Heartless

FROM the very beginning this marriage hadn't been based on affection. Their family fixed marriage both of them for the sake of the companies. The disparity between the two families they were from was too great.

Ayana and Gavin went to the same university. In fact, Gavin and she became friends. They became close. They have special treatment for each other.

She fell in love with him.

She thought Gavin felt the same way about her too because the way he treats her before seems special. But when their engagement announced, everything has changed.

Gavin changed.

He became ruthless.

Heartless.

He treats her like a slut and trash woman now. Unlike before, the bonds between them were unbreakable.

She doesn't know why everything went in that way. She thought Gavin can love her too. But she was wrong. Then she realized Gavin has never loved her because she's just a friend for him. Her eagerness to own Gavin, she asked her parents if she can marry him.

She understood why Gavin hated her so much but she can't blame herself. She's just in love.

Ayana opened her eyes, it was still quite early. What greeted her was soft sunshine filling her room and a gentle greeting that was already familiar. She stands up and went to the toilet to take a bath. She still has worked.

It was another day for her. Another day to cry on.

When she already fixed herself, she went downstairs to eat breakfast. She's slightly flabbergasted when she saw Gavin eating there too. Her husband usually went to the company early in the morning. That's why she's confused why Gavin was still there. Add the fact; he never eats his breakfast with her.

"Good morning, Ayana. Sit now and eat with Gavin." Manang Belen forced her voice to become jolly to lighten up the mood.

She stared at her husband and he doesn't bother to ask her to eat with him. She bitterly smiled. What she would expect from him? She's just a slut, right?

"I'm going now, Manang." She forced herself to smile but she can't. Emotions tightened inside her. Could she bring the old treatment of Gavin?

She turned around and was about to go now when her feet automatically stop the moment she heard Gavin's voice.

'What a silly heart, Ayana!'

"Ayana…" Gavin called out her name with full of authority. "Eat."

"I'm going now." She boldly said.

"Do I have to repeat myself?" He annoyingly inquired.

"Do I have to repeat myself too?" She rolled her eyes.

"You're not going to eat, then, what? You're going to blame me again?" He sarcastically snickered.

She turned around to face him. "Why do you care all of a sudden?"

"I really don't care about you at all." Gavin's words were killing her. That's the fact that keeps stabbing her in a million times. "I just don't want to argue nonsense things with you anymore."

Thousands of needles pierced her heart and insanely hammered it inside her freaking chest. Right, her feelings are just nonsense for Gavin. How much she tried to smile to ease the pain, but she can't. Her wounds were too deep to heal.

"You're so heartless." Her lips were trembling. She glanced up to avoid her tears. She doesn't want Gavin to see her crying again.

"I'm not heartless. Just accept the fact that I can never love you back. You can't have me even if you're my wife. I don't love you." He made the statement sound as damning as a rejection or a sharp knife which leisurely, bit by bit, cut inside her. "Life will not go in the way you want it to be. That's the way it is." The coldness in his voice was imitating his tone every time he talks to her.

Before he could see her break tears, she immediately went out of their house and drove her car. Her chest was being ripped by an unknown pressure. Her heart was going to burst to hear those words from Gavin.

Gavin always slapped on her face the truth, but she always covered herself with lies. Is it bad to still holding on?

She already arrived at the company and as usual, Mica approached her again with a creepy smile on her face.

"You know I love you so much, right?" Mica did a puppy eyes but instead, she finds it cute, she finds it gross. "Just don't be mad at me after I tell you my news, huh?"

"What is it?" She sat down on her swivel chair and scrutinizingly looked at her best friend. Why did she feel bad things will happen because of her best friend's news? She knows her best friend very well. For sure, Mica did silly things again.

"I just want to say that…" Mica looked at her seriously. "I will set you on a date with my boyfriend's best friend. Don't worry, he's handsome, rich and—"

"What?! Are you insane?!" Her eyes widened and grimly looked at her best friend but Mica just smiled at her. "I don't want to. Please. Just don't mind my love life, okay?"

