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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.

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213 Chs

Cannon (4).

As soon as Loki entered the room, a faint gasp of surprise escaped him.

"Professor Quirrell?" Loki mumbled causing Professor Quirrell to turn around along with Harry and look at him.

Professor Quirell was no longer wearing a turban and his head was facing Harry, but peculiarly there was a face on the back of his head.

"He is not Professor Quirrell!! Harry exclaimed. "He is Voldemort!! He was the one that did it all!!" Harry shouted even though he was bound with thick ropes and lying on the ground like a worm.

'Why is Voldemort still here if he reached before us?' Loki wondered but then he realised something was missing from the scene.

'Where's the Philosopher's Stone!?'

'Has Voldemort not gotten the stone yet?!'

'Is that why Dumbledore couldn't get the stone too!?'

'So only his protagonist Harry is going to be able to pull out the stone!?'

'What is this? The Legend of Merlin and King Arthur!?'

Quirrellmort extended his hands and chanted "Incarcerous!!" but Loki immediately ducked and hid behind a stone pillar in the room leading Quirrellmort to miss the shot.

'Damn! This is getting ridiculous!' Loki complained.

'Isn't this a plot hole!? Why would Dumbledore hire a teacher that has a wraith attached to the back of his head!?'

'Is this why he was wearing a turban stuffed with garlic all this time? So that people stayed away from him!?'

'How did he even endure the smell of Garlic for so long!?'

'I remember the Weasley twins hitting the back of his turban during the winter…aren't they technically the strongest students ever at this point? No wait. Loki stop distracting yourself.'

'Now I need to wait until the Philosopher's stone is out to execute my plan.'

'But do I even need to steal the Philosopher's stone at this rate?'

'Wouldn't Dumbledore use it once Harry removes it from the mirror anyway?'

'So I have to make sure Harry can stay alive and is able to remove the stone so that Hermione can be healed!'

Loki peaked out of the pillar, only for him to duck again as a bright green stream of light shot past him, almost claiming his life.

"I do not know how you defeated him, but this is your end boy.", Voldemort shouted.

To which Loki shouted back in hopes of buying time, "Wait! You're Voldemort right!?"

Voldemort stopped to hear what Loki had to say, allowing him to peak out from behind the pillar again.

"What if I joined your side!?" Loki asked with a smile, "I mean I'm a great student right!? I can help you with your grand plans to conquer the world!!!"

"Avada Kedavra!!"

Almost immediately Voldemort shot another killing curse at him.

Hiding behind the pillar, Loki cursed, 'I have to catch him off guard somehow.'

'But how?'

Loki thought of a few more things in succession and firmed himself to execute a modified version of his plan. 

Loki pulled out the paper crane origami and poured in a bit of his spirituality into it and caused it to glow a bright white light as he felt everything about himself refresh.

'This feeling. It almost makes me feel like I'm high.'

'It feels like anything I do now will only be a success.'

Looking at the origami Loki made his wish.

'I wish to die momentarily in the senses of Voldemort until I wish to be revived again.'

"Avada Kedavra!!"

Rushing from his hiding spot behind the marble pillar towards another as the one he was at was destroyed, Loki shouted, "Why did you drink the Unicorn's blood that night!?"

"Ah, yes, that night. It was you wasn't it.", Quirrellmort spoke in a whisper but Loki and Harry clearly heard it. "But I don't need to tell you about such things."

"Was it to complete a ritual!?" Loki asked with a knowing smile to annoy Voldemort as he went back to hiding behind the pillar, not before tossing a piece of stone that had broken off the previous pillar at Voldemort's face.

Voldemort however didn't answer and just flicked his finger, there was no magic or any magical light and Loki peeked out of the pillar once again but with a smirk on his face.

"Wondering why nothing happened?" Loki teased.

"My curse…you have the blood of a unicorn…" Quirrellmort asked with an angry undertone.

"Haha! Wouldn't you like to know! But I too don't need to tell you such things!"

"Such annoyance. Bugs thinking they can fly where the eagle flies." Quirrellmort spoke in a whisper and then Quirrellmort continued without warning and shouted, "Avada Kedavra!"

