Chapter Ten

KYLE'S P.O.V

Silence had reigned upon us, Albert had retreated further into the corner and I could hear his labored breaths. I wanted to apologize but nothing came out of my mouth as I kept fiddling with my fingers. I focused my gaze onto the floor, too embarrassed to even look in his way.

“It might have not been… but as you probably saw I didn’t fight him off either so…” his lips quivered and I caught the hitch in his voice. He was about to cry and it was all because of me.

“I’m sorry! Please don’t be mad at me!” I felt my own tears building up as I threw myself on him. My weight caused him to tumble backward but we were saved by the wall. He gently pushed me by the shoulder, and I searched his frame to see if I had injured him, but I was surprised when he laughed.

I always thought of laughs as in the sound that’s emitted from the throat, but when Albert laughed, I saw it in his eyes. How they crinkled around the edges and his cheeks rose higher, lips shaping out beautifully. But even then, the joy wasn’t in his face, but in the glint of his eyes.

His posture was more relaxed as he ruffled my hair, “relax buddy, I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re not?” I replied, hopeful but surprised.

“No… just upset.” He looked away for a second then when he looked at me again, he was smiling. “You’re really weird, do you know that?” he chuckled, I knew he was joking but I couldn’t help but find him correct in his assumption.

“I know… I’m sorry I’ll try my best to be normal.” I looked down at my hands, not really sure where this conversation was going. I heard him mumble a curse, before he yanked me by the shoulder, shaking me slightly. “No you idiot, I meant it as a compliment.” I looked into his eyes, “You don’t have to change who you are ever. Don’t change because of what people think of you, ok? They should like you for who you are, I like you for who you are, so keep being you. ‘Normal’ is over-rated anyway.” He was sincere, I know he was. But I couldn’t believe him.

I’m a lot of things. Naïve. Oblivious. Could be an idiot sometimes. But I’m not ignorant. I know what I am. And if Albert knew too, he would've run for the hills. He’s saying that now, just to cheer me up.

I needed to divert the attention away from me so I blurted out the first thing, “Do you want to talk about him?” I immediately regretted it when I saw how his whole demeanor dropped. He let go of my shoulders and scrunched up into himself. It felt as if he was going to cry, but nothing happened.

“His name is Julian,” he said after a few moments, I was caught off guard because, although I asked, I wasn’t expecting him to give me any answer at all. I stayed silent for I hadn’t a clue what to say, and he had that look on his face, similar to my mum when she had things to get off her chest. “I’ve been in love with him for over two years now.” I was shocked by the information, to say the least.

“I had decided to confess to him on the day of my uncle’s wedding, I was in California to attend the ceremony and he was there too. With the help of some booze, I gathered the courage to face him.” he had a far-away look in his eyes, as if reliving the moment, “It was one of the best days of my life. I didn’t just tell him how I felt about him, I also asked him out. Thought I’d get the rejection out of the way,” In some way, it reminded me of the whole purpose of this scheme, “To my great surprise, he said yes. He said that I had caught his attention. And throughout the whole duration of my uncle’s wedding celebration—which lasted a week because my uncle is extra like that—, we had the best time. We went on dates, spending every waking moment together. He was the sweetest boyfriend I could ever imagine him to be. It felt like a dream, and perhaps it was…”

“What do you mean?” I couldn’t help but ask, it seemed so picturesque.

His face fell, still in his own zone. I knew he heard me so I waited, “It all changed after we came back. It’s like he became a different person! He—” his voice broke, tears running down his face, he kept on wiping them away with his sleeve but they continued to fall down. I noted the frustrated shake in his hand so I scooped closer to him. Hugs always helped me when I was upset, so maybe it will work for him too.

“Julian— he’s popular in our school. That’s how I got to even know about him. I had waited for him by his locker the first day of school after the trip, but he didn’t appreciate the approach like I thought he would,” I could already feel myself getting worked up, my curiosity in its peak, yet I had this unsettling feeling in my heart. “He purposefully raised his tone for everyone to hear, insulted me. Told those lies about me. How I had begged him to be my boyfriend all summer and that, when that didn’t work; I resumed to stalking him.” There it is, the anger I anticipated. I couldn’t explain it, but I definitely knew Albert didn’t deserve this treatment.

“Coincidently that day, one of the school's authoritative council members was visiting, and he heard everything, he reached out to my parents, told them that I was making Julian uncomfortable with my ‘tendencies’ of course with the help of the principle who refused to hear my side of the story; I got suspended from school for two weeks because of this.” he finished with a sarcastic laugh, humor drained completely from his tone and expression.

“Then why would you let him do that to you earlier?”

My tone came out harsh and wasn’t what I had intended, it brought tears to his eyes and his lips quivered. He curled into himself, letting out a few dry sobs. “It’s because I’m hopeless! I still love him even after all he’s done. I tried times and times again to distance myself. To stop him, but he doesn’t want to! a sweetly spoken word from him, and I’m full of hope that he’d change. So I consent to what he wants. What’s wrong with me?!” he looked at me, and he seemed so lost and broken, I couldn’t take it. I knew him for ten minutes but I already know that anything other than a smile does not suit his face.

I went against my better judgment and hugged him to me. I thought he’d push me away in disgust, but instead, he buried his face under my head and continued to cry. “Nothing is wrong with you.” I whispered, causing him to pull away. “What?” he asked. Trying to catch his breath and wipe his ever-flowing tears.

