Hell is Catholic

"Nonno, you can't be fucking serious!" I cried exasperated.

"Do not curse at me, Donatella Arianna Di Angelini Franceschini!" He snapped angrily, pacing around my room that, again, had turned into an ICU, after I collapsed when I came back from killing the bastard's entire familie. "You disobeyed me, again, and again, and again. First you began to train daggers without my permission, then, you made your guards teach you how to fucking drive a car, and then, you runaway from home to do what I told you not to do, and come back covered in their blood. All that to collapse in front of us, after making both me and your brother lose our shit."

"Do you know how dangerous that was?" Gio yelled, crying. "Why are you reckless with your own life, Ella? Don't you understand you could have died in there? You almost died when mamma and papa did. How could you walk straight into the beast's den like that?"

"I thought I would lose you," nonno yelled, tears streaming down his face, "we looked for you everywhere and you were nowhere to be found in this fucking villa. Then, you comeback in a stolen car, dripping with the blood of those bastards? I told you to fucking wait, how could you do that?"

"They are dead!" I yelled back. "I'm alive, but they are all dead, are they not? I killed them, I did it, because you kept waiting and waiting. Where did waiting get us?" I clenched my fists before grabbing the needle connected to a vein in my right wrist, yanking it away. "Someone had to do it, and that someone was me. I promised to get revenge, and I did exactly that. Now you don't need to beat yourself up, nonno, they are all dead, I made sure of it!"

"You just turned 13 years old a week ago, Donatella!"

"My age does not measure my capabilities, nonno!" I countered. "I am 13 years old, yes, and so what? Didn't I just murder them all?"

"What about you?" He yelled exasperated. "I'm the one who had to deal with how broken you became after they died, after you killed them. I don't want to see you break more, to fall into that darkness that swallowed you again, Donatella, fuck. You are my little girl, you shouldn't be doing this at this age. You are too young, you are too traumatized, and,"

"I'm the heiress of the Franceschini, nonno," I hissed. "I would end up traumatized and broken one way or another. Ain't that the way of the mafia? Which of us ain't traumatized? It's how it was supposed to be. You don't need to worry about my mental health, I'm fine, and,"

"Fine?" Gio gasped in dismay. "Have you lost your self-awareness now too, Ella? How the hell are you fine? Who do you think it's gonna fall for that? Let me tell you, you ain't fooling us! Nobody in your place would be fine, you don't to lie!"

"I am not lying, I,"

"You are unstable," nonno yelled. "You have severe PTSD, severe anxiety, dyslexia, predominantly impulsive and hyperactive severe ADHD, severe anger issues, you are masochist, sadist, you don't know how to obey rules, you're manipulative, scheming, and not to mention your indifference and lack of empathy towards anybody else but me and Giorgio. And a little narcissistic liar!"

I swallowed, feelings my skin burn, "I am not sadist!"

He gasped in dismay, "You need discipline and you clearly will not obey me, and will keep trying to be a rebel. You don't listen to anyone but to whatever the voices in your head tell you to, and you are aggressive and volatile, Donatella. SCBPA will fix you, your attitude, and your stubborn personality."

"I will not go to that fucking hell!" I yelled firmly.

"They will definitely fix your horrible habit of cursing," he snapped angrily. "And you will, if you still have hope of ever becoming the head of our familie, because the way you are now, giving you the position would be the same as sentencing all of us to death!"

"Nonno," I growled, clenching my jaw. "It's a delinquent school."

"You are a delinquent, Donatella," he mocked.

"No, I'm not. All I did was get revenge on who killed my parents!"

"In a delinquent way," he snapped. "You killed them unconscious."

"Had I not done that, I would have died," I yelled.

"Another proof that you were not ready to do that," he yelled louder than me. "That was fucking coward. We, Franceschini, don't do it like that. You did that because you were impatient and you disobeyed my order."

"What matters is that they are dead," I yelled.

"No. What matters is how you killed them! Can't you see? The way you do things, the way you act, the way you talk, the way you treat people, the way you have no care for the familie rules… you need discipline!"

I felt my strength shaking, "Nonno, please, not there," I cried.

"Scarlatti Catholic Boarding Prep Academy is the only place that will fix you, mia belle," nonno sighed tiredly, finally looking 54 years old, the lines of time hardening his beautiful youthful features, and he sat at me side, in the corner of my bed. "I don't know what to do to you anymore, mia belle. The school isn't as bad as you think, I went there, your papa went there, my papa went there, and my nonna and my nonno met each other in there. It's an elite school for troublemaker kids like you, most traumatized for something that happened in their past, like you."

