Cooling Off

TW: for abusive behavior

In a cozy one-bedroom apartment, the sun peaks over the city buildings and spreads its rays onto the warm wood floors. Closed curtains get violently pushed open as Josh looks out the balcony doors. His long locks were pulled into a messy bun, and the only piece of clothing he wore was black boxers. Clutching the soft peach-colored fabric that made up the curtains, he takes out his phone and scoffs at the large clock numbers. 7:02 AM. He then throws his phone across the room behind him, hitting the wall-sized TV; the only thing left he allowed Barney to keep, out of inconvenience rather than sentiment. Josh glares angrily at the now-cracked TV screen. How he wished he had thrown it at a certain blonde. Surprisingly, the phone still worked as it began to ring while Josh was still steaming mad. Focusing on the phone rather than his plans to punch his fiance, Josh makes his way towards it. He answers just as it is about to go to voicemail.

"Hello?"

Josh answered ruggedly, his voice sore from all the shouting and cursing he had done the entire night.

"Josh? Holy crap, you sound like shit! Barney give you a hard time? Heheh."

"Shut the fuck up, Ned! Tell me, is he with you now?"

"No, can't find him, and his phone's either off or dead 'cause he's not answering… Unless he's blocked me. Either way, tonights the best chance we'll get to do plan B so, you gotta get him to come to me."

"That. Wasn't. Part. Of. The. Plan, Ned."

Josh spoke in a biting tone, he was feeling the start of a migraine creeping up. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he took a deep breath as he didn't want to strain his voice any more than he needed or have a fight with this asshole.

"Yeah, well, the plans changed. Get him to come to me or we can just forget this whole thing."

"Bastard! Don't pull that shit with me! This was your idea from the beginning! Setting us up! The rules for an open relationship! Marriage plans! Adopting kids! Even this stupid backup plan! And now you wanna call it quits?!"

"Hey! The marriage was your idea!"

"Which you agreed to!! …Ha, Haha, Hahaha! No! No, I don't think your stupid ego will allow you to let Barney off scot-free! Listen here, you dipshit! He's pissed me off now and if you don't do something to keep him in line, then I'll just get another blonde bottom himbo to replace him! Remember this well, Ned! You need me! But I don't need you!"

There was a moment of silence and Josh was thinking his broken phone had finally bit the dust. Finally, after what felt like minutes, a long sigh could be heard from the other end.

"Siigghh… Alright, how about this; Get Barney to Lame tonight and you'll never have to worry bout him again. Hell, I'll even hook you up with another boy toy to train. There's this annoying guy in our group who claims he's in love with me and needs to go. Pretty sure he's been speaking with someone too. You'll be doing us a favor. So how bout it? I help you, you help me. It'll all be mutual, heheh."

"... Fine!"

Without another word, Josh slams the phone onto the coffee table. The sharp pain of shards embeds itself into his hand. He wasn't sure if the phone ended the call but with it completely shattered, that didn't seem to matter. Taking a seat on the couch, Josh thought back to what made them redecorate.

* * * *

Barney had just gotten home from work. He was exhausted from having back-to-back meetings with VVIP investors all day. After each meeting, he'd then have to drink with those bastards and play up the competent employee facade. Once inside his apartment, Barney just barely got his shoes off when his wrist was yanked forcing him further into his open living room.

"Ah! Josh that hurts, let go!"

"Where have you been?"

"I was working..."

Barney half-heartedly pulls his arm back, knowing it'll only be released if Josh allows it. It seemed like he was in an ok mood as when he pulled, Josh did let go. However, he quickly closed the gap between them and pulled Barney into a kiss. Soft at first but soon it turns violently passionate. Just like him…

Barney raises his arms in a useless attempt to break free from Josh's grasp. Not only does he fail, but he ends up angering him. Usually, Barney would always be up for a hot make-out session followed by sex, but today he really was so drained, both physically and emotionally. Even if he were to get in the mood, with the way Josh was, he seriously doubted he could make it to work tomorrow.

"Wha-wait, Josh! I uh… I'm not really-"

Before Barney could give his reasons to stop, Josh flings him onto the couch. His back hits the corner of the couch's square-shaped armrest, knocking all the wind out of his lungs. While gasping for air in pain, Josh just smirks, then makes his way towards him. His large hands slam down on the couch, cornering Barney and blocking his escape. While he's still catching his breath, Josh continues their kiss. Barney could hardly breathe, panic began to set in and out of sheer instinct, he started to struggle and squirm under him.

However, Josh didn't make it easy, as he used one hand to firmly grasp Barney's lower jaw to hold him in place. Only when Josh saw that Barney was turning red and tears rolled down his cheeks, did he release his hand and let him take a big gasp of breath. Barney tried to sit up, however stopped when he felt a hand be placed on his shoulder. Through teary eyes and rapid breathing, Barney let out a small sharp gasp when the same hand slid its way down towards his backside. Taking note of this, Josh easily flips Barney over and lifts up the many layers of clothing covering him. Guarding him.