If she agrees to have a blind date, it considers as cheating and she doesn't want to cheat on Gavin. He's the only man she wants to date. He's the only man she loves.

"I'm just concerned about your love life. You're already twenty-six years old and you still don't have a boyfriend. I just don't want to see you aging alone."

"Oh, please, Mica! Stop worrying about me. Just focus on your boyfriend. I don't…" Ayana's face turns somber. She suddenly remembers Gavin. "I don't need a man."

"Whatever! I'll set you on a blind date. Whether you like it or not, you'll meet him. If you're not going to see him, then, I'll invite him to go here to see you." Mica laughed loudly as if she's a witch on her own story. "Just easy as that, single woman." Before she reacts, Mica already went to her cubicle.

She lost her words. Her best friend never leaves her life alone. Damn it! She doesn't want to go on a blind date. Knowing Mica, she'll do everything to make her plan come true.

She's amidst of thinking about how to escape Mica's plan when suddenly her phone vibrated. She answered the call.

"Are you free tonight?" Damon asked from the other line. "I want to see you."

"No, I'm busy." She straightforwardly said.

"Are you rejecting my invitation?" She's pretty sure that Damon's forehead was already creased. It made her laugh. "Are you making fun of me?" He's already irritated.

"Easy, you're too hot." She chuckled.

"I am." Damon sighed. "Meet me at the Mall, 7:00 PM, tonight." Then he hung up the call.

Another roll eyes for another hot-headed man. Ayana can't disagree because for sure, Damon will hunt her if she didn't meet him.

After break time, she rushed her works just to make sure that she will arrive on time at their meeting place. Damon doesn't want to make him wait. She parked her car at the parking lot of the Mall.

She already saw Damon sits on the chair inside the restaurant with a fierce look and a blank face. But despite that, she can't deny the fact that he's handsome. He became even more handsome.

"You're two minutes late," Damon said without any emotion in his eyes.

"Just wow! I'm sorry for the two minutes late that keeps you waiting." She sarcastically said.

"How's life with your bastard husband?" He smirked. "Getting the worst?" He teased her.

"Getting…" She can't find the words to say. "Still loving him?" A sad smile furrowed her lips.

"You're too stupid to fall in love with him over and over again."

Damon was her closest cousin. He already ruled his own company and Damon knows her real status with her husband. Thankfully, Damon never spills out the truth to her parents.

"It's easy for you to say because you never fall in love." She haughtily said at him. "When love strikes you, let's see how stupid you are too."

"Love doesn't belong in my vocabulary, Ayana. Women are just a headache. They just want my money, fame and my body." Damon sipped to his goblet.

Another bitter man spotted. Ayana shook her head.

"Don't say that, my dearest cousin. Women will make you the happiest man on earth. Just let them enter into your world." She convinced him but his mind was still close for loving someone.

"No, thanks. I better live alone."

Ayana heaved a deep sighed. Damon is similar to Gavin. They don't want to love the people who love them so much.

"By the way, why do you want to see me?" She asked and started to eat when the foods already arrived.

"Just wanna see you. Is it bad?" Damon started to eat too.

"You miss me?" She was teasing him. They're really close to each other. Even though Damon was so cold and always emotionless, she's still comfortable with him.

"You wish." He just continued to eat.

"Are you going to buy me some clothes again?" Her eyes glistened in happiness. Damon always bought the things she wants. She's like a younger sister for him since Damon doesn't have siblings.

When they're already done eating, they walked around inside the Mall and Damon bought whatever she wants. Happiness consumed her. How she wishes Gavin can do that to her.

"There are so many girls want to date you. Why don't you choose one from them? Give it a try, Damon." She's still forcing her cousin to date, someone. But he keeps being emotionless.

