Dumbledores Bad Day.

My first stop on my adventure to make dumbledore have a very unpleasant day was hogwarts. Wearing my invisibility cloak I pop right on into hogsmeade and make my way up to my castle with the wards welcoming me once again. As soon as that happens I apparate to the 7th floors room of requirements. I rob the room of lost things once more of everything including a new diadem of Ravenclaw. I would be cleansing this one for use not destroying it.

I'll explain more about it later.

Next I swap over to the ward room and take control of all the wards which kicks dumbledore. Out of the ward scheme meaning he can no longer make any changes to the wards or apparate on the premises.

The room changes into exactly what I need it for which is a ritual room to heal the wardstone. I start pouring powerful solvents and magical blood onto the massive black stone which starts repairing at a visible rate. You can feel the magic around hogwarts surge and the castle itself groan and start repairing itself.

Dumbledore at this point in time feels the wards rip away from him but currently he is talking to mad eye moody to hire him to locate Harry Potter who is missing. He quickly tries to apparate to the castle but fails. And smashes right into the ward injuring and knocking himself out. I get a front row seat to all of this and I'm fucking tickled pink.

With the ritual done and the wards and castle starting to automatically repair I move on to the next step of my plan. I apparate right into the headmasters office. I pick up the sorting hat off the shelf who is also starting to be repaired by the schools magic and plop it right into my head before explaining some of my plans to it.

I make my way over to the lovely red Phoenix who is sitting on his perch and chirps at me sadly.

Examine the perch and the bird I can see they are both bound to dumbledore using a dark ritual kind of like the familiar ritual Voldemort used on the basilisk to control it. A quick examination of the perch reveals some binding tunes and other little nasties I quickly scratch away.

There's a magestic chirp of happiness and freedom as the bird flames up and melts down the perch that had imprisoned it for year into a pile of molten slag.

"Ah before you destroy his stuff let me sand a few things." I say patting the bird who chirps in agreement.

I quickly snag anything of value including the pensieve and all of the books in his collection any little rare trinkets that I thought might be useful I also nab. I look at all the portraits of the past headmasters and think about the thousands of years of knowledge in them. I have the castle move them to a hidden area so Fawkes doesn't destroy them.

After my planning with the hat is done and he lets out a mad cackle I warp him to the great hall for safety.

"Alrighty buddy the rest is up to you if you also want to have a new partner that isn't the old geezer I have free space although you'll have to share it with a basilisk though I do have lots of delicious peppers to eat." I tell the Phoenix who cocks his head as if measuring me before chirping in agreement and I gain another familiar. I feel it bind to me willingly before I apparate off as the whole headmasters office is melted down burning everything left of dumbledores.

Next stop is the dungeons. Snakes office to be precise. Since it was summer break he currently wasn't here. He was at his home being a greasy little shit. Now some of the people might think that snape is a hero. But I really don't see it. You guys may say that he begged for the life of lily from old Voldemort but that was just so he could basically have her for himself. He never begged for Harry or James and even if he didn't know it was his love or whatever he still told the prophecy to Voldemort knowing that the snake faced shit would need to kill a baby or a pregnant mother. He basically sold out the life of an innocent baby. That's a piece of shit in my book if there ever was one.

I wipe out his private potions stores for my own stocks as he had some really good stuff I even snag the rare materials from the potion ingredients stores. There's a ton of loyalty potions and other such things I bet he prepares for dumbledore. I even steal the lemon drops laced with Calming Draught and wit sharpening potion dumbledore uses to stay at the top of his game. I mean the mans over 150 years old or so he's got to be having some memory issues and He uses a pensieve so that says a lot. Shame he lost so many memories from fawkes. I chuckle darkly. Next up I snag snakes old school book and any other books he's made adjustments too. The man is indeed a potions genius and i might be able to learn a bit from him.

Next stop I pop off to the kitchen where I deliver a new menu to the house elves. Including pizza cheeseburgers and other drinks besides pumpkin juice milk and water. I mean seriously pumpkin juice isn't all that great. I like variety.

After that's all sorted I apparate to the unconscious dumbledore and give him a swift kick in the balls and mug him of any valuables on his person including his famous put-outter. Before I leave I vanish his clothes and tattoo a nice Snape Was Here above his wrinkly old ass before snapping a picture. It's only permanent ink so. Just to make matters even more fun I cut off his long flowing white beard and make it so he can't grow another one.

After this I pop off to the three broomsticks and pick up a keg of butterbeer and a few bottles of Ogden's old firewhiskey. Before heading off to tell the girls about my grand adventure with a new Phoenix on my shoulder.