Chapter 8: The Train Ride pt2

"No shit?" the chibi man said.

"Language," Hermione and Harry said, then looked at each other and giggled.

"Fuck you," Wade said, sticking his tongue at them. Then he turned back to Ron. "You have a card game where the cards explode? Can we play?" a very excited chibi man said, clapping his hands and bouncing in his seat, causing Hermione and Neville to stare. Ron was all for playing with the crazy boy.

However, Harry… "NO!" he yelled, waving his hands about in a frantic manner. "I mean, no. Wade and explosives are a no-no," he finished in a pleading voice. "I want to get to school in one piece."

"You are absolutely no fun, asshole," Wade said, pointing his finger at Harry.

"You are absolutely dangerous, you git," Harry retaliated, not pointing his finger.

"Thank you. Sometimes I don't think you notice my awesomeness," Deadpool said, preening to the other kids. They were all sitting with mouths open at the casual display of insults.

"Stop showing off your crazy," Harry said, smiling at his friend's antics. Deadpool was just too cool to stay mad at long.

Somewhere in New York, a feral man shivered, and he knew it was Deadpool's fault. He would never not be angry at that man.

Back on the train, Ron was still staring at Harry. "Why do you look like that?" he finally asked, gesturing his hand up and down, like everything about Harry was wrong.

"I got help," Harry said, looking at the boy who was still staring, mostly at the thin white scar.

"But your scar is gone," the boy pointed out, leaning forward like a closer look would change his perception.

"Look," Deadpool said, using his sword to turn the redhead's head his way. "I know he's pretty but quit staring. It's bothering me," he said, tapping the boy's cheek with Bea, then stowing her back on his back.

"Did you really just get his attention with a katana?" Hermione asked, completely flabbergasted.

"My arms weren't long enough," the masked chibi man said, shrugging like it was a normal thing to do.

Just then the door opened again. There in the doorway stood a waif of a girl. She had light blonde hair and an air of… airiness. "Hello, Wade Wilson, Harry Potter," she said as she glided in and sat next to Neville who was sitting across from Harry, Wade and Hermione. This put her directly across from Deadpool. "I don't know the rest of you," she said, nodding to them anyway.

"Hello, Luna Lovegood," Wade said cheerfully waving the girl in. "What are you doing here? You're not due for another ten chapters or so," he said thoughtfully, looking to the right and glaring at the author for messing up the script. She stuck her tongue at him.

"The author is a nargle," the blonde girl said, also looking to her left and staring wide-eyed at the space.

"That explains so much," Deadpool said, nodding sagely. "What did the nargle tell you?" he asked as if it were a common question.

"Something about reviewers demands and this not being a long enough story," she said airily, her eyes still yet to focus on anyone.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked, knowing everyone, except possibly Harry, wanted to know.

"Never mind," Harry interjected right away. "Just ignore it," he suggested, then asked, "What sports are there to play?" Anything to get off the topic of the author.

Ron immediately went into an in-depth conversation about a sport called Quidditch. Harry was fascinated about flying a broom, but he was skeptical about the game itself. What game is so unfairly scored?

"Wait, one hundred fifty points to catch a miniature flying ball?" he asked, looking at the rest of those in the compartment to see what they thought.

Neville was nodding along with Ron. Hermione seemed to be on his side, while Luna and Wade were talking about unicorns.

"His name is Frank. He's pink, so they cast him out of the herd," Harry heard Deadpool say.

"That's awful," Luna said, putting her hand on his arm. "The wrackspurts must have been the cause."

Harry ignored them and turned back to the rest.

"I agree," Hermione said with a prim tone in her voice. "That is utterly ridiculous. And completely unfair to the other players," she stated, nodding to Harry.

"But it's the most difficult part of the game," Ron explained, waving his hands for emphasis. "The ball is so small and moves so fast that it is almost impossible to catch. That and the seekers are targeted by the beaters," he said, stressing each word.

"I'm not saying that it's an easy task, but neither are the other positions," Harry argued, speaking calmly. "The beaters also target the chasers, you said as much."

The discussion on quidditch went on, when suddenly Deadpool pulled out a gun from… somewhere. "My Spidey senses are tingling," he said, pointing the gun at the door.

Hermione and Harry quickly ducked, like Deadpool was going to fire any moment. When he didn't, they relaxed a bit, but Hermione moved to change places with Neville, who didn't react at all, so that she was behind the gun. Harry just sighed and waited.

The door opened to three boys. One platinum blond, the two other looked like bruisers. "I hear that Harry Potter is in this compartment," the blond said, looking at Harry, then sneering at the rest of the group. He did a doubletake at Deadpool, and asked, "Why are you dressed like that?"

"Not your business," the masked man said, not liking the kid one bit.

There was an air of self-importance about the boy. Deadpool hated self-importance, he strived to make sure those that had it were taken down a peg or two. Wolverine hated that he did that, usually because it was the man's friends that got taken down, but that man was impossible to please.

Those X-men were always trying to make him, Deadpool, a hero. They were just too goody-goody for his taste. For all they preached about saving the innocent, they never took out the bad guys. Then they wondered why they kept fighting the same people over and over again. Deadpool was more of the opinion that a dead enemy was a safe enemy.

