hopeless salvation part 1

well it all started when I was 5 years old, my parents fought daily and it stressed me out a lot, we had good times and I wanted them to last forever.. too bad I was too greedy, now I'm in the clutches of one of the biggest demons MEPHISTO, ahhh ..how I wish someone could save me.., hello my name is[????] I'm 500 years old hahaha and I'm human, I know this might sound crazy but the reality is that I I have a power, the power to control time more precisely I can go back in time, I can't go forward in time or much less stop it but I can still rewind everything that one day already happened, cool huh?, not a bit hahaha, I really thought it was like a god at first, but after many events I realized that this is not exactly a blessing, but a curse disguised as a blessing, every time I saw the people I love die.. and it doesn't matter how many times I go back in time they will always die in a different way, just remembering their deaths makes me anxious.. I know I can go back as many times as I want and as many years, minutes, seconds and milliseconds as I want, the real problem is that none of this will help hahaha... no in the end everyone dies and i'm alone, or i go back in time and i feel like i'm in a "theatre" i feel like none of that was real.. over time i stopped crying but now i just can't see myself being happy.. why please if there is still someone who can help me.. please save me..., hey guys haha how are you? my name is [????] I'm 19 years old and.. why am I still doing this?.., I'm alone in this hell, every day that passes I feel my sanity slipping away, I can no longer give myself hope that one day I will be able to go back to my family and my friends..., why did all this happen to me??.. what did I do to deserve this?, I was simply kidnapped and they imprisoned me in a cell for 3 years and then they killed me, and after that everything, I was still condemned to spend eternity in hell.. all because a demon felt like making me suffer more.., I just wanted to escape from here even if it was just to disappear completely.. someone help me.. please. just explaining a little context of this story: basically all these characters ended up in desperate situations and all were left without hope.. poor souls right hahahaha, damn it!, I condemned everyone's soul to the worst nightmares and traumas, they ask me why?, because I spent 100,000 years saving the lives of those damn bugs, and in the end they just forgot about me.. I'm a God originally I was the God of hopes and dreams haha funny huh?, how a God of hopes and dreams ended up turning into this ?, simple all those I helped belittled me.. all because I granted what they wanted so they started to step on me and treat me like a puppy that they could send and totally control, so the day I decided to deny the request for help of these bastards I was treated like a god of shit and more and more I was condemned by ALL!, as punishment I was imprisoned in the deepest confines of hell, that day I was i imprisoned my mind changed completely i swore vengeance on every living thing i can see, feel or anything like that...

NEXT CHAPTER

(the slaughter and sorrow of a kind God).