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Chapter 19

Getting sloshed worked so much better when Chris had beer. He peered blearily into his fridge. No matter how he squinted, though, not a single brown bottle could be seen. Not even a can.

Woe is me.

He waggled his fingers and shouted, "Shazam!"

Beer did not magically appear.

"I command thee, minions of darkness, to fetch me a brew!" He stated it in his most regal voice. So what if he slurred a bit. Minions should always obey.

Except he didn't have any minions because he wasn't a king.

"Fuck." More and more, the world, life, everything sucked. His mom wasn't his mom. His future as the Antichrist might have been overstated. He'd imagined a sister and then kicked her into Hell. And he didn't get the girl.

Not even a blowjob.

What was the point of living?

I'm a loser. Useless. A waste of space and breath.