionel's a mimic?"

 

Looking at him asking me questions when he should be the one clarifying things, I couldn't help but agree with Julius.

 

"You're fucking useless, you know that?"