A child

I was born on the 21st of June. Well my twin brother and I to be exact. But unlike him I was given a away. Why? Well I got atleast 3 different answer to how and why that Im still not really sure about it.

I was put up for adoption when I was only 3month old atleast thats what everyone has told me. I dont remember how I found out I was adopted so not much of a dram about that. I was adopted twice. I was raised by my "grandma" was originally named after them but had to be adopted again by my "dad now" to be able to move to the U.S.

I dont know anything about how I was born I remember when I was in 4th grade we had a homework where we had to ask how we were born and nobody in the house knew the answer also they laughed at me for looking like Im about to cry. I did behind them.

I remember I cried a lot growing up Either in silence or outloud . Mostly in silence tho because I dont wanna be hurt physically and be laughed at. I remember that as a child I was full of anger and sorrow. I often questioned my own existence. The words I use to say to my self a lot I can still remember "You dont belong here".

"Why did I have to be born?",

"why did they have to give me away?" "why dont I get huged like other kids do?"

"why do they always hurt me?"

"Why am I not loved?"

"why does everyone treat me like a garbage?"

I remember I started asking these questions when I havent even gone to school yet so around the age of 4.

My heart: I tried to forget and forgive how I was brought up. Im 23 now with 2 little girls who I love so deeply. I dont understand how people can treat a child the way I was treated. How can you a little soul? To say words you will not even be able to say to a grown up?

Next: Age 4-8