Mixed Feelings

POV CHANGE – MIA'S POV

As I walked through the front door of my house, I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and uncertainty wash over me.

My date with Ray had been amazing, filled with laughter, conversation, and an intense connection that I had never experienced before.

But as much as I enjoyed the evening and the feelings that were growing between us, I couldn't shake off the nagging uncertainty about the future.

I had only known Ray for a short while,  our relationship started with a dare and while our connection is strong and intense, I can't help but wonder if I was doing the right thing.

There are so many unknowns and variables, and I couldn't help but worry about how things would play out.

'Would our feelings for each other continue to grow and deepen, or would they eventually fizzle out?'

'Would I be able to overcome any obstacles that came my way, or would we end up going our separate ways?'

My mind briefly went to Lily and her little threat on the first day of school. She barely knows me but the fact that I was together with Ray already upsets her.

'What's gonna happen if she learns we're dating?'

And she's not going to know it's just a dare. She'll think we're actually dating for real. Ray had confirmed they weren't dating but I can help but overthink things. I can hold my own with Lily actually but part of my resolution was to have a peaceful year.

Despite all these, I knew that I have to get closer to Ray. I wanted to ensure I can gain his trust.

Suddenly, my phone rang and I received a message.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw the content of the message.

Just two words – 'Status update?'

My mind quickly went to the instructions I was giving prior my coming to Los Angeles.

C. A. P. A. C

Contact, Attach, Probe, Acquire, Conclude.

I sighed as I replied the message: "Stage 1 completed, Stage 2 in progress."

And so with that, I slipped off my shoes and made my way to my bedroom, I resolved to take things one day at a time, I can't get caught in this web of attraction.

I'm just going to figure things out as I proceed. I don't even know what's going on in Ray's mind.

'Is he attracted to me or he's just being nice?' I asked myself.

As I crawled into bed and snuggled under the covers, I couldn't help but smile at the thought of the wonderful evening I had shared with Ray. The smell of his cologne, the sound of his voice, the feel of his lips all lingered in my mind.

'Was he really interested in me?' I don't know but I knew that I wanted to accomplish that which I'm supposed to.

RAY'S POV

The day following my dinner date with Mia was a bit of a rollercoaster. On one hand, it felt like the date had really helped to break the ice between us and make us feel more comfortable with each other.

We were no longer just two strangers who had met on the first day of our senior year in high school; there seemed to be a growing attraction between us that I was both excited and anxious about.

On the other hand, I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't ready to be in this position again so soon.

When I moved to LA, I had made a promise to myself to avoid getting involved in any relationships for a while. My heart had been through enough heartache already, and I didn't want to go through that again.

As I left the school clinic to get a clinical pass inorder for me to go home early, my thoughts kept drifting back to my last relationship, with Ashley back when I was still in San Francisco.

She had been my first love, and we were incredibly close, we were inseparable. My mother always joked that she wasn't ready to be a grandmother yet, and thinking about that made me smile.

When my dad died, Ashley was there for me through it all, even when I pushed everyone else away. I loved her deeply and had even entertained thoughts of a future with her.

But I guess it wasn't meant to be.

The saying: "Out of sight is out of mind" actually has some truth in it. When Ashley left town with her family, things fell apart between us.

We were fine at first, but then all of a sudden, she stopped texting me, and I didn't hear from her until nine months later when I saw her on a new Facebook account with someone else.

The heartache and betrayal had been almost too much to bear, and I had vowed to take my time before getting involved in any new relationships.

But then Mia came into my life, and she was so different from anyone I had ever met. She was kind, intelligent, and beautiful, and she made me feel things that I had never felt before.

I had planned on taking my time to figure out how to deal with these feelings, but then Sam dared us to date openly for a month, and everything changed.

Now, I'm struggling with feelings that I had planned on suppressing, and I can't help but wonder what will happen after the dare is over.

'Will our relationship just be a game, or will it turn into something more?'

As I drove home, I sent Sam a quick text telling him that I needed to go home and rest. He texted back almost immediately, saying that he would drop by later in the evening.

I arrived home, parked my car, and went straight to bed, my mind racing with all of these thoughts and questions.

I closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would bring some clarity, but all I could see was Mia's face, her beautiful smile, and those sparkling blue eyes that seemed to see right through me.

I tossed and turned, trying to push the thoughts out of my head, but it was no use. Eventually, I managed to drift off into a restless sleep, only to be awoken a few hours later by the sound of my phone buzzing.

It was Sam, reminding me that he was coming over later as promised. The sun was streaming in through my bedroom window, casting a warm glow on my face.

I groaned and checked the time, seeing that it was already late afternoon. I had slept for much longer than I had intended, but I still felt exhausted.

I dragged myself out of bed, my legs feeling heavy and uncoordinated as I stumbled towards the kitchen to fix myself something to eat.

Within minutes, the smell of coffee filled the kitchen and as I breathed in the rich aroma, I felt a little more awake.

I grabbed a slice of bread from the counter and slathered it with peanut butter, taking a big bite as I leaned against the counter.

While I ate my sandwich, I reached for my phone and called Mia to check in on her and see how she was doing. As I dialled her number I felt a sense of nervous anticipation as I waited.

When she finally picked up, I could hear the smile in her voice as she greeted me.

"Hey Ray, how are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm good, just woke up," I replied, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep. "How was your day?"

"It was great," she said, her voice bubbly and cheerful. "Didn't see you after school though. I thought we were gonna hang out for a while."

"Yeah, I totally forgot. I was a bit tired so I just left early to get some rest. I'm kinda fine now, though." I said to her, my voice as steady as possible to convince her I was okay.

Not that I can tell her how my mind is racing about our uncertain relationship.

"You sure you're fine now? I can drop by if you want." She offered.

"No need to bother yourself dear, plus Sam is on his way. I just called to check up on you and to make sure you're doing okay." I said sincerely.

"We'll see tomorrow, okay?"

" Yeah sure. Make sure to rest well." She said, sounding just like mom.

" I sure will." I smiled before hanging up the call.

As the evening approached, I heard a knock on my door, and I knew it was Sam. I opened the door to find him standing there, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Hey man, ready to party?" he asked, winking at me.

I hesitated for a moment, knowing that I wasn't really in the mood to go out, but Sam has a way of persuading people, and before I knew it, I was getting dressed and following him out the door.

The club was crowded and noisy, with the bass of the music thumping in my chest. We were surrounded by a sea of bodies and flashing lights.

I wanted to feel the liveliness of the surrounding but at the moment, my mind was pretty occupied with something else, someone else.

Trying to forget about it, I had a little too much to drink, and before I knew it, Sam was helping me into his car and driving me home.

The cool night air whipped against my face as we drove, and I leaned my head back against the seat, feeling a sense of exhaustion wash over me.

As I stumbled into my bedroom and collapsed into bed, I made a mental note to think things about Mia through. Sam didn't tell me going all in will still be confusing.

I knew that I couldn't keep pretending that everything was okay when my heart was telling me otherwise.

It was time for me to face my feelings head on and figure out what I really wanted.