Chapter 18

UNEDITED-

Disclaimer-

Just thought I should mention that this chapter does include mentions of suicide and attempting suicide. If this is a trigger for you please do not read this chapter. I'll put the word (Disclaimer) When the charactor tries the thing, then again when it's over just incase you want to read the rest. I mean if your reading this story then you already know it's pretty traumatic.

Anywho on with the crazy story....

Marisol POV-

I was bored out of my mind. Having nothing else to occupy myself I began to swing the cage back and forth. Maybe it would be better if I fell but the chains holding it to the ceiling were seemingly strong enough.

As I laid there, I closed my eyes.. I smiled when the swinging sensations brought an old memory forward.. the bucket swing at the park, with August and Forrest either side of me, grinning and both giggling away.. and now they are gone. It was all for nothing. It turns out no-one is in the other cells either, I'm here, hanging alone.

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A whole week went by in a flash.. how did I know it was a week?.. Every morning someone would lower the cage and take me to go to the bathroom, which is a portable toilet in the corner of the room. "Good morning Lilith" They would say.. And the same thing at night.. "Good night Lilith.." Just really odd. One thing I will say for certain, the hunger inside me was becoming unbearable. The pain had started spreading, I could feel my body slowly deteriorating. If I don't eat soon I will surely die from starvation.. I still think that might be better.

On the fifteenth day I could barely lift myself off the floor of the cage.. When they came for me in the morning I didn't get up. I just rolled over and internally begged for death to take me quicker.. My cage was hoisted back up into the air where I hung until they came to take me to the toilet before bed.

"Lilith.." I recognised Nats voice.. but I still didn't move from the spot I'd been laid in all day. "Why won't you eat?"... "Do you really want to die like this?"

"I'm not going to kill innocent people.. not for myself or anyone else.." I finally answered her.

"How many people have you killed?.." She asked.. I turned over to face her..

"Why are you even talking to me? You punched me in the face, while I was down.." I emphasised.

"You electrocuted me and made me break my nose.."

"You were trying to kidnap me!" What the fuck..

"Okay fair enough-" she held up her hands "-but I was just doing my job"

"Would you do anything they told you to?"

"No not them, only him.. he's the one you want to impress, and trust me you want to do that soon, before he gives up and hands you over to Roman.."

"Roman?" Great apparently it gets even worse.

"Victor's half brother" Like that explains everything. "I shouldn't even be telling you any of this" She shook her head.. "-the next time they tell you to do something, just do it.. Hey Carlos, you can take her now" She ushered another man over who stood by the cell door waiting. I stood up and went with him. As I walked I overheard Nat mutter something to another man standing by the exit 25ft away..

"-I don't know, I think Victor's got his work cut out with this one"

"He won't give up, she has wings for fuck sake.. we haven't seen one with wings since-" The man began a reply..

"Valerie.." I could sense the hidden emotion in her voice as she said the name. "Anyway I better get going, keep me updated.." And with that she was gone.

Another day past where I seemingly did nothing.. just laid on the cold hard floor. I went to the toilet once just to stretch my legs.. it seems nothing even wants to come out of me anymore. Like I'm just a mutated shell of a human being. Dirty and depressed.

Just as I stepped back into the cage I was grabbed from behind, I caught the glimpse of a shiny object from the corner of my eye, then felt the familiar prick of something being injected into my arm. My brain felt as though it was vibrating, unable to maintain a single thought as I was thrown forward into the cage. Then everything went black.

My eyes blinked open. Somehow I feel better, more energised and rejuvenated than ever before. I looked up at the bars on the cage, then the unwelcome smell of blood invaded my senses. I sat up soon realising that I'm drenched in it.. Slowly my gaze traveled to the other side of the cage. The girl from before, the one they threw into the room with me.. she's dead. What's left of her innards are scattered around the cell.

As I looked around the cage flashbacks came flying in. Her blood on the bars where I cracked her weak body against them as she begged me for mercy. I shook my head trying to free the images from my mind but it didn't work.. then her scream echoed in my ears.. I screamed too, to try and mask it but it became even louder.. I glanced back to her face as I cried, pushing myself as far away from her as I could, which obviously wasn't vary far. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.. Get me out of here!!.. Please!.. anyone.. LET ME OUT!!"

I stared at her for hours, with my back leant against the bars, the dent in her forehead distorted her face.. "God.. I doubt that you're even listening. But if by some chance you are.. please forgive me. I never wanted to hurt anyone..".."-also, if by some miracle August is still alive, please keep him safe.. Alex and Sam too.." I miss them all. I'm alone in this. "I think I need to find a way to end it.. well by now if you are real I'm already going to hell for murder so why does it even matter.. and why am I even talking to you. You clearly don't exist.. perhaps I'm just going crazy trapped in this FUCKING CELL!!" I punched the floor creating a dent but splitting my knuckles in the process. The sound echoed for a few long seconds in the huge space.