“I said, nothing is wrong with you. He’s the one treating you wrongly.” I furrowed my brows. Albert seemed awesome. Why would anyone want to intentionally hurt him? He didn’t reply, and I took it as him trying to calm himself.

“I’m sorry. You had to see that on your first day… what a bad impression to give. Also for causing you to sit and listen to a stranger breakdown in an empty classroom and then comfort me later… I’m such a bad tour guide.”

“Hey don’t apologize, you didn’t force me to sit and listen… Also, you’re not a stranger, you’re Albert! And you’re not a bad guy~” I whined softly at the end of my short rant. Feeling awkward. I winced when a bell sounded out, and I looked at Albert in question. Do they have a doorbell in here? Or was that the fire alarm? Shit! Something is on fire?!

“That signals the end of the first period. I’m sorry you had to miss maths, the teacher is a prick anyway… let’s get you to second period, wouldn’t want you to miss that as well!” Albert said, standing up and pulling me with him before I could voice out my concern, I blushed at my own stupidity, and quickly decided to do one last thing before Albert walked out of the room.

“Wait! I was wondering… would you be my very first friend, please?” He smiled— his very pretty smile, may I add— but he looked stunned?

“Why do you want to be my friend? I mean– you’re nice and very strange, I’d love to be your friend, but… listen, being friends with me may inflect bullying on you, the whole school may scorn you for hanging out with the only –openly– gay student.” He looked down, “if you want a ‘problem-free’ school life then, I suggest you stop talking to Me.” his voice was low and sad.

He’s right… I do want a problem-free life. The whole point of coming here is to get closer to Andrew. Getting into problems might endanger my true identity. But I found myself not caring about the consequences that might come back to bite me later. Something about Albert made me want to be his friend. “Still. I want to be your friend!” I said holding onto his wrist to prevent him from going.

“Why do you insist on being my friend? Did someone put you on to this?” he narrowed his eyes at me as if I had gone mad, then his facial expression went wide and he gasped in shock- wait what? “Are you gay? Is that why?? You have taken an interest in me?” my eyes widened and I let go of his wrist immediately.

“I– I didn–t m–mean to make you feel unco–mfortable…” I stuttered uncontrollably, taking a step back. But to my absolute shock- he just laughed?

A smile lifted the corners of his lips, and he came forward to ruffle my hair– what’s happening? “I was just messing around. I wish you could have seen your face though, oh god!” I pouted embarrassingly, but visibly relaxed.

“If you really mean it when you say that you want to be my friend, and if you’re sure you can handle the package that comes with hanging out with me then… yes, I’ll be your friend!” he exclaimed in a light tone, throwing his hand over my shoulders and ruffling my hair as he pulled me with him out of the room. “Let’s get you to class.”

His mood switch gave me one true whiplash. Humans were more complicated than I had initially thought. Those moments where I thought he’d be mad or upset he ended up being the opposite. Will this happen with every person I come into contact with? Or is this behavior excluded to him? My god, the internet mentioned nothing of this complicated behavior confliction!

“Here we are!” we stood in front of the open classroom, filled to the brim with students. I heard him mumble about the teacher being late or something among those lines. I couldn’t focus on him when I felt blood rushing through my veins and sweat building in my palms. Warning bells ringing in my head with the overwhelming need to run. Run!

And I did, not stopping when Albert shouted out behind me. I ran and ran past students hastily apologizing to that one kid I pumped his books off until I found myself slamming open the door to the boy's bathroom. “What the hell Kyle! The teacher will be there at any minute!” Albert came in after me, panting heavily. “I can’t— I can’t go in there!”

“But why?!” he exclaimed, and I didn’t know how to explain it to him.

“That’s too many people! I can’t handle it.” I covered my eyes, feeling tears gathering in my eyes. Why am I like this? “Oh, Kyle…” I looked up at Albert and found him… smiling? He threw his hand over my shoulder and led me out of the restroom, “it’s okay. We will go in together.” He whispered in my ear, and I couldn’t destine what I was feeling.

“Albert, you’re fortunate I’m not in the class yet. And who’s this?” a man spoke from the door as we neared the classroom we were in front of a few minutes ago. I assumed he is our teacher. “Must be my lucky day! And this is Kyle he’s the new student.” I side-eyed Albert and his sarcastic tone. Is it okay to speak this way to a teacher?

“Ah, playing the tour-guide again huh? Welcome, Kyle. Let’s get you acquainted. Oh and Albert I know you’re not in my class. So leave, I’ll take good care of him.” The teacher smiled at me and ushered me to enter. I pleaded to Albert through my eyes to stay, but the door was shut before I could protest.

The door closing echoed slightly, muting the busy classroom instantly, I turned and walked behind the teacher keeping my head downwards. I could still hear Albert by the door and that somehow comforted me. “Come on dear, introduce yourself.” He ushered me to the center of the front, and I hastily shuffled there.

I raised my eyes, still avoiding locking eyes with anyone, as I took a quick sweep of the students, “H–Hello. My–My name I–Is Kyle Henry and—” The instant I uttered my name, everyone burst out laughing but that’s not what hurt me.

“What a stupid nerd.”

I looked up when I heard this, locking eyes with the one who said it. He didn’t even whisper. No, it was said loud and clear, for all to hear and laugh even more. He smirked, keeping his eyes connected to mine. I felt my heart shatter that very moment, my breath leaving me as thoughts of dying filled my mind.