Chapter 11 - Death Knell

While the other participants in line talked among themselves, Alexis stood there huddled against herself, arms wrapped around her bare stomach, fingers clutching her skull drumsticks. This was a horrible idea. The humiliation was persistent. She wished that everyone in line wasn't standing so close! Only when she looked over at Isaac sitting in the bleachers did she get even a smidgen of relief. When she'd made the outfit she was wearing, originally she'd been thinking to go all out, and in her excitement she didn't consider for a moment what she'd actually feel like in public. Even the sleeveless shirt felt like it left her naked.

When her turn finally came, she stood in front of the drums and for the first time looked up and noticed that the same boy that had been in Miss Jarves's room on the day she got the cassette tape was sitting behind the judge's desk, wearing that same dull expression as when they'd first met. Two other boys sat with him, different in looks except for that they were equally attractive, and that attractiveness made them seem somehow controlled, like they knew what was going on and what was what, while she was just a confused mess. Her knees began to quiver. This was it. Time to embarrass herself. Time to destroy her life. Time to be the worst drummer in the history of mankind. A glance at Isaac earned her a thumbs up and a smile that she didn't deserve. Why was Isaac even her friend? Evil thoughts haunted her as she sank to the seat.

"Cool drumsticks," the boy she'd met before in Miss Jarves's room said, and it seemed sincere, even behind those perpetually half-closed eyelids of his. "We're gonna play the song again, the one you've been practicing with, but this time there won't be an accompanying drum track. You'll have to play it correctly without assistance. Ready?" It was the same thing he'd said to every other person auditioning.

Swallowing hard, Alexis knew her dry throat would make her voice creak, so she just nodded. It was a good thing she wasn't auditioning for singing. The boy turned to his right where a girl with high pigtails was standing beside a boom-box they'd hooked to a couple of giant "cabinet" speakers using a 1/4'' jack. The girl pushed the play button. It yielded with a mechanical clicking that, normally so satisfying a sound, Alexis only heard a death knell.

The track began to play, the same one she'd heard at least a couple hundred times. Some confidence returned. It opened with three beeps and then the drumming began, only this time there would be no assistance from a lead track. The drumsticks shook in her sweating palms. The third beep hit and Alexis started. She almost lost the the right drumstick but held on, adjusted while playing with the other hand, and kept going.

Five seconds later and Alexis's confidence was faltering. This was going poorly. She'd missed a hit. A few moments later and she had to speed up to get back on beat. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was glad that Isaac had told her to slow down on the practice, because if she was sore right now there was no way she'd be doing even as well as she was. The song ended with a quick run and a hit to the high-hat. Every mistake she'd made rolled through her mind like a never-ending crescendo. Even before the high-hat's trebly whisper had faded, Alexis jumped to her feet. With a stiff back and eyes on the floor, she nodded and said, "Thank you," and immediately went for the door. All the way there, she blocked out the stares of everyone around her by focusing on a single word, repeated over and over in her mind. Awful. Awful. Awful.