I decided a lay down was a good idea.. I couldn't swing the cage as I usually did because the dead lady would probably roll into me, or one of her pieces. I close my eyes and turned over. Somehow I could still feel the woman's eyes on me. Or perhaps I could see them in my mind. Either way I decided to just open my eyes and stare at her for awhile. Before long I somehow got used to her deathly glare following me around.

At the time I would usually be going to the toilet before sleeping, nothing happened. I was forced to endure her presence for the whole night as she decayed infront of my eyes. The morning finally came and the cage was lowered. I was escorted to the toilet as some men began cleaning my cage. And the floor around it, there was blood spread out all over the concrete.

The man ushered me back into the soaking cell, hoisting me up as the five men continued to mop the floor bellow.

(DISCLAIMER)

My head rushed with so many thoughts.. I can't do this anymore.. I can't carry on. My entire life has consisted of doing something.. always running somewhere, completeling something.. caring for someone. And now there is nowhere, no-one, just nothing. There is no chance I can find August anyway so what is there to live for? I'm still drenched in an innocent womans blood..

Dropping a piece of the already broken plastic toilet roll holder from my sleeve I began discreetly sharpening it on the rough floor of my cage. It almost looked like a shard of glass.

"Do you really think that is going to work?" My heart jumped in my chest.. my eyes flicked across the cell to see the woman that I murdered, sitting parallel to me.

"What?" I blinked a few times.. she's not real, I know that.. at least I think she's not.

"You don't get to take the easy road Marisol.." I panicked when someone next to me spoke.. The guy that I murdered. Only his head is on his shoulders now.. I frantically moved away from him into the corner of the cell.. then sat with them watching me for five minutes before going back to sharpening the plastic. Until one of them spoke again.

"Did we die for nothing?" Her voice was clear as day. Both of them still looked mauled and mangled but neither looked in pain. That was the creepiest part. My eyes darted again between the two.

"I didn't want to hurt you, they made me-"

"Oh here we go.. another one of 'those girls'.. always the victim never the villain right?" He smirked. "I guess she can't help that she's a killer.. it's just in her nature"..

"I don't want to be this, I never did.. all I wanted was to keep my brothers safe" I spoke with tears now streaming down my face.

"You can kill people easily but you can't keep one alive. Isn't that funny?" The man replied as calmly as before. I shook my head rapidly, maybe if I just keep ignoring them they will go away.. I resumed my secretive sharpening. "Can you imagine if poor little August has been waiting all this time for his big sister to come and rescue him.. and you never show up.. you never even try.. what a tragedy"..

"Stop.."

"You've given up on your brother quite easily now Marisol, what would he think if he knew? That his 'brave' big sister gave up on the chance of finding him.."

"AUGUST IS DEAD!!. He's dead.. Alex is dead.. Sam, Bella they are going to die. They will either be turned into monsters.. or eaten by them.. there is nothing left.. My existence is just going to bring pain to others. I don't want to die.. but I have to" I closed my eyes and gripped the plastic firmly.. jamming the edge of it into my wrist, instead of slicing, it ripped and tore open my flesh as I dragged it towards myself. The black liquid poured from the long open wound, out into a puddle between my legs.. The echo of a door swinging open bellow caught me by surprise. I might never have another chance. I stabbed the plastic deep into the side of my neck.

"Lower it now!" A feminine voice ordered.. "Hurry the fuck up!"

"Sorry Khan I'm going as fast as I can." One of the men replied in a cowardly tone. It's now or never.. I'm already feeling faint from the blood loss, I closed my eyes and ripped the plastic across my neck until it broke off half way through.. I looked down to see my blood, coating over the woman's on my clothes. I began coughing and spluttering as the liquid was running down my throat and into my lungs.. The pain became unbearable, and then nothing.

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(END OF DISCLAIMER)

I woke up in a haze, a paralyzed haze. I'm not sure if I am awake. Maybe I'm dreaming?.. Wait.. maybe I'm dead and this is hell. Everything is pitch black and I can't move. Every so often I hear muffled voices around me.. some I sorta recognise, some I don't..

"Marisol.. I've missed you so much. August still needs you. I think I need you".. Alex's voice sounded so worn out, exactly how I feel. I'm sure I felt something touch my hand, then it was gone.

What I perceived to be a few minutes later..

"I told you it wouldn't work.." The woman that I murdered was back.. I really should come up with a name for her, since 'the woman that I murdered' isn't very nice.. so let's call her Jane. "Aren't you glad I was right?"..