"I'm Harry Potter," Harry said, trying to deflect Wade's more murderous tendencies. "What can I do for you?" he asked, holding out his hand, but not standing. He was tall sitting, but he was slouched down as to not tower over everyone.

"You could leave this group of losers and join me and my proper friends," the blond said, still not introducing himself. He shook the hand, but in a quick like manner, like he'd didn't want to touch someone lower than himself. If his father hadn't told him to befriend the half-blood, he'd never dirty himself to touch the other boy.

"Hello, Draco Malfoy," Luna said, putting her hand on the gun and lowering it. "He's a harmless nargle," she said to Deadpool.

"Oh, it must be his father that gets my goat up," the chibi man said, tucking the gun… somewhere. "Damn Death Eater," he mumbled, making everyone stare at him, then turn back to the action.

"Anyway," Harry said, standing for the first time since anyone had met him here. He stood tall and ripped. His shoulders were broad, and his legs had strength in them, not that they could see that under his robes, but he put on an air of power. "Luna just saved you from being unalived," he told the blond, who looked at him queerly for his strange wording. "As for leaving with you, I think not," he said, standing in front of the boy. "I like it here," he added with menace.

"How could you like being around such… low lives? Draco asked, sneering again at the group. The only ones he recognized were Weasley and Longbottom. Both those families were beneath his notice.

"I don't like you," Harry said plainly. "You either leave or I throw you out." He cracked his knuckles, making quite a few of the children wince.

Deadpool cackled, making the tense scene more tense.

"You… you…" was all Draco got out, seeing the boy tower over him by a head. Not even his bodyguards were that tall. And for a kid, Potter was very muscular. He had heard that Potter was a scrawny kid that was scared of his own shadow. He had come to bully him into being his friend. That was not working out for him.

"Move along now," Harry said to the trio, taking a step forward, and they skedaddled. He sighed again and sat down.

"This chapter has to be at least a thousand more words, what shall we talk about?" Deadpool said, having finished his conversation with Luna about the unicorns.

"You're a crazy man, aren't you?" Hermione asked, not sure if Harry was reason enough to stay.

"He is, but he's mostly harmless, to children," Harry said, looking to Deadpool to confirm.

Hermione doubted that, and she was thinking of leaving. Though now that she had traded places, she was further from the door. She didn't really know anyone here, but if she left, she never would. And there was one thing she could say, it was interesting. However, there were at least two crazy people here, one seemed harmless, the other…

"Yup, no killing kids," Wade said, with a sage nod of his head. He really did pull off sageness well.

"What about that Draco boy?" Hermione asked, looking at Wade to answer.

"Ah, I was just scaring the kid. What I want to know is why he didn't react like you did to the gun? You two, too," Wade said, pointing at Neville and Ron. Luna seemed like a person who didn't react to anything.

"What's a gun?" Ron asked, confusion evident on his face. Neville wasn't looking much better.

"Seriously, you don't know what the best means of crime is?" Deadpool asked, taking on a shocked image.

"You forget two things," Harry said, lifting two fingers in the air. "One, we're in Britain where owning a gun is illegal. Not even the beat cops carry them. Two, they're magical. The whole race went into hiding before guns were popular," he explained to his friend. "Don't you remember from History of Magic?"

"Damn, I forgot this was not the land of the free," Wade said, slumping in his chair. "Wait, I can show…" was as far as he got when three voices yelled out.

"NO!" Hermione, Harry, and Luna, all said it at the same time.

It was then that the snack cart came and Harry, having the most money to spend, bought six of everything. He knew that Deadpool would try them all and let him know if they were any good. The man had no fear. Of anything. At all.

Sometimes that was a good thing, sometimes not.

"Candy," Wade exclaimed, if he couldn't have booze, candy would do.

"Be careful with some of those," Neville said, pointing out a few that were tricky to eat. "The frogs jump, and the jellybeans mean every flavor, not just food flavor. I got a grass one once," he explained, not grabbing those treats.

"Oh, grass," Deadpool said, grabbing all of the every-flavor candy boxes. He quickly opened one, lifted his mask enough to pop a handful in his mouth. He lowered his mask again and tasted the goodness. "Let's see, snot, dirt, strawberry, pineapple, and socks. Yummy," he said, chewing them the best he could.

"Wade, share," Harry chastised, grabbing a few of the boxes and putting them back in the pile.

"I say again, you're no fun," the masked man said, repeating his earlier movements and eating more of the jellybeans.

"You really are disfigured," Hermione said, with sadness in her voice. Only her and Luna saw what was under the mask, and Luna didn't seem fazed by it. Neither was she, she had seen burn victims on the telly, it was just different seeing one in real life. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud," she said, sheepishly.

"Yup, got to hide my ugly mug," Deadpool said without an ounce of self-pity.

"I am terribly sorry," the bushy-haired girl said, leaning forward and putting her hand on his arm.

"Forget it. I deal pretty well with my disfigurement," the chibi man said, trying to change the subject. "Looks like the ride is almost over," he said, looking out the window like he knew where they were.

"What about the thousand words?" Luna asked, looking to her left.

"The author's thumbs hurt," Wade said, looking at Fairywm, and nodding.

"That's a shame," Luna said eating a sugar quill. "Next stop: Hogwarts," she added as a cliffhanger.