"Tsk, how many times do I have to say be careful! Only I am allowed to leave marks on you!"

Josh stares irritated at the red mark that is slowly beginning to form.

'In a way, you did make it since you threw me against this damn sturdy couch!'

Barney thought, feeling equally irritated, but dared not voice his response. Clutching his fists, he braced himself for whatever "punishment" Josh had in store for him. It was ridiculous to think he'd have to endure pain and humiliation for something he couldn't control, for something that wasn't even his fault but in the end, Barney knew it didn't matter what he said or felt. It was going to happen either way, whether it was a light or harsh punishment depended on what Josh's mood was. Barney let out a tiny yelp as he felt pressure being applied to his bruise. Making it worse, no doubt. He'd begun to shake a bit but did his best not to flinch away from Josh's touch.

"Hmm, maybe it's time we get new furniture."

Barney heard Josh's muttering to himself and took this as an opportunity.

"H-hey, um, let's go shopping! If-If we leave now, we can still make it to an Ikea before closing o-or we can look online. If-If you want, that is…"

Josh snickers at Barney's pathetic attempt at a distraction. However, getting him to buy new furniture that Josh wanted was sounding very appealing…

"Heh, sure Hun. Let's go."

Josh got up from Barney and made his way towards their bedroom to change. Barney, however, stayed on the couch, dumbstruck as to what just happened. Had he finally found a way to escape Josh's "punishments"? Just as Barney was thinking how much he'd pointlessly suffered these past months, Josh walked in. Taking Barney by the hand, he fixes and straightens up his wrinkled suit to the best of his ability. They walk out hand in hand but before they can step out the front door, Josh whispers into Barney's ear.

"Oh, don't think you've gotten out of your punishment. I just need some time to warm up the wax. When we get back, expect to call in late to work tomorrow~"

Barney feels a shiver run down his spine. Could Josh be able to read minds? It was too creepy how he was always one step ahead of him. Reluctantly, Barney gets led out by Josh. Not only did he have to suffer looking at furniture, he'd have to return home for even more pain. He felt his face flush in frustration as he bites down on his bottom lip. Suppressing the urge to curse, Barney made a mental note to not try and distract Josh from his "punishments" anymore… at least until the next time he got too scary…

* * * *

Josh reminisces on his fond memories. Back when Barney made futile attempts at getting out of being manhandled. It was cute.

'He's adorable when he's reduced to a miserable crying mess. Why can't he just stay like that!'

Josh felt his anger begin to rise. He made his way into the bedroom and took out two boxes from under the bed. One was labeled 'medical kit' while the other was engraved with three characters: J & B.

Using the medical kit first, Josh cleans and patches up his palm. It was easy as there were only small scratches left over from the cracked phone screen. Afterward, he opened the engraved box, and in it were various dildos, vibrators, ropes, and whips along with chains and collars. All of which were in different sizes and lengths. Josh began to take each item out and carefully placed them on the bed in order from small to large. Once finished, Josh looked on at his organized collection and gave a wicked grin that soon morphed into a burst of sinister laughter.

"Muhahahaha! After tonight, Barney Stinson, you will never be able to live without me!"

***

At around the same time, in a building about 45 minutes away, Ted somehow managed to shut his eyes, and just as he was drifting off to sleep, he was jolted awake by loud thuds coming from outside his bedroom. Knowing who was out there, Ted rolled over in his bed and tried once again to regain his tiredness to fall asleep. However a loud, distressed-sounding "Mosby!" strikes his heart and he races towards his door, afraid something may have happened to his friend.

"Ted! Ted Mosby!"

However, once outside his room, Ted regrets it, as there he sees a very pissed-off Barney. His arms crossed and his foot tapped the hardwood floors, he genuinely looked like the definition of a disapproving parent! Contrary to his body language, his outfit portrayed a different feel. There stood Barney, in a haphazardly button-up and wrinkled dress shirt. Crumpled up suit jacket clutched close to his chest and his hair... God his hair, cutely disheveled like he was trying to copy Ted's messy hairstyle. Ted felt his palms begin to sweat and his throat close up as he tries to gulp. Why did Barney look at him like… like he knew what he did… Oh god! Could Barney know what he did last night?!

"Theodore Mosby! What. The. Hell!... I wanna know why! Why would you do this to me!? Honestly! I'm your best friend and you do this shit to me! I mean, after last night, I have to question if you're really my friend! You of all people should know how I feel about this!"

"B-Barney… Look, it's not what it looks like! I mean, I made a mistake! We all make mistakes every now and then, right? We-"

"No, Ted! This isn't the kind of mistake you can just brush off! I can maybe understand someone else doing this to me but You? My best friend?"

