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How to love a sociopath

Love.... What is this emotion that you speak about... Does it even exist.... To me?.... I'd never forget the day she smiled at me after I asked her why she was the way she was, I remember her asking me if I could handle it, if I could handle her...I laughed and look away from her eyes in moments like this, her confidence overwhelms my heart, so I crumble and and look away before I collapse. "I'm a sociopath...." She whispers making my neck snap back to her searching for that joking smile or laugh but she just raise a brow and struggled to hold in a laugh. "Ha see I told you, you can't handle me Khalid, stop wasting your time not that I mind though" she mutters before looking back up at the sky and sliding her eyes close probably due to the beautiful wind that caresses our being. For some weird reason I was unable to say a word but instead I just stared as her face that was now exposed due to her laying down on her back, every time she says those words I'm speechless, and she feels the need to remind me every time about her diagnosis, even though I want to pretend that it does exist, I guess this is her own way of caring, telling me how dangerous she could be...I probably should listen but I can't- "I know what you are thinking right now....I would not waste my time trying to defend myself nor would I try to proof to you about how am a good human being and blah blah blah, this is just me, emotions don't exist to me but transactions of self gratification do...if you don't like me then I dare you to walk away" those were the words she said to me the first time she ever revealed her diagnosis to me while staring up at me with her beautiful gummy smile. as if what she had just said to me was nothing big, as if it wasn't something that could make a human run far far away from her being, as if it was not something that could make me neurotic, and I don't know if I'm just plain stupid or not right now, but my feet still refused to move no matter how heavy the word that escaped from her lips felt against my being, I didn't move.. not even an inch, as my brain yelled at me to leave, Run and to flee, because these are the very people my parents told me to stay away from when I was younger they gave the word danger the meaning it has today,for they were the complete nuisances and deviants to society, or at least that was what everyone said simply because there is still currently no cure to this type of wounded minds in which these specific section of people possess, so of course,it's better to stay away from them right?, right?. But maybe she herself knew that I couldn't do it, that I couldn't walk away from her while being entrapped in my emotions and being enchanted by her beauty. I've heard from people that love always tend to make one weak and indeed she already has me on my knees and she knows it and I guess that's the scary part of it, maybe that's why she dared me walk away, with her cold eyes captivating me in a trance along with her beautiful smile, perhaps I'm stupid...because this was a very clear red flag, but here I was ready to sign myself up for that. "Pleasure to meet you once again" was all I said in reply giving her a goofy smile making her raise a brow at me, with a thoughtful look on her face before she smirked and shook her head..I wonder what she was thinking about right now... probably about how stupid I am or even more..that's one thing I've always disliked about her..it's almost impossible to read her but she knows how to read everybody within 3-5 minutes max, she reads the room like it's the back of her hand in her calculated mind...and then she goes on further to block you out with her beautiful innocent yet cold big Brown eyes..with her calculated gaze which still surprisingly able to make you feel comforted, understood and safe. And What a big mistake it is to believe that she cares about you enough to keep you safe when to her the world and relationships are simply all about what she can gain.

Wanderers_Concept · Urban
Zu wenig Bewertungen
11 Chs

Chapter 4 : I'm not a freaking Kid!

Please do take a little time to vote and add this book to your library, it would mean the world to us, thank you"- Wanderersconcept

" Some say ignorance is bliss but what if I have a curious mind that is killing my very being? "

James POV

You know how they always tend to say first day in university always feels like the best day...no?...well indeed no one has ever said it but who cares... Khalid is saying it now!.

Khalid tries to suppress the excited grin that has been dying to appear on his lips as he couldn't believe it, finally what he had been waiting for weeks for is happening, instead he manages to nods attentively as he listens to the lecturer gesturing as he explains the topic he is treating for the week...it felt as if it was the most interesting topic in the world.

Perhaps in a few years or months, he won't find it this exciting anymore but for now, allow him to enjoy his first class in peace.

Khalid thought he would be able to get through the rest of lectures feeling the same way but after several hours in different Lectures, he found himself battling with sleep as exhaustion started to get to him almost as if he had ran a marathon, when in reality all he actually had done was sit still and listen to the lectures attentively while taking notes.

Well then, Who knew lectures could be this exhausting even though it has nothing to do with moving your limbs?.

"Alright then class, that's it! we are done for the day" the lecturer announced making the class cheer, thank goodness he is not the only one who is exhausted right now.

"Well, I can see just how tired you all are, but I have to say since it's your first day I have decided to give you a break but just beware that I'm very fond of giving pop quizzes, impromptu tests and assignment, so before coming for the next class make sure to prepare ahead and also check out what we have covered so far today" he says making the class groan in disappointment while the man shook his head at them obviously entertained by their complains.

