TO THE MIND

I looked at the office building where I used to work. The DOER Company is now gone; the ownership has changed hands to another company.

At the end of December 2015, I accidentally passed the office, and for some reason, I felt like stopping by. Security stopped my car and asked my intentions; I mentioned some of my friends and wanted to meet them. It turned out that the 3-story building was empty.

"So, who is left, pak?" I asked finally.

"Pak Karmin in the warehouse and several people in the workshop."

"Okay, then I just want to meet Pak Karmin."

The security officer opened the gate to let my car in and parked it in front of the warehouse.

I remember the first time I came for an interview in this office, this building has just been completed, so I got into a new office building on my first working day.

I remember the three little puppies who jogged in the morning to greet Allan every time he got out of his car.

I remember the gardener who always worked silently, clearing weeds in the garden and changing the plants every day.

From the warehouse on the ground floor, I can see the back terrace of the third floor, which is used as a non-smoking area. In the past, when implementing the SAP system, key users and consultants would usually escape to this place, bringing their coffee cups and chatting to relax while enjoying the scenery below.

The warehouse and workshop are as vast as a football field with high roofs connecting to the top of the main building on the third floor, looking like a giant aquarium when viewed from the main building on the third floor.

The generator engine which has big size as a truck container, and various spare parts are also in large sizes, such as turbochargers, radiators, air coolers, pumps, cylinder liners, and pistons spreading like coral stones. And the engineers who walk around wearing orange wear packs look like beautiful fish.

Never imagine this place is shabby.

Don't ever imagine this place is full of grease and oil splatter. This workshop is spotless because for every activity, no matter how small, there is already a standard summarized in the Environment, Health and Safety (EHS) Guide.

All tools and machine tools, material handling equipment, and mobile equipment is marked with specific colors. Red color indicates prohibition, flammable material, and fire protection; Yellow color indicates a dangerous area; green indicates safe areas and first aid kits; blue is safety instruction; liquid, and gas content, have their color.

Everything is clean and tidy. So don't be surprised when there are office events such as employee day, family day, or other special and important moments; this room is transformed into a spectacular and festive place for parties.

Now it's all gone. Blank. Like there was never anything here like nothing ever happened here.

Like the luxurious Titanic that sank to the bottom of the ocean, everything that had ever happened in this majestic building had no trace.

***

Reportedly, After David left, I quit. Eventually, one by one the Sales Managers resigned from this Company. The Sales Team that used to be very solid fell apart due to Reorganization. Some left out of solidarity because they could not 'help' their friends. Some resigned because they got new, more promising jobs.

I don't even know when one by one, the resigning Sales Manager or engineer informed me that they had resigned from the Company. Maybe it's their form of support. Some may also feel insecure. How will you feel safe? The example in front of their eyes, the Company can 'dispose of' employees anytime even when needed. That's the reality.

For Sales Managers and Engineers, it is not difficult to get a new job. Even when they are still working, many head hunters are tempted to be able to hire them with the lure of more lucrative facilities and compensation.

THE DOER COMPANY IS FAMOUS FOR ITS HIGH-QUALITY EMPLOYEE. TURN OVER EMPLOYEES VERY HIGH. WHEN ANY PARTIES FEEL HARMED OR UNCOMFORTABLE, CHANGES TO THE ORGANIZATIONAL STRUCTURE WILL HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY. AND IT'S BECOME A NORMAL THING. THERE IS NO LOYAL TO THE COMPANY.

The last news heard; Marc, the President Director, also finally left the Company. Everyone knows there is a political game; maybe there is a law bigger than the law of the jungle or, perhaps more precisely, the law of karma or what the law is called.

Above the sky, there is a sky

And the wheel turns.

***

Behind all the stories about the Company, I realized that WHAT HAPPENED WAS LIKE WHAT WAS IN MY SUBCONSCIOUS.

Whatever is going to your mind, you are attracted to you

-Lao Tze-

Long before the layoff took place, silently, or perhaps more accurately, unknowingly, I was waiting for that 'time' to come. And I didn't realize that desire was in my subconscious.

Every day I came home late, at the earliest at 8 pm. Every night, Bright, who was in 3rd grade at Elementary School, sent text messages that threatened,

'Mamaaaa come back… Now, please….!!!!!! If you don't go home now, you can't enter the house, the door is locked!!!!'

But with a heavy heart with various considerations, I did not fulfill her request. I'm waiting for THE RIGHT MOMENT, a stronger reason, for me to get out, and resign from the Company. As compensation, I always fulfill all of Bright's wishes by buying all her favorite toys, especially after a business trip abroad.

When work pressure can't make me give up, even I often fall asleep on my laptop preparing presentations for the weekly Sales meeting until 3 am or have to stay at the office at the end of each month doing monthly sales reports.

When stressed at work with very demanding coworkers so that everything is measured by KPI, the Key Performance Indicator also does not make me back down.

When all kinds of difficulties and obstacles as well as choices can't get me out or quit, even when texting my baby who complains every night can't make me stop,

The Universe fulfills my subconscious command by BORROWING Ranita's hand.

My position was demoted for unknown reasons, Downgrade. If you sign the demotion letter, it means you can still work in that office. Otherwise, I have to leave.

For me, it's not about a signature or job title. Now I'm not faced with anything outside anymore. But I was faced with myself. I was confronted with my conscience. I have to downgrade myself if I want to continue working. Can I betray myself? Ranita left the decision entirely in my hands.

And I'm risking everything I've been enjoying, my comfort zone, to win my little voice, conscience, intuition, or whatever it's called.

Subconsciously I wanted an excuse so I could be resigned. It turns out THAT REASON that is acceptable, Downgrade without reason, wasn't that the one who waiting for?

A STRONG REASON SO I CAN RESIGN?

Indeed, Ranita is a hero, and I am not a victim either.

I just woke up.

***