"Zip your mouth for a sec, Ayana. How many times do I have to tell you that I don't need a woman? They're just a waste of time." Annoyance was now visible on Damon's voice.

She let out a loud laugh. She did annoy her cousin! "So, I'm just a waste of time for you? I'm a woman too, remember?" She acted as if she was hurt.

Damon pulled his words back. "That's not what I meant to say. You're my cousin. You're different from the other girls out there."

A genuine smile crept on her lips. She's still thankful because she has someone like Damon who can appreciate her existence, unlike her husband.

They walked around again and again until they became tired. Damon has an urgent meeting that's why they chose to go home now.

She got all the paper bags from her back seat the moment she parked her car in the garage of their house. Gavin's car was there and it means her husband is in the house now.

She directly went into the kitchen and she saw her husband eating silently with Manang Belen. Manang Belen approached her the moment she noticed her presence but her husband doesn't bother to look at her.

"Why did you go home late?" Manang Belen asked curiously, and then she glanced at the paper bags that she was holding. "Why do you have so many paper bags? Anyway, eat now."

She secretly glanced at Gavin but he's still bowed his head and still eating. "I've eaten."

"Manang, don't waste your time for the nonsense things." Finally, Gavin spoke but his words were like a dagger stabbing her slowly.

The atmosphere between them became heavy again and Manang Belen felt it too. Hatred was visible in her eyes. "Don't you think you're nonsense too?" The tightness caught in her throat and she blinked several times, fighting the tears that had been hiding so well in her eyes. She tried to avoid those emotions dwelling inside her but the moment she met the eyes of Gavin, everything wants to burst out. Every time he looked at her, she felt she's useless and worthless.

"What did you say?" Gavin was greeting his teeth. He stands up and walked towards her. "You're the one who's worthless here," Gavin said fiercely.

"I became worthless because you treat me like worthless. You don't even know how to consider someone's feelings." Many little branches inside of her died right there. She weakly looked at him. Her fragile heart shattered again. "Can we go back what we were before? Don't you remember? You treated me special! We were close and we have—"

"Wake up in your fucking illusion, Ayana!" Anger dilated with Gavin's eyes. "I never treat you special. We became close because that's what our parents want us to be." Gavin was already gripping her arms. His jaw clenched while glaring at her. "You never became special to me."

She bitterly smiled. Another knife stabbed her again, leaving a deep wound. "I really don't fucking understand why I'm still in love with you! This is not an illusion." She can see the anger in Gavin's eyes and he continued to grip her arms. She was hurt physically and emotionally but her heart was numb now. Too numb to bear so much pain again.

"I know I had a part in your life but you're too blind by hatred that's why you're doing this to me." Her tears were consistently flowing down her cheeks. "But I'm sorry, Gavin. I will keep gripping the strings between us. I will never let you go."

She doesn't know how much hurt she could take. How much more twisting her heart could handle. But what she said was true. She can never let go of her husband.

Gavin clenched his fist and teeth. When he can't hold back his anger, he gripped her arms to the point he can break her bones. She let her husband hurt her. If that's the way Gavin could feel better, she won't stop him. She'll just endure the pain.

Manang Belen interjected and forced to pull Gavin's arms away from her but Gavin was too strong.

"Stop it, Gavin! You're hurting your wife!" There were crystal tears flowing at Manang Belen's eyes.

Even though Ayana was in pain, she managed to smile. She wants to show them that she can endure the pain, whatever Gavin does to her.

"Know your worth," Gavin said grimly. "Don't push yourself with someone."

But before she could answer, Gavin's phone vibrated. Their eyes were pointed at his phone. Gavin immediately let her go and answered the call right away.

She leaned on the table when she lost her balance. Her body felt weak and so is her heart.

'Sophie.'

That's the name written on Gavin's phone. Ayana knows Gavin's relatives and she never met someone named 'Sophie'. The emotions whirling inside her doubled.

'Who is Sophie?'