"Nonno," I cried, feeling tears of desperation welling up in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks, "please, don't do this to me. That place is full of maniacs, and it's like a Catholic Anarchy in there, they are horrible, the priests are evil, papa told me stories about them to scare me. I'm a female, I'll be doomed in there, I don't wanna go, please, please," I begged.

"48% of the students in there, this year, are girls, mia belle. Only 52% of them are boys. There's also a new Priest taking over as headmaster, he is a living proof of how effective the school is. He will take an even better care of the kids in there, because he was once a kid, one that attended the whole period from when he was 10 to 19 years old, he swore to Dio and to repent his sins, he became a Priest, he's 28 years old, and already the new headmaster, he took over a year ago. It'll be better than it was in my time, or in your papa's."

"It'll be good for you, Ella," my brother sat on my other side, tears still welling up in his peridot green eyes, almost identical to mine, except that mine are siren-shaped and his are deer-shaped eyes. I took from papa, he took from mamma, though the color is from nonno. "Nonno told me that their psychiatrist in there is a good one, and they won't discriminate you for all you've done, because they've dealt with worse."

A bitter scoff left my lips, "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave Sicily, and I definitely do not want to stay away from home for 6 years. I don't want to be imprisoned in that 15th century military anarchist Catholic gothic fucking island. I don't want to go. You can't force me."

"Except I can," nonno clenched his jaw. "Don't make it difficult."

"I am not making it difficult, nonno," I snapped angry. "I'm stating my free fucking will, and you're trying to take it away from me."

"Free will is an illusion, Donatella," he scoffed.

"Mamma and papa would never do this to me," I hissed.

He tensed up, "Not only they would, as they had planned for this."

I froze, "That's not true," I gasped. "They would never. They,"

"If you doubt, you can talk to the director of SCBPA yourself, since you're so fucking stubborn. He has been the director ever since your dad's time in there, he's under the headmaster, and he's also a Priest, an old one, who studied with me. Ivo Valcareggi is his name. He talked with both your parents himself, not that long before everything went down."

"No. No, no, no," I yelled in denial. "They… they wouldn't."

"Ask him then, since you will be going to the school. I'm the one who makes decisions in here, not you. I'm the adult, your nonno, also your guardian and responsible for you, and beyond that, I am your elder, and the capo of the Franceschini familie. Your refusal will only prove why I am sending you to Scarlatti, Donatella," he stood up. "Believe me, I did not want to do this. I fought with my son and your mamma when they told me they wanted you to go there, because I did not see why. Now I understand. They saw the danger in your before I did, and now that you gave concrete reasons to, I am sending you there."

"That's bullshit," I yelled.

"Curse at me one more time, and I'll teach you a lesson that will hurt more in me than in you, Donatella Arianna Di Angelini Franceschini!" He yelled, out of patience. "You will stay grounded and under surveillance until you leave. Don't waste your breath trying to fight it, I can be way more stubborn than you when I want, and you've already gotten me on my last fucking nerves, so, don't make me do something that I'll regret. Be obedient for once in your fucking life. I've already talked with the director and with the Priest, and I've laid down your situation, they made an exception and will take you even though it's been two months since classes started. Pack your things, you leave in 3 days!"

Panic rose inside my chest, "Nonno, please, please, I,"

"Don't you want to act like a grown up? Reckless grown ups deal with the consequences of their actions, and this is it. You brought this to yourself for being a disobedient rebel kid. Deal with it like a grown up, as you wanted to be one so badly," he hissed and I flinched. "You will be free to come back on summertime from June 20th to August 15th. I've already paid your tuition until senior year, so don't even think about leaving before you graduate at 19. Don't be reckless in there, it'll get you punished."

"But,"

"No buts. It's decided. And if you keep disrespecting me and all of my decisions, Donatella Arianna Di Angelini Franceschini, I'll make your brother the heir and next patriarch of the familie!" That made me freeze.

"Hell no," my brother cried. "I don't want that. I want to be a pilot, nonno," he turned his crying eyes to me. "Please, don't fight him, Ella."

I swallowed hard, feeling sicker at every breath I took, because my little brother is everything to me, and I know how he's always dreamed of being a pilot and taking over the airline company of the familie, one of the many businesses we own. He's also no build to be a capo at all, he can't kill a fly, he has blood phobia, and he's pure-hearted. This isn't only about me anymore. "Fine," I said through clenched teeth, "I'll do it for Gio. But I'll never forgive you for what you're doing to me, nonno. Never."

He looked away from me, hurt, "I can live with that."