'no'

"What if August is alive? would you kill to get to him?" For a second I wondered how she heard my reply, then I remembered that I'm hallucinating. I replied anyway.

'of course'

"And how is that any different?"

'You're saying that it's okay to kill just to find out?'

"No Marisol.." ... "You are" The voice sounded just like mine, so close to me I swear I could feel the breath on my ear. If I wasn't frozen already I would have frozen in fear. My eyes opened abruptly, the bright lights made me squint at first.. my body was strapped to a bed, my uninjured arm was cuffed and chained to the wall behind me. I'm still wearing the heavy metal jacket that I've been carrying around with me for weeks.

I'm really not dead..

I'm alone in this bare concrete room, it has a double sided mirror but no table.. only this hospital bed, which is the comfiest thing I've laid on in so long and an IV bag that is stuck into the back of my hand. I pulled it out then lifted my hand to my neck to feel a large plaster. My whole forearm wrapped in a bandage.

I felt along the bandage, feeling for if they've done something else to me, or if I've mutated. Something wrapped inside the bandage on the back of my arm was crunching like a piece of paper. I looked back to the glass and stopped touching my arm. I need to wait, if someone put something in there for me to find, then it's not meant for anyone else, and they don't want anyone to know that I have it.

A man entered the room with a chair and dropped it two feet from the bottom of my bed, he left the room and someone else walked in.

The bald man in a suit, who I now assume is Victor. Just like before he didn't look at me until he sat down. He looked to my eyes, my neck, then my arm.

"I still really want to make this work.. as much as everyone thinks I'm pure evil I do have a heart.. I'd hate to see a girl like you end up with Roman, working in one of his 'pleasure' houses.. but I just can't let you go to waste.." ... "Which do you think is worse to endure Lilith, choosing to kill for me? Or being brainwashed into performing for Roman and the rest of the Hallows?.. choose right now which path you want to follow.."

"This one.. your path" The words came out in a defeated tone.. It's better than my other option. I might be good at keeping this guy out of my head, but what if Roman can control me? Ick I hate to think about it. And as if Victor claimed to have a heart before threatening me with this shit.. he really doesn't stop until he gets what he wants.. All I need to think about is what is this mysterious thing inside my bandage, and who left it for me?

"I was hoping you would say that.." .. "I can't wait to accomplish great things with you.. I know you don't see this as a good thing now, but in time you will" Saying that he got up out of his chair.. "I'll see you soon Lilith, it's been a true pleasure" He grinned at his victory as he walked to the door and exited.. just before it closed I heard him say "Khan?.. what are you doing here?" The door closed and all the voices muffled sounding almost the same.

A few hours past before two men entered the room to remove my restraints, they left the electrocution collar around my neck, to my dismay. As soon as I was free the two men scurried out the door with restraints and the chair, the room was locked shut behind them. Eventually the lights turned off and I was left talking to Jane. "At least you're not dead"..

"Yeah but you're supposed to be" Why am I still dealing with this..

"What even classifies you as dead these days anyway?" She asked.

"I'd say when the brain dies, that's it isn't it?"

"Not really.. you're consciousness is made up of energy-."

"-And energy never dies"

"Exactly.."

"..So what you're saying is... I never really killed anyone?"

"No I'm definitely not saying that.. you ended our chance to experience the world as you do... that is still ending our lives whichever way you look at it. I mean the other guy was an asshole, maybe he got what was coming to him.. but you murdered me."

"What am I supposed to do if they want me to kill more innocent people?"

"You do it.."

"Come again?"

"What's one more? or twenty? or a hundred if it means finding August again.. You look like a monster, they think you are a monster.. why don't you really start acting like one?"

"But what if I never find him? And I end up doing this for no reason?.. Wait.. aren't you supposed to be here to punish me?"

"This is you punishing yourself remember?"

"Right.." I affirmed.

I turned over in the bed away from the mirror, covertly fishing around in my bandage until I gripped the object with the tips of my fingers. Carefully pulling it out. A small folded piece paper..

'August is alive'

How does anyone here even know about August?.. and how did they get close enough to me to put this note in my bandage? Either way I have to try and find out the legitimacy of this revelation. Now I really do have a reason to try.

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NOTES-

I really hope you're still here enjoying the story.. I don't know why it has ended up the way it has, I guess there are alot of different influences.. I watch alot of TV and have many insane dreams. Anyway thank you so much if you have supported my writing!! I'm more greatful to you than you could ever know.

Regardless of whether you have openly shown support or not I hope you don't see this as a waste of time. :) Take care everyone. As always Peace.