19

Chapter 10

I stepped forward towards her slowly and hugged her tightly without waiting for any further instructions. Mom remained quiet for another couple of seconds before returning the embrace. As she pulled away from the hug, I caught sight of the letters clutched inside of her purse again. With a frown etched deeply into her face, I took one step back and asked, "What are those?"

Mom wiped at the tears that were streaming down her cheeks with the back of her fingers before wiping them away again with a sniffle and clearing her throat.

"Well, uh…" she stammered with a weak smile. "These were mailed to me yesterday morning. They arrived at my workplace a couple hours ago."

My mother was crying, her shoulders shaking and I wanted to comfort her in some way but I didn't have the heart to ask her about what had happened. Instead I decided to ask, "Why are they mailed to you today and not tomorrow?"

"Because it's Saturday," Mom answered softly with a sad expression on her face. "I haven't left the house since Monday afternoon because of work. That's also why I wasn't home when you called me on Sunday; I had to leave early to meet someone at the hospital so we could fly in this afternoon. Since then, I' m staying in my office because of my doctor appointment."

"Are you hurt?" I asked worriedly.

"I am fine, Jay, don't worry."

She gave me a reassuring grin and I nodded my head slowly.

"Do you need me to stay with you?" I asked with genuine concern, my eyebrows creased in concern.

Mom laughed quietly before shaking her head slightly.

"I don't think so, Jay," she replied softly. "Besides, you're supposed to spend time with your father and sister right now. The only people who would stay with me in my house is my family members or my husband. And I wouldn't mind either of them staying here if that was the case. They love you and your father very much. They are great people."

I raised my eyebrow, confused, at her words.

"I thought that... I thought that dad and mom had always been close," I frowned. "They were inseparable and always together at work and stuff... Did something happen between them? Was their relationship breaking up because of me?"

Mom's smile faded from her face and her blue eyes became a little darker.

"Your father and I broke up last year, baby. We were fighting, and it wasn't easy for either of us," she sighed quietly and turned her gaze downwards. "We had talked about getting back together for years now but neither of us has been willing to do anything about it yet... Until now, I guess."

"Until now? Are you saying that… that they've been fighting before?" I frowned even deeper. "And they're not talking anymore? That doesn't sound right."

"Yeah… They've broken up for a while now. I was the one who initiated the breakup but, Jay, I never meant to hurt your dad in any way. He's the sweetest man that I know and I just couldn't see him being happy with anyone else besides you. That's why I never wanted to pressure him into a decision, because I knew how he felt about you and I didn't want to ruin the good thing that you brought to his life. But… he told me one day that he wasn't going to be able to stay with me anymore and that he was done. He said that he had made his choice and there was nothing that could bring him back."

As she explained, tears started to fill her eyes again but she quickly blinked them away.

"After I heard that news, I cried for days. Every time I went to bed that night, I could hear your father crying in his room; I could feel his pain through the walls. Then the next day, he called me and apologized for breaking up with me, and he told me that if it ever came up in conversation, that he loved me just the same and that he hoped that I wouldn't hold anything against him. After that, everything was back to normal."

A small smile crept onto her face and she shook her head at the memory. "Anyway, let me explain what's going to happen once you and your father get back today. He'll come over to help me finish packing up a few things and then I'll drive you and your siblings to school today. You'll be staying with my sister for the weekend and the three of you will be spending time together while your father works at the hospital, helping patients, until Friday afternoon."

"That sounds wonderful, Mom," I smiled. "Can I invite Jake over for the weekend?"

"Of course!" Mom smiled widely. "He should be over at 4:30 pm."

Mom placed her hands on my shoulders and stared at my face as if contemplating something before speaking again.

"Jay, before I forget, do you have your passport?" She asked nervously.

"Yeah. Why?" I wondered.

"Oh no reason... just checking," Mom replied. "Well then, I'm sure that you and your sister will be having fun today, especially you. You guys always have fun together."

I nodded my head before turning around to walk upstairs to find my phone on my bedroom dresser and pull out my laptop. My cellphone was charging on top of it which made me realize that there was no signal anywhere. I turned to find Mom standing on the other side of the room watching me.

"Everything okay?" she asked concerned.

"Nothing's wrong… but I don't have reception," I responded. "I can barely call my phone and there's no service in the apartment."

"How did you manage to forget about that? Oh well, I'll take care of that later. Let's go ahead and pack your stuff," Mom suggested with an encouraging smile. "You can leave all of that stuff in the guest room while you two are here. I've already told your father that I was going to bring you both back so he won't have to wait too long to get his son back home safely."

"Sounds good," I responded smiling happily. "Are you alright? Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?"

Mom paused momentarily as if pondering whether or not she should continue to discuss whatever it is she needed to talk to me about with her. I could sense her hesitation and waited patiently for her to say something.

"I was actually wondering if you wanted to visit Jason while you're here," she said after taking a moment to compose herself. "If that would make you uncomfortable then you absolutely don't need to worry about that, but I really think that you should go and see him."

"Jason?"

"Yes…" Mom nodded her head as she continued to ponder the issue. "Jay, I've been talking to Jason and he told me that he misses you terribly every single day. He'd definitely appreciate it if you visited him and see how he's doing. And Jay, please try and keep an eye on your brother for me, okay?"

She was obviously very nervous about mentioning Jason's name, but I could feel that she was worried that if she didn't mention his name at least five times, I might somehow miss the point and end up misunderstanding it. Her sudden change in topic immediately threw me off guard, making me extremely puzzled by what exactly she was asking.

"Jay, I need to be honest with you. Your brother hasn't been feeling well lately and I honestly don't know what's happening inside his brain anymore. I've seen him for the past week but… Jay, we can't talk about this anymore. Please listen to me when I tell you that I'm asking you to please visit your brother for me. I'm begging you to do this, baby. Okay? It'll be like old times; nothing will be different. I promise!"

What was she trying to tell me? I wasn't getting the message. How could I possibly understand what she was telling me when she didn't even seem to understand her own words?!

"Jay, I'm your mother and I love you dearly. If you really want to spend the rest of your life with me, please understand that I can't force you to go against your own desires. You don't owe me anything; I'll never be angry with you because you're still young and there's a lot to learn. Just trust me on this matter and please try to think about it," she pleaded gently.

Her last sentence hit me so hard that I almost jumped backwards. A thousand thoughts began racing through my head. Did I owe Mom something? No, of course not. I hadn't owed her anything for years