Quirrellmort shot a spell that created a green beam of light that shot straight at Loki,but he ducked and flicked his own wand instead, "Confringo!!!!"

A burst of fire pulsed through the room as it engulfed Quirrellmort who calmly waved his wand and caused the flames to disperse.

A little stunned Quirrellmort turned around to look for Loki but he wasn't anywhere near him so he turned his attention back to Harry.

"Even he left. You have no friend now Potter-"

"As if!!!" Quirrellmort and Harry suddenly heard Loki shout from behind the mirror and before Quirrellmort could respond, Loki shouted, "Diffindo!!!!"

An invisible blade shot towards Quirellmort but under Harry's fanatic gaze and Loki's terror, Quirrellmort vanished.

"Two can play a game of tag.", Quirrellmort explained after reappearing behind Loki.

Quirrellmort's hand transformed into a hairy veiny appendage as its claws grabbed onto Loki's throat.

Loki choked and tried to pull Quirrellmort's hand from his neck but couldn't. Except Loki wasn't one to go without a fight, so he stabbed Quirrellmort with his wand through the back of his head.

But Quirrellmort took it like a boulder.

Even though Loki could see his wand had stabbed his head and his brain, Quirrellmort stood still, holding his neck with a smile.

"Good night."

*crack*

Loki's neck snapped and Quirrellmort tossed him aside like a pile of bones. He fell like a puppet with its strings cut and rolled onto the floor.

"NOOOOOOO!!!! LOOOOKIIIIII!!!" Harry shouted. 

But Loki didn't move, he lay right there as still as a corpse.

"Pests must be gotten rid off. I've been meaning to meet you Mr. Potter and nothing will interrupt our meeting." Quirrelmort said as if it was a fact. 

"Come here boy." he whispered and picked Harry up with an iron grip after releasing him from the ropes that bound him and dragged him along until they reached the mirror in the room.

"What do you see?" Quirrlemort asked Harry who was being forced to look into the mirror.

"I- I see- I see the Gryffindor winning the house cup after winning the Quidditch cup!" Harry exclaimed.

Suddenly Quirrlelmort pushed and pulled Harry to shake him up as he whispered, "Do not lie to me boy!"

"Now tell me! Tell me what you truly see!"

"I see my parents congratulating me on winning the Quidditch cup!" Harry said, trying to lie again.

"Stop it! Stop lying!" Voldemort said, fed up with Harry and his lying streak. "You need to be punished! Punishments are what you deserve."

Quirrellmort was about to break Harry's leg using his wand but something deep within Harry spoke out to him in this moment.

A twilight light emerged from his chest, forming a shield around him.

Quirrellmort tried to dispel this light using magic, but the moment it touched his skin a burning sensation caused boils to appear on his hands making it immensely painful for him to continue touching Harry and causing him to drop his wand.

Voldemort was confused at what was happening, but Quirrell suddenly warned Voldemort, "Master! He's alive!!!"

And before Voldemort could turn around and do much, everyone in the room heard a powerful shout. "LUX!"

The room was bathed into a flush of golden light that reached every corner causing Voldemort and Quirrell to scream out in agony and pain.

Both Harry and Loki saw Quirrelmort collapse to the ground under the pressure of the light as his face began to grow warts and pus exploded out of them.

It was only moments later when with a shrill deafening scream Voldemort separated from Quirell and phased away to escape the effects of the Flaring Sun charm.

While Quirrell who did not have any way to escape was burnt to a crisp, leaving only a few clothes and a pile of ash on the floor.

"What was that!?" Harry asked surprised.

"A charm given by Madam Pomfrey." Loki said in a weak voice as he moved closer to Harry.

But as if something had snapped within Harry, he collapsed and fainted.

'What!?'

'Why did he die now!?'

Loki rushed up to him and checked his heartbeat, 'Ok. He's alive. Just fainted. Probably from whatever that last shield of light was.'

'But good for me.'

