Four - The Cherished Friendship

Ladybug became a slow moulding part of my life where I needed to be with her at all times, she was there whenever I finished my lectures and we'd act like children running around together facing things stupidly. "Did you always not have many friends?", Ladybug asked me while giving me a hot chocolate from the small stand. "I never felt as if it was needed, friendships have never been what I was accustomed to... especially when you loose someone important in your life; for example your mother, than everything seems pointless to you if you're afraid you'll loose them one day". Sipping my hot chocolate made me look like grandad Will with a milk moustache, "but that's a part of life, you need to learn how to loose and gain people respectfully. It's as if you need pain and happiness for the natural sense of your existence".

Me and Ladybug made silent eye contact sitting next to each other on stairs. Her hair dances slowly with the winds rhythms, and she slowly blinked which expressed her eyelashes perfectly. I had a deep urge to hold her and tell her everything is okay, I wanted her to keep smiling and to live happily, what is this feeling? It won't leave? My heart races constantly to just the thought of her being two meters close to me.

On my way home after I had dropped off Ladybug at the train station my mentality began to change, I had began to desire something as close as a companion for this awful world we live in. Ultimately the thoroughly of death hit me, I understand I am a twenty-one year old man but the forbidden thought made me sink into mass fear. It began to condensate and my visions of my mother erupted, with these thoughts I ran faster to the care home. Rushing inside my suitcase fell opening itself aggressively on the floor with all my university files and hard work.

"Michael what happened?", Grandad Will looked at me with a sudden surprise. "N-nothing I just... nothing", I had muttered with stutters, my chest felt like it was sinking. My vision went blurry and my eyes blinked slower, before I new it I had fell and it was dark and quiet. In my head It had a vision, a vision of long haired Ladybug in a field of flowers smiling at me from a distance, she approached me and her figure became unrecognisable. As I wake up my head was in immense pain so I had to rub it for a little, I turned to my left and it was Carer Mary. She was a beautiful girl with long curly blonde hair, she'd look after all the old patients at the care home with a love like no other. "Micheal your grandfather was very worried about you, why don't you see him when you get better?", she smiles gently rubbing my head.

After talking to my grandfather I had found a letter that was rather unique from the others in our mailbox, it was written 'Mr Belgium' on the front of it, I opened it and smoked my cigarette sitting on my bed:

'Dear Mr Belgium,

I know that you are aware of my recent divorce files, my husband has invited me to Mississippi to work things out between the both of us. I leave on Christmas Day.

Fair well to you Mr Belgium'

Nothing had made me feel this way before... my heart felt a sudden silence and I dropped her letter. All I could do was sit here and think about the times that we had together, from teaching me how to smoke to getting hot chocolate together and playing in the snow. I clenched my fists and got up immediately, my heart couldn't give up on this. My legs began to run, run faster and faster to the train station, it felt as if I was unstoppable. That vision was no lie. My feelings are not a question anymore. I know what she is to me.

Catching my breathe as my legs stopped with a shaking posture I see her, Ladybug holding a suit case with her same blue clip in her short hair. "Ladybug!", the voice that was like a dozen lions demanding their spot in the animal kingdom. She gently turned her head to my far direction, I couldn't hear her but I saw her lips move to say my name. She ran towards me with those fragile heels, my legs found another chance and where able to move to the one thing that was important to me. Her. Ladybug jumps on me and I spin her, she hugs me tightly and I felt the closest that I've ever been with her.

We heard the trains horn, Ladybug looked at me separating from our hug. It looked as if she pondered with crystal watering tears, I rubbed them and never felt such gratification in my existence. "Micheal you understand I cannot stay here", I new what she meant but my heart couldn't bring my self to let her go this easily. "This is goodbye then", tell her, tell her how you feel don't let her leave. She smiled and gave me a gift that was perfectly wrapped accompanied with a ribbon. "Have this in remembrance of me", I couldn't say anything and my words kept getting swallowed with anxiety. Ladybug turned around and her hair flowed with one of the trains movement. My eyes saw a vision of my mother in her back, it broke my heart and I felt like crying again but men do not cry and so I tried my best holding in everything.

"Goodbye Mr Belgium", she said under her breathe collecting the luggage she had dropped making her way to board her train. As she sat down I held my gift tighter and tighter. Feeling miserable from not telling her the way I felt.

I watched it move slowly and make its way to its destination, apart of me was missing. I'll never forget you Ladybug.