Red Sucker

I stain every forty days and it's a bit abnormal. Everytime I bleed I am bound to stain my pants. I bleed too much on the first two days and lasts for at least 7 days. Everytime I am on my periods I am stressed out by my stains and the period pain. But what happens to me may or may not happen to every girl child in Nepal.

If I have stained my underwear my days counts. The three days I have to live like an uncomfortable outsider in my own house. The fourth day I am like a normal person only after I bath.



Lets talk about the three days. If I want to drink water, I have to tell someone at home to give me the water I take everytime except for the three days every month. I am not supposed to eat at the dining table but separately in a chair or a stool with no tables. I am blamed by my mother that I bled and cannot help in the kitchen. I am tagged a low life or an impure every three days a month until I bath on the fourth day.

I cant kiss my mom or hug her because she believes that a kiss or hug by me will make her a impure person. I am supposed to not touch my father god knows why but I still do. I can't tell my brother to buy me sanitary pads as a gift because every single person will look at me like they are a scientist looking for jaadu(alien).

Now the main question is WHY tagging girls a low life or an impure object these three days. Everytime I bleed I don't want to be restrained going to the kitchen or puja kotha. I don't want to be regarded as a low life or an impure being. I asked my mom....



She told me that's how it's been and I won't allow you to break it. She tells me if her mother knew I am questioning about why then she will scold me. They tell me its impure blood and temples and kitchen are supposed to be clean. But I think I have a pad on. Then again i also bleed for the extra 4 days then why am I allowed on those days.

There are many reasoning given to me but still have not gotten the answers that can make me believe that they are correct.

Now let me tell you how I was a victim. Though I am not treated as the girls in the villages but still I would regard myself a victim of this practice. I am made believe as I start my periods that I am a low life and cant touch the statue of gods and can't enter kitchen. This gets on in our nerve that we start to believe yes we are impure just like how we are made believe in our culture and religion. So what happens to me nowadays is I don't want to believe in those practices but I think 100 times if my mom will approve or not, I think if this is the right thing to do or not, what if mom makes me wash all the dishes for entering the kitchen, will I hurt her emotionally? I start to think such things and eventually give up on the idea of entering the kitchen.

It's sad that my mom thinks the three days are to rest as I will be feeling uncomfortable and be in pain. But she doesn't get that even if she lets me enter the kitchen I can rest and avoid all the chores. Not letting me enter the kitchen or puja kotha telling me I am a low life just adds a large amount of emotional stress in me.

I think women should understand each other better rather than enforcing the girls to be and do as their mothers did. It's better if my mom let's me enter the kitchen herself like it's any other day.