Khalid himself was wondering if he made the right choice of choosing to attend university perhaps he should have done something else that won't require this much stress, like photography, "who am I kidding?, editing takes several hours too" he thinks to himself and sigh, it seems like there's no way out for him.

"Ah, don't complain too much, for it's for your own benefit, do have a good day" the lecturer says with an innocent smile while catching the frightened and worn out look which the students wore, they all grumbled to themselves and their newly found friends as they started to make their way out of the class, while chatting with their friends and what not!,Khalid struggled to fit his books into his tiny bag pack...who told him to pack his whole text books when he only had 4 classes for the day?.

Looking tired and worn out, Khalid walks slowly and dreadfully to the hostel, male dormitory, dragging his feet while his body followed it's commandment as exhaustion was prominent on his being, he didn't even have time to feel anxious or nervous when he bumped into other students along the way, he just apologized and greeted them briefly without paying any more attention or thought to it.

After what felt like eternity but was actually minutes, he found himself standing right in front of his temporary room, he puts in his key and swings the door open only to find that the room was filled with everyone all at once this time, making him let out a sigh "great!,this is exactly what he needs". Hope you know what sarcasm is?.

James who was on the other side of the room laying on his bed looks up from his laptop at the sound of the door opening, his eyes takes in the appearance of Khalid and he sees the weary look on Khalid's face, the boy looked like he was about to collapse unto the ground and lay there for hours to recharge his energy levels, this makes James explode with laughter without intending too, dragging everyone's interest and attention towards what had cracked him up, they all laughed too, but Khalid didn't have the energy to deal with James or any of the boys mockery either, so he made his way towards where his mattress laid and fell on it face flat.

James couldn't help but say "aha so finally, you've experienced a day as a university student, congrats bro" with that statement and the guys in the room all burst into mocking laughter... Making Khalid let out a muffled reply, he doesn't have the energy to deal with their antics.

"Guys, I can't believe this is the same kid who was excited to start class today" one of the roommate states making the others to burst out laughing once again.

"Alright, alright guys, that's enough stop teasing the kid so much" James says struggling to not laugh at the boy, so the boy won't feel upset by them but it was hard holding back that grin that stretched at the end of his lips.

"I'm not a freaking kid" Khalid exclaims making them laugh even more

" okay then, Adult..." one of them says in a mocking tone, making them to burst into explosive laughter once again.

"Gosh, I hate you guys" Khalid states after letting out a sigh in defeat.

"As long as you feel something towards me...I guess it's worth it?" Pete states making the others laugh once more while Khalid rolled his eyes obviously not impressed by their playful antics

"Ugh!!!"

" aren't you guys going somewhere today?" Khalid asks making the boys raise a curious brow

"well, what do you want to do in the room if we do?" Frank questions out of suspicion, while Pete wiggled his brow.

"Got a new friend now?" Pete questions making the boy roll his eyes

"nothing, goodness get your minds out of the gutter" Khalid exclaims

"ah what gutter?, I'm not in any gutter you are the one thinking it" Frank states making Khalid smack his head on his pillow once again, he really is too tired for this!.

"guysss, let the boy breathe. No Khalid, we all didn't have class today so its a free day for us" James finally speaks up for the sake of khalid

"Yeah, unlike some people..." a roommate mocks making Khalid let out a groan while James tried to hold back his laugher as he could see how irritated Khalid was becoming.

"Oh stop it guys, actually we were waiting on you to come back so we could go hangout or something, we were getting sick of staying in the room all day" James confesses making Khalid raise his head from his mattress as he stares at his roommates with curiosity apparent on his face.

"Oh but Out to where?" He asked obviously feeling very curious, sure he is tired but he likes to explore, that's one thing that he is very sure of.

"Oh you know just here and there to relax for a bit, it can get pretty suffocating in here sometimes" James states making his roommates let out sounds in agreement.

"Oh sounds great, I'm coming let me grab my camera" and hurriedly takes off his shoe and put on a slippers.

"Bruh, why are you wearing slippers to go?" Frank asks out of curiosity making Khalid to look down at his slippers before he looked back up with a raised brow.

"Cause It's comfortable" Khalid states in reply

"But that's just not right dude..." Frank says making Khalid send him a confused look

"Shut up Frank" Pete said " it's his choice " Pete said swinging a hand on Khalid's shoulder, while the boy wanted nothing more than to get the dude away from his personal space.

" well, I know that's what you'll say but he shouldn't be wearing slippers to go out, it's too casual" Frank argued making Khalid let out a sigh...this is going to be a long day because once these two starts arguing about something it's hard to get one of them to back down.

"Let's just go guys" James calls out making all of them pile out the door, including the two who were arguing about God knows what this time.

Living with the boys will be fun they said, but in reality all they do is give him a freaking headache, hopefully this exploration of theirs would not add to the migraine that he is already struggling with.