Barney just glares at Ted in anger and disbelief. This was serious. It was clear how much Ted had hurt him. Biting the inside of his cheek, Ted hung his head in shame. His face felt hot and his eyes wanted to tear up. What if Barney never wanted to speak to him again? They had only just got to talking again and now that could be it. Ted couldn't believe after all this time, the first thing he did when they finally hung out was assault him like that! He didn't want to go back to how things were. He told himself it was because they were friends that he couldn't let Barney go no contact with him again but deep down, he knew better. The true reason he didn't want to lose Barney was because he couldn't go back to just the ties again. Not after having tasted just a bit of that sweet addictingly hot body. Ted was about to speak, more like begging... really he was ready to say anything just to keep Barney from cutting ties. That was until his next sentence made Ted freeze with surprise:

"Honestly, just look at me! Pure Italian, fine silk, sulled with wrinkles and spilled booze! Do you know how much the dry cleaning bill is gonna be for this? I'm about to get married, Ted! Josh made it clear I can't be spending our money all willy-nilly now! Shit! Josh! Fuck, wh-wheres my phone? What time is it? Damn, I gotta get to work!"

"On a Sunday?"

"Yes, Theodore! I'm getting married, I have to get that overtime pay! Screw it, I'll just have to settle for my emergency suit and call Josh when I get to work!"

Barney dashes towards the bathroom, and after a couple of minutes, he emerges in a new black suit. Ted looked in awe and confusion…since when was there a suit in there? And where was he hiding it? Before Ted could ask, Barney was already by the front door and as he opened it, he looked back towards Ted. His heart skipped a beat as Ted met Barney's eyes. He felt his face heat up as the memories from last night began to creep into his mind. However, Barney's glare made it clear that he wasn't on the same page as Ted.

"Don't think this is over! I'll be sending the dry cleaning bill to you! Bye."

With that, Barney was out the door. Not how Ted wanted the morning to go, but, it was better than he'd expected. By a lot. He was just glad it seemed like Barney didn't remember last night's events. Going back into his room, he saw his phone was blinking, notifying him of an unread message. Opening his messages he sees one from Robin and one from Lily.

He figured the one from Lily had to do with the plan they had just completed, albeit with some difficulties and challenges. In a way, he hoped their plan worked, yet he also hoped it didn't so they could do it again. Robin's text would probably have something to do with being the best woman at Barney's wedding since that's all she'd really talk to him about lately.

Having stayed up most of the night and it being a weekend, Ted decided he could reply to their messages later. He flopped onto his bed and stared at the nightstand, his mind going back to their special moment together. Though Barney will never know of it, he'll always keep it in his heart. A secret he'll take to his grave. Letting out a long and heavy sigh, Ted peels his eyes away from the stand and turns his head to the other side. His eyelids finally began to feel heavy and soon enough, he finds himself drifting off to sleep. Little did he know, that even in his dreams, a cute blonde still haunts him, more aggressively than ever.

***

Having just rushed out of Ted's apartment building, Barney proceeds to vomit violently onto the city sidewalk. Taking a moment to breathe, he makes his way towards the edge of the street and hails for a cab. Inspecting his new suit to see if any vomit got on it, he takes a pack of gum and starts chewing half the pack. 

After finally getting a cab, Barney contemplated on whether he should go home or just head straight to work. In all honesty, he'd rather just go to a bar and get plastered again. However, if he was caught avoiding either, he knew Josh wouldn't be so merciful with him. Things were escalating far too much out of his control. After a few more minutes, the taxi driver grew irritated.

"Where to?"

Where to, indeed. It was a much harder question than it appeared. 

"Hey, buddy! Stop with the lala dreams and tell me a destination, I ain't got time for this!"

"Uh, the um… just drive straight down…"

If he'd gone home, Josh would most likely be there. Having just broken one of their rules Barney knew it'd be too much, too painful to head home now. He decides to let Josh take some time to cool off. He'd rather bite the bullet and call Josh once he makes it into his office. The traffic, however, had other plans as when Barney's cab pulled off, it immediately became surrounded by honking cars. Barney cursed his bad luck but decided to use this time to nap his hangover away in the backseat. Pushing aside all the stress of planning the wedding, working overtime, and just being around Josh nearly 24/7, Barney slowly drifted off to sleep to the lullaby of honking.

It wasn't until 1 pm that Barney woke up, his luck seemed to have turned around as he saw he was only a few blocks away from Goliath National Bank. Paying the cab driver whatever cash he had in his pocket, Barney rushes into the building. Having just made it into his office, Barney finally looked at the clock. At that moment, Barney felt his body go cold. His eyes shrank at the realization of just how late in the day it was. His body began to tremble uncontrollably and he began to sweat. As he made his way towards his desk, his mind went through every possible way to give Josh an excuse as to why he hadn't called him, why he wasn't home last night. Once he finally collapsed onto his leather desk chair, the blinking light on his answering machine made his heart nearly stop. Panic set in as he nervously shifted through blank paper and empty files, pretending to look busy for god knows who. He knew in the back of his mind he'd have to go home eventually. He'll have to face Josh and endure whatever "punishment" he has waiting for him. Barney clutched the papers in his hand as tears began to sting his eyes. Then the phone rang…