Looking at Harry with his spirit vision, Loki immediately spotted the 'Philosopher's Stone' and used a vial to fill up the blood from it.

'I'm sure 'Adam' ain't here. Otherwise, Quirrellmort would've noticed.'

Loki then quickly performed a sacrificial ritual and sacrificed the vial full of blood from the 'philosopher's stone' for later use.

'Although I've collected enough blood for a hundred more injuries, I need to pretend that I've stolen some for Hermione too. So that there aren't any suspicions on me.'

'Directing their eyes to the obvious theft would make them oblivious that I stole a lot more than I let on.'

Loki looked at Harry and then collapsed near him, pretending to fall while he cast a simple charm he'd learnt from Dominic.

"Renervate."

Harry woke up with a blistering headache but when he saw Loki collapsing near him, he rushed to him quickly and moved under Loki's shoulder to help him up.

"How did you remain alive!? I saw you- I saw you die!" Harry exclaimed excited but also worried that something had happened to Loki because of the Voldemort.

"No, I'm alright. Someone close to me made me a charm to protect me and it worked." Loki said, pulling out Elane's metallic charm around his neck and showing it to Harry. It's chain had broken and was what made the cracking sound when Quirrellmort snapped Loki's head.

"Someone close?" Harry asked politely.

"Hm~m." Loki said with a smile.

Just as Loki took a step forward he finally collapsed and succumbed to exhaustion. Still, he dully used his position beside Harry's pocket to fill the vial in his hand with blood that was leaking from the Philosopher's stone in his pocket.

"Tell me Harry, what did Quirrlemort tell you?"

And Harry easily distracted began to tell Loki all about Quirrel and his deeds and how throughout the year it was him and not Snape who was attempting to steal the Philosopher's Stone.

And just like that without 'anyone' noticing, Loki ended up with a bottle full of blood from the 'Philosopher's Stone'.

'Hopefully, 'Adam' is sincere enough to heal Hermione, and they let me off with a slap on the wrist because of my 'noble' qualities that caused me to do things like stealing for a sick friend.'

Loki walked with Harry's support until they reached Ron, where Loki said, "Help him up, we can carry him together."

Harry nodded and they adjusted their position until Ron was in between with Harry and Loki on either side as they slowly made their way through the rooms until they reached the devil's snare.

"How are we going to go up?" Harry asked looking at the trap door closed after they'd jumped through it.

"Fluffy!!!!" Loki shouted with as much energy as he could muster.

There was a soft silence for a few seconds before they heard a *WUFF*

"Can you carry us out off here!?" Loki asked back and they heard a soft bark before Fluffy's paw descended from the trapdoor.

Loki lit up his wand with a Lumos Maxima once again for the devil's snare to retreat and then hung himself along with Harry and Ron on Fluffy's claws who then pulled them up slowly.

*WUFF* *WUFF* *WUFF*

Fluffy was excited to see Loki again but the heads were also worried about the blood on him. After Loki reassured them that they weren't his by patting them on their heads and allowing them to *sniff* him, they calmed them down.

"Everything is done down there, could you carry us to the Hospital Wing?" Loki asked.

The dog looked confused for a second as its three heads looked at each other but then Loki said, "The Philosopher's Stone is with him." Loki said pointing at Harry, "You need to protect him now, not the trap door."

*WUFF* *WUFF* *WUFF*

The Cerberus then picked up Harry, Ron and Loki and under the gaze of everyone in Hogwarts, walked under Loki's guidance to the Hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey stepped out with worry once Fluffy pushed the door open.

"What happened to you kids!!" Madam Pomfrey asked with worry as Fluffy pulled him down slowly and placed him near her.

That was the last thing Loki remembered before he collapsed in Madam Pomfrey's rather warm embrace, leaving Harry to explain all the other things to her.

The last thing Loki heard Madam Pomfrey say was, 'God forbid 'He' arrives. 'He' would kill me if he saw what that madman has let happen at our school.'

But he was already half unconscious so he paid no attention to it.

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A/N : Sorry for the short delay but, year one at Hogwarts is coming to an end, how was your experience on this ride?

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